When it comes to my success and motivation, many things motivate me. From doing something with my life that I am genuinely happy with to making my mother proud, and everything in between. I think that my biggest motivation is my failures. I tend to look back at the times when I wished I said this or done that. Times when I should've kept going. Looking back at how I grew up, I never realized how great of a role model my mother was. She was not only balancing high school and work but also my sister and me. She was a superhero of sorts. I remember the times when she would wake us up and get ready for her first job. By the time she came home from her second job my sister and I were asleep. I think of those times when I feel like giving up. My mother did not struggle and give up her childhood just so I could give up. No, she did it so I could have opportunities that were taken from her. I strive to pursue my education so that when I finally complete schooling, I can look at her and tell her that she's my inspiration. The reason why I pushed myself to finish even when I felt like I was at the end of my rope. My education is important because it's an opportunity. Not everyone can go to a school. But I can. School has always been a great thing for me. I'm not the kid who groaned because summer was over. I was the kid who celebrated because I was going back. I looked forward to the new things I would learn. Even now I'm excited for the courses I'm taking. My education is important to me because my family has struggled to complete it. Not my siblings, because they're too young. But my parents and my tios. I'm a person who grows. Last year I was not the same. Next year, I'll be different. But I believe that as long as I'm happy with my decisions and I'm at peace, then I have my success. It doesn't matter whether I'm working a nine-to-five at a fast-food restaurant or in a sterile room figuring out the manner of death. In a way, my desire for happiness motivates my success. So in a short simple answer as to what motives me to become successful, my answer is this: the unknown. I have no idea where I'll be in years. But I do know that I'll pursue my education as long as I have to. I'll be happy.

In my last year of middle school and freshman year of high school, I was fighting a mental struggle. There was one teacher who pushed me to not give up. Her name is Mrs. Lott. She was the teacher who I could trust. When I opened up about my struggles, she gave me empathy. Not sympathy, because she knew that I wouldn't accept it. Throughout those two years, I was faced with stress, betrayal, loss, and little happiness. However, Mrs. Lott was there. She would see me in the hallways and brighten up. The hugs she gave me provided me with a momentary shield from all my worries and burdens. In a way, Mrs. Lott was a ray of hope for me. In hindsight, it was as though she was waiting for me to follow the map to hope and find it. Her classroom was a safe space. Composed of many freshmen, some sophomores, and a few seniors. People who wouldn't normally smile at you would make conversation with you. Everyone put aside differences and came together to crack jokes, have fun, and encourage one another. In that classroom, we were free to share anything. It was in there, that I revealed my struggles. Of course, some people joked to ease the seriousness, but lots of people were shocked. Regardless of their reactions, because Mrs. Lott made that classroom a safe space, everyone in there seemingly became more encouraging. One time for an assignment, Mrs. Lott had us create separate spreadsheets and put everyone's name in a cell. We then typed out compliments or a sweet message we wanted to relay. However, it was anonymous, and only she would know who wrote what when she put them together. The joy and laughs when creating that assignment drifted into what we wrote. Individually, she handed out our compliments. Immediately we started reading our own, surprising ourselves at what others had said. That day, I felt for the first time in a long time, seen and appreciated. Students wrote that they appreciated how I was open about my struggles, how I was very passionate about music, and how they thought that I would go into the world and do something good with my life. It was that day that I looked around the room, and sent a silent thank you to everyone. It was that day that I genuinely smiled at the people who would become like a family to me. Because of that one assignment, I realized that the people who truly care about you, aren't always the ones you expect. They're not the people who are by your side at every moment, but the people whose hearts you've managed to touch and impact. The people who are observing in silence, listening. Mrs. Lott had given me a safe space for two years. She provided me with comfort and encouragement. She helped me see that even when I don't think that I'm worthy of anything, someone begs to differ. She helped me appreciate the small things. Mrs. Lott has forever changed my life. She is forever a part of my story.

My dream version of my future self is being able to think of myself as being happy with the decisions I've made so that even if no one thinks I am, I'm successful.

In my first year of high school, severely battled with mental health. I forgot how to function, I watched as my grades slipped, and I sat apathetically as I could no longer find joy in what I once loved. I became frustrated at the memories that I struggled to recall. I was never eating, and when I did it caused pain. I became used to the fog in my chest and the noise in my head. I could not speak about my struggles. I was embarrassed. Not only that, but I was afraid of what my parents' reactions would be. I struggled for a year before telling them. When I finally did, they didn't believe it, but they helped me. As I began to go to therapy, my struggles became known. To teachers, students, family members, and I was still ashamed. I thought I would get negative reactions from students, and while I did get some taunts, I also received support. Reminiscing on that time, I now see that people can genuinely care. No matter how cruel people can be in high school, they can show they care in ways you'd never expect. Classmates sat with me and talked, they tried to make me laugh, and one classmate in particular always checked in on me. He made sure I was eating, and that I always had a reason to smile. My experience has made me appreciate joy. After two years of struggling with mental health, I've finally found happiness. I managed to improve my mental health. I fell in love with music and reading all over again. I met my best friend, who reminds me that I met at a time when things were slowly getting better. I appreciate the small friendships I have because a friend isn't the person who you spend all your time with, but the one who appears when everyone leaves. As for my goals, my experience has reminded me of just how strong I am. I push myself to do what I want. If I didn't give up then, I won't give up now. I didn't go through two years of constant mind battles, just to let things go to waste.

