Why am I Team Conrad you ask? It’s quite simple, from the moment we heard him say the quote “My chest physically hurts to not tell her I’m in love with her” was the moment I knew that he was the one for Belly. It’s easy to say that Belly should be with Jeremiah because they are best friends and he knows so much about her. However, there is so much more to a relationship than knowing a person's likes and dislikes. There is a significant difference in the way Conrad cares for Belly. We can see how his happiness revolves around her and despite his tough exterior Conrad is very protective and caring of Belly. He has a sense of loyalty to her and a willingness to look out for her best interests. We see this being shown when they break up for the final time. Conrad pushes her away because he believes a) he is doing the right thing and b) because he believes she deserves better. Another example of why I am Team Conrad is for the reason that he is not as expressive with these emotions when he dislikes something being done. When Conrad and Belly first decided to embrace their relationship and be public at family gatherings, Jeremiah could not stand to be around them and made his disdain known by continuing to shut out Belly; who was his “best friend” by acting jealous and manipulative. Jeremiah even went as far on numerous occasions to let Belly know that his brother was going to break her heart. While on the other side Conrad never once talked about his brother and even went as far as to ask for his blessing before fully committing to Belly. Even when Conrad quite literally witnessed Belly and his brother making out on top of his car, in his sweatshirt, in front of his school, he holds back his true anger and instead of lashing out at them he makes jokes to pass off being upset. Another reason why I am Team Conrad is because Steven, Belly’s older brother is also Team Conrad, and this is important in itself. We all saw how Steaven and Jeremiah were close in season 1 but that kind of faded into season 2. One can only guess that he knows who is right for his sister and it surely isn’t Jeremiah. And I want to point out that whilst having familial support is not necessary it is certainly a plus and makes having relationships a tad bit easier. To end, I am rooting for Team Conrad because I truly believe there are infinite and only time will tell if this is true or not.

When I read a book, it’s to change the current mindset that I have on certain topics. I use books to help me become the person I want to be, to not be so fearful of the things I cannot control, and to learn to take action as soon as I realize I have control. The books that I’ve read have taught me to live my life with kindness. Regardless of all that I have gone through, to continue pushing despite every challenge that I face. Books carry me into my subconscious mind and light a path for me that I’ve always wanted to see. There is something about being so immersed in a book that just keeps me motivated, loving how I can picture the entire book scene by scene, and feel like a spectator on a street, or another customer at a different table. My goals have constantly changed and evolved because of the large range of books that I read or have once read. Changing the way I imagine love, stopping my judgments, and overall just creating a more open mindset to many things. Right now, I am reading “The Body Keeps the Score” and two poetry books about love and life. I currently want to be a neurosurgeon, and it’s proving to be a little challenging but not in the aspects I expected. I love reading The Body Keeps the Score because the doctor is so compassionate and truly feels for the patients they are interacting with. They treat them all as individual cases and even search for deeper meanings and answers despite how quickly others may give out a diagnosis. It’s changed my approach to many things, but mainly how I interact with others. I love to treat people with kindness and respect, just so they can enjoy themselves when they’re around me. Another personal goal of mine is to have more faith and remain optimistic. To not only give kindness to others but also myself. It’s a lesson I could benefit from, and so I like to pace myself and read one poem a day. Any random number that pops into my head, and I carry it with me through the day. I wish to have more gratuity for the life I'm living now. No thoughts of what ifs or any regrets. I wondered too much about things I could have done differently or wondered if I truly gave certain challenges my all. The poem books I'm reading as of right now, are helping me forgive myself. To allow me to know I am doing enough, and need to have a little more faith in myself and my goals. Books are a haven for me, allowing me to regain my focus on the things that mean the most to me. Even when I'm scared that I've lost my way.

