I would trade every electronic I have ever owned if I could go back and rewatch Cabaret for the first time. I lived in the middle of nowhere, Idaho, still do, and I was bored out of mind, as most people in Idaho are. I was scrolling through movies to watch, and I saw movies under "because you watched Chicago." I was planning on taking a nap anyway, so sure, what's a few minutes of some 1920s themed singing and dancing? Except it was a little bit different from an average show that was taking place in the 1920's. It was in Germany, during the rise of Hitler. Watching this show didn't immediately change my life. I really liked the music and the plot, and the point of this movie, but so many things didn't click until the fourth time watching it. My favorite thing that I realized was that at the end, the screen faces a mirror that is pointing at the audience. It is pretty open to interpretation, but how most people took it is that the characters in the movie, who were negatively impacted because they chose to ignore the warnings of the nazi party, could very well be us. No one is immune to propaganda, and as the audience laughed at certain jokes during the movie, specifically during the "cabaret" part were not paying attention to how it was propaganda and the audience was falling for it. I didn't just stop at the movie; I learned there was a Broadway musical, so I watched that, and dare I say it was even better than the movie. The one I watched had Alan Cummning who really made the character "M/C" his own. The ending was less open to interpretation, with all of the characters talking about their fate, with the ending being the M/C opening his coat to reveal a striped suit with the Star of David. I also didn't just stop at the musical, found that Cabaret was inspired by a book that was written by author Christopher Isherwood, who was a queer man in 1920s Berlin, and the book he wrote called "Good-bye to Berlin," A semi autobiographical book about his experience and ultimate decision to leave Berlin. I fell inlove with this author reading Goodbye to Berlin, A Single Man, and my favorite Mr. Norris Changes Trains. Although my facination of the musical ended around here, the influence it had on me did not. On a long car ride, I was listening to David Bowie's Heroes album when his song "Sons of the Silent Age" started playing. As I listened to the song, I picked up on a reference to Mr. Norris Changes Trains. Heroes was written in an album trilogy called "The Berlin Trilogy," and as it turns out, David Bowie was influenced by the works of Christopher Isherwood and many other artists. I decided to research more books that Bowie references, and it turned out he wrote an entire album on the book 1984. He originally wanted to make a musical of it, but couldn't get the rights. When I got back from the car trip I was on, I made a stop to Barnes and Nobel and bought 1984 and analayzed it while listening to the "Diamond dogs" which is the album that had multiple songs about 1984, reading these books not only made me more educated in political topics but gave me opionions that differed from peers around me and made me more aware of antisemitism around me and modern day propaganda, and I give credit to the movie "Cabaret."

In the book Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, we see how one kind deed can change the course of many lives. I always wished I could influence someone like that. I never even thought of the possibility of me being the one influenced. I felt like I was too unimportant to be more than a pawn to someone greaters story, but halfway through Junior year, 3 minutes changed me, saved me, and gave me meaning "I am sorry to see you go. I hope this new school has what you are looking for. What do you plan to do after high school?" God, why does everyone always wonder about that? Fortunately, so many people asked me about this that I gave them an answer that they expected to hear from a student with a 2.2 GPA. "Probably the Military, I'm thinking the army," I say this lie so naturally that I almost believe it. Truth be told, I don't think I'll be around after high school. I was sleeping through and failing classes. I knew college was not an option; I saw my future, and it wasn't bright. "Go to college; it would be a waste if you didn't." Eleven words, two seconds, one sentence, and I have changed into a whole new person. One person believed in me. I had someone who not only saw that I could do well, but expected me to. Around 5th grade, everyone gave up on me. Some thought I was stupid, some thought I was lazy. No one even wondered if I potentially had a learning disability. But one person I knew for 3 months saw something in me. This moment was my silver candlestick in Les Misérables. The second I left the classroom, I decided that I was going to be a teacher, and I was going to make people feel like they matter. 40%-60% of students struggle with mental health, but not all of them will receive help. Sometimes, when drowning, the victim can't scream for help. Some students who are defiant, unreliable, apathetic, or addicted are not just losers; many of them are struggling. I am torn on where I want to teach. I love elementary schoolers, but most mental health struggles hit around puberty and worsen with age. I feel called to work with high schoolers. If there is a teenager out there who has given up on themselves because they feel like everyone else has given up on them, I want to be there to let them know that I haven't. One other thing I am passionate about is ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD 3 months ago, and I have started excelling in school after I started treatment. Nearly 2 million children with ADHD do not receive treatment, and when you are under the impression that your struggle is non-existent, it's easy to give up. I want to learn specifically how to help students with learning disabilities. That way, I can help students who just think they're broken when they are just differently-abled. If I can even change one kid's life, make them feel heard, my mission will be complete. When I was in that situation, one sentence was all it took to change me. One person who believed in me is the reason I boosted my gpa. One person is the reason I am writing this essay. One person is the reason I am here. If I can be that one person for someone who was in my position, I will be.

