Growing up, I always felt different, struggling with challenges that seemed effortless for others. They say that comprehending the complexities of abuse is no easy task. The effects are bewildering and often remain hidden for years. In April 2023, at 32 years old, I received a diagnosis of C-PTSD. My journey began within the confines of The Unification Church, a religious cult. Trapped in a system that offered no autonomy, my parents themselves became victims, succumbing to the will of a cult leader under immense peer pressure. I don't have many memories of my childhood. Abuse and trauma have a way of evading conscious memory through Dissociative Amnesia, shielding the moment but burying the effects deep in the subconscious mind. A ticking time bomb. Driven by the misguided belief that giving a child to the Church would grant them honor in God's eyes and the respect of fellow congregants, my parents gave away my older sister. They relinquished everything they owned, placing their trust in the hands of pedophilic men masquerading as holy figures. Only when my mother stumbled upon undeniable evidence of young women being trafficked did she and my father escape. My parents were left destitute, uneducated, and isolated with five children. Burdened with multiple jobs to make ends meet, my parents became mere remnants of their former vibrant selves. My sisters and I clung to each other, becoming the caretakers of our own destinies. Neglect became my constant companion, and to my misfortune, my older sister who struggled with severe mental health issues used me as her scapegoat. With so many siblings grappling with greater challenges, I succumbed to the belief that my existence held little significance. I became intimately acquainted with solitude. Unaware of the minefield of suppressed memories within me, I spent my early adulthood chasing an elusive dream born out of the love and attention denied to me throughout my upbringing. As a result, my self-esteem plummeted, relationships faltered, friendships disintegrated, and I battled with eating disorders, isolation, anxiety, and depression. At 28, I mustered the courage to seek therapy, and that's when my world changed forever. Now, at 32, I am diagnosed with C-PTSD and I actively grieve many things: the childhood I never had, a nurturing upbringing, the person I once believed myself to be, the aspirations I held dear, and above all, my family. Throughout this process, I lost my parents. When I finally found the strength to ask them about my childhood and the cult, they admonished me for daring to speak of it. Even worse, they refuse to acknowledge the Unification Church as a cult, despite its undeniable historical context. Amidst the chaos and heartache, I discovered the indomitable strength within me. I am grateful to my mother for fleeing the cult and insisting that all her children receive a college education. Now, a decade later I gained admission into one of the nation's most esteemed Master in Healthcare Administration (MHA) programs. Despite the countless hurdles life has thrown my way, I remain determined to move forward while offering support to others along the way. I am actively engaged in trauma therapy, working closely with a psychiatrist, and committed to my ongoing treatment. Receiving the scholarship would alleviate the financial burden of graduate education, allowing me to focus on my studies and C-PTSD treatment without distraction. As I navigate the path to recovery, I hold onto the knowledge that my resilience will guide me through, propelling me toward a future where I can make a positive impact while embracing who I am and what I’ve been through.

I would have everyone in the world read How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. No matter what age you are, this book has an emphasis on the idea of leading through influence. You could be the most intelligent person in the room, but if you don't know the art of influence, or your emotional IQ is lacking, it will be a challenge to convince others to listen to what you have to say. It's not about what you say, it's about how you say it. It's not so much about the message that is being delivered as it is about how you deliver it. I have spent my life exploring my personal development and beliefs. Obtaining certifications in Life Coaching and Positive Psychology. What it all comes down to is the idea of being able to connect with others. Success lies in your ability to connect, influence and win the hearts of those around you. With influence comes power. With power comes great responsibility. And with great responsibility comes the chance to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate. Not only does the ability to influence others increase your chance of success, it can benefit both you and the other person greatly. As humans we cannot live without connection to others. The health benefits of sustaining social relationships are essential for a long and happy life. These skills take practice, and it's important to learn. How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie, explains it quite thoroughly and it should be a must-read for everyone!