I remember when I was younger, and the way my grandmother would treat me with the most gentle love imaginable. She was one of the most compassionate, and caring individuals you would blessed to meet. Giving to anyone that was in her path, offering jobs to younger kids simply to take out the trash, or giving gifts to the mail lady for Christmas. She was undeniably, my role model and my savior. I plan to live my life being as caring and compassionate as I can. I convey my compassion in every aspect of my life, and this does not change when regarding my career. When I become a neurosurgeon, I will focus on giving each of my patients compassion, patience, focus, and knowledge. Using my skill set and personal traits to create an environment in which they can trust me, and have faith in the success of their recovery or medical treatment. I have admired those who not only truly enjoy their jobs, but also love every moment. It is something I have found with neuro. The brain excites me, and I love to think of every possible factor that I can think of when given real-life cases that have been resolved within class. Knowing that one day, I will be discovering new knowledge or procedures from other doctors, and looking for an answer that other people may tell me does not exist. In short, I will use my compassion, and focus to become a caring neurosurgeon. One who will explain to their patient's families as much detail as they wish. Looking at cases, researching anything close to the current one I’m facing, and acknowledging that every case is truly unique. As of right now, I am in two academic programs and working full-time in an attempt to help build a better-looking resume for medical school. I am hoping to achieve thirty hours of clinical service by January. I will also be volunteering as well during the holidays. In the meantime, I fill out any scholarships that I can to reduce financial stress. I hope to cover as much tuition as I can for the next 3 years of undergrad. This is my dream, and I will accomplish it by any means necessary. If awarded, all funds go directly to my tuition as I am an out-of-state student who only struggles with my path financially. Since this is something that can be resolved by resources, and outside help I will not allow it to stop me from chasing my dreams. Even if it takes me longer than I imagined or planned, I am fine with the journey as long as I ultimately reach my desired destination.

I chose to major in neuroscience due to a relative who passed away while in a coma. I wanted to understand and learn more as I would possess the understanding of the families' feelings to empathize with them. One thing I wish to do is to assist families to understand what is occurring, and the procedures that will be taken, by breaking everything down to make it easier for them to understand. Currently, I am a supervisor at my job. I create the schedule for over 30 employees every week. I care for every one of them as if they were my children. Ensuring they don’t overwork themselves, accommodating the many life challenges they are facing, or even second jobs, and extracurricular activities. I am grateful for every single one of them, and so I ensure to treat them with the utmost respect and patience. I am confident that the skillset I possess right now to be so adaptive, compassionate, and detail-oriented will help me advance to become the neurosurgeon that I strive to be. With my department being HR, I am constantly having difficult conversations with my employees, and have learned many lessons. One lesson is that there is a time and place for honesty. Especially depending on the tone that you’re using when delivering such news. I know that with my patients there will be times in which I cannot positively deliver bad news. That is when I will deliver the news, and allow them time to process it so that I am not overwhelming them with too much information. When I become a neurosurgeon, my priority pertains to ensuring each of my patients has a good understanding of the treatment plan that I’ve prepared for them. Along with partnering with other doctors for assistance in finding the best possible route for every one of my patients. As previously mentioned, I am a very detail-oriented person, and so I am willing to go above and beyond to search for knowledge that I have not learned if it will help my patients. Along with ensuring that my compassion will allow me to provide my patients with a comfortable environment, despite the challenges they will be facing. The only thing that proves to be of issue, is my financial situation. I have received many compliments in only my first year of college assuring me that I have found my passion, and I intend to succeed no matter how difficult the path proves to be. If awarded, all funds go directly towards my tuition as I am an out-of-state student attending a university. The path that I am creating for myself is one of uncharted territory as my family before me was never been school-oriented. Nor have they attempted to become brain surgeons, but I am glad to have them by my side as I fight tooth and nail to achieve my dreams. I am currently working full-time and have still focused on my studies while being within an LLC program, and honors society. With this reward, I would be able to take a little more off of my plate, and that would simply be enough to help propel me forward.

Personally, being a leader is something that I think everyone develops in their own way. Using individual talents and unique traits that can elevate compatible traits in others. The easiest way for me to be a leader is to be as caring as possible. I want to ensure that those around me are not pushing themselves too hard. Understanding that their needs are the most important thing, and that's why we want to find ways to help them grow without burning out or pushing themselves too far. I am a leader by ensuring those around me can truly focus on themselves, so that when they have the correct and direct guidance they need; There is absolutely nothing stopping them. I think many times people truly do want to grow as individuals, but things can be very overwhelming when you're attempting to navigate things alone or with little guidance. Focusing on too many things can cause a disconnect between what a person wishes to be, and who they're showing up as. I like to help people reach their goals, allowing them to have a clear-cut focus on it because this is something I feel I have not had the liberty of doing. You will only reach so far if you've spread yourself too thin in multiple directions. Another way I lead others is by ensuring they understand it is better to try and fail than to be too afraid to attempt at all. I honestly struggle with this myself at times, and I like to make sure those who trust me understand I have the same fears that they do. That nobody is ever going to be perfect or get it right every single time. In some cases, there is never a right or wrong option and yet we try our hardest to find it. In short, I am a leader by taking care of those around me the same way I take care of myself. I sympathize, guide, and give compassion when it's needed. To understand that everyone is not walking the same path, and even when you wish that you're path was simpler or "better". You never forget how far you've come. Giving those around you a pat on the back for all they have been through, both known and unknown struggles. Give them the liberty to focus on themselves for once when they try to refuse to do so, and supply others with the guidance I wish I had myself.

