As a queer and mentally disabled student in Texas, I have faced all kinds of bullying and harassment for practically my entire educational career. I have jumped through all sorts of hoops, and barely made it out alive of my negative mental health issues. During that time, I had no friends or external support which made me feel incredibly hopeless. When I went back to school after COVID, I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure kids like me had someone they could talk to. I attempted to set up a Gay-Straight Alliance, however Texan laws have cracked down and made it illegal for me to host such a club. When I thought everything was hopeless, I met a kid who was just like me, and two years younger, going through the same struggles with friends and mental health and identity that I once was. He loved all the same video games, and TV shows I did. That's when it hit me. I don't have to become the leading queer kid In my school, I don't have to upturn a law singlehandedly to make people feel connected. If I can change the life of one person, maybe he can go on and change the lives of others. I've helped him through turmoils, and issues both at school and at home and I've remained in his corner whenever anyone thought they could slide in a snide remark about him. Knowing that I could at least make one person's high school career better than mine was, was everything I needed.

I'm a boy who loves heavy metal, punk, ska, hard rock, anything with a hard bass line and drums that can move you up and down. Standard pop princesses have never appealed to me, and I've always rolled my eyes and scoffed at their fangirls. What I do love however- is film. And despite how cringey it sounds, my mother convinced me to watch the music video to Please Please Please because she knew how I had admired Keoghan's performances in movies such as Saltburn or the Killing of a Sacred Deer. However what captured me wasn't him, it was her tongue in cheek lyricism and empowering meaning that brought me back to breakups from years ago that I never thought I'd think about again. I was truly invested in her and her willingness to be herself, even if herself is not always what appeals to the masses. With each new release, I have been consistently surprised by her talents and creativity and she has gone from someone who I would have considered a guilty pleasure and hid myself away to listen to her albums, to someone who can confidently say that goshdarnit he is a proud Sabrina Carpenter fan.

It was a week before my ninth birthday, I remember being in the car eating Panera, while my parents were inside the hospital. My aunt came out and opened the car door, I could tell she was crying, and I could guess why, but at that point I suppose I didn't understand the extent of it. I didn't really get to know my grandfather. He was a skilled hunter who often took long trips into the wilderness with his friends and bring back taxidermy animals. So my only memories of him are either him being gone, or him being practically paralyzed on my grandmother's couch, weak and frail. You learn what cancer is in elementary school, you're shown the easy to digest Charlie Brown short on leukemia and that cancer shouldn't be stigmatized, but at that point it's far away from you and your self centered world just views it as a thing that happens to other people. Now I'm eighteen and I miss my grandfather. Or as he preferred to be known, Pawpaw. He was Mexican, my mother being half Mexican, and me being 1/4th. I'm pale as a ghost, and often times im asked if my mother is my real biological mother and sometimes I wish he were here because if I got to be with him longer maybe I would feel like I understand the culture and not be a poser in my own community. I wish he could've shown me the foods and the music that he loved, I wish he got to know me as his grandson and not his granddaughter. When we sit around the table, me, my parents, my grandmaw, and my aunt, occasionally we'll all say a word about what we miss about him, and our favorite memories. What hurts the most is the way I remember nothing, I don't have a single memory, good or bad of him. Even in the hospital, everything seems distant and more like I'm remembering a story that was told to me. I envy everyone else who was able to love him and feel loved by him, but I was only a kid and a kid doesn't expect its family to be taken away. I'd love to be able to learn about my hispanic heritage someday, but we're so far removed from his side of the family it feels hopeless. Maybe in another universe we could've had grand adventures together but unfortunately I'm stuck on earth while Pawpaw is up in the stars.

