I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder when I was 21 and have had my diagnosis for nearly 5 years now. As it stands now, so many women are underdiagnosed due to the stigma and overall view of the mental disorder and I unfortunately fell victim to this for the majority of my life. I cannot put into words the relief I felt having a real explanation for the struggles I experienced throughout my life as ADHD was not as accepted as it is today when I was a kid. My mom was such a loving and caring mother, but I don't think that this would have ever crossed her mind as I was so inherently good at "masking". I remember when I told her of this diagnosis her response was, "Wait, is he (my doctor) sure? You were not a loud kid-- you were actually quiet and well-behaved... Kaylee, maybe you should get a second opinion?". I was actually disruptive, but I think my teachers knew I had some underlying issues that caused my incessant talking-- so they never really reprimanded me in a way that would concern my mother. But really it was because I suffer mainly from the "inattentive" type of ADHD. There are also other types, but we won't get into that. I think I was always the "black sheep" in my family. Nothing I ever did made any sense to anyone else (rightfully so) and I have always been ridiculed for my chaotic, seemingly "unplanned" nature. I was messy, disorganized, never on time or prepared, incapable of completing simple tasks or planning for my future, etc. It was confusing to my parents-- especially my stepdad. We fought a lot and he is a very by-the-book and calculated individual-- and I was his reciprocal. I found myself in a strained relationship with the only father figure I have ever known for the majority of my life. He would ask, "How come you can't simply do what I ask?", which only reaffirmed my ideation that I could NEVER do anything right. I went to my local community college and flunked out-- I decided school wasn't for me and never was. I know this was the furthest thing from the truth but my actions always confused me to the point where when I thought about school, I became depressed. In 2020, my partner reminded me that I am smart and creative-- so I am back in school and already have my associates, and am almost done with my double major in psychology and criminology. So when I found myself hoping to attempt to get my doctorate in psychology, I felt like I was drowning and like I was frozen in uncertainty and overstimulation. But I am happy to report that I have overcome this and I know I have the capacity to understand others in a way that most cannot, and my creative ADHD brain will one day allow me to reform the very broken and dilapidated criminal justice system in the US today. I have the ability to understand things in other ways where a calculated mind cant and I think this makes me an asset to the psychological field. As it stands, we discover more and more about the ADHD/Autistic brain and how amazing individuals who are on the spectrum truly are and I want to also one day try to spread the message that mental disability can be used as an advantage. Too many of us grow up feeling alone and misunderstood and that amounting to "nothing" is the only thing in our future.

I am actually one of the DREAMER kids-- my mom brought me from Mexico City when I was only a year old and for reference, I turn 25 in July. Coupled with that fact, going to a university, in general, is already dreaming BIG. I am graduating from my community college this semester and I will be attending the University of Texas at Arlington to study microbiology and immunology. One day I hope to attend graduate school to achieve this giant dream of mine. The reason it is a big dream is because of the fact that I am a DACA recipient and unfortunately for me, acquisition of funding is an arduous task. To be transparent, I have spent some years of my life angry and so very saddened by the cards I had been dealt; I thought I had it all figured out after high school when I was accepted to Columbia University. This is the first time I realized the true nature of my status and I had a really tough time coming to terms. I took a few years off of school. Eventually, I realized that I am stronger and better than being a quitter. I think about all of those who came before me in the Hispanic community who realized they aren't just another statistic-- and neither am I. So, 2020 rolled around and I enrolled back into classes and remember just HOW much I loved to learn. If I am being honest, I'd definitely say the impact of the Coronavirus influence my choice of dream career! I thought about all the things that are invisible to the human eye and how I wanted to more about all of these things desperately. How could something so small be so powerful and threatening? There is an entire world right under our noses that could (clearly) wreak havoc on an entire planet's way of life, and there is nothing we could do to stop it once its maladaptive effect begins to snowball. I finally, after so many years, regained my hunger for learning and became as motivated as I was then. I want to be someone, I want to be proud of myself, and I no longer want to feel small myself-- as I was made to feel once I realized the personalized challenges I will face. Once I earn my degree, I will move on and study the tiny molecular world and the minute details and intricacies so that one day I can help people who don't understand what is threatening them. I would love to save someone's life or just impose a positive outcome with the knowledge I gain from my many years at university. I have always thought since I was a young kid-- knowledge IS power. Having intellect is the greatest gift that humanity has to offer. I think that attending university is one of the best ways to better yourself and I really hope that I can make this fleeting dream my reality. I am refusing to allow others to control my reality anymore-- because I am a DREAMER.

