Being "the new kid" was the easiest choice I have ever made. And yes, I said choice, because I chose to switch schools my junior year. Accepting that I didn't belong at my old school was harder. All of my friends had graduated, I wasn't social enough to try and get into other circles, and I was cut out of the one I thought I belonged in. So leaving was easy and it was the best decision I have ever made for myself. At Memorial High School, I have learned more about myself than I thought was possible. Of course, when leaving North I lost some friends-- I think, I don't know if I was ever really friends with anyone there-- but at Memorial, I have met some of the most important people in my life and I am eternally grateful. Switching schools made me realize that it's okay to take risks and start with a clean slate. Before making that change I don't think I ever would have been brave enough to move two and a half hours away from home. I always thought I would stay at home, go to university down the hill, see my mom every day, and be the same person I always have been. But I know I can handle change. I can move to a new state, make new friends, and keep my old ones. I can choose to be a new person and start a new life. And at Luther College, I know I won't be doing it alone this time. Being "the new kid" has given me so much to be thankful for. Being "the new kid" has allowed me to be braver, kinder, and better. I am a better person now than I was then. So, I know I will be okay. I can't say I wasn't scared to switch schools. I was terrified, but I was ready. I had outgrown North High School, and I survived the change in my life that followed. I am outgrowing Memorial as well, and I know I will survive the change again. I am ready. I thrived being "the new kid" once, and I can thrive being "the new kid" again. I trust myself more, I trust the relationships I have formed at my new school, and I trust my teachers and my role models. I trust that I can survive through change. Being "the new kid", allowed me to be a new me.

As a fourth and fifth grader, I joined the homework club. My elementary school would have high school and college volunteers come in and help us with our homework. And though I didn't need the academic help, I needed the socialization. I also wanted my mom to know my work was getting done so she could help my little brother with his. I am now a senior in high school and a member of the Memorial High School's National Honor Society, I help organize volunteer opportunities such as blood drives and community fundraisers and volunteer at my old elementary school as a homework club tutor. Being a volunteer means to inspire, aid, and encourage others. Being on the volunteer end of homework club was always something I knew I would do. Though my career aspirations have changed a hundred times over, homework club has been a constant goal. In a way, I feel as if I am thanking the volunteers who helped me and I hope I can begin to inspire the kids I am helping now. Being a teacher means to inspire, aid, and encourage the growing minds of tomorrow. I want to be a third-grade teacher and I know prefacing my college education with a "teacher-like" volunteer role is the way to go. My dreams have been solidified and I know homework club is the beginning of these kids making their own dreams as well. Every day, I strive to inspire. I aim to inspire my peers, my siblings, and the children I spend two afternoons with a week. I want to inspire them to construct new dreams and aspirations. I want to aid them in achieving their goals. And I want to encourage them to reach beyond what they already know they can do. In my community service with the Putnam Heights Elementary homework club, I now have a deeper understanding of what it means to inspire, aid, and encourage. I understand what it means to be a mentor and role model. I understand how the earliest of education is the root of who these children can be. Because of my volunteer work, I know I am on the right path. Homework club solidified the foundation of my future at age nine and again at 17. I am eternally grateful for my opportunity to complete my own circle, and as an educator, I will inspire, aid, and encourage my own students to begin and complete their own.

