Getting to graduate school has been one of the most difficult experiences in my academic career so far. As a first-generation student from a low-income household, I aspire to earn my master's in educational counseling because it will allow me to uplift my future students. The application process was challenging to navigate because I was figuring out everything myself. I did not have anyone I could ask to help me with different questions I would have, and I would use Google or ask my advisor for help. It was difficult to ask for help because I felt I had to do everything myself because I was the one that wanted to go to graduate school, not anyone else. Even within my university, I was told to go to one office from another and meet many dead ends. Throughout that process, I learned I had to continue to push through and persevere through each question I had. I knew I had a very strong reason why I was pursuing graduate school. One being because a master’s degree is required for most positions for college counselors. But the other and most motivating was because I want to be well prepared with counseling theories and work with underserved and underrepresented populations within higher education. Even through that long and difficult process, I was able to get into a few graduate programs I wanted to attend. The one I chose to attend is USC for the Educational Counseling program. Most of the jobs in academic counseling require a master's degree in counseling or a related field. However, after my process in applying to graduate school, I now face another challenge, funding for graduate school. Funding options through loans and scholarships has only gotten tighter and has really put me in a spot of whether or not I can attend graduate school. Federal loans are capped below what I need for myself. As I look for ways to fund my degree, I have applied to several scholarships, fellowships, giveaways, you name it. Each application has been filled with being vulnerable to scholarship judges while being told “no” more than yes. I have spent each essay talking about topics I thought I wouldn’t be able to talk about. Writing about challenges while I am still in the storm has been terrifying because I don’t know if my story would get across to panels. I have spent most of my days updating my Google spreadsheet with different scholarships I am looking to apply to, while also keeping deadlines for myself to apply to as many funding opportunities as possible, along with the post it on my desk counting the scholarships I applied to. As an incoming graduate student at the University of Southern California, I have asked my program representatives and financial aid office for help in looking for funding, but they have been told to apply for a private loan. A private loan would destroy my finances tremendously, but I have been determined to apply to scholarships so I can attend graduate school. I am determined to earn my graduate degree because I know it’s not just a degree, but a way to open doors for myself and others like me after. While I continue to apply to scholarships, I am taking every “no” to apply to more opportunities. As these opportunities get more and more narrow, I am determined to reach my goal of graduate school even if it means replanning, reapplying, and redoing most of the work I have done so far. Earning the Christian Fitness Association General Scholarship would benefit me greatly because I would get the chance to not only attend graduate school but also do more while in school. I would be able to start this fall at USC while maintaining an internship at a local community college. Along with that, I would be able to focus on getting involved in professional organizations like Hermanas Unidas to find community within campus as I navigate this new chapter of my life. I would also be able to only have to work part time and attend school full time, instead of working full time and attending school full time. Graduate school is important because I would be able to grow my current skillset, learn new skills, and network with others who are also passionate about completing graduate school. I am excited and nervous for this chapter because I would need to continue to be comfortable being uncomfortable and vulnerable to others. Even with this ongoing challenge, I am determined to continue to push through this challenge throughout graduate school and beyond.