For the first 21 years, I assumed I was just absentminded and disorganized. For the first 21 years, I assumed I was just obnoxious and tumultuous. For the first 21 years, I assumed I was just impulsive and impatient. I felt that I was just stupid and that was that. For the last four years, I learned that I'm none of those things that I believed so deeply. I was diagnosed with Attention-deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder, which means that I'm neurodivergent. I was diagnosed at 21 and it was liberating-- all these things I, and others, thought of me were disproven and finally offered an explanation for my idiosyncrasies. What I'd interpreted as "stupidity" was just my atypical way of thinking. The diagnosis wasn't a resolution and I understood that. But, it reframed my way of thinking and reconstructed my understanding of myself. I'd put myself down for all of those years, to the point where this was an arduous task. What my diagnosis taught me is that "The Labeling Theory" is real and tangible-- people begin to believe the labels that have been attached to their person by society. I was called stupid so many times that it became normal and I believed and agreed, wholeheartedly. I learned what a blessing it is to be neurodivergent. I am an artist, and I realize I have my own personal fountain flowing with creativity thanks to my disorder. I'm able to hyperfocus on a task and be done in virtually no time. I'm spontaneously energetic-- and I love this about myself. I learned that I'm the only one who can create my self-image and that words are just words. I realized that I was awarded a neurodivergent brain-- the world wouldn't work without people like me, and that's a fact.

My childhood memories are saturated with experiences of being below the poverty line and the effects it inflicted upon my mother and me. My mother and father hadn't completed their education at the time I was born, so monetary inconsistencies plagued us, unremittingly. This was especially true when my parents divorced and my mother was propelled to face that she was now a single mother without a touch of support from anyone. My absentee father's income would never increase in comparison to any economy to follow, which ultimately led him to imagine that I didn't exist. Though, the court ordered my father to authorize us to live in the house left to him by my late great-grandfather. It was colossally dilapidated and on the verge of uninhabitable. The house did actually have tenants-- termites and waterbugs. But they wouldn't deter my strong and devoted mother, as she accepted the encumbrance and comprised a residence that radiated her love. Though it was just us living here, the house felt warm and whole. My mother eventually remarried when I was 8 years old. Subsequently, my younger sister decided to join us on our journey through life. It was then that my mother chose to embark on another attempt at obtaining her bachelor's degree at the age of 45 years old. I was already a college dropout at that time, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that my mother lit a spark inside of me that I had neglected for the majority of my life. When I began my first year in community college, my naiveties yielded a failure, as I was immensely ignorant of the importance of attending college in our current society. I didn't have the passion or motivation to learn—or do anything, for that matter. I decided to enter the food industry as a server. I made decent money for someone my age, I guess I would call this “just enough”. But “just enough” started to not be enough, as I realized that I have so much more to offer the world, and I wasn't realizing my highest potential. When I ventured into the second try at my academic endeavors, my mindset was that the first had produced the permanent moniker that would label my transcripts in boldface font: "UNDERACHIEVER". I unfortunately assumed that I couldn't succeed because universities wouldn't glance twice at my applications. Despite my confidence deficit, I persisted, and soon understood that I had to capitulate to those experiences because they unveiled my purpose to me. My exposure to people in customer service delivered an answer to an intimidating question that I avoided, as it discouraged me: “What do you want to do for the rest of your life?”. This life lesson assimilated my innate capacity to comprehend people on a profound level rather than only interpreting their exterior actions. In the service industry, you encounter multiple people-- some with noticeablely regrettable attitudes. Yet, I can see through their facade. I realized that I can be wise to every angle of the story—whether that be exemplary or immoral. When I figured this out, I chose the path to earn my doctorate in psychology, with a minor in criminology, neuropsychology and clinical research. My inference about my capabilities led me to the conclusion that my passion for this would allow me to thrive in the discipline. I have a talent, and I wish to optimize this ability and turn it into a valuable skill set. I intend on focus on criminal behaviors and the subject's development in life. I wish to one day reform the wildly damaged United States criminal justice system through the means of psychology. Mental health should be something we nurture, not something we abscond through the criminal justice system and seal away in a cell. Our primary means of punishment in today’s society is through retribution—an eye for an eye. My goal is to incorporate rehabilitation into our current criminal procedure. The best way I can think to do this is by working with police departments and initiating training in psychology or incorporating psychologists in the interviewing procedures, permanently. I hope to create a method to prevent further crime. Interviewing these people into oblivion clearly is not an effective method, yet we still use this. Why? I don’t have all the details ironed out just yet as I have not had significant training in psychology at this point in my academic career. I just completed my studies at Tarrant County Community college and am proud to say I have finally acquired my associate’s degree. I also was recently accepted into the University of Texas at Arlington and could not be more ecstatic to embark on my journey to achieve this goal I never imagined possible. I also am enthusiastic to get involved with student life, as my years at TCC were mostly remote due to the pandemic. Knowing that I will be able to learn how to get ahead in school from my peers at university, my goals feel tangible. I've always felt so misdirected due to my lack of interest-- as I never inquired about the opportunity college allows. I know I have a long road ahead to accomplish the daunting task of a doctorate degree, but I know I can, and I know I will finally establish myself as a successful woman. I have so much knowledge to gain, but this is what produces the most excitement within me; I appreciate the fact that the possibilities are infinite—it’s just what you do with them that makes them count. A combination of my mother’s will to get her degree and my failures have ignited a fire inside me that serves as my one-way ticket to achieving my dreams. I will stop at nothing to attain them and the next time you see me-- I'll be changing the world.

