At the end of my abusive relationship with my ex-boyfriend, I was 15 pounds underweight, clocking in at 96 pounds as a 5'5” female, with my "healthy weight" averaged at 135 pounds. It was incredibly disturbing that I let a man-child who became an alcoholic before he even turned 18 ruin my self-esteem, my health, and almost my life. He broke up with me over text the day before a scheduled surgery for my torn meniscus. I was at my lowest, incapacitated on my couch, unable to bend my knee, and the person I thought was the love of my life had left me after two years of what I believed was unconditional love. Little did I know, I was a victim of emotional and psychological abuse, leading me to develop a sort of Stockholm Syndrome and stress-induced anorexia. My eating disorder led me to develop anemia and low ferritin levels, which in turn rendered me unable to donate blood, a source of purpose in my life. I was spiraling into self-doubt over allowing myself to be mistreated for so long. Just as I felt I was succumbing to my pain, my band director reached out a helping hand. My band director's name is William Timmerman, fondly known by all of his students as Mr. T. Mr. T is a beloved individual in our community, decorated with various awards for his musicianship and teaching expertise. He’s so much more than a teacher, though. He’s a mentor and a dear friend to all. He always has been, and still is, a friendly face to turn to in times of need. He’s the type of person to set part of his salary aside to donate to students less fortunate for them to participate in his ensembles, and he has. This generosity is not only monetary, but also emotional. His office is always open to those who need to speak to someone. Mr. T is a safe person for so many people, including me. He was an unwavering beacon of support while I was going through my healing process after my breakup. He was reassuring and gave advice only when I was ready to hear it. I can honestly credit him with being one of the main reasons I was even able to recover. He didn’t just use his position as an educator to teach students how to play their instruments; he utilized it as a tool to connect with human beings on a personal level. Mr. T is an inspiration to all, and I’m making it my life mission to help people, just like him. June 8, 2025, marked six months since my escape from my abusive ex. I have an entire lifetime of mental prosperity ahead of me now, and I know I want to spend it using my position as a future music teacher to provide relief and solace to students who otherwise wouldn’t have anybody else to turn to. I’m going to Indiana University Bloomington to pursue my degree, and I can’t wait to use it to help people. I hope I can make Mr. T proud, as he is such a high standard to look up to. I want to use my experiences as a victim of romantic partner violence to advocate for upcoming generations of people who may fall victim to the dangers of dating in their young adult life. I want to be a beacon of support for anyone who might be going through a difficult time. If I can’t do anything else, I just want to be an open ear of support.

Much like Kalia D. Davis, I was a track and field athlete. However, my career was cut short in my senior season due to a torn meniscus in my right knee. It broke my heart knowing I would not run a single race during my final year of high school after being a runner since the fourth grade. Running was my passion, my specialty, and what I was good at. In fact, as I am writing this essay, I am still in the healing process, working my absolute hardest to regain my health and strength. I try to stay resilient and motivated in the face of difficulty and hardship. Whether my struggles are physical, mental, or environmental, I attempt to remain positive and headstrong in the face of adversity. One of the ways I adapted to the situation I have been placed in was switching my focus from athletics to something I know would bring me more success. I decided to place all of my efforts into being a musician, focusing deeper in my bassoon playing. The time I would usually spend running laps at track practice is instead spent playing my instrument for countless hours. Instead of strength training, I make myself familiar with the practice rooms, my finger's flurrying through technical etudes. My headspace has migrated from tearing apart my body to be an athlete to perfecting my craft as a musician. In addition, I have also volunteered in other music organizations in the community. I, along with others in my school's ensembles, raised over two thousand dollars in a fundraiser to pay for students struggling financially to play in the marching band. My newfound dedication to music has assisted me in figuring out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I discovered I want to be a music teacher. I want to help future students who might struggle with whatever is happening in their lives. I want to be the same mentor for them that my band directors were for me. I want to be a listening ear, a guiding hand, a leader by nature, not just by title. I want to be able to focus all of my energy into being a musical educator and mentor for my future students. Unfortunately, the education field does not pay very high, and one of my biggest fears is being in debt for the rest of my life as a result of pursuing my dreams. I have been accepted into my dream school, the Indiana University Jacobs School of Music, which only has a twenty-five percent acceptance rate. I desire to attend this university because it would provide me the best opportunities later on in the workforce, but if I were not to receive financial aid, I would be on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars that I would struggle for the rest of my life to pay back. That is why I have been applying to every single scholarship I qualify for. I am a person who does whatever it takes to achieve her goals. I have toiled over countless essays for hundreds of hours in the hopes that they will help me pay for my college. This scholarship would be a tremendous help to me, as it will likely cover the costs of various essentials in my first year of college. It will certainly be stressful trying to acclimate to university life, but a lesser financial burden will lift a weight off of my shoulders and help me thrive in that unfamiliar environment. Thank you so much for considering my application.