1. I found TXT when their first album “The Dream Chapter: STAR” was set to release, back in early 2019. I was in the 9th grade getting into K-pop. I remember repeating “Blue Orangeade” everyday because I loved the energy within the song. 2. I think the most important characteristics of a MOA is to be open to changing concepts of TXT because they do have changing themes within their albums. TXT experiments with different themes and genres of music which lets everyone find something they like. Even if you may not be a big fan on one album, I think the beauty is that you don’t know what the next album will bring. 3. My TXT bias has to be Yeonjun. I think between his character, rapping, and dancing, I think that’s why my bias is Yeonjun. Usually my biases tend to be rappers or have a deeper voice in general which is a trend I noticed a while ago. 4. My ult bias is Yeosang from ATEEZ. I think it is a similar reason for Yeonjun, where he is a rapper but also because of his visuals. Maybe the real pattern isn’t the rappers but any idol that has “yeo” in the name? 5. My favorite TXT song at this moment is “Everlasting Shine”. I love the beat of the song and while there is not much rapping in this song, I really love listening to this song when driving or doing tasks I need energy for like scholarship writing. 6. I have not gotten the chance to see TXT live in concert before, mostly because buying concert tickets can take up a lot of my paycheck. While I live in Los Angeles, I have to think about parking, food, and the tickets being sold by resellers. I wish to go see TXT with my sister or partner. 7. My favorite album concept was “The Dream Chapter: ETERNITY” because of how they really came in when I was feeling alone and invisible. I felt no one saw me struggling with my personal circumstances on top of the pandemic. I also loved how the album had a lock because sometimes it felt like I had to lock up how I felt to not be a burden on anyone. 8. Currently, I am on a thought and prayer for paying for school. My program costs more than what federal student loans are willing to pay. I want to try to pay the difference between the maximum amount of student loans I can take out and the remaining costs. I am working as a paid intern but I am also applying to a part time job on top to also help pay for costs outside of tuition like transportation, food, and housing. Without many options for funding, I may have to consider post-poning my graduate degree, even if it means losing my internship for not meeting my enrollment requirement. 9. This scholarship would help me fill in the gap I have between my potential loans and the remainder costs. While my tuition is currently not fully covered, I am looking for scholarships and funding. For graduate school, there is not as many options for funding compared to undergraduate studies. I would like to be able to complete my internship and earn my graduate degree to become an academic counselor. This scholarship can change how much I would have to work overtime to afford school. 10. TXT has influenced me for good by being an example of how it was okay for me to be consistently trying new hats until I found the one that felt right to me. I felt that I had to have everything figured out and TXT showed me otherwise. I hope to express that same message to my future roles. 11. I hope to use my education to provide safe spaces for students from all backgrounds. There is no one size fits all when it comes to education and career, and I want to be able to create a space that lets students build their own paths for personal and professional growth. The drawing attached is one I drew a few years back!

Recovery to me means breaking a chain that drugs or alcohol has on you but breaking that chain is not easy. For myself, my father has had to continuously try to break that chain of alcohol in his life. Seeing how he would be dependent on drinking and he would not be able to get up and eat, let alone go to work, he had a long road of recovery. But that recovery came from the community between our family and the friends encouraging him to stay sober. Along with that, there is also recovery through changing habits as well. Recovery can come through judge-free support to recovery, while also trying to keep the person accountable for actions they may have done. My father’s good friend called on him to encourage him to not drink because he needed to take care of his health. My mother pushed him to recovery to be well for our family, as he is the main contributor. She also cooked meals that would help in recovery like soups and stews. Recovery should not be seen as linear because sometimes there can be relapse. What should be focused on is consistently working on oneself to be physically and mentally recovered to try to live a healthy life. As someone who had a loved one in recovery in various periods of my life, I know the road to recovery is not an easy one. I hope my father’s story can help someone’s road to recovery.

I love the idea of the game “Animal Crossing: New Horizons” by Nintendo. The game has no straight end and players can always continue to play the game. You start off in an island and you are essentially creating and developing an island to by your own city. Players can make their own flags, place and build shops and bridges, and even invite other players to explore their island or visit other islands! I love being able to freely create a garden, decorate my home, and talk to the residents on my island. Personally, I enjoy how you can personalize and build your island to what you want. I have not finished building my island, but I think I will never be truly finished building my island because there are always different themes I may want to try out. “Animal Crossing: New Horizons”, is much like what I want to build as a professional. As I aspire to go into academic counseling, I want to help students build their own islands. Every student has different wants, needs, goals, responsibilities, and experiences. As a future counselor, I aim to work with students through a holistic lens, and really focusing on what the student has now, and where does the student want to end at. What is interesting is that in order to build these students' paths, I really want to build an understanding of the student experience and how these experiences impact student retention and completion of their degree and career goals. I want to be able to build a future where students are able to have a knowledge of resources within their campus and even off campus. I believe that like my video game, students may need to learn a few skills so they may continue to work on their skill to make it their own. As I step into this new chapter pursuing a Master of Education in Educational Counseling, I would like to be able to help students build their own island, one where it feels genuine to themselves and aligns with their academic and personal goals. I would like to build a future where students feel safe and welcome to create their own island. Sometimes our paths cannot make much sense to others around us, but it will make sense to ourselves. The amazing thing about our paths is that it is always constantly changing, and I want to provide that space for students to explore and reach their goals.

