Being part of the LGBTQ+ has provided a unique sense of community with those around me. While I sometimes find myself struggling or facing harassment for my identity it has also opened me up to a world of amazing people who support each other. I am Panromantic Asexual and assigned female at birth however identify as nonbinary with masculine pronouns and presentation. I have many times faced harassment at work and school due to my identity and presentation. It hasn't been easy and mental health has taken a toll over the years, especially as I was in denial for a very long time regarding who I was. After coming out to those around me who are supportive I found myself in a community of kindness and warmth. Binding tips, healthy coping mechanisms, support groups, and more as we are a community of individuals always willing to help one another. I couldn't, and wouldn't, have asked to be anything more than what I am. As of right now, I am fighting my way through college struggling with loans, and debt, paying tuition out of pocket without much help from others and seeking scholarships so I can continue to pursue a career in the business world. I am looking to major in communications and minor in business administration, striving for a career in creative marketing and advertisement. I have always loved the business world but am constantly looked down on, compared to others, and told I won't make it because of who I am and because I choose to express myself openly and honestly. Any help I can get to cover the costs of college to prove those who try to put me down wrong is highly appreciated and accepted with grace. Alongside studying I try to raise money through commissioning artwork and working a part-time job to maximize my chances of success. I pride myself on being outgoing and willing to market myself to others as it is a trait of great importance to me. I would love to be able to have my own business however gaining followers has been a struggle, even with the help of my amazing friends. I want to strive to be the best that I can be and go as far as possible, pushing myself harder and harder every day to accomplish my goals. There are many who wish me failure due to who I am and the community in which I take pride, however, I refuse to let harsh words, discrimination, and financial struggles discourage me from fighting for what I want. I will continue to be who I am openly, truthfully, and honestly and give my field of choice that representation, even if I get knocked down a thousand times over before ever reaching a position in the office. I will face rejection and challenge and use it as strength and refuse to dull my personality for the benefit of those who are unsupportive and hateful. The last thing I want is to have to drop out of my college due to financial stress. Currently attending Christopher Newport University my tuition is 30,518 annually with room and board included in that equation as there is a three-year residency requirement. Very little is covered by loans and this year posed challenges that have resulted in losing grants as I am just two class credits short of being classified as a Junior, where I should be, meaning out o pocket costs for my fall semester would be around 13,000 that I cannot afford to pay on my own and would force me to drop out.

My mental health has always had an effect on my motivation. Self-harm and anxiety are real and hard to cope with most of the time. It's especially hard growing up in a home that doesn't believe in medicating or diagnosing mental disorders. With all the obstacles I have been presented within life however I have used it to not drag me down but to raise me higher. I battle my social anxiety but taking classes that require me to talk and present. I battle general anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and much more but using the free resources I have access to. I channel my poor mental health and incorporate it into writing, drawing, and working. I use what is supposed to be a disorder to better myself as a person. It takes more work and my steps may seem small to an average outsider however it is necessary that you use mental health to your advantage. It has certainly put me in a bad place where I couldn't leave my bed, eating was hard, and getting work done was nearly impossible, but I used those times to push myself further and further and further. My mental health has forced me to look at myself and push harder than many of those I know. I also believe that normalizing, supporting, and speaking out against the romanticization of mental illness is necessary for the current day and age. I try to use my social media platforms to speak up for those who have all types of mental illness. It is extremely important to me that we all spread awareness about trauma, anxiety, depression, bipolar personality disorders, and everything else under the sun. Everyone deserves a voice, a chance to be heard, and someone with open ears, open hearts, and open minds to listen. Not just hear them, but listen truly and deeply. As far as relationships go it has instilled in me the belief that all the majority of people need is patience and someone who is willing to not give up on them when things get hard. As someone who has been abandoned, hurt, verbally attacked, and more because of my poor mental health, I see it as not optional, but a requirement that those who come into my life have at least one person to be a stable form of support ready and willing to offer a shoulder to cry on. A support system is the first time in being able to push yourself further than your mental health would typically allow, and because of this I tend to try and offer as much advice, help, and support as I possibly can to everyone in my life no matter how little or small. Everyone struggles with mental health, no human is perfect or happy all the time. We all suffer stress, anxiety, and depression, some more than others, but kindness and patience are necessary to advance the world and make meaningful true connections. My special interests are business, psychology, and communications and I do truly believe that all of these, and incorporating them into my career goals of marketing, give me ideal opportunities to spread awareness and help others, even if only just a little bit.

I have learned that it is necessary to not stress over the things that seem detrimental. At the moment it's going to suck, it may push you back or make goals seem unattainable but take a deep breath, soak in your surroundings, breath, and try again. If you find yourself struggling, drowning, or losing your passion then let it go. Look at it from a new point of view, reroute, and try again later. It will get passed, even if it's not the way you thought it would go. Adjust and recognize it isn't over and when you get back into it you'll be stronger and more prepared. I recently had this situation in regards to my major and my social life both. I kept clinging to a pathway and people that weren't doing me any good. Trying to pursue something I can't wrap my head around was causing me to lose passion for a field I love, as a result, I chose to redirect my focus into a different major in the same field and minor in Business instead. My long-term goal of becoming a creative marketing director hasn't changed, just the path I'm taking to get there and the people I choose to surround me for support.