My college journey has been filled with so much pain and many obstacles. While I've been in college I have escaped a 5-year long abusive relationship, been violently attacked by my ex-abuser, took time off of school to heal from my injuries and re-evaluate my dreams--and that was within my first year. During my sophomore year, I was involved in two car accidents. The first totaled my car and the second led to the discovery that I was pregnant. That pregnancy was characterized as high risk and was filled with symptoms such as atypical migraines, hyperemesis gravidum, pain from missed injuries from the car accidents and periods of temporary blindness. I am now a junior, after taking time off for my pregnancy, and during my junior year I have navigated family losses, financial struggles and postpartum anxiety. My college journey has been filled with so much pain and many obstacles, but since my son was born I have accomplished more than I did in those first two years. I have accepted a spot in the honors college and national society of collegiate scholars at my university. I have made the Dean's list for nearly all of the semesters that I have been in school. I have been approved for several credit overloads that allows me to graduate sooner. I have received additional grants for my academic performance and financial need. I have accomplished all of that for and because of my son. Being awarded this scholarship would mean the world to me as a new single mom. While I have been graciously awarded additional grants, I am still struggling to pay for my tuition. I graduate in the Spring of 2026 with my bachelors but my federal aid is running low and it's estimated that I won't have aid left for my last year. While I do have a job, I couldn't possibly use that money to fund my education as that would take away money that provides for my son. My "why" for pursuing higher education is my son. I am motivated by the desire to provide a better life for him. A life that isn't filled with uncertainty, struggle and pain as mine has been.

My community is full of children that were not set up to succeed. Some of us had parents that scrounged to find money to fill the fridge even a quarter of the way with groceries, even after clocking out of their third job. Others had parents that were battling addiction. Many of us had parents that didn't finish high school because they couldn't afford to be a student and keep a roof over their head. So what do I want to "build?" I want to build a better life for my son. A life that isn't filled with uncertainty and questions like where will I sleep tonight? How long do I get to stay at this school? Pursuing school while he is so young is part of how I will build this better life for him, and a future for both of us. By the time he begins school, I will have graduated with my bachelor's degree and be nearly finished with my master's degree. Both of which will allow me to buy us a place to call home, secure him a spot in a good school and lead to a good paying career that will allow me to say "yes" to whatever opportunities come his way whether that be sports or academics. I could build this future for him without pursuing education to the extent that I plan to, but I want him to know that higher education is an option for him. Building this life for him will impact my community by paving the way for future generations that have grown up with similar circumstances. I can't make that kind of impact on my own, however. Luckily, many of my peers have been inspired to relentlessly pursue their dreams for their little ones as well. As the number of individuals that pursue education from my community increases, the farther our generational curses and trauma become. Many of our parents didn't think that being a college graduate, buying a home, being financially stable or even being in a healthy relationship was possible. But each step we take towards a better life shows our parents, our children and the generations that follow, that circumstances don't have to be a barrier.

My earliest memory is sleeping on a blow up mattress on the floor of a family friend's bedroom floor. My mom was working three jobs at the time and she couldn't afford to house us AND keep her car that she used to drive to work. So she chose to keep her car and we hopped from family member's houses to family friend's houses, from shelters to apartments. We even spent time living in that car. By the time I was in high school I had been to 18 different schools for grades K-8, and we finally had a house to live in. My mom never graduated high school, but she later got her GED and always managed to land a job wherever we went. I have three reasons why I chose to pursue higher education. The first reason is that I got health insurance for the first time when I turned 18, and for the first time I could see a doctor if I needed to. When I was a kid, my mom and I only saw a doctor if we were," broken, heavily bleeding or having trouble breathing." My whole childhood I always wondered why so many places turned us away. I mean I understood that we didn't have the money but I couldn't understand denying medical care. This confusion turned into a passion for changing the healthcare system, and as a teen I decided I would become a Pediatric Specialist and practice in a rural area. I want to ensure that children with an upbringing like mine can always get the medical care they need, regardless of whether or not they have insurance. The second reason is when I turned 18 my mom told me something I would never forget: that I was a barrier that prevented her from pursuing higher education. It completely shattered me but it also motivated me to pursue my dreams relentlessly so I would never have anyone to blame except myself if I didn't succeed. That conversation hasn't left my mind since which leads me to my third reason. I am now a single mom to an incredibly brave two year old boy. I now understand that pursuing a higher education with a child is incredibly hard and taxing, especially with little or no help. However, now I HAVE to keep going regardless of how tiring this journey has become because I am determined to make sure that he doesn't grow up like I did--and he will never be considered a barrier to my success. As for preparation, I try to utilize as many resources that my university offers as I can. I stay in regular contact with my major advisor, Barrett the honors college advisor and financial advisor. I've joined clubs, attended events put on for first-generation students, applied for scholarships and internships. I am upfront with all of those individuals about how little I know about being a college student, and I ask them every little question that comes to mind. They have created this sense of community that I am so honored to be a part of. There are so many opportunities that I would've never known about, including this scholarship, without their guidance and support.

When I first stepped onto my college campus I was overtaken by a chill down my spine, and a pounding in my chest that made it hard to take the next step forward. My eyes widened and dashed from side to side as I watched the bustle of students walk around campus. It seemed as though everyone knew where they were going, except for me. After about a month of attending my classes I had learned that not only was I the only student that was a mother but I was also the only student that was a first-generation student. Many of my classmates would boast about the long line of family members that had attended college. A good handful of my classmates were taking out loans like I was but surprisingly, to me at least, a lot of them were having their degree paid for by a parent. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against those classmates (and I really want to emphasize that point); we were all attending college to pursue a deep passion of ours by any means that we could. It's just that... being in a room with them left me feeling lost and behind. They had a support system behind them that had been where they were before. A support system that could answer all of their questions about financial aid, careers, what major to select, etc. I had a single mom that had never finished high school as my parent, and now I had become a single mom too. I wouldn't say that my experience has been negative; my classmates, advisors and professors have created a community that I am honored to be a part of. They have all enriched my college experience and they want me to succeed--they want all of us to succeed. Instead, I would say that being a first-generation student that never grew up with stability has impacted my sense of self. I often find myself feeling uncertain about my capabilities and I question why I chose such a long journey. I feel like I am a little girl again, uncertain about how long we will get to stay in this house or apartment or shelter this time. How long will I get to stay at this school? Will I get the chance to stay longer than a week? Anytime I meet a student that is confident in their journey or has more resources than I do, I feel as uncertain as that little girl all over again. Being a first-generation student from a low-income background can make you feel as if you don't belong in college. It can make you feel like you should settle for dreams that feel more achievable to you or your family, or abandon your dreams entirely. But it can also feel empowering, especially as a parent. I am always filled with doubt about my ability to finish this degree and the ones that follow, but I HAVE to keep going so my son never feels uncertain. It's important to keep going not only for my son, but for my future patients as well. I aspire to work as a Pediatric Nurse before attending medical school to become a Pediatric Specialist in a rural hospital. While that might be considered an unconventional path to some, I believe that my experience as a Nurse will only make me a better Physician. Equipped with years of experience as a Nurse and my own personal experience, I aim to provide care to children with backgrounds like mine that might not have had access to medical care otherwise.