Growing up, I saw how untreated mental health challenges could affect an entire family. As a first-generation U.S. citizen, I have been fortunate to not have to experience war or violence. Mental health within my family has been both generational but also personal. With my father, who came to the U.S. due to the Salvadoran Civil War, he did not have peace within his childhood due to the conditions in his country, but also how he was received in the U.S. The stories he has shared with my sisters and I is how soldiers would go into homes and start taking people away from their homes, from men to women to children. Along with that, there were also the constant bombs which would go off. It was so bad that even to this day, 40 years later, he still gets worried when a helicopter is near, because of how it reminds him of the time of war. My father’s story does not end there, and it continues in the United States, where he was bullied and beaten by his classmates for not knowing proper English. My father alone has had a rough life, and as a result, he has depression and anxiety. But my father did not accept that he needed help. Instead, he would say that by going to church, everything will be fine. What is not talked about in church, in my experience, is how you can have both faith and medication. Unfortunately, my father used alcohol and gambling to numb his traumas and feelings, which left me with uncertainty for the future, for how we would pay for food, rent, and other bills. My earliest memory was in middle school, where my mother was worried and was asking relatives for help to pay for rent. Even now as an adult, within the past year, most of my paychecks were going into unpaid bills and left me with nothing to save for the future. My relationship with my father is not the greatest as damage he has done due to his mental health has really harmed my well-being throughout the years. Throughout high school and college, I sometimes would not get enough sleep because I would be anxious about how we would be able to pay for bills and keep a roof over our heads. There would be times where, for an exam or presentation, I would not be able to do best because of my situation at home and I would try to think of creative ways to help out at home. One example was specifically for my midterm exam this past semester for an economics course, where I knew the material and I had done my best to study two weeks before so I would be prepared. But when the exam day came, I was so worried about how much I would need to pull out from my savings and paycheck that week to help pay for rent. I was not worried about the exam as much as I was worried about having services cut off. As I was in my undergrad, I started therapy which was offered through my university, which gave me a space to talk to a professional who was also a first-generation latino. From my experience in therapy, I felt I had the chance to talk to someone who already made it past graduate school and had to deal with not just family responsibilities, but also how to destigmatize mental health and look for services and support for the Latino population. In a community where faith can block someone from seeking help, I learned personally how important it is to seek therapy, especially with the experiences many from my community have experienced. Some have experienced violence in their home country, others from a violent partner, and more. But by continuing to share stories like mine, we are able to destigmatize mental health. My father’s mental health has created many challenges, and as I prepare to start graduate school to be a future academic counselor, I know the importance of knowing available services for the well-being of the person. For someone like my father, I wished someone had told him earlier “Let’s find help”. While for most of my life I was a child, I knew I could not do much, but if only places like our church would not shame people for needing help, and instead destigmatize mental health. What I mean is men should cry to let out their feelings. Now as I move into graduate school to prepare for a profession of counseling, I strongly believe holding him accountable while also finding help for my father is a mix that is needed as his daughter and future counselor. Supporting someone and holding them accountable can exist at the same time, and that is something I firmly believe based on my experience. I learned that seeking help is a strength mistaken as a weakness. Through therapy, I learned how caring for my mental health allows me to better support both myself and the people around me. By meeting with a therapist, taking medication, and finding support groups, I was able to take care of my mental health. For my father, I wish that he continues his mental health journey with a therapist and medication so that he can take care of himself and my mother. As a future counselor, I want to be able to provide safe spaces for my students in higher education who may need safe spaces and healthy ways to cope. I aspire to be a counselor who actively listens and works with the students I meet with together as a team. I wish to be an advocate and battle the stigma that still exists in communities like mine as a first- generation Latina.