I am starting off this essay differently from others. I am starting off with an introduction: Hello! My name is Kristen, and I am a senior at Lewiston High School in the middle of nowhere, Lewiston, Idaho. I have lived in many different places in Washington, Idaho, and Florida. I have gone to 6 different highschools but I'm sure I am graduating from here. As someone who moves around a lot, as you can imagine, it gets very lonely; every deep connection I have made doesn't last. Now that I am living somewhere long-term, I feel like the only people close to me are my family. Family is very important to me, I do a lot with my sister, my dad, and his Girlfriend (hopefully soon-to-be fiancée). Something that I do a lot with is helping out. My family volunteers at a elks lodge, which is kind of like a club, but it has a lot of military activities. I have volunteered at more events there than I can count. I have cooked, cleaned, served, bussed, moved, and decorated everything I possibly can. I enjoy the community the Elks Lodge has, and I enjoy doing things with my family. My first Volunteer experience was in 5th grade during Thanksgiving. My family has never had a lot of money, and we heard about a place in the town over hosting a Thanksgiving for low-income families, but instead of eating, we served food. Although I was young, I didn't feel like I was robbed of anything; I felt good for helping out. Out of the many churches I've been too Ive also volunteered for anything they needed help with, even if it was my first time. I have babysat at many vacation bible schools, youth groups, or just if a mother needs a second to herself. If I have free time, that could help someone else in need Ill do it. When I lived in Florida, I participated in JROTC. If they needed help, I would make sure I was there. I one time walked 2 hours at 4 am in Tampa to get to the location where they needed help setting up because my mom wasn't able to take me, and I signed up. I would stay at all-day events and push through illness or heat exhaustion to make sure I completed what they needed me to do. I also have a passion for the homeless. Ever since I was little, I was disgusted when people would blame homeless people for their situation. When I was little, my mom was homeless; my entire family lived in a one-bedroom trailer with my grandparents, and she worked 3 jobs. When I would leave work, I would make sure to grab some leftover food and give it to some homeless people either at the bus stop or at the park on my way home. If I could start a charity, I would want to give out coats to homeless people in Alaska. Tons of homeless people cannot afford a coat and spend it on alcohol to keep themselves warm. If I start a charity, I would like to do bake sales, auctions, carnivals, and then use the money to buy coats for the homeless in Alaska in hopes of a warmer winter

Being poor in Idaho is one thing; being poor in Tampa is a completely different experience. My biggest issue in Idaho was needing to microwave my shampoo that had frozen due to the extreme cold. My biggest issue in Florida became staying alive. I never really realized we were low-income. I thought we just chose to live in a one-bedroom trailer. I thought my mom just really liked Hamburger Helper. I first realized we were poor when I was in 5th grade. The school I went to was a charter school so we had to pay for our field trip. We got the opportunity to go skiing, I was so excited. I asked my mom if I could go. She looked at the form and said, "sorry honey, money is tight." When I first moved to Tampa, I went on a walk. I wanted to see a aligator for the first time. Then I heard 2 gunshots. I ran back home and told my mom's boyfriend, all he said was "welcome to Florida." Public schools were divided into sections. We were able to go to a different school, but we had to get there ourselves, which left kids like me, whose parents couldn't afford the time to take them to and from school, stuck at their neighborhood school. Low income neighborhood means low income school. The first thing I noticed when I got to the high school was that the heat inside the school was just as suffocating as it was outside. Learned pretty quickly that the school hasnt had AC for over a year. The schooling there was easy; there was no homework. They practically told us the answers, but still, no one really seemed to be doing well. I felt comfortable knowing that even though I was dying of heat, I would be able to get good grades, despite not having the classes I wanted to take as options or much of a acedemic challenege. When waiting for