The adults in my life always had extremely high expectations of me. My parents treated every mistake I made growing up as an outright insult to their parenting and integrity. My teachers would follow their lead and would never answer any questions I had because it was always assumed I knew the answer. This treatment left me constantly needing to solve all of my problems without any help from other people. Lack of input from peers caused me to become hyper-independent and controlling. I was expected to be this perfect child who did no wrong, and even with these unrealistic demands to be this all-knowing individual, I was one of the most sheltered kids in my class. I was so overwhelmed by the time I was in fifth grade, I made a suicide attempt. I did not even know what depression was; all I knew was that I wanted out of the world. My mom luckily stopped me from ending my life, but instead of being met with concern, I was grounded and had my door taken away. While I am glad her tough love kept me alive, I do look back and wish my struggles were met with more warmth and sympathy. I never had any true support circles in my early years of life. I was isolated and usually spent my recess making up solo games and fantastic stories on the monkey bars. I did not have strong bonds with my peers or my family. I was alone. In the years following my suicide attempt, I still greatly struggled with my mental health. I was not taken seriously because I always had a smile pasted on my face. I always listened to other people about their problems but never had anyone listen to me about mine. Throughout middle school, I made an obviously painful effort to fit in and be liked by my classmates. However, as I grew more comfortable and confident in my skin, I finally adopted the mindset that I would never please everyone in my life, and I needed to find peace in that fact. I ended up becoming a happier, healthier person, and that in itself brought me more friends and connections. I embraced my quirks, playing as a bassoonist in the band, playing basketball, and running cross country and track. I was finally becoming my own person. Going into high school, I finally found my purpose in life during the spring of my freshman year. With the advice of my band director, I discovered my path was to become a music teacher. When I embraced my purpose, however, I unfortunately took my dedication a bit too far. I lost myself in the whirlwind of instrumentation and performance. When spectating an orchestra, it is very easy to simply listen to the music and not put any thought into the hours it took to prepare for the performance. It is even easier to not look for individual faces, and simpler still to not wonder about the life of a musician onstage. I have struggled with forgetting about my own life in the midst of rehearsing and repeating the same passage in my music until my fingers calloused over and my tongue bled. My mind is an orchestra, and in my symphonic life, I neglected to give my musicians a break. I became irritable, and unmotivated to work on anything besides my songs. My mind became consumed with scrambled notes and rhythms. I was no longer me; I was a shell who believed her only purpose was to play bassoon. However, my band director rediscovered a spark in me that had not been kindled since my sophomore year of high school. He helped me unbury the person I used to be and spoke me out of the spiral I had been sliding down for months at that time. He made me realize that music is still my medicine, but I need to be careful to not overdose. He helped me create a healthy balance between music and the rest of my life, and now, I love music more than ever before. Now that I have a more well-rounded life, I’ve been given more opportunities to perform with other amazing musicians, such as the LaPorte County Symphony Orchestra and the Valparaiso University Orchestra. I have been blessed with meeting so many amazing people in the business, and I look forward to making my contributions to the world of music. I am certain that I want to be a band teacher and director and help other people the way my teacher helped me. I want to be a safe haven for future students who do not want to be at school. I want to spread my love for music to all who are willing to listen, and in turn, embrace struggling individuals in the warmth I craved as a child at war with herself.