As I aspire to go into academic counseling, there has been various instances where I have had few classmates who did not receive the proper accommodations required to pursue and succeed within their personal, academic, and professional. Personally, I have had peers who fell behind on coursework because the education system is not properly equipped or staffed for the needs of the students. As an academic mentor and student assistant at my institution, there has been many staff and faculty who would not be willing to follow the appropriate accommodations. One instance for example, was a student who was forced to drop a course because the professor was not willing to provide the proper document type for text-to-speech software to work. While my campus has the Disability Resources and Educational Services office (DRES), it is very difficult to work with faculty who do not keep up with the campus required trainings to provide an accessible classroom. From my visits to DRES as an academic mentor intern, it was noted how difficult it was for faculty to provide textbooks to have them adapted for blind students who needed braille in order to review the course material. Along with that, the staff also mentioned how job hunting can be difficult, especially if employers may not know that students may have special needs or disabilities. They mentioned how they had to strategically plan to let employers know without any stigma, with one approach being to ask where handicap parking spaces are. This approach did lead to a higher outcome that students would get an internship or job. When working directly with students, I noticed just how much work is needed to be able to support students with special needs. Within my institution, DRES focused on providing academic and personal support for students to reach their goals. One way which I was able to get involved was by being a notetaker for a student enrolled through the center. Students were able to request a notetaker if they were enrolled with DRES. However, these services were being given to students who were, like myself, also taking the same course, which had its pros and cons for the students who may have needed the notes. For myself, I know the way which I take notes that worked with me was to note what the professor would verbally say in class. But this may not work with everyone, and what could have been done better was a mandatory training to have standard notes so that the students who requested notes may best use them. As I aspire to work in student services and academic counseling within higher education, it is vital for future counselors like myself to practice holistic advisement. By working with the student as a whole and not just focusing on academics, counselors can identify potential barriers to success and plan ways to get through those barriers so students can reach their academic, professional, and personal goals. I plan on working with different services and centers and best learn about what they offer to students in order to best support students. I believe every student deserves accommodation, support, and access to resources to thrive within their journeys. Every student has a set of needs, and as a counselor, I want to be able to cater specific strategies depending on the student's needs. I plan on working with students on a holistic view, because not every student has the same circumstances.

Without the connections I have made not just with my classmates, faculty, and staff, but also with the students I have served, my goals would not have been shaped into holistic advisement. As I started my undergraduate journey, I was able to make a connection with my academic advisors, who provided both resources on campus and a safe space for students like me to express myself and really gave me unconditional support for exploring possible careers. While I had my family to support me, most of the time I felt like I was living in two worlds, where I was not being viewed as a whole person. At home, I am a daughter first, and a student second, while on campus, I was first a student. With my advisors, they took the time to learn about who I was as a whole, the entire Kaylen. Coming into college as a first-generation student, my idea of a college student was from the movies, where there were big, intimidating lecture rooms and everyone fended for themselves. My long-term advisor always checked in with me and always gave me space to explore new areas. She provided me with the space to change my area of study, and eventually, even encouraged and supported me in applying to graduate school, something I never even imagined I would be able to do, let alone be admitted! Relationships and connections have played a vital role in shaping my development as a young adult and as a young professional. As someone who is aspiring to focus my career on working with students in higher education, my goal is to focus on holistic counseling. Working with students while being a student has allowed me to learn how pursuits in higher education and dream careers involve the person as a whole. While most of my records are primarily quantitative data, like grade point average, there is a person who has a life away from academia. My relationships have encouraged me to continue to make more connections and relationships with the students I will continue to meet. As I start my graduate school journey, I would like to continue to build relationships with both my peers and the students I will be working with. Relationships are vital for working with a team and providing the best services to those we serve. Within my current work as a student office assistant, we build relationships within the office, where we are very familiar with our roles, while also being familiar with others around the campus. Having those connections within the campus allows us to best serve the students by being able to refer students to the offices and staff who can best support the students' requests. With every student I have interacted with, there is always a case-by-case scenario, and there is always a different response. What has always come back around is the relationship built with the students and staff. I have learned about the aspirations our students have within their area of study, and through those small conversations, there is a sense of encouragement from those people we interact with. Without the relationships I have made throughout my undergraduate journey, I would have never been able to make it to a point where I found a career that aligns with my goals as a professional. But the journey does not end there, and I will be continuing to look for those relationships within my graduate school journey as a first-generation low-income student. Because relationships continue to evolve and grow stronger as we encourage and support.