I am eager to be a nurse as I know that one of my greatest strengths is compassion and taking care of others. I have been taking care of children of all ages for 18 years. I embrace my time with them, striving to be an example they can look up to, and passing along as much knowledge as I can. My greatest family of influence was when I took care of a five-week-old until she was nearly three years old. In my full-time position with that little girl, I was an integral part in teaching her about the world, including how to crawl and walk, using sign language to communicate her needs until she learned how to communicate verbally, and even incorporated Spanish into her language development. I used music and environmental engagement to help her become the precious and smart little girl that she is now. While I am no longer her nanny, I continue to see her on a regular basis and choose to incorporate ways of interaction that can encourage her growth on all levels. I consider my time with this little girl to be one of great achievement and one that I carry with me into my clinicals in nursing school. It is a significant responsibility to spend 45 hours a week with a baby who is growing and learning from every single experience they are encountering. Every moment matters. It required my being present in every moment. My time with her has translated into my time as a student. Both children and education require a lot of time, dedication, and grace. Neither experience is easy and they all come with setbacks. But for each setback, with perseverance in heart, you can know that something greater is about to come your way, making all of the hard work worth the time, energy, and effort. What drives me is taking care of others on any level. I am encouraged when friends and family come to me with medical concerns so that I can help them know how to take care of themselves. In nursing school clinicals, I try to incorporate education into my practice so that my patients can go home with a little extra confidence that they know what appropriate actions to take and when. My most treasured moment in my clinicals was helping a colleague give a patient who had just had surgery a bed bath. She was in excruciating pain. I noticed artwork of a child hanging in her room. She instantly started to tell me all about her grandchildren. Her eyes lit up and it was as if she completely forgot the pain she was in as the bath continued. With the two young girls I nanny now. I love teaching them how their choices (especially in heated moments) impact others. I work with them to be one thought ahead of the next action. My greatest inspiration in life happens to be what drives me: caretaking, empathy, and compassion.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II in 2011. I have struggled to not allow my mental illness to interfere with my education. Being given a diagnosis was an “ah-ha” moment in that years of destructive impulses made sense. In my early-to-mid-twenties, I would end therapy sessions committing to continue living until we met again. I didn’t value my life enough to keep the commitment for myself. My therapist and I were under an agreement that I was making this promise to her until one day I was able to make it for myself. Consistent, high levels of stress are a major trigger for my Bipolar Disorder. In February 2012, I was in the middle of my second semester of nursing school. Between commuting to class, clinicals twice a week, keeping up with schoolwork, and a part-time job, the bipolar disorder took over. I couldn’t promise my therapist that I could keep myself alive. February 2012 was my first psychiatric hospitalization. When I was released from the hospital, I still faced one major barrier to succeeding as a student: the medication I was on impaired my memory. Between my fragile mental health and being unable to retain any information I studied, I felt I had no other choice but to withdraw from nursing school. Devastated, I described it as having my dream in the palm of my hand and having to let it go. I planned to return to school the following semester, but I wasn't mentally well enough yet. It took four years of therapy, many trials with various medications, and another psychiatric hospitalization to become stable enough to have the thought of returning to school. I knew I was ready to return to school when no longer was I making the commitment for my therapist; I was making it for myself. I made the courageous decision to move away from Michigan, where I had lived for 27 years, and move to Indiana to get a fresh start and give nursing school another try. Shortly after I moved to Indiana, I found a therapist to continue my work with. I continue to see her on a weekly basis. I have a psychiatrist who manages my medications and has helped me find medications that do not impact my memory. I see him every three months or on an as-needed basis. I religiously adhere to my medication regimen. Additionally, I work with my school’s Adaptive Educational Services (AES) to permit for an extended absence in the case that I experience a bipolar episode and I need to be hospitalized. During the Spring 2020 semester, I missed a week of classes because I was admitted to a psychiatric unit for suicidal ideations. Thanks to my partnership with AES, I was able to work with my professors and finish the semester with a 3.775 GPA, making the Dean’s List. I’m trying to be smart about how much I‘m working while in nursing school this time. I consistently struggle with the trigger of stress come final exam time. I have focused work with my mental health team during these times to help approach the final exam week and maintain balance in working with the awareness that a bipolar episode may occur. This allows me to have a plan in place to help prevent or help address an episode in order to finish the semester successfully and manage a part-time job. At the end of the Fall 2020 semester, the stress of final exams caused my mood to crash. I was bordering the need to be hospitalized. In this instance, I was able to put my established plan into action, avoid hospitalization, finishing the semester with a 3.885 GPA. I am on track to graduate in May 2022. I plan on doing this by keeping my support system close, including my healthcare providers. I use mindfulness and meditation to keep in touch with my mental status. I also incorporate strict routine in my every day to try to keep things as consistent as possible. My bipolar disorder still sometimes interferes with my education, but I try to always be one step ahead, ready to advocate for myself and fight to succeed with support nearby.