Taylor Swift is synonymous with the words " the music industry". As Taylor has grown into the woman she's become, millions of hearts have been touched. Mine included. As Taylor wraps up her U.S. leg of the Eras Tour, I've found myself feeling of all things, grateful. During these last few months, I've found myself reminiscing about what it felt like to first discover the mastermind. About the era that made me a Swiftie. As iconic as it is, it was the Reputation era. In that era, I became a Swiftie. However, Speak Now, made me a fan. The Eras Tour has helped me understand just how important music is. How it can bring together a huge range of people, elicit emotion, and be a safe space. As Speak Now (Taylor's Version) was announced, millions of people had come together to get it on the charts. It allowed us to fall in love with the most influential album in Taylor's career all over again. We put a crown on Taylor Lautner made of Swift's lyrics. Me and my best friend cried and mulled over the album. We were pulled closer together when our favorite album was re-recorded. With the announcement of 1989 (Taylor's Version), we will pass down the crown from Lautner to Styles. We will relive an era in which we didn't have a care in the world. As I mentioned, the Eras Tour has helped me understand the importance of music in my life. I've realized that I associate Taylor Swift's music with people, feelings, and places. And I've been able to reflect on the hurt and the healing I've gone through as Swift sings her setlist and her surprise songs. Taylor Swift has taught me that words don't have to rhyme to make a good song. It has to provoke emotion. Swift has succeeded thousands of times to provoke an emotion in me. On this tour, Taylor has taught me that there are people who will stay willingly by one's side. She's taught me that even if she doesn't know me personally, she's still appreciative of me. Swift has taught me that in our hurting, tears, screams, laughs, and smiles, we go into her concert alone, but come out with thousands of new friends. The Eras Tour holds a special place in my heart. This is because she truly knows what we love. She's managed to make us fall in love with her music all over again. She's given us a masterpiece. And because of that masterpiece, I and my best friend have managed to become closer. To Taylor, I owe a thanks.

"The Summer I Turned Pretty", in my opinion, is something of a modern-day "Twilight". Two love interests, and the promise of one's heart getting broken. It's captivating and leaves the watcher wanting more. Like Belly, I've had my fair share of complicated life decisions. From the decisions I've had to make and the hindsight I have from them, I have been able to decide whose side I'm on. I am Team Conrad! In the show, Belly described how it caused her pain to revisit those memories of Conrad, to Taylor. In a parallel, Conrad told Jeremiah, when asking for his blessing, that it physically causes him pain to not love Belly. Conrad may go through his ups and downs. He may not always communicate the best about his feelings, and he may push people away when he needs them the most. In a way, Conrad prefers to be apathetic, than to bare his soul to others. But! Conrad loves Belly. He walked out on her at her prom, to save her heart from being damaged beyond repair. He knew the risks. However, when it comes to Belly he has her best interests at heart. He got into a fight when Belly was at the bonfire talking to another guy; he asked to be her escort for the debutante ball, bailing on his girlfriend who needed one; he crashed her first date out of jealousy; he kept the infinity necklace long after they broke up. Some people may argue that Jeremiah is a better choice because there's no doubt about his love and he would sacrifice his heart for Belly's. While I agree that he would do anything and everything for Belly. I believe that Jeremiah would let his love pour out so overwhelmingly, that it would block out everything. I believe that Jeremiah would live in his fantasy, and block out reality. I am Team Conrad because he observes. From the looks he gives Jeremiah, when he sees him and Belly together, to the time when he realized that his mom, Susannah, had cancer. Conrad can care. He does care. He genuinely cares so whole-heartedly, that it becomes rude. I believe that Conrad is something of a lost soul. But with Belly he is found. Their relationship is work, yes. But what relationship comes easy? Real relationships are perfect. And neither are they. They have differences, but they can learn a lot from them. They can teach each other how to open up, how to problem solve, and how to find silver linings. In the latest episode, Belly said that helping Conrad get into his dream college is the last thing she'll do for him. But that's not true. Not when their souls are too entangled in each other's lives. They know the unspoken things about each other, and they can sit in comfortable silence. They're not perfect, and that's what makes it right.