lunch, I'd sit at the table and hope a fight would happen. I didn't want to risk getting touched inappropriately in line, which happened sometimes when girls stood alone. If a fight happened, everyone would run to it, and the line would get significantly shorter You never get used to lockdowns due to kids sneaking weapons or stabbings in the bathroom, or hearing about classmates getting arrested. One thing I especially never got used to was hearing about classmates who commit suicide. Especially when you take into account that it was likely because of their situation. Even though I am back in Idaho now, it is something I can never forget. I also never got used to how we were talked about. One time in the office, I heard the staff talk about how they wish they didn't have to help the students, that the students who would get into fights would tire themselves out, the students giving up would just drop out, and the students experimenting with drugs would succumb to natural selection. I want to become a teacher, specifically for high schoolers. I started to do well because I had one teacher who believed in me, and it changed my life. I think back to the leader in JROTC who shot someone, the student who stabbed someone over a weed cart, the freshman who decided this life wasn't worth living, and I think, if they had one person who believed in them, would things go differently? I want to be a teacher because I was in their situation. I want them to know someone believes in them.

I never thought something was wrong with me; I thought there was something wrong with my peers. It took me a long time to realize that maybe not everyone wants to hear about the Vietnam War or talk about different economic systems. Maybe it was my dad's fault for always challenging my political and historical claims that would make me so passionate about debate, history, and government. Or maybe it's my purpose I have ADHD; my parents just thought I was lazy. I could not tell you about what we learned in class, but I would be more than happy to talk about any of the French Revolutions. They assumed I had a selective attention span, but what was really happening is I became hyper-fixated on history, but I like to say that I found my passion. Life has definitely not been the easiest for me. I never had the best grades, and my family was more concerned about how to pay the rent than my college. I completely gave up on the idea of college and barely cared about school; the only classes I have never once fallen asleep in are history, government, and military history. Eventually, I accepted that student debt might be the way to go because I did not want to become another statistic. I found my passion for teaching from a teacher who inspired me by letting me know he believed in me. Having one person believe in me changed my life, and I was ready to take on the loans, knowing that life is not all about money. I would feel fulfilled if I could influence at least one kid. I didn't know exactly what I would do, but I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I am shocked at how long it took me to realize I wanted to be a history teacher. It was always an option, but I thought of it the same way I thought of being an actor when I was a little girl. When I think of work, I don't think of anything fun; it just never felt like an option for me. I considered being a government teacher for a while; government is one of my passions, but nothing could ever compare to history. During senior year, in AP english we were required to write a research paper that would take many months to write. As soon as I learned we got to choose our topic, I zoned out. I pulled up the rubric and started writing about Vietnam War protest music, when the teacher got to my table, he asked me how Vietnam War protest music related to my future career. Having no idea I had to do it for our future career, I thought of where I first got my passion for history. "History teacher," two words, and I saw my life play out in front of me. Not only will I get the opportunity to influence kids, but I will get to do something I love every day. Before I had the passion to be a teacher, I had no passion in life. I was failing, abusing Benadryl, and was asleep more hours of the day than I was awake. It only took one person to tell me that if I didn't go to college, it would be "a waste," and my entire life turned around. With this scholarship, I could be able to live comfortably in college, I could be professionally educated about my passion, and most importantly, I could fulfill my purpose of helping students who are like me.

