Hobbies and interests
Crocheting
Singing
Hiking And Backpacking
Photography and Photo Editing
Reading
Fantasy
Science Fiction
Realistic Fiction
Literary Fiction
Women's Fiction
Psychology
I read books daily
Kelli Fry
1,245
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FinalistKelli Fry
1,245
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FinalistBio
I have spent 20 years as a stay at home mom to my 5 amazing children. It has been a struggle to make ends meet on only one income, but we found a way to manage. I have fully enjoyed every moment I spent with my children. I am now looking forward to the next chapter of my life as I pursue my dream of helping others through Psychotherapy and Social Work. I am currently attending school for my BS in Sociology. After I complete my undergraduate degree I plan to earn my Master of Social Work. I hope to work part time in Family Case Management as well as taking on Family Therapy clients. I have always been drawn to why people act the way they do and helping them to understand their patterns of behavior. I hope to take both the the things I learn in my education experience as well as the things I've learned throughout my life experience to help others. I look forward to making a difference in the world, one person at a time.
Education
Arizona State University-Tempe
Bachelor's degree programMajors:
- Clinical, Counseling and Applied Psychology
Mechanicsburg High School
High SchoolMiscellaneous
Desired degree level:
Bachelor's degree program
Graduate schools of interest:
Transfer schools of interest:
Majors of interest:
- Social Work
Career
Dream career field:
counseling
Dream career goals:
Psychotherapist and Social Work
Obituary Coordinator
Lancaster Newspapers Inc2004 – 20051 year
Sports
Hiking
IntramuralPresent
Arts
Mechanicsburg Senior High
TheatreAnnie How to Succeed in Business Anything Goes The Wizard of Oz Guys and Dolls1995 – 2000
Public services
Volunteering
MPC Youth Group — Youth Advisor2017 – 2020
Future Interests
Advocacy
Volunteering
Philanthropy
William M. DeSantis Sr. Scholarship
One of the most important lessons I've learned in life is that we must cultivate the skills we lack. When I was young I believed the opposite. I believed that we each had our specific gifts. I believed it was ok to be less than talented in one area because we made up for it in other areas. I believed that we were who we were. Over time, as obstacles came and life marched on, I began to understand that while we may not be born with certain qualities, we have an entire lifetime to work towards learning new skills. For me, one of those skills was patience.
Patience was never a virtue I sought out. As a person with ADHD it seemed to be an unattainable quality. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, why should I push myself out of my comfort zone to attempt to learn a skill that seems beyond reach when I had so many other great qualities? Oh to be young and so sure of life again. I used to think I knew so much, but as the years have passed I have learned that I know very little of all there is to know in the world.
In 2005 my daughter was born with a rare chromosome disorder. It was then that I spent several years learning, begrudgingly, about patience. I didn't want to learn this skill, and I fought against it until the lack of patience nearly broke me. When I was broken, attempting to seek answers that would never come, that is when patience found me.
Patience is important to me because it allows me to live my life. For years I was in a high stress mode, incapable of slowing down, desperately seeking answers and assurances that my daughter would be alright. I wish I knew then what I know now, but I had to live through that time, and those lessons, in order to get to where I am today.
After great struggle, and a steep learning curve, I have learned that patience is the key to living a life that is full. With patience you don't spend hours, days, years searching. With patience you're able to see the world around you and accept it as it currently is. You are able to have hope for the future, but you're also able to enjoy the here and now. Patience is a virtue worth learning.
Once I began to learn about the true nature of patience, I became curious about other skills I could learn. Over the years, as I have identified areas of weakness I have taken the time to explore those skills and have worked to attain them. Now, at age 40, I am taking all I have learned and using those skills to earn my degree. I want to use my degree to help others. I hope to work in the field of Social Work so I can make a difference in the lives of others, but mostly in the lives of other parents who have children with an uncertain future. While my new found skills will certainly help me on this journey, I know my personal experience will also help me to care for others going through difficult times.
Bold Be You Scholarship
Boundaries.
It has taken many years to learn who I am and how to honor who I am. When I was younger I was plagued by obligations, traditions, and internalized responsibilities. These were the things I was raised to believe were the most important values to hold. I was raised to believe that it didn't matter if I was upset, it mattered more that I not upset someone else. I was raised to be "nice".