My name is Kieran Hudson, I am a senior in high school, I have a huge chunk of college credit from high school and I am aiming to study film in college. From the age of 12, I started to have extreme suicidal thoughts. I know how it feels to be at the lowest point you can be. While I have been getting better in a slowly, but surely way- volunteering as well as my job have helped me stay afloat. I have been volunteering and helping at my local library to shelf, organize, and help the patrons find the books they've been looking for. As much as I don't enjoy school, the format and scheduling blocks of each day help my brain feel productive and leave me feeling satisfied with my contribution, even if it does make me tired. Without that, I feel useless and start to wallow in my own self-pity. Feeling useful as a volunteer gave me meaning, and i'd wake up early just to rush to the library and immediately breeze through the shelves of books. I did that for around three years, and it made me feel like I had an actual purpose. I was doing this until I got employed at McDonalds. It took two attempts to get hired, I blundered the first interview, but worked really hard practicing with my family and nailed the interview on the account of my 'infectious smile'. I have been there for nine months, and while I cannot deny that I am definitely overworked, underpaid, and forced to deal with entitled people everyday, I can't imagine not having it. I have been able to meet people from different walks of lives and backgrounds, and take an inside view of strangers lives in the window of food. I have gone from giving a small child a happy meal, to helping a battered woman take refuge in our booth. With my dream of becoming a filmmaker, I feel like I can successfully write stories about a multitude of people, because I've met them and I've befriended them, and I've possible argued with them over the counter. My experience in both my volunteering and the workforce has allowed my experiences to incorporate into my future works, and I hope when you see me on the big screen on the future, you can truly felt seen by the characters I write about.

My name is Kieran Hudson, I am a senior in high school, I have a huge chunk of college credit from high school and I am aiming to study film in college. From the age of 12, I started to have extreme suicidal thoughts. I know how it feels to be at the lowest point you can be. While I have been getting better in a slowly, but surely way- volunteering as well as my job have helped me stay afloat. I have been volunteering and helping at my local library to shelf, organize, and help the patrons find the books they've been looking for. As much as I don't enjoy school, the format and scheduling blocks of each day help my brain feel productive and leave me feeling satisfied with my contribution, even if it does make me tired. Without that, I feel useless and start to wallow in my own self-pity. Feeling useful as a volunteer gave me meaning, and i'd wake up early just to rush to the library and immediately breeze through the shelves of books. I did that for around three years, and it made me feel like I had an actual purpose. I was doing this until I got employed at McDonalds. It took two attempts to get hired, I blundered the first interview, but worked really hard practicing with my family and nailed the interview on the account of my 'infectious smile'. I have been there for nine months, and while I cannot deny that I am definitely overworked, underpaid, and forced to deal with entitled people everyday, I can't imagine not having it. I have been able to meet people from different walks of lives and backgrounds, and take an inside view of strangers lives in the window of food. I have gone from giving a small child a happy meal, to helping a battered woman take refuge in our booth. With my dream of becoming a filmmaker, I feel like I can successfully write stories about a multitude of people, because I've met them and I've befriended them, and I've possible argued with them over the counter. My experience in both my volunteering and the workforce has allowed my experiences to incorporate into my future works, and I hope when you see me on the big screen on the future, you can truly felt seen by the characters I write about.

When I saw I had a coach for a teacher in my junior year AP US History class, I was nervous. As a queer student with a mental disability, I have constantly been jumping through hoops to avoid bullying and harassment from both peers and teachers, and the thought of being taught by someone who was in charge of the space that these kids frequented was enough to make me feel ill. When I entered the class I expected the worst, I chose to sit in the back of the class and I intended on just keeping to myself and doing my work so I could pass and leave this class behind. I truly felt that my only way to get through this class was to live on survival mode. That was until Coach Boehm came up to me on a quiet day and whispered "If you need anything at all, let me know. I'm here for you." I'm not sure if he expected me to take him up on that offer, but whenever I had a hard day, faced harassment, or had a question about anything, I made an excuse to go eat my lunch in his room. He'd sit with me, even when he was probably supposed to be eating his own lunch, and he'd make space for me that I felt no other teacher had before. He would hear all of my thoughts, fears, and dreams, and I could tell by the way he looked and talked to me that he was truly listening to me and that for some crazy reason- he believed in me. Even after I've graduated his class, my school banned the ability for teachers to use my preferred name, and he was the first person I emailed while I was crying on the floor of my local Freebirds, and he instantly responded and told me that everything was going to be okay. And when he saw me walking through the halls, he looked at me with his big goofy smile and shouted my preferred name, even when it put him at the risk of getting fired. I don't just carry my aspiration of becoming a great filmmaker for me, I carry it for him, and the extra mile he put in just to put a smile on my face. I hope that one day I can repay what he's done for me and truly make him proud.