I am eager to be a nurse as I know that one of my greatest strengths is compassion and taking care of others. I have been taking care of children of all ages for 18 years. I embrace my time with them, striving to be an example they can look up to, and passing along as much knowledge as I can. My greatest family of influence was when I took care of a five-week-old until she was nearly three years old. In my full-time position with that little girl, I was an integral part in teaching her about the world, including how to crawl and walk, using sign language to communicate her needs until she learned how to communicate verbally, and even incorporated Spanish into her language development. I used music and environmental engagement to help her become the precious and smart little girl that she is now. While I am no longer her nanny, I continue to see her on a regular basis and choose to incorporate ways of interaction that can encourage her growth on all levels. I consider my time with this little girl to be one of great achievement and one that I carry with me into my clinicals in nursing school. It is a significant responsibility to spend 45 hours a week with a baby who is growing and learning from every single experience they are encountering. Every moment matters. It required my being present in every moment. My time with her has translated into my time as a student. Both children and education require a lot of time, dedication, and grace. Neither experience is easy and they all come with setbacks. But for each setback, with perseverance in heart, you can know that something greater is about to come your way, making all of the hard work worth the time, energy and effort. My passion lies in empowerment. I want to give my patients the tools they need to feel confident that they can pursue good health and good healthcare. The study of all things medical is very complex and overwhelming. Education to patients is vital in order to make taking care of themselves feel doable. A patient needs to be an active part of their healthcare, and I strive to help them understand all the pieces of the puzzle. During clinicals in nursing school, it is my goal to always interact with my patients in a way that includes education. With this education, I hope to instill empowerment in one’s self to care for themselves. I have a focused passion in women’s health. My goal is to work in the obstetrics field of nursing. I aspire to give mothers and families the knowledge they need about what to expect and ways to cope with how overwhelming the pre/intra/postpartum periods can be. I want them to leave the hospital feeling empowered to face whatever challenges come their way with their new little one. Through my obstetrics clinical rotation, I was able to develop connections with professors that will open doors to shadow OB nurses once hospitals allow shadowing again (with COVID, shadowing has been temporarily suspended). I hope to complete my senior semester capstone within the field of obstetrics nursing. Within the community, I want to be part of local committees that address the needs of mothers of lower socioeconomic status and adolescent pregnancies. Every family deserves an equal chance at a life they can thrive in and an equal chance at a safe and healthy delivery. I want to reach out and provide the support mothers of the community need. I want to advocate to make contraception easily available to help prevent teenage pregnancies. I take my education very seriously. I am a 31-year-old non-traditional student seeking my first degree. In the time that I am not nannying for work, I'm dedicated to my studies. I find it to my advantage to be an older student, as I am confident in understanding the ways that I learn best. My overall GPA is 3.863 and I strive to be on the Dean's List each semester. I have achieved this several semesters: Fall 2018, Spring 2019, Spring 2020, and Fall 2020. However, I have also found that grace towards the moments that I do not do as well as I had wanted to is equally as important. After all, I am a student, and I learn how to succeed through trial and error, giving forth my best effort in each course and life lesson.

