Everyone has been told, “You can’t…you’re not good enough …you’ll never be …” Being doubted is a part of life. The first time I experienced this was when the people in my life realized that I was serious about becoming author. When I was a kid, I loved telling stories. As a preschooler, I drew pictures and told my teachers what to write. After I learned to write, I flourished. I focused more on writing creative assignments rather than stories, but I still enjoyed the craft. However, in sixth grade, my life changed when I met a man who believed in an idea I had never considered.
My bus driver announced he was retiring to take care of his sick wife. So, I wrote him a letter, sending him well wishes and thanking him for his work. I gave the letter to him on his last day. After school, he stopped me, took my hand, and thanked me profusely for the letter. He complimented me on how moving and well-written it was. He said, “I’ll buy your first book.” That simple sentence was the reason I turned my attention to writing novels. I’ll always be thankful to my bus driver for saying this, even though I never learned his name.
For the next few years, people just smiled and nodded when I said I wanted to be an author. When it came time to apply to colleges and I revealed my major was going to be Creative Writing, the polite smiles disappeared. “You can’t do that,” said more people than I can count, including my parents. “You’ll never make a living writing stories.” I never outright challenged the doubters, although I wish I had. I should have proudly displayed my manuscripts and poems, saying, “Look at all that I’ve written so far. See what I can do?”
I don’t talk about what I write much because the little I have shared has earned comments about how “dark” and “uncomfortable” my topics are. When I write, I become vulnerable, and being transgender is certainly a vulnerable thing. Hate crimes against LGBTQ+ people are a reality, but that’s just one harsh truth I write about. For some, the ‘troubled teen industry’ is a reality. Abusive relationships are a reality. I, myself, was abused for nine years, and to this day, I’m still dismissed and shut down when I try to talk about it. But I do write about it.
I write about challenging things for people that cannot speak for themselves. I know there will be someone who reads my work and is comforted by the knowledge that their story isn’t an isolated event. That is the person I write for, not for the people who deny, dismiss, and ignore the struggles others face. It’s important to be seen, heard, and respected. I’ve always had a passion for writing, but that compassionate bus driver brought it out with a few words of encouragement and confidence.
I mulled over the dedication for my book for a long time. Should I dedicate it to people without the words to tell their story? A supportive friend? I wasn’t sure. And then, I saw that that bus driver again. He didn’t remember me, but he was the reason I staked my heart on becoming an author. On the drive home, I decided to on the dedication. It reads, “This book is dedicated to a man whose name I never learned, but who believed in me. To my sixth-grade bus driver, who said he would buy my first book -- thank you for changing my life.”