Adversity is a word that I wish was foreign to my vocabulary. 

It has taught me how to constantly become adaptable, but where others see this as a strength of mine. I’ve grown to resent this trait. 

Simply put, I am tired of being so adaptable, constantly finding ten different paths to reach a goal others can easily obtain with the help they’ve received.

I should mention that I do not hold any negative feelings toward those that have been blessed with such amazing gifts. I would never wish such challenges on another human knowing the toll they took on me.

 To answer the question truthfully, at times I do not know where this power of mine comes from. But every time I have reached a challenge, I have overcome it. It may not have been the way I planned or thought I would resolve it. Nonetheless, I have preserved it every time. 

Maintaining a childlike hope to achieve things I have never seen done by those before me. Pushing through my fears, growing up and discovering things on my own as my parents have brought me as far as they could. 

I am eternally grateful for how far they have brought me, and so now I must fulfill my wishes on my own. Finding ways and opportunities to create that financial security I so badly crave. Knowing one day, all of this will be worth it. Every essay, every all-nighter, every study session, all the planning, everything. That’s enough for me. With every moment and opportunity given to me, I can elevate myself closer to the life I crave. Though my path is different than others, I'll wait as long as it takes to get there. As long as the destination is set, I’ll take as many detours as needed to learn however many lessons I need to. I don't wait to help others in the future, I've begun doing whatever I can now. I hate how difficult my life has felt just to simply live, and want to help others feel lighter in any way possible. I just want to give back in any way that I can, I speak the words I wish others would tell me. Take care of others in case they are facing challenges beyond the environment I know them in. Providing a love that should be given to others naturally and without reason.

 This upcoming winter, I will be making blankets to donate. I wish to give people comfort, a homemade blanket that’s a little more personal than just one you can purchase from a store. I have been attempting to find a hospital to volunteer at as well, but it’s taking longer due to having such a busy schedule. Attempting to balance many things at once, I don’t know how I’ll achieve it, but I know I have the resilience and patience to do so.

Taking risks is something that has seemed to never be in my nature. Being raise to be as careful as I can be, have a plan and then have a backup plan, and have a backup plan for the backup plan. For as long as I can remember, I have tried to stay away from risks my entire life. Choosing to pursue a career of being a researcher, avoiding the field in any way possible. The one thing I had always thought of doing since I was a freshman in high school was being a neurosurgeon. But being so afraid of a patient dying during surgery, I naturally declined this career path for years. As a freshman in college I had even declared my major to be chemistry, I was bound to become a researcher. When I got to school and met with my advisor, she spoke with me to create my next four-year plan. Seeing all of those chemistry classes, and stressful semesters, I had to think about what would happen if I continued to pursue this major: Could I deny myself the chance to explore neuroscience, and earn a degree for a job I'd never love? This summer, I took a psychology class at my professor was by far the kindest woman I had come across. Leaving feedback on every post, assignment, and personal reflection that I wrote. The best comment I had received from her was the simplest one by far: "You've found your passion in neuroscience." I think of part of me needed to hear that more than she'd ever know. I know many people can achieve these huge goals and risks never doubting if they've found their passion. On the other hand, up until I read those words I realized just how long I had questioned myself and my passions. Now, here I am pursuing my passion and biggest fear all at once. But the farther I dive into topics like epigenetics, psychology, and different forms of traumas, I have no choice but to realize just how much I love the human brain. I am enamored with it, and I'm so glad that I met the right people to help me finally take a bold step in life. Pursuing this field for me has been nothing but constantly taking risk after risk, and I'm sure along the way, I'll face more struggles and insecurities pursuing this field. But every waking moment that I spend feeling assured, I'll ensure to treasure those moments forever.