I am 271 days clean. Before that, I was 216 days clean. Mental health is always at the forefront of my mind. Whether it be my own or someone else's. I am fortunate enough to have a diagnosis. In July 2021, I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety Disorder, as well as Adjustment Disorder. At that point, I had been self-harming for over a year and suffering from panic attacks for two. I never wanted to die; I just wanted to disappear. I didn't think my life was worth living, but I knew it wasn't bad enough to die either after all, "other kids have it a lot worse" right Patty? She was my first therapist, and for a while, I thought she would be my last. I never made a plan. I never wanted to die. I never wanted attention. I just wanted to stop hurting, or at least to control what hurt. No seventh grader should be hiding their arms under sleeves, crying themselves to sleep, or stop eating because they don't feel worthy or important. No seventh grader should feel the way I felt, or feel guilty about feeling it. I know now that my anxiety and depression are genetic and chemical. I take medication to help, but sometimes that suffocating feeling returns. I have learned when I can push through and when I need to rest, but that is only because I have people in my life who taught me how to listen to my body. I want to be that person for someone else, and I want to start earlier. As an elementary educator, I know I won't be able to have the same conversations I had with my mentors at 16 years old, they'll be eight. However, I know that I can still teach kids about empathy and compassion for others, but most importantly I can teach them how to be compassionate to themselves. I can teach children how to fail and learn from it. I can teach children how to identify their feelings and communicate them with others. I can teach children to never feel guilty about being sad or scared. And I can teach children that they will always but worthy. There is so much in childhood that builds foundations for adolescence and adulthood, building a strong foundation of courage, confidence, and compassion, will change not only their futures for the better but also the futures of children after them. Every child should know their feelings are valid. Mental health is a journey, and no matter how bumpy, I want to help my students begin their own.

Since I was young, I've always loved reading. I loved the public library, the school library, and silent reading time. I've always loved cold rainy days when I can stay indoors and cuddle up with a good book. I got my first pair of reading glasses in third grade. They had the ugliest red oval rims but I thought they were the best thing to ever happen to me. Since I was young, I've been a Ravenclaw. Always trying to solve problems and create new things, always trying to learn and teach others all the amazing things I learned. I excelled in reading and writing, in math, and in spelling. Of course, over the years this has started to look different; math has gotten harder, writing is now AP Literature and I don't have a spelling class anymore, but I still have the same love for reading and learning. These days I'm no longer reading "Magic Tree House" or "The Boxcar Children", but I've traded the childhood stories for classics "Pride and Prejudice" and "The Great Gatsby" or modern works such as "Turtles All the Way Down" and "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo". I spend my time enthralled by these other lives still the same as when I was eight. I continue to explore the creative minds of various authors and experience lives I'll never live. I continue to learn and I continue to love every second. At school, I am in the top 10% of my class. I take more AP courses than normal ones because I like the challenge and I love being surrounded by others who like the challenge too. I strive for perfection and academic achievement. I thrive in academic competition. I love to learn but more than that I love to learn with others who love to learn. I am a type-A workaholic and I always try to prove myself worthy of academic praise. I will read and write myself silly for a lifetime because I genuinely believe that is the only way to our ideas alive forever and to share them with the world. I will continue to write stories and poems about far-off lands and read the ones shared by others. I will continue to fall in love with fictional characters even though they are just ink on paper, and I will always encourage others to do the same. Creativity was born to create change-- big and small-- and to educate the world. I know I am a Ravenclaw because every principle I lead my life by is a Ravenclaw house trait; intellect, learning, creativity, academics, etc.. I am proud to be an academic overachiever, a book lover, and a creator because those are the things that make me who I am. I am proud to be a Ravenclaw.

My dream home isn't lavish or over the top. Not the home of President Barbie or Stereotypical Barbie. My house is large, with room for a family a couple of dogs and cats-- particularly a King Charles Spaniel, a Corgi/Golden Retriever mix, and a fluffy black cat. My house is in a suburban town somewhere in the Midwest, somewhere safe and pretty. With a sidewalk so my kids can learn how to ride their bikes safely and a large lawn for them to run around in. I'll sit up on a swinging bench on the wrap-around porch reading a romance novel from the library upstairs. I'll have full floor-to-ceiling shelves and plenty of options, and I'll never have time to read them all but the books will always be there looking pretty. Of course, there's a small shelf in there full of children's books for my kids too. In the kitchen, there are dark sage green cabinets and gold fixtures, but the kids' drawings cover the stainless fridge. My third-grade lesson plans litter the island and my husband will be cooking away at whatever new recipe we find online. Off the kitchen, the dogs lay on the couch and the kids watch TV with the sunlight filtering in from the large window-- with the cat sleeping beneath the rays. At dinner we sit around the oak dining table that my husband and I had in our first apartment ten years ago, chips and stains scattered across the worn-down surface. The chairs are new, he bought them as an anniversary gift-- romantic. The kids splash around in the bathtub as we clean up for bed, rubber ducks swim with Barbies and Kens "at the beach" they claim, crazy imaginations they seem to have. Maybe my kids will be authors or actors someday. Off to bed they go, in their rooms they chose the decorations for, maybe one is rainbows with dinosaurs and one is princesses and pirates. Sound asleep for the night, my husband and I return to our room. The master en suite has his and hers countertops and sinks. A large shower in the corner with a too-full laundry basket beside it-- tomorrow's problem. After brushing my teeth, I head to the walk-in closet and pick out a top and skirt for work tomorrow. Pushing the hundreds of pillows onto the floor, I then climb into bed and call it a night. My dream house is where I make my memories. But in reality, it's nothing more than some walls, doors, windows, and a roof. My dream home is the people I make my memories with, my dream home is a family, with a couple of dogs, a cat, and a husband to fall asleep next to each night.