There are times I feel I'll never be happy-- that life is pointless. Those are the times that are quiet with a deficit of laughter, and I am certain that whoever may be reading this right now knows the exact description, as it describes a moment that lies inside that filing cabinet of memories. I want you to imagine what you say to yourself in those unbearable moments. You might say, "If I can complete (insert-task-here), I will finally be happy". But what I have realized is that humans have misguidedly created this idea that "becoming happy" is a goal that we could reach in our unpromised, unpredictable futures. But we must remember that "happy" is just a descriptive word for a feeling-- happiness is fleeting and is never promised, as is our futures. I learned to cherish every single insignificant detail of when I feel joy. I inhale every ounce of happiness I may be feeling at the time, and try my very best to preserve every detail with a welcoming embrace. In Texas, the weather is constantly distasteful. But, when I find myself in the midst of a lovely day that consists of sweeping gusts of wind that swallow melancholies, with temperatures in the low 80s, I feel a flush of pure bliss. Or, when my cats are humming simultaneously around my feet with love and affection, I cannot pretend that any of my life struggles take precedence. Or, when I get home from work, and the love of my life is standing in the kitchen and I realize for the zillionth time he is my forever home-- my heart sings. These moments we often fail to realize are the happiest moments we will ever get to tuck away to stay safe in our little filing cabinets.

My mother had a poster of the infamous Billy Joel plastered on her ceiling right above her bed while she was growing up. I think it was more of how "cute" she thought he was rather than his musical talent, but, he has always been her favorite. By proxy, he is one of my favorites too. Since my mother passed down her intense love of Joel to me, I must carry the torch, proudly, by demonstrating how Billy Joel's single, "Vienna", is the song I find to be the most inspirational. I grew up listening to the Piano Man-- even if I was born in 1997. I have always been a sucker for the "oldies", so this is only fitting for me. But, I remember asking my mother who Vienna was when I was younger, and she replied, "Kaylee, this song was made for you, it is your anthem... I am going to let you figure that out". It took me a prolonged amount of time, but 15 years later, I know the answer. I figured out that "Vienna" isn't a person, but an analogy for the passage of time. I have always been an impatient person and as a child, my restlessness was tenfold. The song describes someone who lives life in the fast lane (not to reference the Eagles or anything) and puts emphasis on stopping, and "smelling the roses". As I aged, I realized how quickly time flies and how I need to be more appreciative of the time I do have on this planet, instead of rushing everything. Time is cruel and harsh and will catch you off-guard if you let it, so "Vienna" gave me an understanding of how life is nothing but a bird's song. Life is about the journey, not the destination.

I create art that brings attention to the predispositions placed on minority groups, especially here, in the United States. Visual art gives someone something to observe and makes something feel tangible. My preferred theme lately for my artwork has been the illustration of social inequities and the attention obtained as a result of the pandemic. I feel like this momentum is a once and a lifetime chance to absolve the injustices observed throughout the world. Minority groups of all categories deserve to have attention brought to the institutional racism and outdated racial rhetoric that is still present in their lives. The definition of race is "a social construct that categorizes individuals based on common traits that society deems important". The definition itself indicates that race does not exist. Science cannot back up the claim that race is real, as well as the fact that other parts of the world do not envision races simultaneously. But the Thomas Theorem states, "situations that are defined as real, are real in their consequences", which indicates that racism is a REAL problem. The Thomas Theorem is my inspiration and provocation for creating art that depicts a PALPABLE issue. The aim of my art surrounding racism and inequities in the U.S. is to bring attention to the fact that though race was technically invented by our society, its outcomes are substantial and deplorable. I am currently working on a piece that depicts a young black girl who has internalized dominant group norms, which is an immeasurable injustice independently. I want to show the disparities that people of color face in our nation through their desperate need to assimilate into our culture-- to fit in and survive. My desire with my art is to promote multiculturalism and disregard the dated views of an ethnocentric society.

At times, I find it an arduous task to be as social as I would like to be-- I tend to find myself alone quite often. I do have my partner, though, but he is all I've got. I tend to wish I hadn't disregarded all of the invites from potential companions, which has made it particularly challenging to make friends. This explanation is why I chose "Elanor Oliphant is Completely Fine", by Gail Honeyman, as the most inspiring book I have read. The author should have titled this book "Kaylee Laverty is Completely Fine". The author illustrates the image of a lovely and introverted woman who ventured on a journey of self-discovery. She finds socializing to be an impediment in her life because of unresolved trauma and the emotionally and physically abusive people she has previously allowed into her life. It seems that she blames herself for her trauma, as in one paragraph she says, " I had done [good deeds] in the past...but that was before... and all was lost afterward. I had no one to blame but myself". One day, she notices a musician that she desired to get to know. First, she decided to work on herself. When she feels she is ready, she introduced herself to him; things didn't go as she had planned, and she tried to commit suicide. But, on her journey, she met HER people, and they were under her nose all along. Elanor cracked her shell, but not before going through those desolate and discouraging years of her life. Yet, she overcame her misfortunes and evolved into someone who felt worthy of having friends. I aspire to overcome my fears, just like Elanor Oliphant. I wish to say "I am fine", and truly mean it, just like Elanor Oliphant.