One of the scariest parts of being a patient is simply being out of control. Many times we're told to take control of our lives, but sometimes we are forced to hand control into the hands of others. We can only hope that they'll help us in the ways we need. I want to help those that feel out of control with their lives. I'm pursuing neuroscience, and many patients cannot control the effects that their brain has caused them. With limited options, if they choose to pursue a surgical route, I plan to be there for my patients every step of the way. It's a big responsibility, but it's also important that they feel safe with me. I cannot wait to see the looks on my future patients' faces as they have gained control of their hands for the first time. Or reducing the number of seizures they've been having. To regain that control they were robbed of in the first place. I am passionate when it comes to neuroscience, and I understand that not every patient will be a textbook case. That will never deter me from wanting to supply them with the best care that I can give them. People trust doctors to be there for them, and that's what we're meant to do. Simplify the years of knowledge that we have learned to help them understand each step of the process that they are facing. Reduce their fears of the percentages or numbers with their individual chances. My passion for neuroscience stemmed from a loved one. Wanting to help her in whatever way I could, however, since I was a child there was only so much that I could do. My family was given a choice, we could either let her undergo surgery while in a coma, or just let her go. There was nothing else that we could do knowing that we would never want to make that decision for her. So as much as it killed my family, they let her go. Relinquishing that urge for control, because there were so many more things that needed to be prioritized. Her well-being was at the very top of that list. Remembering that feeling, I want to be able to grant others at the very least that same choice. Not every surgery will have the same results my loved one was facing, and as long as that statement sticks. I'll fight to learn whatever I can to be able to provide the most options that I and other fellow doctors can conjure up.

Recently I had my manager tell me "You know the impact that you have on this building." and I playfully laughed it off and said, "No I do not." Caught in a lie she simply replied "Yes you do." Though I have not had the easiest path, I have always chosen to speak with kindness. From a young age, I was told that I was special. That my heart was as pure as could be, and my father could never quite grasp where I had gained such a personality. I am not a person that talks about myself much, mainly because I do not wish to be seen as vain. So throughout my life, I have remained humble and constantly quieted myself so that others may shine. However, despite my best efforts, I have always been placed in the spotlight. People take my words to heart, and so I ensure that I speak with kindness. To let them know there is someone out there that appreciates them simply because they exist. I see the way people's faces light up at such compliments, and it brings the most genuine smile to my face. Simply put, I use my uniqueness to show others that it is fine to let people know you appreciate them. I am not a fan of unspoken words, nor am I a fan of lies. But that's mainly because I was not built to be able to lie, I have far too many tells that give myself away. As cliche as it sounds, through kindness and honesty I have gained the admiration of others. I am aware of the power I have when I speak, and truthfully at times, it scares me. I know that I would never use my uniqueness for wrongful reasons, but I strongly dislike the face of people when I have hurt them unintentionally. I attempt to share my voice in any way possible, as I am soon to be a mentor at my university for incoming freshmen. I hope to be a role model for them as well, to allow them to be kind to themselves as they make such a drastic change in their lifestyle. I want to be a support system for them to discuss their fears with, and then tell them that they are not alone by sharing stories of my own. I want them to know that they are important, their future matters and their efforts are not overlooked. I simply share the same messages that I wish others would share with me. I have struggled and overcome, and am proud of myself for all that I have accomplished and will soon accomplish.

I aspire to become a doctor for two reasons, the first being my interest in medical surgeries. I am enamored with the brain and everything it is capable of both known and unknown. It is as beautiful as it is dangerous, and knowing this only draws me into neuroscience more and more every day. I am excited about the process of attending medical school, going through my residency, and then studying actual surgeons as they are performing surgeries. The second and more personal reasoning is to assist others in the way that I have wished for within my short lifetime. I am someone that truly loves to be involved, as long as the opportunities are in alignment with my career pathway. I am currently applying for a fellowship to increase my social skills and professional outlook. Along with volunteering at a neuroscience branch of a nearby hospital, whilst being a mentor within the Drews Scholars Program at Michigan State University. I am grateful for the opportunity to assist the incoming freshman with guidance and advice that I wished someone had given me. I love the idea of sharing all that I learned because it lightens the load upon someone else’s shoulders. As well as giving you a feeling of satisfaction that brightens your life. I love not only assist others but also myself as I deserve the same treatment. I am very much into self-help books, I am currently reading “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.” By Bessel van Der Kolk M.D. Where he discusses the multiple treatments provided to trauma victims. It does not discuss surgery within this book, and I enjoy this because there are many ways to help patients outside of surgery as well. Kolk discusses how many methods how he dealt with patients without surgery. Talking to them, building a bond, listening to their stories, etc. He gained an understanding of these patients outside of the simple textbook understandings and allowed them to be the complex human that they are. I think it is beautiful to allow someone to do this, as it allows self-expression. I hope to one day do the same for my patients. A specific theme that I love within this book is how the medical field failed certain patients with their treatment due to the lack of understanding that no case is “textbook”. Each patient is a living being, who has had different experiences, and the doctors should take this into account. I am a strong believer that every experience that we undergo allows for the opportunity to respond with our actions and mold us into the person we choose to be. Throughout my life, I have gone through a series of events, and lessons to shape me into who I am today. The most important thing I have carried with me throughout each lesson is to remember how badly I wanted someone to help me. I wish to be that outlet for others, to give them the help they need and deserve to become whoever they wish to be.