Through many years of therapy I have been able to realign and reset my values. While this has been great for me and my well-being, some of the people in my life have not seen this as a positive. In many of those cases, those people had benefitted from my warped values. Some of those people attempted to convince me that my new values were bad. That was when I began creating the boundaries that I now use to guide my life.
Boundaries are a tactic used to to define where one person ends and another person begins. Boundaries are not a way to change another person's behavior, they are a way to acknowledge what someone will and won't allow in their life. My boundaries help me to stay present and question whether a person, situation, or environment are harmful to me. If one of these things is harmful, I find a way to remove or mitigate the harm. I can speak up for myself, ask for accommodations, or if necessary, remove myself.
Boundaries help me to maintain emotional and mental health and keep me on track towards becoming the best version of myself.
Bold Memories Scholarship
Seventeen years ago I gave birth to my second child, and in that moment my life changed forever.
My pregnancy had been absolutely perfect, no complications, but moments after my daughter was born the room filled with doctors. The first sign of concern was that she had bilateral club feet. Due to this congenital defect the doctors began to suspect other possible issues. It took three weeks to finally get an answer, but that answer only provided more questions. My daughter has a rare chromosome disorder, there were 33 reported cases in the United States. There were no experts, we had no answers.
At the time of my daughter's birth I was a young mother of one other child, age 2. I was still constantly facing judgement for being young and I was often treated with disdain or even ignored. I had very low self-confidence and second guessed myself often. When my daughter was born, I had to learn how to fight for her. I had to learn how to advocate. I had to learn how to trust my gut.
The experience of being a mom to a child with special needs is life-changing. At first I thought the doctors had all the answers and that the doctors were always right. I followed blindly and obediently. As time passed, I learned how to ask questions, I learned the terminology, and I learned how to make my voice heard.
The biggest thing I learned is that even with all the education in the world, one person does not know everything. Everyone has different viewpoints and different modes of operation. Everyone, even doctors, can be wrong. I learned how to be an advocate, and now I want to take what I've learned and become an advocate for others.
Bold Patience Matters Scholarship
Patience was never a virtue I sought out. As a person with ADHD it seemed to be an unattainable quality. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, why should I push myself out of my comfort zone to attempt to learn a skill that seems beyond reach when I had so many other great qualities? Oh to be young and so sure of life again.
In 2005 my daughter was born with a rare chromosome disorder. It was then that I spent several years learning, begrudgingly, about patience. I didn't want to learn this skill, and I fought against it until the lack of patience nearly broke me. When I was broken, attempting to seek answers that would never come, that is when patience found me.
Patience is important to me because it allows me to live my life. For years I was in a high stress mode, incapable of slowing down, desperately seeking answers and assurances that my daughter would be alright. I wish I knew then what I know now, but I had to live through that time, and those lessons, in order to get to where I am today.
After great struggle and a steep learning curve I have learned that patience is the key to living a life that is full. With patience you don't spend hours, days, years searching. With patience you're able to see the world around you and accept it as it currently is. You are able to have hope for the future, but you're able to enjoy the here and now. Patience is a virtue worth learning.
Robert F. Lawson Fund for Careers that Care
I want to help parents in a way that helps children.
I am a 40 year old mother of five children. I began my college career in the typical way, as a fresh faced 18 year old girl. I was naïve, as many people that age are. Halfway through my college studies I had to stop in order to begin to raise my children, though I was still very much a child myself.
As I began my parenting journey I had the support of my family, but I didn't have access to evidenced based parenting education. During the first several years of parenting I was guilty of perpetuating the cycle of generational trauma. I believed, and was counseled by my family, that the way in which I was raised was the correct way to raise my children. Thankfully, as I grew as a parent, and gained confidence in myself, I began to change how I approached the awesome task of guiding children into adulthood.
With the help of therapists for both myself and my children, I learned how to truly connect with my children. I learned how to be their safe space. I learned how to listen without judgement, correct without punishment, and support them in the way that most benefited each of their unique personalities. I learned how to be open to change and constructive criticism. I learned how to truly be a parent. Now that I have learned all of these things in the practical sense, I am returning to college to finish my degree and to learn all of this all over again in the theoretical sense.