Growing up in a family with a history of mental health issues and adverse religious experiences was challenging for me. My family members experienced various mental health struggles, including my sister's suicide attempt in junior high school, my mother's undiagnosed borderline personality disorder, and my father's undiagnosed ADHD. Unfortunately, my mother was never diagnosed or treated, my sister was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and my father's ADHD wasn't diagnosed until he was close to retirement. These issues heavily impacted my childhood, making it difficult for me to feel safe and secure at home. By the time I reached adulthood, the weight of my family's struggles had taken a toll on my own mental health. Recently, I received a diagnosis of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), which has provided clarity regarding the lasting effects of the traumatic experiences I endured within my family. This diagnosis has given me insight into the deep-rooted emotional challenges I face and has become a crucial part of my healing journey. Living with these challenges, alongside my recent C-PTSD diagnosis, has given me a unique perspective on the stigma surrounding mental health. I have witnessed firsthand how mental health is still a taboo subject in many communities, where individuals often feel uncomfortable seeking help or sharing their experiences. This lack of awareness and understanding can result in a lack of proper diagnosis and treatment, leading to tragic outcomes such as suicide and neglect. The stigmatization of mental health can also cause individuals to feel shame and guilt about their struggles, exacerbating their symptoms and isolating them further. I have experienced this firsthand within my own family, as mental health issues were not openly discussed, and we struggled in silence. It wasn't until later in my life, with the acknowledgment of my C-PTSD diagnosis, that I fully grasped the impact my family's mental health had on my own well-being. The impact of my mental health experience, including the recent C-PTSD diagnosis, has shaped my goals, relationships, and overall understanding of the world. During my early adulthood, I associated love with intensity and neglect, settling for scraps and believing it was true affection. This unhealthy pattern was deeply ingrained in me due to my upbringing. However, with the awareness brought about by my diagnosis, I have embarked on a journey to rewire these neural pathways and redefine my understanding of healthy relationships. In the past, my aspirations were often determined by what I believed would make my parents or sisters proud, rather than following my own desires. I found myself pursuing their dreams instead of discovering my own. It has taken time and introspection to break free from this pattern. The C-PTSD diagnosis has helped me realize that my own dreams and desires matter, and I am now actively exploring my own passions and goals. My mental health experience, including the recent C-PTSD diagnosis, has not only influenced my objectives and relationships but has also shaped my entire sense of self. Growing up in a volatile environment, I am still in the process of discovering who I am beyond the constraints of my unstable upbringing. Despite the challenges, I am fortunate to have found a healthy and supportive relationship. Although it hasn't been easy, I made a conscious decision to stay and nurture this relationship every day until it felt safe and secure. With my firsthand experience of mental health struggles, including C-PTSD, I am driven to advocate for better understanding and support systems. Mental health issues have become increasingly prevalent in recent years, and it is crucial to address the stigma that prevents individuals from seeking help. I am committed to raising awareness, promoting acceptance, and fostering a more compassionate society that prioritizes mental well-being. Through my own healing journey and my role as a healthcare administrative professional, I aspire to make a positive impact in the lives of those who are struggling with mental health challenges.

As a healthcare administrative professional, and future healthcare leader, I have a responsibility to serve my local community in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and help to make a better future. I am committed to making a positive impact by taking actions that directly benefit the health and well-being of those who are less fortunate and deserving of a better life and a helping hand. One of the ways I am doing this is by volunteering with OpenArms MN, an organization that provides medically tailored meals to individuals and families living with life-threatening illnesses in the Minneapolis area. As an active volunteer, I assist with meal preparation, packaging, and delivery to those in need. By volunteering my time and skills, I am helping to ensure that those facing serious health challenges have access to nutritious meals that support their overall health and well-being. In addition to my work with OpenArms MN, I am also involved in volunteering at St. David’s Center for Child and Family Development, at the Make Them Shine Gala. This annual event raised $680,000 for children's healthcare programs in the Minneapolis area, including medical research, advocacy, and support services for families with sick children. As a volunteer at the gala, I help with event raffle tickets, event set up, and anything that needs to be done during the event, all of which contribute to the success of the fundraiser and the support of children's healthcare in our community. Finally, I also volunteer in the kitchen at People Serving People, a Minneapolis-based organization that provides housing and support services to families experiencing homelessness. As a volunteer, I help prepare and serve meals to those in need, contributing to the organization's mission of ensuring that everyone has access to the basic necessities of life, including food and shelter. As a healthcare administrator, I believe that volunteering and community engagement are essential components of creating a better future for everyone. By getting involved in organizations like OpenArms MN, St. David’s Center for Child and Family Development, and People Serving People, I am able to make a direct impact on the health and well-being of individuals and families in my community. But I also recognize that there are other ways I can serve and advocate for better healthcare policies and services. For example, I can use my position and expertise as a healthcare administrator to advocate for policies that promote better access to healthcare services for all individuals, regardless of their income, race, or geographic location. This might include advocating for increased funding for community health clinics, pushing for changes to insurance policies that make healthcare more affordable and accessible, or working with local and national organizations to promote public health initiatives that improve the health of communities across the country. Another way I can serve my community is by using my skills and knowledge to educate others about health-related issues and ways to stay healthy. This might include giving presentations on topics like healthy eating, exercise, stress management, and disease prevention, or creating educational materials that are accessible to people of all ages and backgrounds. Ultimately, as a healthcare administrator, future healthcare leader, and community volunteer, I am committed to making a positive impact on the health and well-being of my community. Through my work with organizations like OpenArms MN, St. David’s Center for Child and Family Development, and People Serving People, as well as through advocacy, education, and outreach efforts, I am dedicated to helping create a better future for all individuals, families, and communities.

