In the past, I have struggled with finding the proper life balance. Between taking care of myself in the present, and taking care of myself in the future. I have a futuristic mindset, always looking ahead on what I am capable of achieving. When I was in the 6th grade I was thinking about what path I wanted to take in highschool, and by freshmen year I was already thinking about how to look good for college. There are so many benefits to being a forward thinker. I can invision my success, I can plan a path for myself, I can create a life which I want. However, the downfalls bare their disgusting heads, and more often than not, they bare them when everything is hit at me at once in the present. My plans and goals are often non-inclusive of my own health. I use to justify it by saying that I was "going through it now so that I can be better off later". It wasn't until I hit a mental and emotional wall that I realized the faulty logic of that ideology. I began to go through a very heavy time in my life, and instead of dealing with it head on I decided to focus on the things which were in my plan first, inevitably making my situation worse. The only point which allowed me to exit that difficult state was the moment of realization due to me watching another person dear to me go through something similar: my mother. My mother has some severe health issues and due to that she had started to struggle mentally. I realized that if I ever wanted to help her, I would have to help myself first. So, I started the journey to mental and physical wellness. I began to search what coping methods were good for me in the present, and the activities I could do in order to keep myself out of that negative head space. I started to take art seriously, started to write, read some books, and started to dance around my room to music. I am aware that this is not the most conventional way of maintaining physical health, however, this was one of the few activities which I could do for hours and still have fun. I have struggled with keeping a reasonable weight due to both stress and PCOS. On the contrary however I think that this just shows my determination to maintain physical health, and my motivation to improve upon my mental well-being. Both mental health and physical health are extremely important to me due to my history of them not being the strongest. It is rewarding to see my own improvement throughout the years, and I have learned that while it is a great strength to look to the future, it is also a great skill to manage yourself in the present.

Being a first-generation college student is like attempting to ride a bike for the first time without training wheels. It is grueling and frustrating at the worst of times, however it can also be one of the most rewarding processes you will ever have to go through. My Grandmother didn't pass the ninth grade, therefore my mother and her sisters were rightfully proud enough that they graduated high school. As for my older cousins, one went to the military, and the others had no interest. I am the first kid to get a straight A report card, and the first kid going through this journey. I can't describe how proud of myself I am for that. Getting to college has always been a dream of mine, and now that it is finally within reach, it means the world to me that I succeed. I have a cousin who's six months younger than I am, who I can already tell is going to bombard my phone with message after message on how to do things, what to do, and so forth. I can't wait to be a support system to her, so that she never has to go through the struggles that I have gone through trying to do this without knowledgable parental guidance. In order to get to this long term goal of going to college I knew from the beginning that I needed to stand out from the crowd to get chosen by the institutions I desired. The first part of standing out was my academic prowess, however come Freshman year I had a realization that extracurriculars were just as important if not more. Thankfully as a result of my teachers appreciation for my determination I was nominated for multiple clubs such as GSA, LOOP, and World of Difference. GSA or Gender Sexuality Alliance was the first club that I had ever joined. At the time of my joining which was in 2020, my Freshman year of highschool, the club was a great informational safe space run by one of the best teachers I had. It was here where I started to discover my own sexuality and met other classmates who were in the same community. I learned about all spectrums of gender identity and diversity in that club, and it led me on a path of appreciating social justice. Sadly the club fell apart after my teacher left, therefore I was only truly in it for about a year or so. The GSA was a building block for my entrance to World of Difference, a club which was also all about educating the younger grades about discrimination and social justice. We were grouped together in a way to try and introduce us to new people within the club, and then each group was to make an educational plan for the week of classes. In this club I learned that I loved to talk about subjects I was passionate, and that I could be confident in front of others so long as I focused on what I was doing rather than the audience (I use to have anxiety over presenting). These clubs have shaped me into a more confident person, and have given me the opportunity to be an advocate for the messages I have grown to love. They gave me a safe space to grow into a person of justice. I definitely would not be the person I am today if it weren't for these clubs, and I definitely would not have the same leg up that I do on the competition for getting into college.

Passion comes from the soul, and one creative pastime I poor my soul into is my writing. Though I am a frequent jumper from storyline to storyline, the only reason I do so is because there are too many ideas swimming in the sea of my brain. I love creating unique and beautiful characters that showcase diversity and individuality. However, I often focus even more on how the characters interact with each other and their environment. In the past I have played around with questions of morality and have showcased mental health issues in many of the plots I have conjured. I love making people think about how they would react to a situation my characters are placed in, as well as causing the realization that their reaction may not align with conventional expectations. Therefore the reason why my writing could make the world a better place is because of the voice I give to many unspoken mental health disorders. Additionally I create many unique and relatable characters alongside moral questioning plots. As a result people have the opportunity to reflect and think about these questions, while also giving them something to relate to, which can make a large impact on the world depending on where my writing reaches. As a writer, if I had an extra 24-hours in the day the first thing I would do is visit as many locations as possible. Description is a writer's greatest tool, so being able to feel the sensations you later write about enhances your work, and allows the reader to come with you to that place. I would also take note of the people I see around me on my journey through the different sights. I find diversity beautiful and add it wherever I am able to in my works. Post sight seeing in these hours I would create a vision board. My greatest weakness is pairing down my ideas to form a coherent fluid story that is digestible to people other than myself. I find that throughout the average day there is never enough time for the organization my writing would desperately benefit from. Therefore during this precious time I would make a board of all of my ideas so that I could visually see them. Then I would look for overlap and similarity to refine those close together into a singular plot. The final thing that I would accomplish in this extra 24 hour period would be to write of course! With school and work alongside applying to college it feels like eons since I was last able to sit down and write. As it is one of my passions I would take any time given to me to be able to create or add to a story in order to take time for myself and relax. While writing during my extra day, I would take my computer to my office. Though I'm sure people would say an office stunts creativity, mine builds creativity. I write in front of a large window, which has two Sumac bushes covering about 70% of the view. However, I never cared as the red light that came into the room made it all that much better. There is also a TV which I like to play music as it helps put me into a creative state. There will always be stories I wish to write, new story ideas, and a passion for putting my ideas into the world. Hopefully someday I will be able to finish one, and maybe even have it on the shelves where I work; I work at the library.