If I could have my dream job it would be to help other parents break the generational cycles of trauma and to help them learn how to parent their children with respect. So many mental health issues have been directly caused by the old adages of "children should be seen and not heard" and "because I said so". Many of us were raised this way so we believe it is the only right and good way to raise children. So many parents struggle daily and don't understand that there are ways to parent where they might not have to struggle so hard.
Children are humans. The way we treat children when they are young greatly impacts how those children will treat people when they are adults. If children are treated with respect and grace then they too will likely give respect and grace to others. The research behind this is astounding.
When I find my place in the mental health industry, I hope to find a way to offer creative solutions to everyday parenting problems. Every child is different, so every solution cannot be the same. Parenting is hard. We all need support to find our footing. Even when we know what we should be doing, it can be hard to stay on track. I want to support parents through their difficult times so that they can have good relationships with their children as they grow up. In turn, I hope the children of today can grown into empathetic and compassionate adults who help us to find a way forward in the future.
I truly believe many small acts can create a better world.
Bold Influence Scholarship
"A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats it's weakest members"- Mohandas Gandhi
I hope to one day become an influential figure. I hope that I am able to help create change within our society. The very first aspect of our society that I would change is how we care for our people. My platform would be about social change.
Poverty is a lie. Poverty only happens when people are exploited. I would push for Universal Basic Income, Universal Healthcare, and Housing for All. When people are taken care of, and their basic needs are met, they have the chance to show the world what they can offer. When people don't have to fight to survive they have the chance to create, innovate, and simply live their lives. People should be treated with dignity because they are people and not because they "deserve" to be treated with dignity.
As an influential figure I would stand for human rights.
Bold Dream Big Scholarship
I've done so much, but I want to do so much more. I recently turned 40 years old, a natural time to reflect on the life one has lived so far, and as I took stock of my life I concluded that I am proud of the work I've done raising five spectacular, empathetic humans, but I'm ready for a new challenge.
My dream is to work towards the emotional health of my community. My community, like the world at large, is plagued by divisiveness. I want to empower myself with the tools necessary to work towards breaking down those walls and building up community relationships. I believe that so many of the issues facing my community today, such as hunger, homelessness, poverty and hate can be addressed by finding a common ground. So many people fight about their take on these issues, but when you take away the bulk of what they're saying...they are essentially saying the same thing. Their only fight is about WHO will get us to the solution.
My dream would be to find a way to foster community conversations to find the middle ground on the issues that face our neighbors and ourselves. Through communication and common ground we can work in unison to eliminate the struggles within our community.
Shine Your Light College Scholarship
I want to help parents in a way that helps children.
If I could have my dream job it would be to help parents break the generational cycles of trauma and to help them learn how to parent their children with respect. So many mental health issues have been directly caused by the old adages of "children should be seen and not heard" and "because I said so". Many of us were raised this way so we believe it is the only right and good way to raise children. But what if it isn't?
Children are humans. The way we treat children when they are young greatly impacts how those children will treat people when they are adults. If children are treated with respect and grace then they too will likely give respect and grace to others. The research behind this is astounding.
When I find my place in the mental health industry, I hope to find a way to offer creative solutions to everyday parenting problems. Every child is different, so every solution cannot be the same. Parenting is hard. We all need support to find our footing. Even when we know what we should be doing, it can be hard to stay on track. I want to support parents through their difficult times so that they can have good relationships with their children as they grow up. In turn, I hope the children of today can grown into empathetic and compassionate adults who help us to find a way forward in the future. I truly believe many small acts can create a better world.
New Year, New Opportunity Scholarship
I am starting over. I'm beginning fresh, but not too fresh. I'm going back to college, but my classmates are different than me. I'm learning and growing, but I've already grown so much. I have a new perspective. My answers will not be the same as theirs. Their past 20 years of experience include school and sports and music. My past 20 years include those as well, but at a different level. We are taking the same classes, with the same goals, but we are 20 years, and a lifetime, apart. I'm a 40 year old mother of five.
Bold Mentor Scholarship
I want to help parents in a way that helps children.