I am Team Conrad. I have been since I read the books. Especially when watching the Amazon Prime series, I am Team Conrad because he and Belly have a real connection that Belly and Jeremiah do not. Belly is in love with Conrad while she is infatuated with Jeremiah. Conrad is in love with Belly while Jeremiah loves the idea of having her when Conrad doesn't. Belly has loved Conrad since she was ten years old. Loving someone for so long isn't a feeling that can be turned off with a light switch. Laurel knows how Belly feels about saying to Susannah, "For Belly, Conrad is the sun, and when the sun comes out, all the stars disappear" (S1, E7). Belly's world revolves around Conrad, and Jeremiah is a dazzling star in her solar system. He only shines for her when she is so sure she can't have Conrad. After Conrad rejects her in season 1, only then does Belly begin to look at Jeremiah. But as soon as Conrad made it known to her that he did want her, she went to him and left Jeremiah and his stars to disappear in Conrad's light. After Conrad broke up with Belly on prom night-- not the best move but he was grieving so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt-- and then told her "It was a mistake" and that he didn't want her, "never did" (S2, E2), and then they agreed to be just friends, only then did Belly let the stars come out again and she went to Jeremiah. Jeremiah has always been her second choice whether she wants to believe so or not. Belly was too clouded by the hurt of what Conrad had done to her while they were both grieving to believe him when he said, "I still want you. Of course I do" (S2, E8). But Jeremiah was a dazzling star and the sun had set. But the sun will always rise again. Of course, as all humans do, Conrad has made his fair share of mistakes. From breaking up with Belly on prom night, arguing with her at his mom's funeral, and keeping his feelings for her hidden until it's too late. But he only did those things because he so thoroughly believes he doesn't deserve her. Conrad even tells her, "Jere was the right choice" (S1, E7). Conrad never once says a single bad word against Jere because he wants Belly to make her own choice, make the choice that will make her the happiest. Even when she doesn't choose him, he sucks up his own feelings and leaves Belly and Jere to be happy even though it hurts him (S2, E8). He did the same thing earlier when Belly said she wanted to be friends because that was what would make her happy. While Jeremiah only cares about Belly's happiness if it means she is happy with him. He doesn't want her to be with Conrad because he feels the need to be better. Jeremiah doesn't want to be second place to Conrad anymore. He tells Belly not to be with Conrad and that "he will break your heart" (S2, E1) even though at that time being with Conrad is what would make her happy. Jeremiah doesn't even know her favorite candy is Sour Patch Kids, but Conrad does (S2, E8). Jeremiah doesn't know the bare minimum about Belly, only that he wants to have her so that Conrad can't. Belly and Conrad are in love. Belly and Jeremiah are infatuated.