As I see it, college is an experience. Yet, the experience itself will always depend on you. My name is Kennedi Harris, and currently I am attending Michigan State University as an out-of-state student. So far is similar to many others, as I am trying to discover how to pay off my tuition alone. I knew the financial burdens that I would be facing when I applied to MSU. At the same time, this would never stop me from attending my dream school. I have and will always find ways to provide myself with the best possible future. To find opportunities that align with who I am, organize my thoughts, and determine the best course of action. To do this, I needed a strong foundation. So through the years, I have built a strong resume to ensure that I have a competitive edge over others. I have volunteered since the seventh grade, played sports, joined clubs, worked during high school, and maintained a 3.3 GPA while in high school. So initially after being accepted to MSU, I found myself continuing to build this competitive edge as I joined the Drew Scholars Program. Where I am not officially a peer mentor, ensuring that incoming freshmen can easily navigate through the weeds and bushes that I prevailed through alone. But also an active member, attending meetings and speaking with the program leaders to ensure that I have letters of recommendation available. I intend to become an RA as well with this reputation that I have built. This will reduce my tuition as well, as the problems of paying for room and board will not cease to exist. Next year, I will be working on campus to ensure that I am working off the debt as I attend school. I wish for a different life, one without insurmountable loans and stress right as I have entered adulthood. I apply for scholarships while school is in session and during the summer-time. Having the organization strategy of choosing two days within the week where I do nothing but apply for scholarships. As many as I possibly can without any distractions. Earning as much money as I can whether the amount is small or large, as I understand just how helpful scholarships can be if you apply yourself. I am also currently working full-time to pay off summer classes, minimal loans, and books for school. This summer I am attending a local community college to reduce the cost of my tuition. I receive grants from MSU and have been paying off the loans already with a budget that I have created myself. Lastly, I am currently searching for a way to achieve in-state tuition. Reading the policies of MSU, and learning the application process to lower the overall amount of tuition. As no one in my family has ever done this, I find myself constantly searching and reading for information that is unknown yet attainable. At times, truthfully I find this burden to be disheartening. Fearful that these aspirations may once again become dreams. That is why I cope with this fear, by focusing on taking action. To know that if I fail, I truly gave it my all, and to continue to find ways to restore whatever I may lose. I will endure whatever if it ensures that I get to live out my dream. As I have decided that my college experience is well-deserved however will not be determined by my financial standing.