If I could have my dream job it would be to help parents break the generational cycles of trauma and to help them learn how to parent their children with respect. So many mental health issues have been directly caused by the old adages of "children should be seen and not heard" and "because I said so". Many of us were raised this way so we believe it is the only right and good way to raise children. But what if it isn't?
Children are humans. The way we treat children when they are young greatly impacts how those children will treat people when they are adults. If children are treated with respect and grace then they too will likely give respect and grace to others. The research behind this is astounding.
When I find my place in the mental health industry, I hope to find a way to offer creative solutions to everyday parenting problems. Every child is different, so every solution cannot be the same. Parenting is hard. We all need support to find our footing. Even when we know what we should be doing, it can be hard to stay on track. I want to support parents through their difficult times so that they can have good relationships with their children as they grow up. In turn, I hope the children of today can grown into empathetic and compassionate adults who help us to find a way forward in the future. I truly believe many small acts can create a better world.
Bold Learning and Changing Scholarship
ADHD is real.
In 2010, when my eldest child was 7, she was diagnosed with ADHD. She began taking medication and slowly her life got a bit easier. But there was so much controversy, both within my small circle as well as within the world at large. So many people spoke of how parenting was the cause, or unrealistic expectations were to blame, or how the child simply needed more restrictions. As a young parent, it was so hard to know who to trust and how to manage the onslaught of accusations and advice.
After a few years on medications, my daughter was having difficulty managing her emotions and she was having a lot of outbursts. The naysayers said that it proved that meds were bad for her, that we had been poisoning her, that we were at fault. The offered up neuro-therapies, and diets, and supplements. When you're desperate you'll go to great lengths to find a cure.
After several months without medication, while trying all of these other options, we were much worse off than we had been when we started our journey. Eventually, I learned to quiet the naysayers, I learned to find credible research, and I learned to advocate for my child. No one teaches you these things in school.
I wish I knew then what I know now, but isn't that always the case? Now I'm able to stand up and advocate for my children, 4 of whom have ADHD. Now I know that if there are other symptoms, it doesn't mean meds don't work, it means we need to find a new medication or add a different one. Now I know that ADHD is not just hyperactivity, and attention. It affects food, sleep, emotions, etc. Now I know I also have ADHD.
Bold Great Minds Scholarship
One person I truly admire from history is Helen Doss. Most likely you've never heard of her. Helen wrote one book, "The Family Nobody Wanted", was featured in a 1949 edition of LIFE magazine, and was played by Shirley Jones in a 1975 ABC Movie of the Week about her life. She lived well before my time, but in 1992, at a 5th grade book swap, I found an old, battered copy of her book. The book was not meant to be read by a child, but it soon became my absolute favorite book.
Helen is the mother I always wanted and the mother I wanted to become. She spoke plainly of her desire to become a mother and also of the hardships and struggles that every mother faces. She wrote the truth.
Growing up I knew I wanted to become a mother, but through the years, as I matured, my views on motherhood changed and grew with me. It's only in the last 5-10 years that I truly understood the gravity and importance of motherhood. To create a better world we must first look to our families and their caregivers to teach empathy and compassion.
Now, as I read Helen's book again, 30 years later, I can see how her empathy and compassion were modeled and instilled into her children. When I read the book as a child, I viewed it as a child. Now as a mother, I view it as a mother. As a child, it was a happy story of a family. As a mother, it is a call to action, a blueprint, a way forward.
Helen was a truly inspirational woman. I'm sorry that more people today don't know who she was and haven't read her words.
Patrick Stanley Memorial Scholarship
After a 20 year break from school, I'm finally ready to finish what I started!
I began my college experience in the fall of 2000, fresh out of high school. I had the vague idea that I wanted to attain a degree that would allow me to help others, but I had no solid indication of how that would eventually look. I very much enjoyed college life, but college classes? Not so much. High school had been very easy for me, college was much more difficult. Eventually, after I had my first child, I found that my classes and my family life were too much to handle and I made the decision to leave school.
I spent the next 20 years raising my 5 children. It was an incredibly rewarding and eye-opening experience. I helped each of them navigate their own series of challenges and accomplishments, and I truly enjoyed the experience. However, not having attained my degree, I always felt like something was missing in my life. Over the years, the thought of returning to college would cross my mind from time to time. I would consider, but inevitably there would be a myriad of reasons as to why it was an impossible feat.