My final grandparent passed away in September 2020 with my grandmother preceding him in death in 2018. I had the opportunity to speak at both grandparents’ services, but at my grandmother’s service, I spoke specifically of their legacy. I said that legacy has always been a resounding theme to the actions and words of my grandparents. I put legacy in terms of what can we learn from the generations of our family that came before us, and what can be passed on to our next generation? Legacy is a life-long letter written through speech and action, rather than with paper and pen. This “letter” is revealing to those around you what is of importance and how we should live. I defined my grandmother’s legacy as “strong.” I was reflecting on her legacy: that we should live in kindness and in love. That we always put God first and family is important. While the legacy of my grandparents is a positive one, not all legacies are positive. Many cruel leaders and individuals have left legacies of destruction, hate, and bigotry. How we treat others becomes a part of our legacy. How we respond to authority and negativity becomes a part of our legacy. The decisions we make day-to-day may feel so very insignificant, but when we combine our day-to-day actions into a story, we tell of our legacy. I hope that I leave behind a story worth telling and trying to live up to. I am 31-years-old and hopefully have much life left to live. But even at such a young age, I still am mindful of how my decisions are impacting others and what message am I telling the world. I have been a nanny to young children for 18 years. I am always aware of what lessons my actions and speech are teaching them. I am constantly trying to be an example worth following. My goal is that my legacy would be one of acceptance and love. Above all else, kindness is what is most important to me. As a Christian, I was raised to believe that everyone deserves kindness. That even those who are evil, and an enemy do not deserve rudeness and rejection, but kindness. Kindness matters most when it is most difficult to be kind. When kindness is your constant objective, it gives gossip a poor taste in your mouth. It leaves sly remarks with regret. I don’t have to agree with someone’s life decision in order to be kind to them. I would hope that as my life continues, that kindness to everyone would be second nature and evident to all. Legacy is an important concept to pay attention to in the here and now. Not one of us has any idea when our time on earth will be over. All that will be left of those who are gone are the memories of who they were as a person and what things did they find it important to say. Every day we are building a legacy. It’s not something that only the older population creates and defines. With every choice that’s made, a metaphorical block is placed on our tower of legacy. Nothing we say or do is insignificant when we are creating our legacy.

In relationships and goals, the most important thing that mental illness has taught me is grace. Grace for myself when I don’t do as well as I had hoped or when I fall short of a goal. Grace for the moments when I want to kick myself for the words that just came out of my mouth. And grace for those around me who are indubitably facing a battle that I may know nothing about. Not everyone around me has been in therapy for over half of their life as I have, and therefore not everyone can be as introspective as I am as a result of how therapy has molded me to think. Because of my mental illness, I am always urging my friends and family to give themselves permission to stop constantly trying to be the best or to give themselves permission to simply take a break. With or without a mental illness, life can be really hard at times. Society around us says that the world must keep spinning regardless of our state of mind. And while it may be true that the world keeps going around us, any given person is allowed to say “stop” and take a rest for themselves. This is a significant lesson that mental illness has taught me. Sometimes people just need someone to give them permission to stop. I am here for them to be that person when needed. Mental illness has taught me how to be a better support to my friends and family in this way. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II in 2011 at the age of 21. Consistent, high levels of stress are a major trigger for my Bipolar Disorder. I have struggled to not allow my mental illness to interfere with my education and career goals. In February 2012, I was in the middle of my second semester of nursing school. The stress of nursing school took over and I experienced a bipolar episode. February 2012 was my first psychiatric hospitalization. My mental health was fragile, and I felt that I had no other choice than to withdraw from nursing school. Devastated, I described it as having my dream in the palm of my hand and having to let it go. I planned to return to school the following semester, but I wasn't mentally well enough yet. It took four years of therapy, many trials with various medications, and another psychiatric hospitalization to become stable enough to have the thought of returning to school. My goal of graduating with my friends in May 2014 was long thrown out the window. I learned that goals should not be made with such rigidity. You never know what’s going to happen on a given day; life requires flexibility and that includes the goals we set for ourselves. Here in January 2021, I’m entering my 6th semester of nursing school, finding the path to success one day at a time. Nursing school is stressful and therefore often makes my mood unstable. My mental illness can be a barrier throughout the semester, but I never take “no” for an answer. I want to urge those who are struggling to take charge of their wellbeing. For me, that means in order to continue in