My passion for music lies in the devotion I have dedicated to the craft. I've spent thousands of hours perfecting rhythms and notes with articulate precision. My life revolves around using my brush, the bassoon, to paint beautiful, melodic pictures into the minds of my listeners. I practice and improve upon my technique so I can be as strong as a musician I can. I need to secure my place as a confident, necessary member of the orchestra; an integral piece to a musical puzzle. When spectating an orchestra, it is very easy to simply listen to the music and not put any thought into the hours it took to prepare for the performance. It is even easier to not look for individual faces, and simpler still to not wonder about the life of a musician onstage. I have struggled with forgetting about my own life in the midst of rehearsing and repeating the same passage in my music until my fingers calloused over and my tongue bled. My mind is an ensemble, and in my symphonic life, I neglected to give my musicians a break. I became irritable, and unmotivated to work on anything besides my songs. My mind became consumed with scrambled notes and rhythms. I was no longer me; I was a shell who believed her only purpose was to play bassoon. However, my band director rediscovered a spark in me that had not been kindled since my sophomore year of high school. He helped me unbury the person I used to be and spoke me out of the spiral I had been sliding down for months at that time. He made me realize that music is still my medicine, but I need to be careful to not overdose. He helped me create a healthy balance between music and the rest of my life, and now, I love music more than ever before. Now that I have a more well-rounded life, I’ve been given more opportunities to perform with other amazing musicians, such as the LaPorte County Symphony Orchestra and the Valparaiso University Orchestra. I have been blessed with meeting so many amazing people in the business, and I look forward to making my own contributions to the world of music. I am certain that I want to be a band teacher and director and help other people the way my teacher helped me. I want to be a safe haven for future students who do not want to be at school. I want to spread my love for music to all who are willing to listen. My overall goal is to enhance the lives of my future students by being the best instructor I can possibly be. My classroom will be an ecosystem of ideas, improvisation, and echoing instrumentation that will be an outlet for emotions. It will be a home filled with love for music and each other. Music makes my life complete, and I will do everything I can to ensure it leaves a positive impact on the souls I reach.

From an outsider’s perspective, music appears to be the only thing that matters in my life. While music is a foundation in my personality, I do in fact have a life outside of a practice room. When I’m not playing bassoon, I enjoy writing poetry, binge-watching different television shows with my friends, and trying new cooking recipes for my family and friends. I love going on walks and bike rides, and I enjoy gardening with my dog. He always lies in the exact spot I need to dig, staring up at me with his innocent, huge green eyes. I love all of these little things in my life, for they make me the person I am today. As I continue on my musical journey, I know I need to hold onto the other aspects of my life and not forget their importance up against the importance of playing bassoon. When spectating an orchestra, it is very easy to simply listen to the music and not put any thought into the hours it took to prepare for the performance. It is even easier to not look for individual faces, and simpler still to not wonder about the life of a musician onstage. I have struggled with forgetting about my own life in the midst of rehearsing and repeating the same passage in my music until my fingers calloused over and my tongue bled. My mind is an orchestra, and in my symphonic life, I neglected to give my musicians a break. I became irritable, and unmotivated to work on anything besides my songs. My mind became consumed with scrambled notes and rhythms. I was no longer me; I was a shell who believed her only purpose was to play bassoon. However, my band director rediscovered a spark in me that had not been kindled since my sophomore year of high school. He helped me unbury the person I used to be and spoke me out of the spiral I had been sliding down for months at that time. He made me realize that music is still my medicine, but I need to be careful to not overdose. He helped me create a healthy balance between music and the rest of my life, and now, I love music more than ever before. Now that I have a more well-rounded life, I’ve been given more opportunities to perform with other amazing musicians, such as the LaPorte County Symphony Orchestra and the Valparaiso University Orchestra. I’ve been blessed with meeting so many amazing people in the business, and I look forward to making my own contributions to the world of music. I want to spread my love for music to any and all who are willing to listen. I am ready to start this new chapter of my life in college pursuing a music education and performance degree.