In March of 2020, I began to coach all 5 of my children through their virtual schooling, and continued to do so until January of 2022. Spending almost two full years on online learning platforms gave me insight as to how learning online is accomplished and what it looks like. In the fall of 2021, I sent my eldest off to her own college experience, which again brought back the familiar thoughts of finishing my degree. However, this time, when the thoughts came around, there were fewer and fewer reasons to shut down the idea. In fact, after careful consideration, there seemed to be an absolute plethora of reasons to move forward with the idea. Except for one reason, I had doubts about my ability to keep up with the classwork. While I had originally convinced myself that family obligations were the reason I left school, I knew deep down that the true cause was some type of undiagnosed learning difficulty. I had truly tried my hardest on the classwork, but my grades had not reflected this. I felt that returning to school would leave me in the same situation as before, unable to complete the classwork at an acceptable level.
Several months passed and the fear of failure kept me from pursuing my degree, until something completely unrelated happened, my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. While several of my older children, and my husband, had been previously diagnosed, I hadn't thought to evaluate my daughter because she didn't have a typical presentation. She had her own quirks and habits, but I felt certain that's all they were because I had the exact same quirks and habits. After my daughter's diagnosis, I spent more time researching what ADHD looks like in women and, as you may have already guessed, I was diagnosed with ADHD December of 2021.
This experience was both eye-opening and validating for me. For years I had suffered under the delusion that I was lazy or dumb. I now know that there are many women like me who were never diagnosed or treated. Now that I have the diagnosis, medication, and tools to succeed, I have the ability to fully learn. I am ready to finish my Bachelors Degree, attain my Masters degree, and begin the next chapter of my life.
Bold Optimist Scholarship
As a mother of a child with special needs, optimism is the most used tool in my toolbox! For the past 17 years I have been faced with a constant stream of issues dealing with the health and wellbeing of my child. Without optimism, I wouldn't have survived. Of course, I have dealt with moments of difficulty and depression, a natural response to the constant stream of stressors associated with such a life, but that doesn't negate the optimism. I find that optimism is not a continuous state of being, it is a tool to pull out when it is needed. When one is presented with life's challenges, the most healthy response is to first let oneself feel any of the natural feelings that may come up and work through those feelings. After processing what the challenge means for oneself and facing the reality of the situation, then the tool of optimism can be correctly employed. I learned this the hard way. Somewhere in my childhood I was taught that optimism and positivity should be used exclusively to deal with any situation presented in life. It wasn't until my child was born, and I was faced with challenges many humans never have to encounter, that I broke down and thought I must be broken. Through years of therapy and self-reflection I learned the truth that simply appearing optimistic, or forcing yourself to seem optimistic, is not true optimism. True optimism comes from facing life's challenges head-on, processing all of the implications realistically, and then finding the hope that lies on the other side of the struggle. True optimism can only come from knowing and understanding yourself and the world around you.
Bold Perseverance Scholarship
On March 5, 2005 my life completely changed. My daughter, Joslyn, was born into the world with an unexpected, rare chromosomal abnormality. At the time, there were only thirty reported cases in the United States. I spent the first three years of her life trudging along to her multitudes of therapy and doctor appointments, looking towards experts in hopes they would somehow read my fortune and tell me what our future would entail. I think many parents of special needs children fall into this trap. When faced with extreme uncertainty, it is human nature to seek out those who have gone before to get some semblance of an idea of what to expect in the future. Then, at some point after her third birthday, I finally reached a level of acceptance and stopped constantly searching for answers. At age three, Joslyn was finally walking and talking, singing songs, and fully enjoying life with the biggest of smiles. Through the past seventeen years, Joslyn had to work harder to achieve small milestones, and I had to work just as hard to help her learn the skills necessary to achieve those milestones, but she was still able to learn the skills and achieve the goals. When you work so hard, the celebrations of achievement are so much more profound. Through the experience of helping and watching Joslyn grow up, I have gained new insight on what it means to persevere through life's trials and tribulations. It doesn't matter how long it takes to achieve your goals, all that matters is that you continue moving forward, trying your best, and living life to the fullest.
