Imagine waking up one morning in unbearable pain, without being able to feel your neck or arms. That unbearable pain becomes your life for the next 7 years. Day after day, wanting to die, being told repeatedly that nothing was wrong, you were simply “crazy”. Specialist after specialist, test after test, yet nothing. Absolutely nothing. Your hope slowly begins to drift away. I didn't have to imagine this, it is my reality. That was until I was diagnosed with an incurable disease, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, known as the “suicide disease”. CRPS is the worst known pain to humans, according to the McGill Pain Index. At first, I was reassured that if I went to 7 therapy sessions a week I would be fine. As years passed nothing changed, I was still in terrible pain all of the time despite trying every known treatment. I was out on home instruction, lost most of my friends, couldn't participate in any of my favorite activities, and was barely surviving.
The pain continued to win and my hope was dwindling when I convinced my mom a service dog was the right choice. Coming from a single-parent household with a medically complex child doesn't leave room for any extras. Fundraising was the only option. We put the deposit down and less than a year later I was matched, which was shocking considering we were told it would be around a two-year wait. We later traveled almost 600 miles to meet my soon-to-be service dog and to finalize our training. The second I met him I knew he was my second chance, so I named him Chance. Chance quickly became my lifeline, independence, and reason to keep fighting despite it all.
Two months later I thought it was just another day, another doctor but this one was different. Dr.Klinge, the neurosurgeon, came into the room, read my medical history, listened to my symptoms, and believed me! She saw something that no one else did, the thing my mom and I were seeing all along—a tethered spinal cord and Chiari Malformation. Surgery was scheduled for less than a month later. She had my entire life in her hands, one wrong move and I was paralyzed. Yet despite it all, I trusted her because she trusted me. Although the surgery successfully untethered my spine, I still have daily struggles that I continue to work through, and will for the rest of my life but I wouldn't change a thing. Throughout the entire hospital stay, Chance stayed by my side, never wavering. He laid on me when I cried, licked my face until I laughed, and stayed strong for me when I couldn't.
I would not be here today, applying to college, finally living -not just surviving– if it wasn't for him. I credit so much to Chance, he gave me not only my independence back but also my normalcy. Although this journey has not been an easy one, I wouldn't trade it for the world. It has empowered me to share my story to help others so they know they are not alone. I can't wait to start my medical career and be able to ensure that no patient feels the way I did. I will be the person I waited so long for, the person who knows what it's like to not be believed. I realized through the challenges, the times you want to break down and cry, the times you do break down and cry, the times you want to give up– those are the times when you grow. This is my second chance.