Sometime in April or even perhaps early May, it'll be the sixth anniversary of me trying to take my own life. I remember standing in my bedroom, twelve years old, holding an extension cord and attempting to tie it on my fan. My parents found me with the cord around my neck, trying to figure out how I could hang myself with it, and I was forced into essentially house arrest since it was during the pandemic and my parents were unable to take me to a facility. Mental health is a really slippery slope, and it's hard to think about when you've been struggling for such a large portion of your life. It's hard to figure out what you should do next, or where you even see yourself in your future, when you didn't even expect to make it this far. I'm not gonna lie to you and say I've been clean from self harm for six years, I can't tell you how long it's been but it's probably been less than I'd care to admit. Before COVID I had been sexually assaulted by my best friend, and I didn't know enough sexual education to know what happened to me. I became scared to go outside, and scared of men in general, I'd experience forms of paranoid delusions that bad things would happen to me if I let myself get close to someone. But I think I can say with some form of confidence that things are starting to look up for me. I am 18 years old now. I have been diagnosed with autism, which having been undiagnosed was ruining my self esteem, and was able to figure out that there's nothing wrong with me or the way I socialize. I have friends, who lift me up and who I can be my authentic self around, I have a job that i've managed to hold down for the past nine months. I've been to Scotland, Ireland and this summer i'm going to Japan. I have met so many beautiful people on this earth and lived so many beautiful experiences, it's hard to believe I was the same little boy who sat so hopelessly in his room, convinced that there was no other answer than to leave this earth. Now I'm aiming to study in what makes me happy the most, film, I want to share my experiences and creativity on the big screen and let others know they're not alone. If I can make one person be able to look up and lift their head up high, I will have done my duty on this earth.

I hardly remember a time where I was not in therapy. My parents put me in therapy during my 5th grade year, when I repeatedly came home with scratches and cuts that I insisted were falls or scratched mosquito bites, but resembled something much darker. Back in 2020, I was suffering the worst of my mental health. I would threaten my life on a semi-regular basis, and my parents were unable to put me in a mental ward due to the worsening pandemic and the fear of me getting stuck in a traumatizing environment without the ability to leave. Due to this, my parents blew up an air mattress and had me sleep on the floor so they could watch me while I slept so they could make sure I wouldn't pass away in my sleep. I know what it's like to suffer the worst of the worst mental health, and while I am doing better and am mostly clean from my previous self destructive behaviors, I still struggle on a daily basis to be happy and feel like a human being among my peers. Due to constant bullying, and every sort of harassment under the sun, I can't help but resort to bad habits every few months, or at least lay in my bed and numb everything out. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is just take a deep breath, and space out. Fall asleep. Distract yourself. Whatever your coping mechanism is, it's better than the ones you love losing a child. A friend. A family member. I can emphasize with anyone who has ever looked in the mirror, and hated everything they saw in it. However through everything, I have seen hope and happiness. I am always the first person to check up with my friends when I know that they are feeling down. I try my best to advocate for my friends against bullying and harassment, and always try to make them feel happy when they're going through struggles. I've stayed up late nights making sure my friends feel loved, and talking them down from anything they're going through. I've seen how beautiful life is, and how lucky I am to be alive, and I think it would be great if I could show that to others. I aspire to pursue film and showcase mental health issues on the big screen, and this scholarship would help me achieve that. Thank you.