From an outsider’s perspective, music appears to be the only thing that matters in my life. While music is a foundation in my personality, I do in fact have a life outside of a practice room. When I’m not playing bassoon, I enjoy writing poetry, binge-watching different television shows with my friends, and trying new cooking recipes for my family and friends. I love going on walks and bike rides, and I enjoy gardening with my dog. He always lies in the exact spot I need to dig, staring up at me with his innocent, huge green eyes. I love all of these little things in my life, for they make me the person I am today. As I continue on my musical journey, I know I need to hold onto the other aspects of my life and not forget their importance up against the importance of playing bassoon. When spectating an orchestra, it is very easy to simply listen to the music and not put any thought into the hours it took to prepare for the performance. It is even easier to not look for individual faces, and simpler still to not wonder about the life of a musician onstage. I have struggled with forgetting about my own life in the midst of rehearsing and repeating the same passage in my music until my fingers calloused over and my tongue bled. My mind is an orchestra, and in my symphonic life, I neglected to give my musicians a break. I became irritable, and unmotivated to work on anything besides my songs. My mind became consumed with scrambled notes and rhythms. I was no longer me; I was a shell who believed her only purpose was to play bassoon. However, my band director rediscovered a spark in me that had not been kindled since my sophomore year of high school. He helped me unbury the person I used to be and spoke me out of the spiral I had been sliding down for months at that time. He made me realize that music is still my medicine, but I need to be careful to not overdose. He helped me create a healthy balance between music and the rest of my life, and now, I love music more than ever before. Now that I have a more well-rounded life, I’ve been given more opportunities to perform with other amazing musicians, such as the LaPorte County Symphony Orchestra and the Valparaiso University Orchestra. I’ve been blessed with meeting so many amazing people in the business, and I look forward to making my own contributions to the world of music. I’m certain that I want to be a band teacher and director and help other people the way my teacher helped me. I want to be a safe haven for future students who do not want to be at school. I want to spread my love for music to any and all who are willing to listen.

When spectating an orchestra, it is very easy to simply listen to the music and not put any thought into the hours it took to prepare for the performance. It is even easier to not look for individual faces, and simpler still to not wonder about the life of a musician onstage. I have struggled with forgetting about my own life in the midst of rehearsing and repeating the same passage in my music until my fingers calloused over and my tongue bled. My mind is an orchestra, and I neglected to give my musicians a break in my symphonic life. I became irritable and unmotivated to work on anything besides my songs. My mind became consumed with scrambled notes and rhythms. I was no longer me; instead, I was a lifeless shell who believed her only purpose was to play the bassoon. However, my band director rediscovered a spark in me that had not been kindled since my sophomore year of high school. He helped me unbury the person I used to be and spoke me out of the spiral I had been sliding down for months at that time. He made me realize that music is still my medicine, but I need to be careful not to overdose. He helped me create a healthy balance between music and the rest of my life, and now, I love music more than ever before. I expanded my horizons past music and rediscovered my love for going on walks and bike rides. I started gardening last year, and I cannot wait to get back outside and start planting vegetables and flowers next season. I spend more time with my friends instead of being holed away in a dark, musty practice room by my lonesome. Now that I have a more well-rounded life, I can bear the mental load of performing in even more ensembles than I ever had before. Some of these wonderful opportunities include playing as a Student Apprentice in the LaPorte County Symphony Orchestra and as a guest for the Valparaiso University Orchestra as a senior in high school. I have been picking up gigs left and right, further fueling my passion for the art. In fact, I am due to perform in the pit for the upcoming Valparaiso University musical. I have been blessed with meeting so many amazing people in the business, and I look forward to making my own contributions to the world of music. My passion for music lies in the fact that it truly saved my life, and I want to make my dreams of saving the lives of other people come true. I am certain that I want to be a band teacher and director and help other people the way my teacher helped me. I want to be a safe haven for future students who do not want to be at school. I want to spread my love for music to any and all who are willing to listen.

