Grieving for someone who is alive is devastating. My dad has always been in and out of my life from an extremely young age. After losing custody of my brothers and me, due to social-emotional issues, trying to self-medicate. He and my mom got a divorce and he struggled with having a stable life. Many times he was suicidal, but he kept the hope of getting us back. My dad couldn’t keep it together, and has isolated himself from the world. He needed help, but nothing worked. He took himself out of our lives and is now homeless. I want to ensure the people who need the most help always get it. While this is a response to discuss loss and mental health, grief of someone still alive is also a tragic form of loss, especially as a daughter with an absent father. My dad has always had a severe alcohol addiction. Once he met my mom, it became more- a narcotics addiction. My parents ended up losing custody of my younger brothers and me when I was seven and they were one and two years old. We still had visitation, but then my parents were put on a no-contact order with us, it felt like the world I knew was truly coming to a stop. By that time, I was entering my fourth grade year and felt like I had lost both of my parents. By seventh grade, my grandparents had adopted my brothers and me. I grieve my father because, since their journey through addiction, only my mom has made a full recovery. I keep regular contact with her. My dad has since been overcome with shame. Since he shut his family out, he relied on temporary friends who can’t keep him afloat forever. From when he first lost us, his addiction issues didn’t get any better. He fell into many depressive episodes, and couldn’t keep his head above water, socially or emotionally. I’ve always worried for my dad’s wellbeing. After I was adopted, I tried to contact him as much as possible in hopes he would feel that his life had value. He felt like he was an embarrassment and it only pushed him farther away. My interest in criminal psychology peaked from all the mental health awareness around me from a young age. As I grew older, I realized what I was meant to do with my life. It became clear to me I wanted to help people who were at the lowest points in their life with nowhere to go. My dad was also in and out of jail, and being in jail feels hopeless- whether it’s known or not- and people in that sector need help sometimes more than others. They need help and support to know it’s not the end of the road, that they can keep going. Suicide and mental health is a very real issue that must be taken care of. No one wants to lose a loved one, friend, partner, or child. In my case, it’s my parent. I grieve and worry at the same time. By helping people who feel hopeless, they can also share their stories of their success in being able to rise from their situation. What you do for one person can go a long way and help many others. I want to be the start, but not stop at just addicts and criminals. With just psychology, I can help many people see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel like there can always be a new, happy opportunity ahead.