To be completely upfront, I have an eating disorder. In my adolescence, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This is a hormonal disorder that causes multiple cyst formations in the ovaries and also causes them to swell. In addition to the primary issues the disorder brings, it also causes an onslaught of other irregularities: intense weight gain, acne all over the body, menstrual irregularities, etc. I was mostly plagued with acne and excess weight gain. I am only about five feet and one inch, and during this time I weighed roughly 170 pounds. The uninvited 50 pounds caused me internal anguish and loss of confidence. Luckily for me, birth control pills leveled out my hormones and the weight and acne diminished. This didn't deter the impact on my mental health that still torments me today. I formed a strange and unusual relationship with food but I have learned to deal with it, although that wasn't always the case. To preface how I eventually learned to cope with my eating habits, I must explain how I used to behave around food. Binge eating is common among some who endure PCOS and I wasn't excluded. When I was untreated, I would come home from school and eat foods containing tons of sugar in large quantities. I couldn't understand why, but I continued like this for a while. To me, it felt like I couldn't help this behavior and I would do it in secret. Reflecting on this time, I realized this set of behaviors led to the next: purging. I had developed an intense hatred for the sensation of feeling full because of these binge eating behaviors. When I inevitably felt full, I would purge and the cycle repeated. Eventually, I stopped both of these terrible habits once I was treated for PCOS. But the behaviors caused a disconnect within my brain and I stopped eating altogether. This was another period that caused me shame, so I was secretive about this, too. No one ever noticed, either. I was an adult by this time, so I was working long days, upwards of 18-hour shifts, in the rigorous setting of the food industry. This went on for at least a year and my body was beginning to show signs of malnutrition. I was oblivious until one particular day when I was walking up the stairs at my job and I stubbed my toe. This instance was significant because as it turned out, I was so malnourished that I fractured my toe. I recall a feeling of melancholy and I had an almost out-of-body experience as I realized how sad I had become; I was no longer taking care of myself. So, I took up cooking. I always disregarded being in the kitchen as "boring". I never had the desire to cook or learn how for that matter. But, I changed my tune and I started cooking so I could fuel my body with the proper ingredients to optimize my life. I also took up the gym and I will never stop. For the past two years, I've educated myself on fitness and my primary goal was to be healthy and strong. This is not as easy as I made it sound because I still struggle with the idea of eating occasionally, but I realized that I will never revert to that melancholy girl I once knew. Anytime I find myself having trouble, I picture her and imagine the disservice I would be imposing upon her if I ever capitulate to that type of lifestyle.

My goal in pursuing higher education is to ultimately gain my doctorate in psychology. Particularly, I want to focus on criminal behavior and developmental psychology. I wish to reform the inoperative United States criminal justice system through the means of Psychology. Mental health should be something we nurture, not something we abscond through the criminal justice system and lock away in a cell. Our primary means of punishment in today’s society is through retribution- an eye for an eye. My goal is to incorporate rehabilitation into our typical methods in the criminal justice system. I believe there is a more effective method for dealing with criminals that won't cause them more mental anguish. The best way I can think to do this is by working with police departments and initiating training in psychology or incorporating psychologists in the interviewing procedures as a mandatory first step in the process. As history shows, crimes committed that are considered "lesser" can often escalate into a much larger crime. The only way to stop a tragedy is to recognize the signs. Therefore, anyone who comes into contact with the individual as they move through the system should have detailed training in psychology. Bringing awareness to the inclinations of someone who has the capability to commit a heinous act could ultimately lessen the severity of the outcome. The mental health awareness message that should be addressed is the fact that these individuals usually feel rejected by society. There needs to be compassion shown by EVERYONE who works within the criminal justice system. The fact is, one person could change a life, regardless if it is positive or negative in nature. There are millions of cases in which the person is overlooked or dismissed. These indiscretions ultimately result in loss of life, including the criminals themselves.

To put this in the simplest of terms, I want to imprint nothing but positivity in the world. I want the outcasts, the included, the poor, the healthy, the sad, the lonely, the brilliant, the sick, the angry, the shy, and all types of people in between to deeply acknowledge the values and strengths they can bring to the table. And I will. I have this innate ability to understand almost any situation other individuals can find themselves in, meaning I always am able to see all sides of the story. Some people call this empathy, but I wouldn't look at this aptitude in this light. I feel it is something that takes a person who has been through many unsightly situations in their lives, as I have. This is why I wish to pursue psychology and wish to focus on criminal behavior and developmental psychology. I want to optimize my natural ability into a valued skillset. With my doctorate in this discipline, I hope to become a valuable asset in the field. I want to change the way our justice system functions by switching our focus to rehabilitation. I also want to evaluate those who have done something so artifice and give them the tools and strength they need to come back from their mistake. Another way I'd like to leave my mark is by assisting police officers to understand the criminal in question, rather than interviewing them into oblivion. I wish to help change the criminal justice system with psychology-- as many people are being absconded through the system with reckless abandon that has psychological issues. This invokes more psychological concerns for these people in the future. This is the only way I can mentally calculate to absolve the disparities that plague our justice system. And I will.