I'll be blunt with you. I am horrible at introductions, and am even worse at forming coherent thoughts without a thick layer of self deprecation but let's give it a shot. Hi there! My name is Kieran Hudson, I am 18 years old and live in Texas. When I was 11 years old I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and when I was 15, I was diagnosed with autism. There is nothing I love more than the movie theater, except maybe my cat Marty, whose named after the 1985 movie 'Back To The Future'. Making it to Hollywood as a director, producer or any sort of behind the scenes creative is my dream. From an early age I've loved to create, whether it be drawing, innovating, or dancing in my room alone behind closed doors. However, I fully believe I was put onto this earth to make movies. I watched over 300 movies last year, nearly one a day, I tried my best. My favorite genres are horror and comedy, I have a fantastic sense of humor but I'm also drawn to the dark macabre, and goofy slashers, like The Evil Dead or Scream. For my career in film, I want to make movies that make people feel heard and tell the sort of stories that I felt like I needed to hear when I was going through the rough patches of my life. I don't want to be boxed in as a 'queer' director or 'disabled' director, I just want to be a director who provides a unique perspective on the lives of different sorts of individuals. My current writing project is called 'Running Up The Stairs While Drunk' it's very loosely based on a story my dad told me, it's about two run-of-the-mill skateboarders in the 90s who are trying to provide support to their suicidal friend who can't afford to receive professional care. To me, this story represents both sides of mental health adversity that i've faced. On one side, you know someone who's struggling to even stay on this planet any longer, and you don't know what to do to help someone who's so helpless, and it's not even your responsibility but you care so deeply for your best friend. On the other side, you're struggling and desperately trying to cling onto anyone for emotional support. This story means the world to me as my own lived in experience of depression, trauma, and mental illness and I would love to bring it to big screens so others can feel represented as well. I've been through excessive bullying, discrimination, assault, and any other cruel thing kids can say or do- but despite it all, i would really like to use my creativity to spread positivity and give a voice to those who are struggling. Thank you.

While, I have always been seen as an 'advanced' or 'gifted' student, in reality I have never seen myself as anything more than vaguely mediocre. Before high school, I never put much effort into my schoolwork but managed to get all A's and maybe the occasional B in the struggling math class. I was able to squeeze by while taking part in my creative hobbies, and spending nearly everyday hanging out with my family and friends. High School started the same way, but it didn't stay there for long. I was beginning to feel burnt out, as well as struggling with an autism diagnosis that was brought to my attention February of my Freshman Year. I was also worrying about my career aspiration of being an artist, as I was pushed around by my first art teacher in high school who destroyed my passion for the subject. I was still having time to do what I enjoyed in my free time, with a little more work being done outside of school. However, this year everything changed when I got my first job. During the last week of my Junior year, I had gotten an interview at McDonalds and worked there all throughout the summer. There was a definite learning curve, but before I knew it, I was getting along well with my coworkers. Even whenever I struggled with a particularly grumpy customer, or an influx of orders, there was always someone there who had my back and that I could count on for an extra set of hands. These hands only extend so far, and my schoolwork quickly became a struggle once my senior year began. Jugging nearly every class being a mix of Advanced Placement, or Dual Credit for the local college, the workflow was intense. I was able to handle it the first nine weeks, with most assignments being introductions and easy practices. This second nine weeks, I have had several struggles that have impaired both my work, and my school life. Work is my non-negotiable and gives me a sense of income and independence. No matter what happens, I will go to work. I have learned to utilize AVID as less of a time to goof off, and watch youtube or send emails to my friends, but use it as a time to study and collaborate with my table mates on various study guides or projects. Every second of free time, I have asked questions or reached out for every extra credit I can get. Since my school got rid of our mid-day free period, I have not been able to receive and tutoring due to it being after school, and I either have therapy or work after school, so everything I have had to reteach myself or have friends teach me step by step. It has especially been a struggle with statistics, which I chose due to most of my advanced upperclassmen telling me how they breezed by with ease. However, me and my friends quickly realized that statistics was very different from the stories and it just would not click in my head. I began bringing study materials to work, so I could look over and memorize formulas and the necessary steps that wouldn't be visible on the formula sheet. The teacher has been very kind and lenient with my extra credit assignments, so even when I stumbled on a test I was able to recover enough points to pick myself back up and dust myself off. I will be ending this semester of school with roughly a 75 in statistics, and while I would have loved to have a higher score i'm proud of the work that I put in to make this grade possible. If I had not taken these steps, I would've either been removed from the class or forced to quit my job. I could not have done it without the help along the way that I received from my peers. I hope I can use my education to gain a degree in film, which is my main passion and calling in life. Film school is extremely expensive, and I am struggling to get enough funds so that I won't be in extreme debt for majority of my life. I want to use the movies that I work on to bring other people happiness, and bring representation for people who don't often get to see themselves on the big screen. If I can bring someone a smile and make them happy, that's all I would really love to do.