Bold Financial Freedom Scholarship
Use your assets wisely and make your money work for you.
That is the best piece of financial advice I've ever received.
When I got married we were both very young and our parents hadn't really imparted any level of financial wisdom upon us. Due to our age and naivete, we failed at finances miserably. After years of building up credit card debt we finally sought out some help. A wonderful financial advisor was able to see what we weren't able to figure out on our own, we had a large amount of available equity in our house. Within a month she had helped us to get a home equity loan at a very low rate to pay off our credit cards (which now never carry a balance past our due date). This helped us to begin to pay off old debt at a rate we could keep up with, helped to raise our credit score, and eventually helped to guide us towards beginning to save. Just this one piece of advice, making our money work for us, snowballed into a better realm of overall financial health.
We have taken great strides in learning about finances, budgeting, and fiscal goals. We are intentional about teaching our children these ideals as well.
REVIVAL Scholarship
At the end of my sophomore year of college I became pregnant with my first child. At that time my focus moved from my education to my family. I have now spent 20 years being a stay at home mom to 5 children. I have had the opportunity to guide them and watch them grow, as well as the opportunity to learn from them. I am so proud of each of them and of who they are and who they are becoming.
This year I sent my eldest child to college, about 15 minutes away from where I had attended college myself all those years ago. Going through the college process with my eldest brought up the idea of returning to college myself. Now that my children are all in school I can finally focus on the dreams I had pushed away 20 years ago. I have always wanted the chance to help people. I know I've been able to talk many of my friends through difficult times and I find value in what I've been able to do, but my dream is to do more.
I am ready to begin college again. I am ready to dive deep into the knowledge that is shown to me and to then use it to make a difference in this world on a larger scale. I want to help people learn about their mental health and to find hope and peace through therapy.
I also want the opportunity to provide for my family. While my husband has been a wonderful financial supporter, life has been difficult with five children and only one income. I am excited to have the chance to help our family move out of the paycheck-to-paycheck stage and onto the next level.
Elevate Mental Health Awareness Scholarship
All my life I've been "too...". Too loud, too sensitive, too hyper, too depressed, too...much. As a sensitive empath I felt all of these criticisms, from every facet of my life, and I learned to mask. I learned to hide my true self so others would see the person they wanted to see. I learned how to not be me.
Then I became a mother, and I wanted so much for my children. I wanted them to be SEEN. I wanted for them what I could not have for myself, or so I thought. As the years went by, as the conversations with my children flowed, layers of my mask began to fall away, little by little. As I spoke to my children about showing the world their true selves, about how not everyone would like them and that was ok, about how they couldn't ever be whole if they weren't true, my words found their way into my own soul. Slowly at first, whispers of moments when the mask would drop, when the cage I was raised to be in would momentarily swing open, I would find pieces of myself that had long been locked away. The process of clawing my way back from confinement took so long.
Many times growth cannot come without pain and this was all too true for me. I could not shed my former mask without some level difficulty. The tipping point came with a deep, year long depression. The experts said it was bi-polar, anxiety, panic, and stress. The experts gave multitudes of medications that never helped and therapies that only hurt. The experts hadn't taken the time to see past the mask. The experts, simply put, were wrong.
After 20 years of raising children and teaching them to be their true selves, I finally found myself. When I found the courage to step out of the cage I was raised in and learned to accept myself as a whole true person, I finally found answers. I was diagnosed this year with ADHD. Knowing my diagnosis now, I have learned I was never "too much", I was just being me. There is beauty in the fast-talking, impetuous, vivaciousness of me and others like me. We have value and we add a spark to the world that is sometimes so dark. Where would we be in this world without those who can add creativity, impulsivity, and energy?
My children have taught me more than I could ever begin to hope to teach others, but I would like the chance to try. I am now returning to college after a 20 year hiatus. I am ready to take on this new chapter of my life, and I know that the knowledge I've gained over these years will help me to better understand my classes. I will take the time to learn more from the experts, who aren't always experts, and I will become an expert myself, though I will never claim to be such. I will move through life hoping to help others even a fraction as much as I know they will help me, just as my children have.