My musical background is quite extensive, as I have performed in many different advanced ensembles. I have been the principal bassoonist for all four years of high school. Likewise, I have been a trombonist in the school's jazz band and pep band for four years, and in the marching band for two years. In my third year, I switched to baritone. Outside of school, I performed as the principal bassoonist in the Indiana Junior All State Honor Band during my freshman year and performed as the assistant principal bassoonist in the All State Honor Band during my junior year. In addition, I act as the assistant principal bassoonist in the Valparaiso University Orchestra and a Bassoon Student Apprentice in the LaPorte County Symphony Orchestra. I want to further pursue my career in music by going to college for a music education degree and becoming a band director. My reasoning behind this is I want my future classroom to be a safe space for struggling students, as my current band director has done for his classroom. The band room at my school is an oasis of sorts, protecting the students inside from the stress of the rest of their days in the general populous of the school. Currently, due to my current education restrictions, I unfortunately do not have a teaching license. However, I give back to my community in other ways, both with music and not. I am an active member of the National Honors Society, a service-based organization that revolves around the school and community. The amount of smiles I have seen on many different peoples' faces from what I could do for them is reward enough; I do not need monetary compensation. Musically, I have served my school by volunteering for a "city-wide yard sale", where my school's music department collected donations and hosted a sale on our parking lot to raise money for students who could not afford to participate in our marching band. After a long day of making sales and panhandling on the streets, all of the volunteers raised over two thousand dollars, enough money for over ten students to perform in our marching band the following season. Even as a high schooler, I know I have done everything I can to make the world around me a better place through my community service. I enjoy seeing the smiles on the faces of people I help and hearing them thank me for my assistance. It is just a fundamental part of who I am. I love making people happy, and I want to keep doing that as a music teacher.

From an outsider’s perspective, music appears to be the only thing that matters in my life. While music is a foundation in my personality, I do in fact have a life outside of a practice room. When I’m not playing bassoon, I enjoy writing poetry, binge-watching different television shows with my friends, and trying new cooking recipes for my family and friends. I love going on walks and bike rides, and I enjoy gardening with my dog. He always lies in the exact spot I need to dig, staring up at me with his innocent, huge green eyes. I love all of these little things in my life, for they make me the person I am today. As I continue on my musical journey, I know I need to hold onto the other aspects of my life and not forget their importance up against the importance of playing bassoon. When spectating an orchestra, it is very easy to simply listen to the music, and not put any thought into the hours it took to prepare for the performance. It is even easier to not look for individual faces, and simpler still to not wonder about the life of a musician onstage. I’ve struggled with forgetting about my own life in the midst of rehearsing and repeating the same passage in my music until my fingers calloused over and my tongue bled. My mind is an orchestra, and I neglected to give my musicians a break in my symphonic life. I became irritable, and unmotivated to work on anything besides my songs. My mind became consumed with scrambled notes and rhythms. I was no longer me; I was a shell who believed her only purpose was to play bassoon. However, my band director rediscovered a spark in me that had not been kindled since my sophomore year of high school. He helped me unbury the person I used to be and spoke me out of the spiral I had been sliding down for months at that time. He made me realize that music is still my medicine, but I need to be careful to not overdose. He helped me create a healthy balance between music and the rest of my life, and now, I love music more than ever before. Now that I have a more well-rounded life, I’ve been given more opportunities to perform with other amazing musicians, such as the LaPorte County Symphony Orchestra and the Valparaiso University Orchestra. I’ve been blessed with meeting so many amazing people in the business, and I look forward to making my contributions to the world of music. I’m certain that I want to be a band teacher and director and help other people the way my teacher helped me. I want to be a safe haven for future students who do not want to be at school. I want to spread my love for music to any and all who are willing to listen.