Being transgender in the state of Texas is one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced. The discrimination, harassment and bullying I've faced from both peers and adults, both online and offline is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. When I saw I had a coach for my US History teacher in my junior year, I very quickly got nervous. Most of my bullies had been jocks or athletes, so having a teacher that was the one who nurtured their environment was nerve-wracking. I expected that he would take one look at me, and make my junior year a living hell. Yet, he's the one I'm the happiest to have met in my entire learning experience. While I was rather neutral to him, and he seemed rather neutral to me at first, he was always the first to check up on me. He never made a mistake with my preferred pronouns or name. When President Trump was elected for his second term, he was the first one who let me know that he was here for me, and let me sob in his room during lunch. He told me that things were going to be okay, and that he would offer me support through anything that was going to happen, and I never had a teacher who I felt offered that amount of support. If anything, previous teachers just seemed to give me basic respect which is lovely and frankly they are not paid enough to do much else but I never felt like I had an adult at school who was batting in my corner. He always asked me how I was, and I never felt like I had to lie and say I was all right because he would be there to cheer me up when I was down, and celebrate any win that I had. Even though he's no longer my teacher, with the law passing this year that teachers can't use the preferred terms for their trans students, he never ever used this against me, and continued to address me the way I wanted to be addressed. He taught me that not everyone in Texas is against me, and that allies can come from unlikely backgrounds and I've never been more grateful. I use the support I've gotten from others to support my younger trans peers. I might be able to leave next year, but they are not that lucky and I am always looking for a way to uplift them, and always provide a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen to their worries. I always stand up for my trans brothers and sisters against any bullies, and I plan to continue this even if it has to be from a longer distance. I wish to continue past this to advocacy, so that the lawmakers know that we are here, and that we will not rest until you respect our existence.

When I was five years old I went to a theme park with my dad. I was very excited to do the karate demonstration but when I got up, I just couldn’t do it. My hand wouldnt hit hard enough. I broke down sobbing, I was so embarrassed. The instructor approached my dad later and asked if I had autism, my dad frowned in disgust and told him no. He ignored this interaction for years until I came up to him at 14 years old and asked for an autism diagnosis. Hi! My name is Kieran and I am a 17 year old, transgender boy from Texas. I am obsessed with Persona 3, Cats and movies. I have a hard time eating foods with different textures, i cry everytime my overhead light comes on in my living room, I can only function with my headphones on and I am very passionate about my beliefs. When I went to my next therapy session I had a whole case on why I believed to be on the spectrum. Except- she wouldn’t believe me. “Well. You're transgender. Any social isolation you’ve experienced is because people don’t like that you’re transgender.” This didnt make sense to me. I had been struggling since I could remember, back in elementary school, when I’d break down sobbing anytime someone made fun of my cat. I was put off by this at first but I knew there was something wrong with her statements. My next appointment I came to her office with money in hand, and demanded a diagnosis. She grumbled and hardly managed to accept it but before I knew it- autism level one. Highlighted with extreme hyper fixations, sensory issues and social awkwardness. I love the cinema, Ive been amazed by the big screen since I can remember. Movies is where I see the people who are like me, where I can feel connected to people. I am typically a very apathetic person, but when it comes to a movie I feel every word. I would love to be a director and I am hoping to get into the School Of Visual Arts, so that I can escape the very conservative area i live in that has damaged my mental health as well as be in a supportive environment that will foster my love of film. I have already gotten in touch with students there, and have made meaningful connections. I would love to make film about autistic people like me so people all over the spectrum can see themselves represented. However it is not very easy to make the move across the country from Texas to New York. This scholarship would help me pay off the insane cost of art school and allow me to not have to settle for a community college where I will not receive the social and emotional benefits and accommodations I need to thrive. Thank you!