school, that I have to work with a therapist and a psychiatrist while taking classes. It means that prior to school, I had to work to learn how my disorder manifests itself in me. I’ve learned warning signs and triggers and how I can best be helped during harder times. I have focused work with my mental health team during unstable times to be able to approach the semester with the awareness that a bipolar episode may occur. This allows me to have a plan in place to help prevent or help address an episode in order to finish the semester successfully. Mental illness has taught me that life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans (as quoted by John Lennon). My understanding of the world is that it is not to be understood but rather experienced. If I am so stuck in my head analyzing everything happening to me, life passes me by, and I am hindered from living in the moment and experiencing life around me. I am prevented from truly living. While my career goals lie within nursing school, my ultimate goal is to live life in the moment. I want to live like everything is happening for me instead of happening to me. For several years, Bipolar Disorder had me believing that living life with the mindset of being a victim of my mental illness is the only way to live. But to be honest, I cannot fathom who I would be without my mental illness. Surely, I would not have the strength and determination that I do now. Those traits are developed rather than being innate. I no longer believe that I am a victim; I know that I am a survivor.

I am 31 years old and have been battling some form of mental illness since I was 13. There’s no doubt that mental illness has shaped every part of who I am. It has defined the world as I know it to be now. In relationships and goals, the most important thing that mental illness has taught me is grace. Grace for myself when I don’t do as well as I had hoped or when I fall short of a goal. Grace for the moments when I want to kick myself for the words that just came out of my mouth. And grace for those around me who are indubitably facing a battle that I may know nothing about. Not everyone around me has been in therapy for over half of their life and therefore not everyone can be as introspective that therapy has molded me to be. Because of my mental illness, I am always urging my friends and family to give themselves permission to stop constantly trying to be the best or to give themselves permission to simply take a break. With or without a mental illness, life can be really hard at times. Society around us says that the world must keep spinning regardless of our state of mind. And while it may be true that the world keeps going around us, any given person is allowed to say “stop” and take a rest for themselves. Sometimes people just need someone to give them permission to stop. I am here for them to be that person when needed. Mental illness has taught me how to be a better support to my friends and family in this way. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II in 2011 at the age of 21. Consistent, high levels of stress are a major trigger for my Bipolar Disorder. I have struggled to not allow my mental illness to interfere with my education and career goals. In February 2012, I was in the middle of my second semester of nursing school. The stress of nursing school took over and I experienced a bipolar episode. February 2012 was my first psychiatric hospitalization. I planned to return to school the following semester, but I wasn't mentally well enough yet. It took four years of therapy, many trials with various medications, and another psychiatric hospitalization to become stable enough to have the thought of returning to school. My goal of graduating with my friends in May 2014 was long thrown out the window. I learned that goals should not be made with such rigidity. You never know what’s going to happen on a given day; life requires flexibility and that includes the goals we set for ourselves. Here in January 2021, I’m entering my 6th semester of nursing school, finding the path to success one day at a time. Nursing school is stressful and therefore often makes my mood unstable. My mental illness can be a barrier throughout the semester, but I never take “no” for an answer. I want to urge those who are struggling to take charge of their wellbeing. For me, that means in order to continue in school, that I have to work with a therapist and a psychiatrist simultaneously. It means that prior to school I had to work to learn how my disorder manifests itself in me. I’ve learned warning signs and triggers and how I can best be helped during harder times. I have focused work with my mental health team during unstable times to be able to approach the semester with the awareness that a bipolar episode may occur. This allows me to have a plan in place to help prevent or help address an episode in order to finish the semester successfully. Mental illness has taught me that life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans (as quoted by John Lennon). My understanding of the world is that it is not to be understood but rather experienced. If I am so stuck in my head analyzing everything happening to me, life passes me by, and I am hindered from living in the moment and experiencing life around me. I am prevented from truly living. While my career goals lie within nursing school, my ultimate goal is to live life in the moment. I want to live like everything is happening for me instead of happening to me. For several years, Bipolar Disorder had me living life with the mindset of being a victim of my mental illness. But to be honest, I cannot fathom who I would be without my mental illness. Surely, I would not have the strength and determination that I do now. Those traits are developed rather than being innate. No, I am not a victim; I am a survivor.

