In a world burdened by a rising tide of mental health challenges, my decision to devote my career to this critical field feels like a pressing calling. My path to pursuing a doctorate in psychology was nurtured over the years by profound personal experiences, academic pursuits, and a growing commitment to improving society. Four pivotal moments give nuance to my mission. My grandmother's battle with schizophrenia, my brother's struggle with identity while growing up in a religious household, the heart-wrenching stories of parents struggling for their differently-abled children, and the tragic loss of a childhood friend to mental health complications. These experiences sharpened my focus and expanded the scope of my mission, pulling me into a field that combines psychology, design, and technology to make mental health accessible to all.
Growing up, my grandmother battled with schizophrenia, a debilitating mental illness that is often misunderstood and stigmatized. Witnessing her struggle, I understood that mental health is more than a clinical term; it's a human experience filled with complexity and nuance. My grandmother's delusions were her reality. She would often mumble to herself and the entities of her imagination that promised her financial prosperity. As a child, her mother abandoned and neglected her in favor of her step-brother. Boys have significance over girls in Chinese family culture as boys can continue the family name. My grandmother's lifelong anguish was palpable even though she lived continents away in Hong Kong. Medications, religious institutions, and healthcare practitioners came by at the behest of my mother, a psychologist. Yet, it was the absence of empathy and understanding in the Asian communities that struck me the most. Mental health was, and still is, an under-discussed issue within many families, and my mother's family was no exception. Despite being afraid of my grandmother's eccentricity, I feel compassion for her fear and loneliness. Watching my grandmother navigate a world ill-equipped to understand her nuanced needs solidified my drive to create accessible mental health resources.
In parallel, my brother's experience of growing up in a religious household while grappling with his closeted identity added another layer to my understanding of mental health. His struggle wasn't against a diagnosable condition but against societal norms that threatened his well-being. My brother lived under the weight of religious expectations and cultural taboos, which deteriorated his mental health. He has struggled with chronic depression since he was nine and struggled to find the safety to voice his feelings. My brother could never talk about his internal battles in the open, forcing him to wear a mask that suffocated his early existence. For over ten years, he hid himself from our family and could only find solace with tolerant friends. When he came out to me in college, I was deeply saddened and ashamed of not being able to support him growing up. Yet, it was then that I decided that my brother deserved the unconditional love he never got from our parents. His experience showed me that mental health struggles can also be rooted in societal frameworks and prejudices.
These personal narratives informed my professional path as I founded PLAY WITH KIP, an online platform to enrich children's social-emotional learning through play. Family dynamics are typically laden with trauma, multi-cultural expectations, and differences that deteriorate communication. It is my goal to build bridges in an increasingly polarizing world. Children, parents, and educators need the skills to communicate peacefully and lovingly with each other. To grow as people, we need to be in a relationship. Society often focuses more on academic excellence and less on the psychological and relational conditions of learning. As healthy people, we must gauge our emotional states and build empathy. Good, healthy relationships founded on mutual understanding enable growth and learning. How can we reach fulfillment or a higher human calling without connections and self-reflection?
Furthermore, bringing awareness to inclusivity will enable diverse communities to come together. My interactions with parents of deafblind children only deepened my determination. I spent hours listening to parents of deafblind children tell me their harrowing testimonies. "He's not aware that he's different, but I am. I see the disparity in opportunities for him compared to other children, and I wonder how I can give him a full life," she said. It was a trying account of how society's narrow definitions of normality can dishearten a parent's hopes for their child's future. Her desperation and the societal disparities she spoke of drove me to push the boundaries of what inclusivity should mean, including hiring American Sign Language translators for my platform's show. It is for these families that I want to encourage and support.
Then, my personal life took a harsh turn as I grappled with these professional challenges. A childhood friend I had lost touch with suddenly passed away in June 2023. We spent our teenage years in late-night conversations about how we would continue to learn and grow to make meaningful contributions to the world. My friend had always been passionate about philosophy, history, and music to connect with the greater whole. He was critical and bitingly sarcastic but had a big heart and a sense of justice. Through his desire for a safer world, he advocated for Asian American and Pacific Islander communities in his final years, a mission cut short by his battle with mental health. Deep down, I knew he felt uncertain and alone, which I could profoundly understand. Yet, I didn't realize how severe his loneliness and depression would be to overwhelm him eventually. This devastating news crushed me: A wave of helplessness and grief washed over me, and I began to reflect deeper.
The grieving process will be lifelong, and I will accept the pain and its wisdom. In conversations with his family and mutual friends, I learned that he had suffered in silence, cut off from the support and resources that could have changed his future. I am channeling my grief into motivation, not just to mourn his loss but to understand that the clock is ticking for many others who suffer in silence. I often think of him now as I make decisions for the future. My friend's death is the catalyst that compels me to consider further education in psychology. I am taking prerequisites at Foothill College to apply for a doctoral program at Alliant International University. I realized I would have to provide a foundation of mental health interventions backed by education and research for my work to be practical. PLAY WITH KIP now has future aims beyond teaching emotional intelligence and communication skills, potentially offering a lifeline to those teetering on the brink.
While the path ahead is daunting, I am encouraged by the challenges I've already overcome. There are numerous occasions when the financial burden seems unbearable, and societal judgments question the viability of my mission. The reality of debts and critics are a constant background noise, attempting to drown out my endeavors. Facing challenges, including financial burdens and societal judgments, I find my strength in the hardships of those I love and aim to help. My grandmother's eyes were clouded but expressive; my brother's masked pain; the mother's desperation for her deafblind child; and my late friend's unfulfilled dreams. These are not just memories but deep-seated reminders of the empathy, compassion, and tenacity I need to build for myself and my dreams. Those who struggle with hope remind me why I must persevere, even when the world seems unforgiving, and the mission ahead is monumental.
As I continue this elaborate journey, I will stand at the intersection of human psychology, design, and technology. Tenacity is more complex than having willpower and action as much as it helps. It's an emotional, mental, and spiritual trait that requires love, hope, and commitment to elevating the human experience. Every challenge I face, whether the looming debts or the overwhelming responsibility of my mission, becomes a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block. My belief that healing others is a communal rather than individual calling is why I chose this field in the first place and why it's crucial now more than ever to fight for mental health access and inclusivity.
A scholarship would ease my financial burdens and validate the lives and stories that motivate me daily. In the face of the mental health crisis surrounding us, my mission is crystal clear: to use my unique blend of skills and experiences to ensure that mental health support is not a privilege but a universal right. The inspiration to choose a career in this escalating mental health crisis comes from my family's struggles, the disparities I've witnessed, and the realization that we are all bound by our shared human condition. Time is finite, but the capacity for change is infinite.