My favorite movie has always been Back To The Future. I never really had a deep connection, it was just always there. It's fundamentally a perfectly paced story, never letting you be bored. When I was 6 years old, and my parents allowed me to get a pet cat, I named it Marty all on my own accord. In my freshman year I was diagnosed with autism. It was something that I had known about myself for a while, but finally managed to get a professional to confirm my suspicions, and as a treat to myself I got to see Back To The Future in theaters the same week. Except this time things were different for me. All this time my favorite character had been Marty Mcfly, he was cool and suave and everything I wanted to be. Except on this watch Marty's father, George Mcfly, stood out to me. From the way he hyperfixated on science fiction, and wouldn't allow anyone to ruin his specifically defined schedule unless he became a character in his own science fiction story, to the clumsy way he spoke with an unsteady manner of speech, always carefully planning out his words but failing anyway no matter how hard he practiced. "You're my density!" He proclaims to Lorraine, after practicing his lines as if he was in a play, and not real life. It was the first time I had felt seen by a movie. Even though I'm quite confident that his autistic traits were not planned by Robert Zemeckis, it still meant the world to me and like I wasn't alone in all of my struggles. I am George McFly: I'm a huge nerd about all sorts of media, I always trip over my words, I spend hours pacing my room voicing out my lines in hypothetical scenarios that will never happen to me, I always seem to be followed around by bullies who always seem to view me as inadequate, but like George I have learned that I am capable of more and I'm on a road to accomplish my dreams hopefully in the film industry. This December, I will be visiting Crispin Glover in Dallas for his showing of his personally directed film, and while I know he is not the biggest fan of his work in Back To The Future due to some legal drama, I am highly indebted to him and the connection he has made me feel with one of his characters. I'm not alone, I am not weird, my existence was predicted by the hit 1985 film Back To The Future.

My name is Kieran. I haven’t gone by my old name since I was in 6th grade. This year I was told I wasn’t allowed to use my name in school. I live in Texas, and while I have a supportive and loving family, I have struggled a lot with my mental health. I have attempted suicide, and been in therapy since I was in fifth grade. I have been sexually assaulted, and groped my strangers in the hallway who try to prove ‘well i just wanted to check if your boobs were really there’. I have been shoved into walls and yelled my deadname. I have been threatened disciplinary actions for just trying to pee, since I couldn’t make it to the nurses bathroom. I have felt like where I am is very unsafe for me for nearly my entire life. Everyday at school i have contemplated ending it all. I’ve thought about maybe my peers are right about me- and I should detransition. Maybe I am sick in the head or maybe I am delusional. But when I look back at my old photos, I can hardly recognize myself. I know that I am much happier the way I am now, and going back to how I used to be would be deadly. Anytime I see a new transgender kid come into our school i take them under my wing and provide them emotional support and someone to sit with. I give my younger trans friends advice, encouragement and affirmation and make sure that they know it’s worth it to keep going. I have given by younger friend, Julien, advice especially with his parents who are at times unsupportive. Theres so many experiences that I wouldn't have had if I decided to kill my self. I met my hero Michael J Fox, I went to Ireland, Ive met friends both online and offline. Despite what I deal with at school, I’ve experienced happiness and I don’t want to let that go. With High School coming to an end Ive decided that film is my main passion in life, and my calling and that in order to live a successful and happy life i need to move far away from Texas. I aspire to be a film director, and I’d love to make movies about kids like me so that maybe they don’t feel alone. They don’t feel invisible and they don’t have to rely on poor representations of themselves to feel seen.

I was admitted into therapy when I was about a year younger than Matthew. It was the summer before 6th grade, and I had begun to self harm from in person bullying. Throughout my education career it's only gotten worse, as I've been grabbed, groped, threatened, yelled at, anything you can imagine, I have faced. I have been posted on multiple social media sites for my school, berating the way I act, eat, talk. I don't even have social media, I am often too afraid of the people that I know from school finding me, and attacking me for simply how I identify. I am autistic and transgender in a very conservative suburb, and I've never known a life without bullying. Unfortunately a lot of the times, I have been told that the school could do nothing about it, due to things happening away from the school, or microaggressions that would not qualify for a proper investigation to be done. I had believed that there's nothing I could do to face my bullying other than to persevere. I've been forced to build up thick skin so that I can survive. I've focused my energy to standing up for my friends, who are often younger than me and face discrimination at school, but are forced to stay here while more laws are passed that make their life harder. I try to advocate for those who are stuck here, because they do not have the opportunity to leave. I always provide a helping hand, as well as an ear to listen, and convince the people who matter to me that they're worth staying here. I often am the first one to step up to those who are bothering my friends, and tell them that they can screw off. It matters to me that my peers know that they are not alone. It is not fair that in this society, kids can suffer consequences from those around them, for just trying to be themselves. I am hoping to leave Texas for my own well being, and move North to study film, which is my main passion in life. However I am struggling with the funds to move across the country, as well as apply to an arts college which is famously costly. This scholarship would mean the world to me to get myself out of this toxic environment that constantly ruins my mental health, thank you.