My best friend in the entire world is my partner of four years. The number of times that he has been my rock is a number you'd never imagine. But, you can't earn someone's loyalty and love overnight, and effort is mandatory to have a person who is unconditionally and irrevocably your friend. Without question, he saved my life. We met when we were only kids, but with no motivation other than friendship, he helped me out of a misfortune I had never experienced. As it turns out, he is my soulmate. Even though I was a shell of myself at the time, he loved me despite my faults and helped me to restore my faith in myself. Now, it is time for me to return the favor. Right now, we are actually going to take a break from being and living with each other, although it breaks my heart. He is going to work on himself and try to grow as an individual since we were just kids when we fell in love. As I mentioned previously, to be a friend is unconditional. So, if this is what we have to do to make him feel whole again, I will do it regardless of my feelings. I will be there for him throughout the whole process and this is reciprocal. To be a friend also means to trust and believe in the relationship, so this is how I know he will come back. We have a deep and unbreakable bond, which we have constructed over years of understanding, loyalty, and of course, love. I will be there for him during his adversity, just like he was there during mine. To be a friend is to give it your best, and continuously provide support and love, no matter what happens.

My favorite form of self-care is through my art. Creating artwork makes me feel so accomplished and there is no better sensation in the world than completing a piece I have been working on for weeks. Not to mention, I am clearing my head from all the stresses involved in my life, and letting it all out onto a blank canvas. When I allow myself time to create, I am grinning from ear to ear and my partner can attest to this sentiment. It serves as a version of alone time, as it helps me to turn off my ever-moving brain. I am neuro-divergent, as I have ADHD. As you can imagine, there is always noise inside of my head. I require an outlet to escape this and it is noticeable if I don't have the time that week. The self-expression form of mental health maintenance will put me into a much better mood since I had a moment of peace while I worked. I am always having rushing thoughts about anything and everything, so journaling is another way I practice personal care. I am not the best at articulating how I am feeling aloud, but if I can write it out first I am able to formulate a good idea of my emotions. If I do not do this before I speak about something that has made me upset or angry in any way, it will always affect my personal relationships. When I discovered this outlet, I could not believe how much my relationships had improved. I learned that if something was intensely bothering me, I had to put my pen to paper. These forms of self-care have rescued me from many afflictions, but most importantly, not losing my mind. Self-expression and self-care are two peas in a pod.

Teaching yourself to obtain a growth mindset is nothing short of challenging, especially if you have an ADHD brain like myself. I recently realized how insightful and motivating it is to acquire this kind of mental state. I have always been an anxious person and ADHD is anxiety-provoking all on its own, but I had to learn to deal with it. I decided that I was going to improve my life, as I had realized the mindset I had was holding me back from progression. This endeavor took me an obstinate amount of time to accomplish, and have yet to perfect this type of mentality. I have always been one to discredit myself, but I started to direct my thoughts in another direction. Instead of believing I was facing a challenge, I thought of it as an opportunity for growth. I stopped viewing my failure as a defeat and looked a little deeper, and I realized they were actually just learning avenues. I also discovered on this journey that I am my number one fan and that I am the only form of approval I need. As I said earlier, my thoughts have always been plagued with self-doubt, so this was particularly daunting for me to instill in myself. I still struggle with it, but one day I'll gain the confidence I desperately desire. Most importantly, I keep my growth perspective by embracing all my flaws and loving them, since they are a part of me. I no longer wish to discard them, only to believe in myself to correct them or show them off with extreme pride.

Patience has always been a difficult skill for me. My mother used to scold me all of the time about it, but I didn't actually learn the value of patience until my early adulthood. I was impatient and excited when looking for an apartment, and the first one I toured, was the one I signed the lease. As it turned out, I had gotten a shoddy deal and was overcharged for a poorly run apartment. I would say this was my first lesson on how practicing patience is imperative. From the way things played out with my first apartment, I took note of the reasons why I must be patient. I realized that when you go into a situation being impatient, you will not receive the desired result. Impatience directly creates mistakes as you aren't thinking clearly. For example, it is like being in a rush to get to work on time. I forget my phone or my glasses, my wallet or anything crucial to be prepared for the workday. I would also say that being patient is a calming experience. This is when you can plan and think correctly without the twinge of anxiety you get when you are rushing something. I wish it was easier said than done, but learning patience and understanding are so important as you age. Time stops for no one, but it moves in the blink of an eye. I always tell myself when I begin to be impatient, "Stop Kaylee, smell the roses". This calms me down and continues to help me from doing anything rash.