My name is Kennedi Taylor Harris, I am currently an undergraduate attending Michigan State University. There are times when truthfully, I do not have the motivation to complete actions that dictate my future. When I am frozen in fear, doubtful, and cannot seem to believe in my abilities. Yet, these are the times when I push myself in ways that I have never done before, I cannot say that I love facing my fears while I am in the process of doing such an action. But the feeling of knowing that I did not fail myself in the means of trying, is what at some points in my life has kept me going. As I continue to grow through the years and unlearn so many negative burdens of perfectionism, cynicism, and self-doubt, I have grown so proud of my accomplishments. Both as a student and a human being. Simply put, my motivation is that despite every obstacle I preserved. Time and time again, through the doubt of others and myself, I have proved everyone wrong. I do not truthfully know the extent of my capabilities, but this does not drive me away from finding out just how far I can go. I find it hard to imagine what I can do, I am scared of having too much to lose. But, the fear of losing everything will never compare to giving up and believing that having nothing to lose is better. I imagine that I will always find hope in the darkest of days and that no matter what I will accomplish anything as long as I pursue it actively. Because I am capable of anything and everything, and infinity can be hard to picture at times. STEM has always ignited a fire within me, something that has constantly challenged me. I love to study a topic, sitting down for hours and just engulfing myself and losing myself in the knowledge handed down by a series of scientists, mathematicians, and more. Contemplating their work and the work of others, having the courage to attempt to discover formulas that were not known to even possibly exist. It takes a certain kind of mind, to dive into the unknown, with the belief that a known lies within an ocean of information. I wish for that same opportunity and strive to build my path finding the opportunities aligned with my goals. I do not know what exactly, I will discover, only time will tell. Especially since I am not limited to contributing in one way. But I do strive to assist my future patients in any way possible. Whether that entails surgery, counseling, support, and any knowledge that I can provide to ensure they are comfortable, safe, and mentally prepared for anything that may occur during their hard times. I guess in a way that is what I want to help my patients with specifically. I will hold hope for them in their times of worry, share my support and (everything wisdom words etc.) during their times of struggle, and help them approach the first step of recovery after surgery despite any fears that they have within themselves. One aspect that I am excited about when it comes to being a brain surgeon apart from surgery is the recovery process of my patients. Both mentally and physically, I hope to provide many resources including my support. I want to bring an impact on people’s lives, giving them the hope to live their lives. Defying all odds that their minds will provide, it will be a shared experience between myself and my patient. At that moment, I will provide hope when they are terrified to have it. I will provide confidence and assurance within myself, to the patients, and their families. Continuing their stories, both within and outside of surgical operations. During high school, I was terrible at Algebra 2, I excelled and took harder classes and did amazingly in Algebra 1. However, one aspect of algebra that I could never quite grasp was functions. Now sure, I could provide the kind of function that was presented in the example, and how it would be affected by the formula. But I struggled to truly grasp how to find the formulas themselves. I did not know then, but I struggled to apply the concept itself. I could repeat the steps of a formula and would know the rules. But only when the instructions told me to do so. Once I discovered that my weakness was knowing when to apply a certain concept, I attempted to study the problems. When this did not help, I focused on my strengths of finding patterns. This way I could look at the problem, assess the givens, and then apply the concept based on the structure of the equation and function. I know that through the years I have struggled less and less with applying specific concepts. As I recently completed a calculus project receiving a 120%, based on finding a mystery function. It took me a total of seven to eight hours to sketch the given function that met the description, assess that the problem itself required curve sketching, remember knowns and rules, and then apply everything to find the unknown variables within the equation. I felt so proud of myself, and remember celebrating with both my friends and myself. I have come such a long way in so many aspects, my strong will has and will continue to show throughout my entire academic journey. To me learning how to complete difficult tasks is a mere puzzle, and as long as I keep trying to find the correct pieces and do not just stare at them. I will solve anything and everything. I have to be willing to try and fail, otherwise, I would not be able to complete anything.

Every community is built from the ground up. Involving each individual to play a part so small they may never know the full extent of its worth. Unknowingly having a belief, that each action will have a greater reaction. This is why I volunteer. I am very rooted in my beliefs, and although my actions may be limited in rages of how much change they cause, this will never discourage me. I have improved the lives of others, and find inspiration by supplying what I feel is lacking within my own life. My life has required that I become extremely self-reliant, and through the years this has become a burden for me to carry. I wish to lighten the loads of others, the same way I wish the load to lighten upon myself. I continue to donate clothes within my community whenever I can. Around every two months, I am aware this is often. But I love to think of kids having newer clothes, and being able to fit in within their communities with no fee. To have clean shoes on their feet, and feel no shame or insecurity. Everyone deserves an equal footing, to obtain those same objects that are given to others with ease. Applying this belief into action, I have and will continue to bake and cook food for the homeless. I have even convinced my father to join me this Christmas in supplying food for the homeless. We will be making dinner such as macaroni and cheese, spinach, yams, and for dessert a variety of pies. I have been donating food since my first year in high school where I received this inspiration from a club I participated in. We baked pies for the homeless and started a food drive to give whatever we could away. Although we never did see the smiles on people's faces, I found satisfaction in knowing that someone would have food to eat on a day when they were questioning if they could. Nevertheless, my actions do not stop only at humans. I remember the very first time I had ever volunteered. I was around the age of twelve or thirteen and would volunteer at an animal shelter. “Natalie’s second chance”, where I tended to the dog and cats in hopes they would be adopted again. Providing them with grooming, nurturing, supplying food and water, and training them to prepare them for future owners. I have given in times of abundance and in times of my own need. I will continue to do so, to remind people they are not alone. As I need the reminder that I am not alone during my times of struggle, I volunteer to pass the hope and to feed into faith. The smallest action can bring someone even the smallest bit of satisfaction. That is more than enough for me to dedicate my time, energy, and money to any cause. This summer I will be volunteering at a nearby hospital, to provide patients with that same faith, hope, and reminder or companionship. None of us are alone, and to serve and uplift others is to serve and uplift yourself. As everyone in my eyes deserves a simpler life.