I don't think there is a harder question in the world than "What's your favorite book?". Then, I was met with its evil step-sister, "What book would you have everyone read?" After thinking about this question for way too long, I finally have an answer. If I could have everyone in the world read just one book, it would be "We Were Liars" by E. Lockhart. I sat down and read this book in less than 2 days, It only took that long because I'm a slow reader, and I could not set it down. It's the perfect book for anyone because the plot is not driven by romance, but there's still some sprinkled in. It's not a thriller but scenes will have you on the edge of your seat. And it's a book that just really makes you think. The plot twist is heart-wrenching-- those poor dogs! When I was reading the last couple of chapters my stepdad texted me and said "I'm downstairs if you need to talk or anything"... I didn't mean to be crying so loudly but that book had me sobbing. "We Were Liars" is one of my go-to book recommendations for Young Adult readers and it always will be. "We Were Liars" had my mom in tears, my teacher in tears, and friends in tears. Not that I tell them to read so that they cry it just comes with the territory. I truly do believe that "We Were Liars" by E. Lockhart has a little bit of everything for everyone.

As cliche as it sounds I to help people. And as cliche as it sounds, I want to go to college, get a job, and change people's lives. But I am living, breathing, walking cliche and so be it, these are the things I want for my future. I don't want to create a better life for myself, I want to create a better life for others. The best way I know how to do that is through education. By educating the young minds of our futures I know I can make an impact on others. I would use the money from this scholarship and other scholarships to pay for school so that I can be a teacher and be an advocate for the young children who need it. My parents won't be able to help me pay for college, so I'll be paying for it myself. My dream school is Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. If you knew me beyond this essay, you would know it is just my luck that the perfect school for me is an out-of-state, private college. Despite the cost, however, I want to go to Luther to study Elementary Education and Music. For a little background, in elementary school, my younger brother, Jackson, struggled with both math and reading. It wasn't until fourth grade when his teacher advocated for him to get into the special education program that he finally started to catch up to his peers. Being on track helped him gain confidence both in and outside the classroom. Now a sophomore, Jackson is a class clown and avid athlete running JV cross-country and wrestling varsity. 6 years ago, I was worried he'd still be learning to read chapter books, let alone academically qualify for sports. Unfortunately, my youngest brother has yet for someone to advocate so strongly on his behalf. Harrison is entering fourth grade at a Kindergarten reading level. Since he is at his mom's house every other week, my mom (his stepmom), his dad, and I struggle to advocate for him ourselves. I've been struggling with this a lot lately and I've even begun to feel guilty about the idea of leaving next year knowing he hasn't improved in years. The one idea that keeps me from staying home is knowing that getting an education to be a teacher means I'll be able to be an advocate for my students and I won't have to worry about any of them not getting the academic support they need to succeed. No eight-year-old should have to worry about being bullied on the bus for not knowing how to read. I will not let one of my students walk home from the bus stop with their glasses askew and tears on their cheeks because I failed to teach them properly. They are just kids, and sometimes they just need someone to help them a little extra. As a teacher, I will be an advocate for my students in every aspect of the word. I will go the extra mile to help my students gain confidence and grow their curiosity. I just need to go to college first. And somehow, I need to pay for it. So, I will continue to write essay after essay and apply for scholarship after scholarship so that I can be an advocate. So, as cliche as it sounds, I want to help people; I want to go to college, get a job, change people's lives, and create a better life for those struggling to do so themselves.