It was very difficult to choose my favorite work of art out of all of my creations, but I believe my favorite is the one titled, "Because of them, we can...". I believe it is my favorite because of the sentimental value and the explosion of alluring color. I created this piece as a submission for a contest at my previous college, Tarrant county college. The prompt given for this contest was for the "Rhythm of Juneteenth", in honor of Ms. Opal Lee. If you are unaware, she is the vivacious and inspirational woman who had worked tirelessly, as she had aspired for juneteenth to be declared a federal holiday. She had demanded awareness of this issue and of course, she received it because she walked from Fort Worth, Texas to Washington, D.C. as a form of protest. At the very center of my piece is a beautiful woman of color with her modern, yet traditional, style of clothing. Her hair is indicative of my favorite hairstyle worn by African American women and my reason for choosing the style is based on my best friend from high school. Her name is Arden Heard and she is a person of color. I remember always admiring her hair because I always desired to have hair just like hers. She is also depicted with her arms above her head as she breaks her pictured handcuffs into tiny pieces. I decided to add the handcuffs to indicate the unjustified restraints many people of color, unfortunately, still yield. Whether the fact that laws against them still exist or not, people of color still experience racial injustice to this day. This is the reason I had created an African American woman who appears modern still bearing a restriction-- even if the laws that had restrained her ancestors had already been outlawed. As I stated earlier, I entitled the piece, "Because of Them, We Can...". I named it this because of their African American Ancestors. As you likely already know, segregation did not end until the early 1960s, as well as slavery, which only ended 100 years earlier. There are many poems and quotes that pay homage with this title to the unfair treatment of black Americans throughout the entirety of American history. This title is a beacon of hope for many people of color residing in America today-- who still endures racism daily. I also incorporated multiple fists, in a plethora of skin tones, that surround the woman in the center. Currently, social media has been flooded with images of the symbol of a black fist-- as this represents the progressive Black Lives Matter movement. I intended to illustrate this idea that people of all colors stand with the group who have been the recipients of outdated racial rhetoric for centuries. The piece I created, in honor of Ms. Opal Lee, is my handpicked selection favorite because of the meaning and sentimental value that is attached to it. This digital piece signifies the suffering people of color experienced based on their race, all the while attempting to celebrate their culture that is based on their race. The African American culture is surrounded by soulful music, which is the reason behind my inclusion of all of the popular instruments found within popular African American music. All of the elements I chose for a reason, as I wanted to represent those that have been underrepresented for far too long. Mrs. Opal Lee was so happy to see my piece and this is my favorite part of the whole thing-- it put a smile on her face.

When I first began my studies, I had just graduated high school, and I only enrolled to appease my mother. She had presented me with an ultimatum: Either I go to college or I will be kicked out. My mother wrote me a contract and I promise I am not trying to amuse you, so I began my college career. But just as you likely guessed, I ultimately failed my first two years and didn't go back until 2020, at 22 years old. When I returned to school, it was during our collective time of lockdown. I spent every waking moment studying for school. I knew I had finally chosen a field of study that encompassed my true calling: Psychology. I recently received my associate's degree from my community college and I am determined to receive my doctorate in psychology. I want to focus on criminal and developmental behavior. I discovered that I have this innate ability to understand people and their behavior. I have made a promise to myself: I will become an asset to my discipline and I will refine my current understanding into a polished skill set. I know, without a glimpse of doubt, that I can accomplish this daunting task. I have tenacity, determination and an understanding of the effort this will require. Though I may have the intense desire to fuel my endeavor, unfortunately, I don't have the funds. As of now, I have applied to the University of Texas at Arlington's psychology department and I am confident I will be accepted. The only problem is that there was an oversight with admissions and they had the understanding that I went to another college when I certainly did not. This delayed my application evaluation for an entire month, therefore, I have missed the scholarships provided by the school. I recognize that I had applied after the priority date, but I was not sure of my future and whether or not I would be relocating. But, with that said, the setback hasn't stopped me from applying for over 50 scholarships in the past month. Additionally, my family would have been considered the lower class when in my childhood. Therefore, I did not have a college fund. When I first went to college, I wasted time and my money. I had little understanding of FAFSA, as I did not educate myself. At the time, my mother hadn't gone back to receive her degree, so she also couldn't assist my understanding of the awarding of FAFSA money. So, ignorantly I believed the money I received from FAFSA to be "free", when in fact, I had received loans. Clearly, I did not read the fine print. I have accrued a $15,000 student loan debt, on top of what I will need to finish my education. What makes me a bit disheartened is the fact that there are probably aspiring students who ended up with a large student loan debt, just as I did. In sum, I am honored to have opportunities such as this scholarship. If there were no options like this, I would have to renounce my dreams. This would fracture a piece of me and I am more than elated to write a million essays just as this one if it means my educational journey would end on a high-note. I can't wait to embark on this journey, but I am confined by lack of funding to do so. I hope you will consider me as a recipient, but am appreciative of this opportunity, regardless the outcome. Thank you so much.

I was always a person who always considered others' opinions above my own since I had extreme confidence issues. The most impactful situation was in middle school; I received a bright, lemon-yellow jacket for Christmas that I adored, so I wore it to school as soon as I got the chance. Unfortunately, the first time I wore it was also the last time as I was ridiculed for wearing the coat by my classmates. I regret this decision since it reinforced the idea that as long as I did not wear things out of the societal norm, I would never be subjected to that kind of response again. This naïve thought process put me through years of vacillating myself. My family was also quite judgmental, so it just felt like I had to become this malleable person, and therefore, I did. I realized, as I aged, that this is not who I am supposed to be so, I arduously grew out of this moldable person and set myself into stone. I stay true to myself by conscientious expression and I never gratify the will of society if it's not my intention. I don't let anyone else's thoughts invade my personal space or influence my visions. I no longer get this confused with constructive criticism. If someone had criticized me in the past, I took it to heart was plagued with anxious thoughts over these words. But, I learned not all critics are harmful as they are typically trying to help me. I am strong enough to point out my faults and discover how to absolve them. I don't lie to myself anymore. I proudly display myself in all of my glory in honor of the past version of myself who was not yet strong enough to live by her desires.