When I had asked my therapist if it was possible I had autism, she refused to give me a proper diagnosis on the account that anything that I felt was different about me, was because of the fact that I was transgender. I live in a conservative suburb, and ever since I can remember, I've been an outcast. Instead of playing with the other kids on the elementary school playground, I would spend my recess sleeping on the bench. I would have mental breaks every time someone at school made fun of my obsession with my cat, and I had an inability to eat anything other than my chicken nuggets everyday. So being denied by the person that I relied on so strongly for my mental health- was weird. Especially on account of such a trivial matter of my personal identity. I had spent years researching an answer on what in the world was wrong with me, and this was the only answer that made sense. I was previously diagnosed with anxiety, and depression which were things not only were caused by trauma, but ran in the family as well. Yet, the unanswered questions of my social inadequacy, and bullying from far before I had ever even had a grasp on my queer identity still lingered in my mind. If she thought she knew me so well, then why couldn't she see how different I was from anyone else. I worked with my parents to advocate heavily for myself, having to practically force money onto her to convince her to give me a diagnosis, and low in behold I positively received a confirmation of my suspicions. Ever since then, I reported her discrimination, and moved on to a new therapist who can see me for who I am. I've been able to deal with my mental health breaks better knowing that the thing 'wrong' with me has an explanation, and it has brought comfort to my own skateboarding obsessed dad who has realized that he also has autism, and it's brought much comfort onto himself when he previously thought that his behaviors were a result of his upbringing. My autism diagnosis has helped my family so much, I am so thankful for it even though it has brought me much stress and heartache. My special interest is film, I love the movies, and the theater is my happy place. I would love to attend School Of Visual Arts in New York, not only to support my dream but also to move out of the conservative place I currently live in that has damaged my mental health so intensely. I would love to make movies about those who are neurodivergent, and struggle with other mental health ailments to let people know that they are not alone, and are able to see themselves on the silver screen. This scholarship would mean the world to me and my family to help me make the move across the country. Thank you for the opportunity!

I was twelve when I first tried to kill myself. I was scared, in pain, I grabbed my extensions chord and tried to toss it up to my ceiling fan, but it was way too short. I spent that evening crying, and digging my nails into my skin. It’s weird growing up and having your fun fact be- ‘well once I spent a week sleeping on my parents floor so that they could make sure I didn’t kill myself in my sleep’. I struggle with diagnosed autism, depression, and anxiety, all which hinder my interactions with others in my daily life. Before I knew what I wanted to do with my life, I lived to serve others. I had other friends with mental health issues, who would threaten suicide, and disappear for days on end only to come back to school like nothing happened. During these times I would be the person to soothe all my friends, the one keeping it together so no one else lost their cool. I was always the person who people came to with their struggles. I’d hear about all of my friend’s secrets, their fights and conflicts, all of their dirty laundry and I accepted it all without batting an eye. I used my seven years of therapy experience to provide aid, because if I lost these people then who would I have left to keep me busy from my own dark thoughts. One day I came to school, and my friend’s boyfriend was manipulating her and telling her gross things about me that were never true, and I was cast out without a second thought. I had never spoken to him before, and I knew he was just trying to create a divide between me and her so he could use her how he wanted. I was left alone, and I returned to my self destructive tendencies once more. I would starve myself and spend my free hour at school crying underneath the stairwell. I had no motivation to take my life I would just sit there and suffer. That’s when I discovered film, it saved me. I was able to see people I could relate to, I would spend sleepless nights being accompanied by fantastical heroes or kids in school just trying to get by. I was able to fill in everything I felt like I had missed from my high school experience, and be normal even if it was to be a spectator in others fictional lives. My obsession with film has made me friends, a partner, it’s what I’m known for and I have endless amounts of passion about the subject. My passion project is a script I’ve been working on called ‘Running Up The Stairs While Drunk’ it covers a story of a suicidal man and his relationship with his two roommates who he has thrust his issues upon and how they cope with it. It covers both the sides and perspectives of the people struggling with their own demons, and those who bear a brave face to help them regardless of what they themselves are going through. I would love to make this story a reality, and I would love your assistance in providing me the education I would need to push me closer. Thank you!