Bold Great Books Scholarship
In fifth grade I went to a book swap event at my school and after hours of pouring over multitudes of titles I finally found one of interest. It was called "The family nobody wanted" by Helen Doss. I read this book at least once or twice a year until it completely fell apart in my hands. This book shaped who I became as a mother, and as an person. I'm so fortunate that I found this book that day in fifth grade.
It is the story of a young woman and her husband, a pastor, who had a love for children but could not have one of their own. Through the course of their attempts to find a child to love they learned that many children were put on the "un-adoptable" list in orphanages around the US. They were put on these lists because they were of mixed race, or had some type of developmental issue, or some other imagined issue that would label them as "defective". As a fifth grader in a 99% predominately white area, this was my first introduction to racism and it shaped my thoughts and perceptions from that point forward.
The book was written in a way where you felt you were experiencing everything with the woman, Helen. She wrote with humor, humility, and grace. Has a book character ever become your friend? At that time, Helen was my friend. I shared the book with my own friends, with mixed reviews. I'm not sure many other children would have found the book as fascinating as I did. Years later, as a young mother, I had much more success when I shared it with other mothers.
This book lit the fire within me to stand up for others and become an ally.
Bold Mental Health Awareness Scholarship
I believe that a practical solution to help the most amount of people would be to concentrate on teaching school children about emotional intelligence. Emotions are not some "other" aspect of life, they are something that needs to be taught. Taking the time to teach about the wide array of human emotions, teaching children to notice where they feel their emotions, teaching children to connect how they feel to how they act, making it a primary focus of education, all of this would lead to the eventuality of adults who can recognize their own emotions and how they each react to them.
Many adults today who face difficult struggles with mental health were raised by parents who also had similar struggles. The cycle seems to continue and perpetuate over time. It is made worse by generations of parents and grandparents who were taught to simply pretend everything is fine. To address the issue we need to start at the base root. We cannot teach all of the older generations all at once right now. They are all free to search out mental health services but this feels like a piece meal approach to a large scale problem.
I am in no way implying that simply recognizing your emotions and understanding how you react to them will somehow cause all mental health issues to go away. Mental health is a complex arena and there are many facets to the treatment of mental health issues. However, throughout my limited time studying and participating in therapy, I believe teaching emotional intelligence as a primary focus of elementary education could help a significant amount of people.
Ethel Hayes Destigmatization of Mental Health Scholarship
All my life I've been "too...". Too loud, too sensitive, too hyper, too depressed, too...much. As a sensitive empath I felt all of these criticisms, from every facet of my life, and I learned to mask. I learned to hide my true self so others would see the person they wanted to see. I learned how to not be me.
Then I became a mother, and I wanted so much for my children. I wanted them to be SEEN. I wanted for them what I could not have for myself, or so I thought. As the years went by, as the conversations with my children flowed, layers of my mask began to fall away, little by little. As I spoke to my children about showing the world their true selves, about how not everyone would like them and that was ok, about how they couldn't ever be whole if they weren't true, my words found their way into my own soul. Slowly at first, whispers of moments when the mask would drop, when the cage I was raised to be in would momentarily swing open, I would find pieces of myself that had long been locked away. The process of clawing my way back from confinement took so long.
Many times growth cannot come without pain and this was all too true for me. I could not shed my former mask without some level difficulty. The tipping point came with a deep, year long depression. The experts said it was bi-polar, anxiety, panic, and stress. The experts gave multitudes of medications that never helped and therapies that only hurt. The experts hadn't taken the time to see past the mask. The experts, simply put, were wrong.
After 20 years of raising children and teaching them to be their true selves, I finally found myself. When I found the courage to step out of the cage I was raised in and learned to accept myself as a whole true person, I finally found answers. I was diagnosed this year with ADHD. Knowing my diagnosis now, I have learned I was never "too much", I was just being me. There is beauty in the fast-talking, impetuous, vivaciousness of me and others like me. We have value and we add a spark to the world that is sometimes so dark. Where would we be in this world without those who can add creativity, impulsivity, and energy?
My children have taught me more than I could ever begin to hope to teach others, but I would like the chance to try. I am now returning to college after a 20 year hiatus. I will take the time to learn more from the experts, who aren't always experts, and I will become an expert myself, though I will never claim to be such. I will move through life hoping to help others even a fraction as much as I know they will help me, just as my children have.