My grandfather had a philosophy that I find to be exigent regarding personal rules for financial strength. At two years old, my grandfather came to America from Italy. He became a very frugal individual because of his many experiences with poverty. The man often stashed money around the house because he experienced the devastating depression in the 1920s; this was a normal behavior during this time. I remember him repeatedly reciting his life's motto, "If you don't have the soldi (money), you can't afford it. Ricordate che, sempre (remember that, always)". As time passed, his words replayed in my head in tough financial times. I think what he said has an intense value, even if seemingly this is an unoriginal and palpable view most should already recognize. As such, I don't believe all financially unstable individuals truly follow this philosophy. With technology, purchasing items has become impetuously accessible. One click and you receive a package in 24 hours. Additionally, fast marketplaces like Amazon are relatively inexpensive. But, small purchases multiply; this is difficult to imagine at the moment of purchase. If you can't afford something, don't buy it. This is an imperative step to optimize your personal finance. This also applies to credit-- overspending on a credit card is the same as overspending on your checking account. My grandfather did not have much experience with credit, as times are different. But, I am positive he would tell me the same things. I have personally experienced a budget deficit, many times. It's a daunting task to refine your spending habits, especially in a world where technology and society have glorified materialistic purchases. But, if you want to be a financially sound individual, you must remember my late grandfather's important words-- though, I don't recommend stashing money around your home.

Among the onslaught of memories I have acquired in my 24 years, one, in particular, grabs my attention in an instant. This would be that my mother and I were impecunious and we were considered members of the lowest rung of the socioeconomic ladder. The experiences I had at the beginning of my life, without a doubt, made me who I am in the present. To paint a picture, my mother was a newly single parent. We were living in a dilapidated house provided by my destitute father as a form of child support since his income would not allow monetary payments. The house was egregious and rotting, where water bugs and termites were considered tenants. My mother is ashamed of this time, but I admired her for it since this was all she could muster; I believed her to be exceptional, regardless. Although this house was obsolescent, my mother made it our home—where I felt safe. My motivation for establishing effort into every single one of my ventures is derived from this memory of my childhood. My mother's attempt at constructing a home from nothing but a pile of wood is what invoked my realization for why certain things elicit value is due to the effort behind them, not a price tag. This experience made me appreciative of what I have because it can be worse; I understand this well. I think this is what fueled my mother's drive to work toward a diploma. She knew that this endeavor was the only way out of our dismal situation, and my mother's actions are what has inspired me to acquire my doctorate in psychology. The message I wish to convey effort is essential to life and this is proven by my story of the house that transformed into a home.

The world is an ugly, grueling, and inauspicious place. Someone will kick you while you're already down, igniting a sense of doubt in humanity. Many people experience this and become innately discourteous and salacious-- as I am certain we have all experienced this person. Although this sentiment can be accurate, the world can also be illustrated as a remarkable, jubilant, and tranquil space. Therefore, the real question is, why are there two seemingly opposite views of the world? As I see it, humanity is what elicits each of these two characterizations. My favorite quote is, "You get what you give", and that's the naked truth. I have adopted this attitude as a lifestyle; my preferred way to pass out positivity is to always express my gratitude for others' help. Reinforcing another's act of kindness, puts the act on a continuum, so to speak. When you support someone else, they in turn feel inherently dignified for being a genuine and kind person. They will continually give out assistance to others in the future and hopefully, they will also do the same-- so on and so forth. To put this in perspective, can you imagine an instance where you helped someone else, and you felt they lacked any appreciation? If so, did this reaction drive your desire to assist someone again? Likely, your answer is no, all in speculation, of course. My point is that people often desire affirmations, even subconsciously. I am unsure why, but the old "pass it on" commercials remained in my mind, and has had preserved impact in my life ever since; I do believe in their message, and I think everyone should reflect and work on enacting the "pass it on" lifestyle; it will lessen the negative perspectives that many direct toward our world.

Conceptualizing a dream life is an arduous task from my standpoint since as of this moment, I have only created an outline. At first, I contemplated all of the elementary ideas that I could incorporate into my life based on societal values. For example, the American dream indicates that having children, buying a big house, getting married, and establishing a great career constitutes the fundamentals of a dream life. But, in my eyes, these aren't the guidelines I aim to follow in terms of my future goals and lifestyle. When I peer into my crystal ball, I can't discern any particular outward appearance that would describe my life. I think self-discovery and an abundance of knowledge would make up my life's composition, though. I would like to have completed my doctorate in psychology and I would like to become a true contributor to this discipline. I also hope that on this lengthy journey, I would have ironed out who I truly am and carry myself with complete and utter confidence, despite my fears of failure. Also, I would like to think that my current partner is still along for the ride as my best friend in the entire world. Simply, I want to be able to look back on my life in my old age and appreciate my accomplishments. I want to feel like I have checked all of the boxes and loaded my brain with as much knowledge as I possibly could for one lifetime. Regarding "the American Dream", I have a come-what-may view of this popular choice for a life path. My ultimate life goal is to be able to say that I made beautiful, bold decisions by chasing my dream of intellect accompanied by true belief in myself. I just want to be fearless.