Nursing school is not for the faint of heart. It’s rigorous and challenges students. Bipolar disorder is not for the faint of heart. It takes you through extreme highs and lows, leaving you begging for mercy. In 2012, I was in my second semester of nursing school. I had to drop out. I was hospitalized for a bipolar episode brought on by school stressors. Through a lot of therapy and medication trial and error, I wasn’t ready to return to nursing school until 2018. The amount of time passed hadn’t been my timeline for returning to classes, but my mental illness had its own plans. It’s my mission to give hope to anyone living with a debilitating mental illness while trying to achieve dreams. I want to live as an example for others. There’s a lot of trial and error, a lot of facing brick walls. Those are the challenges that eventually bring you to success. They are only a “no” if you choose to accept “no” for an answer. I’m entering my 6th semester of nursing school, finding the path to success. My bipolar disorder is easily triggered by stress; nursing school is stressful. My mental illness can be a barrier throughout the semester, but I never take “no” for an answer. I want to urge those who are struggling to take charge of your wellbeing. For me, that means that I work with a therapist and a psychiatrist. I’ve learned how my disorder manifests itself. I’ve learned warning signs and triggers and how I can best be helped during harder times. I want to be walking proof to someone with a mental illness that if I can do this, so can you. Your mental illness may mess up your ideal plan, but you can still make it to your goal. Never let the mental illness define you. Only you define you. Muster up some strength, get ready for a bumpy road, but never lose hope that one day you will arrive where you want to be.

I was 13 years old when my five-year battle with anorexia began. I know the darkest depths of self-hatred as a result. It was through a rehabilitation program at 18 years old that I began to understand the concept of self-love. It never came easily, but I am not one who easily gives up. Within my belief system, I believe that I am one of a kind, I am chosen, and I am loved. I still have days where I struggle with self-acceptance. But my faith provides the security that I am accepted and loved exactly how I am at any given moment, even when I don't feel it. This goes for everyone around me as well. Self-acceptance has played a major role in comparison within my relationships. I used to always be so critical of how I was different from others in personality and physical appearance. I've held a lot of self-consciousness in my hands (and sometimes still do). But it is my friends and family who come around me and help quiet my distorted thinking. My support system loves me as I am. With this in mind, I don't need to compare myself to anyone else. I am free to be as I am. In this way, I can add to the quality of life of others. Self-love and acceptance change one's thought process and therefore their reactions. This allows for grace when I make mistakes instead of a path of harsh self-criticism. I am eager to be a nurse. I know that one of my greatest strengths is compassion and taking care of others. I have been taking care of children of all ages for 18 years. I embrace my time with them, striving to be an example they can look up to, and passing along as much knowledge as I can. My greatest family of influence was when I took care of a five-week-old until she was nearly three years old. Young eyes are always watching, so it was a constant goal to be someone the little girl could look up to. This included practices of self-love and acceptance. I wanted to set an example for her and by doing that consistently, it became a genuine and integral part of who I am. Nursing is a field that requires a lot of confidence. The lives of others rest in my hands when under my care. I want my patients to know that I am taking care of them because I believe their life is of value. In order for this to be a genuine way of life, I have to believe that my life is of value. Nursing requires self-love and self-acceptance in that I cannot express true compassion unless I believe everyone is deserving of love and acceptance, including myself. Most importantly, when they feel those things for themselves, they may find the strength and confidence to pursue their own wellness. Through living out and teaching self-love and acceptance, I will be a great nurse.