As cliche as it sounds I to help people. And as cliche as it sounds, I want to go to college, get a job, and change people's lives. But I am living, breathing, walking cliche and so be it, these are the things I want for my future. I don't want to create a better life for myself, I want to create a better life for others. The best way I know how to do that is through education. By educating the young minds of our futures I know I can make an impact on others. I would use the money from this scholarship and other scholarships to pay for school so that I can be a teacher and be an advocate for the young children who need it. My parents won't be able to help me pay for college, so I'll be paying for it myself. My dream school is Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. If you knew me beyond this essay, you would know it is just my luck that the perfect school for me is an out-of-state, private college. Despite the cost, however, I want to go to Luther to study Elementary Education and Music. For a little background, in elementary school, my younger brother, Jackson, struggled with both math and reading. It wasn't until fourth grade when his teacher advocated for him to get into the special education program that he finally started to catch up to his peers. Being on track helped him gain confidence both in and outside the classroom. Now a sophomore, Jackson is a class clown and avid athlete running JV cross-country and wrestling varsity. 6 years ago, I was worried he'd still be learning to read chapter books, let alone academically qualify for sports. Unfortunately, my youngest brother has yet for someone to advocate so strongly on his behalf. Harrison is entering fourth grade at a Kindergarten reading level. Since he is at his mom's house every other week, my mom (his stepmom), his dad, and I struggle to advocate for him ourselves. I've been struggling with this a lot lately and I've even begun to feel guilty about the idea of leaving next year knowing he hasn't improved in years. The one idea that keeps me from staying home is knowing that getting an education to be a teacher means I'll be able to be an advocate for my students and I won't have to worry about any of them not getting the academic support they need to succeed. No eight-year-old should have to worry about being bullied on the bus for not knowing how to read. I will not let one of my students walk home from the bus stop with their glasses askew and tears on their cheeks because I failed to teach them properly. They are just kids, and sometimes they just need someone to help them a little extra. As a teacher, I will be an advocate for my students in every aspect of the word. I will go the extra mile to help my students gain confidence and grow their curiosity. I just need to go to college first. And somehow, I need to pay for it. So, I will continue to write essay after essay and apply for scholarship after scholarship so that I can be an advocate. So, as cliche as it sounds, I want to help people; I want to go to college, get a job, change people's lives, and create a better life for those struggling to do so themselves.

Everyone thinks their mom is a superhero. I don't. I've never thought that because I know my mom is a badass superhero. How did my mom file and finalize a divorce, move across town, raise two kids, work full-time, buy groceries, clean the house, do laundry, play Barbies, make cookies, help with homework, go to the gym, eat, and sleep? I'll never understand how she did it all. She must be a superhero with twelve arms, teleportation, and time-traveling powers. There's no other explanation for how she did it all and nobody else batted an eye. When I say nobody, I mean just me and my little brother. My mom never let on to our financial struggles or the burdens she faced alone. In the divorce, my mom wanted it to be quick and painless. There was no custody battle or battles between lawyers for possessions or anything. My mom didn't even request child support, not that my dad would've had enough money to pay for it as it was. My mom paid for everything herself on a single nurse's income. The mortgage, her car, field trips, medical bills. Everything. Yet with all these financial responsibilities she still made sure Jackson and I felt like normal privileged kids. Jackson and I always had new clothes, new shoes, and new school supplies. Had she not told me last year that for a time Goodwill was even too expensive, I never would've known. I'm sure childhood naivety played a strong role in my ignorance but even when I looked at the kids in my class I felt more like the rich kids with trendy clothes and clean shoes than the poorer kids in hand-me-downs and worn-out soles. I never worried about whether Santa would come or if I'd have a cake on my birthday. I was never worried about if we'd have food for dinner. We always had snacks and cereal for breakfast. My mom would try to buy the off-brands, but I could tell the difference and wouldn't let that slide-- so name-brand it was. Our dinners weren't lavish but frozen pizzas and my mom's special "white-trash-hotdish" (microwaved ramen, ground beef, and frozen peas mixed in a bowl) were enough for the three of us. She would always try to pick up shifts when she could but given my dad's (social/emotional) distance and unconventional work schedule, there was little she could do. When she wasn't working, she was with me and my brother. In elementary school, Jackson struggled a lot academically. He was behind in math, spelling, and especially reading, so a lot of her time was focused on him. He would get frustrated with homework almost every night and it was only worse at my dad's; he wouldn't even ask if we had homework let alone make us do it. When Jackson was upset, there was no room for anyone else. So I took care of myself. I did homework on my own, I didn't tell anyone when I struggling. So now 8 years later, and almost 18 years old, I am a perfectionist with mild/severe generalized anxiety. But I blame that on genetics because my mom did everything right. Jackson is right on track and even excelling in his academics. I am in mostly AP classes and have a 3.97 GPA. My mom is my best friend and the world's most bad-ass superhero.