Before I was born I lost my older sister. My parents decided to give her away, as a gift, to the cult they were members of, The Unification Church. They believed that to reach the highest of honors with God, they had to give a child away. My parents were victims, caught in a system where they had no autonomy, blindly following the will of a cult leader enforced by peer pressure. By the time I was born, my parents were shells of themselves, lost in this oppressive religious world. If you ask me, they should have never had children as they were incapable of protecting us. By the time my parents escaped, I was 9 years old and had already lost my innocence, my childhood, and myself. I didn’t remember the terrible things that happened to me and my sisters until I started therapy in my late twenties. It was too much to process at the time and in an attempt to protect itself, my brain had gone into Dissociative amnesia. My family didn’t talk about our past, nor was there any room for questions. On the surface, everything seemed to be fine. But, lingering beneath the surface, a dark secret influenced the way I created my identity. I developed unconscious patterns from this trauma. I avoided men, isolated myself from friends and support groups, occupied myself with unhealthy eating habits, and actively engaged in toxic family dynamics. In hindsight, I spent my early adult years running away from the truth. My first panic attack, in my early twenties, led me on a journey inwards. Something was off and I wanted to understand who I was, and why I was the way I was. On this journey of self-development, I left my entire identity and life behind and started over. I moved back home from New York City, I grieved who I was, and who I dreamed of becoming. I lost everything. I began to pick up the pieces, uncovering long-forgotten and avoided secrets, reliving past pain through the help of neurofeedback therapy. The illusion of a perfect childhood had very quickly disappeared, and the truth left me devastated. When I asked my parents to help me make sense of it they blamed me for telling their secrets. How dare I speak to anybody about their life, and what happened to them. My life wasn’t my own to heal, and it was clear that my parents didn’t care about anything except keeping their truth hidden. I lost my parents through this process. They became strangers, and although I never really knew them, I miss who they once were to me. Not only did I grieve the loss of my entire identity, my childhood, and my stolen innocence, I had to now grieve the loss of my parents. This was the hardest pill to swallow. I went through years of hoping things would change until accepted that my parents suffer from mental illness. They refuse to admit it which means it will go undiagnosed and untreated forever. My siblings and I fought hard to help them, and I fought hard to keep them. Unfortunately, the best decision was to free ourselves from their burden and the guilt that followed. Not long after that, in July of 2021, I lost my uncle, one day after my 31st birthday. His death came as a shock to everyone, ultimately waking me up to the fragility of life and the need for better healthcare systems. I dropped everything to be by my aunt's side, and we grieved our tremendous loss together. The depth of grief can reach far beyond death, and through all the pain I realized you have only two options: 1.) Become bitter and let the pain destroy you, or 2). Let it transform you, make you stronger, and continue moving forward. Now that I’m older and wiser, I have come to understand that loss, grief, and the pain that comes with it are blessings. With every door that closes, there is another waiting to be opened. It’s a choice, and it takes a lot of strength to open that next door and choose to keep moving forward. I take life one day at a time. I have since fallen in love with a great man who supports my healing and my career. And I’ve been accepted into one of the top MHA programs in the nation, where I hope to make healthcare, especially mental health care, more accessible and affordable for everyone. I want to educate others on mental health and reduce the stigma that comes along with it. I will continue to take the pain from my losses and turn them into opportunities to become stronger, and help others.