Being a trans racial adoptee that had to experience moving so to so many different schools, I've always been met with struggles for finding support for my math learning disability. I've always had trouble with math, but a lot of it comes down to my experience in foster care as well as my Adoption story. Adoption is at the heart of what makes me who I am, and if I didn’t share this part of my life, I wouldn't be understood. My adoption story is one that I will carry with me forever, it impacts the way my family relationships have been shaped, and how they continue to change.
The Department of Children and Families almost always removes children from unsafe homes with the intention of returning the child. After removal, DCF provides therapy and assistance to families. If all goes well, the child is returned back home. If not, when parents don’t attend therapy sessions or pass home checks, like mine, then the child’s permanency plan is changed. That’s when adoption becomes a part of the picture. Foster care was a big part of my life, and as I get older my outlook on my difficult experiences constantly evolves. Foster care saved me in a way, but also brought a ton of emotional complications at the same time. I entered foster care when I was seven-years-old, and my older brother was twelve. We were removed because our household was abusive, and our return was uncertain. Initially, I lived with my grandparents after my mother lost custody of my brother and I due to her substance and alcohol abuse. But we still got to see our mother, she lived a town over. She’d come over on weekends and was sometimes already at my grandparents house on Fridays after school. We had been living there for about seven years until my grandparents were deemed unfit guardians, along with my mother when her alcohol abuse got worse. After three years of foster care, me and my brother’s case opened for adoption. After experiencing his own trauma, my brother decided that adoption wasn’t something he wanted and ran away at seventeen. My family still believes that it was DCF that was the issue, but in reality it was always me and my brother that felt the damage.
One thing I carry with myself every day is hatred towards my parents for all they put us through, and letting me witness the things I witnessed as a young child. But, despite the difficulties of foster care and the internal trauma and abuse that I experienced as a child that I never understood, as I’ve grown older I started to understand. The reason why this connects to my schooling, is because I've always been some of the only adoptee's in my school, and my frusterations with math and how I had a certain attitude towards it, I was never understood fully, and I wasn't able to get my full support. Because of my growth and resilience throughout my life, a social work path is one I decide to choose. Since my birth family mostly doesn’t take accountability, a career in an environment working with children and families isn’t a career they necessarily want me working in because they believe we were taken from their custody for no apparent reason. Regardless of what context it’s in, the social work field and/or counseling is something where I can use my story to help people navigate similar experiences. My story is far from over, and every foster kid deserves the opportunity to strive and succeed.