After a 20 year break from school, I'm finally ready to finish what I started!
I began my college experience in the fall of 2000, fresh out of high school. I had the vague idea that I wanted to attain a degree that would allow me to help others, but I had no solid indication of how that would eventually look. I very much enjoyed college life, but college classes? Not so much. High school had been very easy for me, college was much more difficult. Eventually, after I had my first child, I found that my classes and my family life were too much to handle and I made the decision to leave school.
I spent the next 20 years raising my 5 children. It was an incredibly rewarding and eye-opening experience. I helped each of them navigate their own series of challenges and accomplishments, and I truly enjoyed the experience. However, not having attained my degree, I always felt like something was missing in my life. Over the years, the thought of returning to college would cross my mind from time to time. I would consider, but inevitably there would be a myriad of reasons as to why it was an impossible feat.
In March of 2020, I began to coach all 5 of my children through their virtual schooling, and continued to do so until January of 2022. Spending almost two full years on online learning platforms gave me insight as to how learning online is accomplished and what it looks like. In the fall of 2021, I sent my eldest off to her own college experience, which again brought back the familiar thoughts of finishing my degree. However, this time, when the thoughts came around, there were fewer and fewer reasons to shut down the idea. In fact, after careful consideration, there seemed to be an absolute plethora of reasons to move forward with the idea. Except for one reason, I had doubts about my ability to keep up with the classwork. While I had originally convinced myself that family obligations were the reason I left school, I knew deep down that the true cause was some type of undiagnosed learning difficulty. I had truly tried my hardest on the classwork, but my grades had not reflected this. I felt that returning to school would leave me in the same situation as before, unable to complete the classwork at an acceptable level.
Several months passed and the fear of failure kept me from pursuing my degree, until something completely unrelated happened, my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. While several of my older children, and my husband, had been previously diagnosed, I hadn't thought to evaluate my daughter because she didn't have a typical presentation. She had her own quirks and habits, but I felt certain that's all they were because I had the exact same quirks and habits. After my daughter's diagnosis, I spent more time researching what ADHD looks like in women and, as you may have already guessed, I was diagnosed with ADHD December of 2021.
This experience was both eye-opening and validating for me. For years I had suffered under the delusion that I was lazy or dumb. I now know that there are many women like me who were never diagnosed or treated. Now that I have the diagnosis, medication, and tools to succeed, I have the ability to fully learn. I am ready to finish my Bachelors Degree, attain my Masters degree, and begin the next chapter of my life.