"I'm sorry for your loss." would be the first five words I would read as I woke up and checked my phone. I sank into my bed knowing exactly what that message meant, my grandmother who had been in a coma for months had passed away. As I lay in bed all day unable to move, hiding under the covers as if those messages were a monster in my closet and my cover would shield me from them. I did not eat, talk, or move for the rest of the day. Constantly replaying the constant hospital visits in my mind. The doctors told me she would get better, was this their definition of better? Did they know she would die the entire time I lay by her side, talking to her for hours about my day? Praying next to her that she would get better. Holding her hand, and telling her goodbye as if she could hear me. The following day, I went to my grandmother's house. Crawling into the bed that I slept in alongside her, and becoming devasted by her absence. I began to break down and cry, I don't remember for how long. Yet, I remember the concern my families face as I finally moved from her bed and stood at the top of the stairs staring at everyone planning her funeral. Throughout the entire process of my grandmothers' death, I felt numb or immense grief. My mother, whom herself has dealt with depression, anxiety, and BPD, could easily see that I was depressed. So she scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist, and from that day forward my life was never the same. Now having the label of "depression" and "anxiety" to finally describe the pain that I felt for days on end gave no relief. I lost all motivation as this label made me feel so confused, lost, and misunderstood. These two labels became my entire identity by accident, and I lost all motivation for everything. When the hospital finally released my grandmother's necklace, my family decided I would be the person to receive it. She wore this necklace every day, and so I did the same. Believing this would bring me closer to my grandmother even after death, as long as I had this necklace, I had my grandmother. It became my beacon of hope through this dark time. I remember wearing this necklace for four years straight after my grandmothers' death. Never taking it off, and explaining to everyone its' important meaning to me. It was my motivation to continue onward, as my grandmother would never want me to give up. I was doing so much better, doing my homework, and eating, I felt that I had truly healed from her death. Until I lost the necklace. I remember crying, screaming, and tearing my room apart for this necklace. I couldn't find it anywhere, calling myself stupid and irresponsible for losing such an important thing to my grandmother. I hated myself for it for years. As if I had failed her entirely by losing this necklace. For over three years, I have been carrying on without this necklace. Rebuilding my faith and love for myself and my family. Understanding that my grandmother will always be by my side regardless of her necklace being gone. There are days when I wish I still had it, and instead, I sit and think of my grandmother being beside me. Now being a freshman in college, aiming to earn a degree in neuroscience, the passing of my grandmother made me so resilient. Fighting through my depression, and anxiety choosing to live every day to carry on the memory of my grandmother. Instead of using a necklace to do so. I have become so obsessed with the brain, and how someone can be trapped within their mind the same way that my grandmother was. This year alone, I have written essays regarding mental health, cognitive distortions, and neurosurgery, and how I wish to improve every patient's life with or without surgery. To help each patient understand their brain, and not fear it. Knowing your diagnosis can be a blessing or a curse, however, when given the proper resources for each patient you can improve the lives of so many. As I am currently reading "The body keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolik, I am learning that not everything is a textbook diagnosis. You need to know your patient, their life, their struggles, and then this is how you improve their lives. I aspire to not only discover more about comas but also about the human brain as a whole. I have grown so much through the death of my grandmother, and I am proud of where I am based on every struggle that I have faced in my mind. Overcoming my depression and anxiety every day through the help of therapy, journaling, reading, meditation, and spirituality. I am still discovering myself I will admit, however, I know that my purpose in life is to assist others in any way that I possibly can.