Life can be teeming with a plethora of unpleasant quandaries and it can be easy to view a situation with the eyes of a pessimist. Although complaining may be an effortless response, it is a small-minded one, and being optimistic while holding on to hope is the key to becoming someone special. Resorting to negativity is an easy road to take during a difficult time, one I used to take at every turn. For me, it was acquiescent to blame situations on an outside force for my misfortunes. It felt natural to respond with negativity, but I now realized that this outlook is faulty-- as you are the designer of your own life. It is unhealthy to believe that I can control every aspect of my life, but I can set the tone with my reactions. I can create a comfortable space in my mind with hope, as this permits the unforeseen predicaments to feel minuscule in comparison to my future. I learned positivity yields an open-minded perspective with an emphasis on empathy for others. Years ago, I found myself in a crisis that changed my perspective of my negative outlook. I was the cause of a terrible car accident and I was the only one injured, luckily. I bring this up because I was the sole instigator, but my initial reaction was to place blame on my surroundings. I was quite injured, so when I was in my bed for weeks recovering, I felt the urge to analyze my reaction in this instance. I detested my reaction and I realized my childhood trauma synthesized a trauma response where I became defensive in almost every situation throughout my life. When I realized this, I knew that I could absolve this behavior by putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses.

Typically, I am not drawn to photography artwork. I have personally become accustomed to photos since they have been popularized with technology, which means it is difficult to create a photo that will blossom in a sea of millions just like it. Intentional brush strokes and particularly placed shadows that are accompanied by a beautiful story are what would create an eloquent photograph, in my opinion. So, with that in mind, I'd claim that Cindy Sherman's "Untitled Film Series" (1978) is one for the history books. More specifically, the piece with the title of "Untitled Film Still #21". Personally, I feel that her photos produce this synchronized sense of being arduous and effortless. Sherman works solely with self-portrait photographs. What intrigues me, though, is that she embraces each individual role required to produce her piece in solitude. She is the photographer, the make-up artist, the stylist, the director, and everything in between. She floods her piece with energy, exerting every skill to her finest ability. I think Cindy Sherman's "Untitled Film Still #21" is the most beloved by the population because of the emotion and intrigue on her face-- as she presents herself as a woman in the big city. It portrays an impression of loneliness and mirrors how it must feel to be a woman who desires to take on the world during a time that made women feel insignificant. Most of her pieces in this series embody a theme of an old 1950s movie, and for many, this brings back nostalgic sentiments, which were incorporated purposefully by Sherman. This photo, in particular, exemplifies how old Hollywood must have felt and brought Sherman a prestigious place in the art world. The photo has a type of aura that intrigues many, including myself who usually has no interest in photography.

If you've ever played a team sport or worked a job of any variety, you understand that these two things have one thing in common; synergy is necessary to achieve whatever goal in question. This principle can be applied to soccer practice or at a macro-level scale-- not only in the typical circadian human activity. Let's say we apply this ideology in a global sense, imagine the amazing things we can accomplish when we work as a collective despite our innate differences. It is wishful thinking to assume that everyone across the world could enact "world peace" just by shouting from the rooftops that "teamwork makes the dream work". But, we can work as a collective with organizations like the Unity Rallies in Paris, the Olympics, the United Nations, the fight against Ebola, so on and so forth. The examples are proof we have the ability, it's just a matter of desire to become a coalition of this magnitude. There are issues we can tackle as a team all across our globe, as long as we don't allow our pride to inhibit the goal. We can do this by understanding that education is vital to even begin to conceptualize this idea of the world working with synergy. Humanity has parts of its history that are certainly ugly, but they need to be globally recited, word for word, as an admonition. Schools across the world should never be censored, and the United Nations could come together and work on conveying this exhaustive message. I am certain, in every country, that they have similar quandaries as their neighboring countries-- like poverty and hunger. We did it with human rights; I believe that a resolution can be found in educating the world's population on taboo subjects that can bring about an unstoppable force.

Historically, people of color have had a predisposition of racial prejudice imposed upon their race due to outdated rhetoric that seems implausible for them to abscond. As a white female, I will never discern how it feels to be disparaged based on my skin color, although I can comprehend how this feels to be a woman in a man's world. I want you to assume you live in the late 1800s trying to become successful while you are continuously deprecated about who you are based on your gender or race. At this time, the U.S. police force was relatively new and women were rarely among its members- much less black females. Georgia Robinson was a black woman who achieved the title of the first black female police officer. Robinson displayed a type of rare and tenacious presence. She didn't have any parents, but this didn't stop her from becoming a remarkable woman. In California, she was hired initially to be a jail matron and soon was working with women and children violence cases and the NAACP, and then opened a shelter. Her career with the LAPD was prematurely inhibited by an accident that left her permanently blind. Robinson's title nor her work articulates the reason I chose her, it was this quote: "I have no regrets... I have seen all there is to see". Although she couldn't see visually, she persisted without circumvention. Being black and female in a time where those two attributes defined a person’s value was a difficult feat; these elements took everything and brought nothing. What should be understood is that one’s display of humanity is what constitutes a person’s value. What I took away from her story is this: As long as courage and determination are present in one's self, the outcome could move mountains.