When I was five years old I went to a theme park with my dad. I was very excited to do the karate demonstration but when I got up, I just couldn’t do it. My hand wouldnt hit hard enough. I broke down sobbing, I was so embarrassed. The instructor approached my dad later and asked if I had autism, my dad frowned in disgust and told him no. He ignored this interaction for years until I came up to him at 14 years old and asked for an autism diagnosis. Hi! My name is Kieran and I am a 17 year old, transgender boy from Texas. I am obsessed with Persona 3, Cats and movies. I have a hard time eating foods with different textures, i cry everytime my overhead light comes on in my living room, I can only function with my headphones on and I am very passionate about my beliefs. When I went to my next therapy session I had a whole case on why I believed to be on the spectrum. Except- she wouldn’t believe me. “Well. You're transgender. Any social isolation you’ve experienced is because people don’t like that you’re transgender.” This didnt make sense to me. I had been struggling since I could remember, back in elementary school, when I’d break down sobbing anytime someone made fun of my cat. I was put off by this at first but I knew there was something wrong with her statements. My next appointment I came to her office with money in hand, and demanded a diagnosis. She grumbled and hardly managed to accept it but before I knew it- autism level one. Highlighted with extreme hyper fixations, sensory issues and social awkwardness. I love the cinema, Ive been amazed by the big screen since I can remember. Movies is where I see the people who are like me, where I can feel connected to people. I am typically a very apathetic person, but when it comes to a movie I feel every word. I would love to be a director and I am hoping to get into the School Of Visual Arts, so that I can escape the very conservative area i live in that has damaged my mental health as well as be in a supportive environment that will foster my love of film. I have already gotten in touch with students there, and have made meaningful connections. I would love to make film about autistic people like me so people all over the spectrum can see themselves represented. However it is not very easy to make the move across the country from Texas to New York. This scholarship would help me pay off the insane cost of art school and allow me to not have to settle for a community college where I will not receive the social and emotional benefits and accommodations I need to thrive. Thank you!

My name is Kieran. I haven’t gone by my old name since I was in 6th grade. This year I was told I wasn’t allowed to use my name in school. I live in Texas, and while I have a supportive and loving family, I have struggled a lot with my mental health. I have attempted suicide, and been in therapy since I was in fifth grade. I have been sexually assaulted, and groped my strangers in the hallway who try to prove ‘well i just wanted to check if your boobs were really there’. I have been shoved into walls and yelled my deadname. I have been threatened disciplinary actions for just trying to pee, since I couldn’t make it to the nurses bathroom. I have felt like where I am is very unsafe for me for nearly my entire life. Everyday at school i have contemplated ending it all. I’ve thought about maybe my peers are right about me- and I should detransition. Maybe I am sick in the head or maybe I am delusional. But when I look back at my old photos, I can hardly recognize myself. I know that I am much happier the way I am now, and going back to how I used to be would be deadly. Anytime I see a new transgender kid come into our school i take them under my wing and provide them emotional support and someone to sit with. I give my younger trans friends advice, encouragement and affirmation and make sure that they know it’s worth it to keep going. I have given by younger friend, Julien, advice especially with his parents who are at times unsupportive. Theres so many experiences that I wouldn't have had if I decided to kill my self. I met my hero Michael J Fox, I went to Ireland, Ive met friends both online and offline. Despite what I deal with at school, I’ve experienced happiness and I don’t want to let that go. With High School coming to an end Ive decided that film is my main passion in life, and my calling and that in order to live a successful and happy life i need to move far away from Texas. I aspire to be a film director, and I’d love to make movies about kids like me so that maybe they don’t feel alone. They don’t feel invisible and they don’t have to rely on poor representations of themselves to feel seen.