"Rape, Murder, it's just a shot away, it's just a shot away." I felt chills go through my body as I watched the lyrics of a song I knew so well come across the screen. History of Rock and Roll was easily my favorite class, closely followed by History itself. But this day was more important than others; this day, we were going over Vietnam War protest music. The video paused, like usual, and there was a thick silence after the song played, but this time it was different. Instead of asking the class what we would rate the song, like Mr. Hoogstein usually does, He asked what we thought it was about. Everyone agreed on it being about war, but I had no idea this was going to rope us into a unit about Vietnam War protest music. While half the class was falling asleep during Peter, Paul, and Mary's "Where Have All the Flowers Gone," I was on the edge of my seat. After class, I would ask questions about the song and its history. This led to me asking questions about various American wars, sitting away from my friends to focus on history class, and a deep hunger to learn everything I possibly can about history. I was interested in history before, but this started a whole new obsession. I would spend hours researching the Vietnam War and its effects on both Vietnam and America. I loved history so much that when I switched to a charter school, I asked to retake US history instead of a late start for school. I scored the highest on the state history test in my grade and would offer to do people's history homework or take over group projects, history wasn't just my intrest it became my hobby. I wanted to be a teacher for a while, but I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I have thought about being a history teacher, but in the same way, kids want to be an actor or singer. It never fully clicked that I could do my dream job until my senior year. In the state of Idaho, you are required to do some sort of senior project, and at my school, all of the AP English kids were required to do a research paper. Our teacher gave us the class period to come up with a topic we would like to research, and by the time he got to me, I already had a paragraph done. When he asked me how Vietnam War protest music related to my future career, I was unaware that it had to relate to a future career, so I quickly came up with one. "History teacher," and as soon as it came out of my mouth, I decided this was my purpose. I want to be a teacher to inspire children and help them grow. Specifically, I want to be a history teacher because I can spend every moment of my life doing what I love. I want to encourage kids the same way the "Gimme Shelter" music video did to me. I want to introduce kids to topics that they will spend hours, days, months, and even their entire lives, fascinated and educating themselves on. Just like how the Gulf of Tonkin incident started the Vietnam War - whether it was a misunderstanding, a scheme, or a raid - I want to start something in others that is powerful. I want to encourage kids to love history as much as I do and to continue to spread their love to other people.

In the book Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, we see how one kind deed can change the course of many lives. I always wished I could influence someone like that. I never even thought of the possibility of me being the one influenced. I felt like I was too unimportant to be more than a pawn to someone greaters story, but halfway through Junior year, 3 minutes changed me, saved me, and gave me meaning "I am sorry to see you go. I hope this new school has what you are looking for. What do you plan to do after high school?" God, why does everyone always wonder about that? I was switching schools, and I had to get my transcript signed off by all my teachers. I was sad to say goodbye to my favorite teacher, Mr williams, but now I wish I just forged it like I did my biology teacher. Fortunately, so many people asked me about this that I gave them an answer that they expected to hear from a student with a 2.2 GPA. "Probably the Military, I'm thinking the army," I say this lie so naturally that I almost believe it. Truth be told, I don't think I'll be around after high school. I was sleeping through and failing classes. It truly was a miracle I wasn't addicted to something. I knew college was not an option, pretty much everyone told me that a secretary desk had my name on it, and all I can picture past being 18 is falling off the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. "Go to college; it would be a waste if you didn't." Eleven words, two seconds, one sentence, and I have changed into a whole new person. One person believed in me. I had someone who not only saw that I could do well, but expected me to. Around 5th grade, everyone gave up on me. Some thought I was stupid, some thought I was lazy. No one even wondered if I potentially had a learning disability. But one person I knew for 3 months saw something in me. This moment was my silver candlestick in Les Misérables. The second I left the classroom, I decided that I was going to be a teacher. Not a second more was there uncertainty or a moment of doubt. I knew I was going to be a teacher, and I was going to make people feel like they matter. 