Music gave me something to live for and allowed me to see a that's world worth living in. Throughout my time in high school music has been my only constant companion. Between broken friendships, cheating boyfriends, switching schools, and working through severe depression and anxiety, I have always been able to find myself in music. My middle school bus rides were filled with loud music playing in my ears. The peace I found on my bus rides to and from school was my saving grace. When I was struggling with thoughts I couldn't understand, I knew I could find a lyric that put my feelings into words. A personal life raft keeping me afloat in an unsettled sea. My earbuds were the key to utopia and my phone was a map around that unfamiliar world. As I've grown up, I have made friends in the choir room and lost them there too. From teachers I know will be there for any problem at any time and practice rooms to scream in, music has given me my safe haven. When I left my first-hour class to cry on the choir room floor my first director, Mrs. Lofy, was there for me the entire time. When I couldn't face the abstract ideas of calculus, Mrs. K, my new director, always had the door open. There is no safer place for a choir kid than the choir room. No safer place for a band kid than the bad room. No safer place for an orchestra kid than the orchestra room. And there is no safer place for a performer than a stage. The stage is my home. I will never be happier than I am performing on a stage. My love for music has opened my eyes to new cultures and has given me a space where I am safe to be unapologetically myself. My love for music has kept me alive. My goal as a teacher someday will be to share my love of music with every child that walks through my door. My goal is to give my students a safe space filled with love, joy, and culture. My goal is to allow children to be unapologetically them, and give them the space to find themselves. My goal is to make sure those children know they are not alone. My love for music allowed me to see a world worth living in. My love for music kept me alive.

There is no greater feeling as a fourth grader than when the teacher leaves the room and says, "Kendall is in charge until I come back". Even as a fourth grader, I wanted to be a leader. I wanted to lead the class in math lessons, reading, science, and social studies. I was a student council historian as a fourth grader, after running a campaign for peer voting and being the new kid, this felt like the greatest accomplishment. I ran for vice president the following year and was accepted into that position as well. I loved being a leader when I was ten years old, and I will love being a leader when I am sixty. Being a leader fuels my goals and aspirations. From being a creative problem solver, an active participant on teams and in the classroom, as well as growing my confidence to inspire others, I know I am a leader through and through. As an active show choir team member and theater nerd, I have learned how to think on my feet and solve problems quickly. I distinctly remember my last show choir competition sophomore year. All the girls were getting dressed and Katie came up to me holding her zipper -- the one I had attempted to fix twice that season already-- in one hand and skirt in the other. We had to begin warm-ups in 15 minutes, and I had no extra zippers or my sewing machine. So, I did the only thing I could do... I sewed Katie into her skirt, gave our stage tech, Karlie, a seam ripper, and crossed my fingers the stitches would hold. Thankfully, they did. And though that was my last time on stage with that team, I will never forget the overwhelming joy on Katie's face when she knew she would still go on. I will continue to take this story with me anytime I feel stuck in a pickle with no way out, sometimes the best way out is with a needle and thread. Unfortunately, a needle and thread are not the solution to every problem. For as long as I can remember, teachers will put the naughty kids next to me, they say it's because I'm "a good influence". And sure, I'll take it, but I just participate. I love participating in class discussions and debates. I love to hear opposing sides and other people's stories. I love motivating my classmates to join in because there can never be too many voices in a group discussion. Participating in class is the best way to learn and to help others learn as well, which is why it is an important attribute of a leader, and why I am so proud of displaying it. Another important attribute of a leader is confidence. I have been working on my self-confidence since the beginning of my freshman year of high school. I know that confidence is a difficult attribute to attain, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to help others find theirs. My main goal is to be a third-grade teacher and I know that working with such moldable kids will have a significant impact on their confidence. My goal as a leader is to inspire others to be leaders. I know I couldn't have been the leader I am without my choir director, Mrs. Lofy. To her, I say thank you, every day I try to inspire others the way you inspired me. I am a leader, and my goal is to inspire others to be leaders too.