40%-60% of students struggle with mental health, but not all of them will receive help. Sometimes, when drowning, the victim can't scream for help. Some students who are defiant, unreliable, apathetic, or addicted are not just losers; many of them are struggling. My dream is to change peoples lifes like how my life was changed. As someone who was looked down on by multiple teachers and even guardians for my poor performance, I know what it's like. If I could make everyone aware of these struggles, I could, unforutnately theres no magic button to fix that, but change has to start somewhere. I am torn on where I want to teach. I love elementary schoolers, but most mental health struggles hit around puberty and worsen with age. I feel called to work with high schoolers. If there is a teenager out there who has given up on themselves because they feel like everyone else has given up on them, I want to be there to let them know that I haven't. One other thing I am passionate about is ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD 3 months ago, and I have started excelling in school after I started treatment. Nearly 2 million children with ADHD do not receive treatment, and when you are under the impression that your struggle is non-existent, it's easy to give up. I want to learn specifically how to help students with learning disabilities. That way, I can help students who just think they're broken when they are just differently-abled. If I can even change one kid's life, make them feel heard, my mission will be complete. My final part of my dream is low-income. I don't come from money by anymeans, and at one point I lived in a one-bedroom trailer with 7 people. When I lived in Florida, I went to a school that had a majority of students being low income. Most of the teachers did not care about our well-being. One time in the office, I heard the staff talk about how they wish they didn't have to help the students, that the students who would get into fights would tire themselves out, the students giving up would just drop out, and the students experimenting with drugs would succumb to natural selection. Children and people with less privilege are not more or less of a human than anyone else. Families living in low-income areas are more likely to have substance issues and mental health problems, and are less likely to afford treatment. When I was in that situation, one sentence was all it took to change me. One person who believed in me is the reason I boosted my gpa. One person is the reason I am writing this essay. One person is the reason I am here. If I can be that one person for someone who was in my position, I will be. That is my dream.

"You're not stupid, you just need to apply yourself." I am so sick of hearing that. For 18 years, I've gone back and forth between being ridiculed over my constant failures and told I could be "so smart". I first heard of ADHD in the 5th grade, my teacher pulled me into a corner to take a test because I never finished if there was an opportunity to "people watch." There was a poster for symptoms of ADHD, and everything felt like it clicked. Maybe I am not stupid, maybe I just need help. I told my mom about it, and she immediately shut me down, saying I just needed to apply myself. I kept bringing it up, but nothing happened. As I got older, I got angrier. Sure, I was always seen as a moody, tantrum-throwing child, but now I was a defiant, impulsive teenager. When getting Angry or Sad I would act out, I would throw things, destroy my room, hurt myself, scream, cry, shout, all that good stuff. Now, because my symptoms were affecting my parents, they were more eager to find out what was wrong with me. Granted, it didn't even cross their mind that this could be ADHD. I went to therapy, and they talked about maybe bipolar, but what it sounded like from my parents: I was just being a bratty teenager. I was academically doing "okay," I had a 2.2 GPA, which, although not amazing, I would probably graduate. Still, I was constantly compared to my sisters and peers. My life sucked. I would go to school and sleep through every class. Every time my parents would talk about my future, I wanted nothing more than to disappear. I didn't believe I had a future; I thought that I was going to become a statistic. I started taking Benadryl to sleep and, eventually, to make me high just to think of something other than my failures. I became very careless, just trying to make the best of the situation I was in until my junior year. I moved to Florida with my mom. I went to a school where the majority of students where low income. Education became much easier. The expectations being lower helped, but one other person helped. Mr Williams. My Geometry teacher. I hated math more than any other class out there. I was a year behind because I failed and barely passed my second year, but for some reason, he was convinced I could do well. Every day, he would help specifically me with math and explain it in a way that caught my attention. He allowed me to have noise-canceling earbuds on, and I went from hanging on to my math credit to an A. When I went to switch schools, while singing my transfer paper, he asked me what I wanted to do in life. I told him the military, which is what I told everyone. But truth be told, I was expecting that I wouldn't be around after high school. He then told me it would be a waste and I should go to college. He said I was smart and he thought I was going to do great things. Now I am back in Idaho, I am 18, diagnosed and medicated for ADHD. I nearly have straight A's, and I'm excelling in math. I am writing an essay for college and want to go into education. I want every kid with ADHD to know they're not stupid and unlock their full potential. In the same way Mr. Williams helped me, I want to help others.