No matter how much you know someone, nothing could ever prepare you fo the news that they are no longer in your life. That feeling of shock and utter helplessness you feel when you find out is unexplainable. My cousin Lizette Reyna was taken from my life far to early by her own hands. She was dealing with issues that were unbeknownst to me as she kept her inner demons to herself. She made me realize that keeping my own demons to myself is not the healthy way out. While my dear cousin did not go to seek help, I decided to take that step forward. My own journey through discovering how to handle and get through my own mental health issues was a tough one. Mexican culture is not one to encourage people to seek outside help for things that cannot be seen. Even stepping foot into a therapist's office was a difficult thing for me to do. Telling my mother that I was seeking help ouside of the family was also difficult to do since I was afraid of being srutinized by her. My family accepted that I needed help for problems that not even I fully understood that I had. We had seen how it had affected Lizette and how much sorrow she carried around with her. Her journey with mental health ended in pain and tears. I did not want mine to end the same way. I refuse to have my mother cry over me, and I refuse to let my challenges get in the way of my dreams to become a forensic anthropologist.

Mental health is a conversation that people don't tend to speak up on when it comes to "college life." Personally, my university, Texas State University, has numerous resources that are meant to help students who are struggling. I went through some bad times my freshman year, I lost friends and gained some, but I was also told that at the ripe age of 18, I was meant to learn how to start "adulting." I also saw how different college was from the life I had become used to. The transition from high school to college had me excited yet terrified of how I was supposed to handle my life. It felt like I was supposed to do everything on my own since my parents were so far away. I made friendships that I held dear and as quick as I made them, I lost them. You slowly come to realize that no one prepares you for how emotionally drained you get in your first year of college. No one was there to explain to me that I would have to wait until the holidays to properly be with my family. No one was there to tell me that I would be changing and going through emotions I didn't want to feel. All of these draining and insomnia-inducing emotions became too much for me until I came across a pamphlet at my student center. This one pamphlet was the reason that I made it through my freshman year with only bumps and bruises. It was after I studied the pamphlet that I decided to do the one thing I was told to not do, go to therapy. Being a Latina woman comes with the stigma of therapy being bad, and that your parents should know every last detail of your troubles and life. Therapy helped me see that I needed outside help and that I was not alone. Therapy was not the only thing that I did to help with my mental health. I realized that music and art therapy was something that I loved doing to destress from school. They were my escape from all of the assignments, reviews, and exams that were bombarded onto me as a student. I have also begun to dedicate certain days of my week to doing homework while other days are for destressing by any means that I deem fit without the usage of alcohol. I have also made a very clear separation between me at school and me at home. Living in dorms blurs the boundary that one needs to differentiate between being a student and being an 18-year-old in college. These methods helped immensely when it came to my mental health. I was in a not-so-good place my freshman year, but with the help of therapy and music, I have come to see that I am not alone in the world. I have become better at properly feeling my emotions and expressing myself with these emotions. College is difficult, you are forced into a world that is completely different from what you're used to and it makes you feel isolated from those you love. You just have to find the right method that makes you feel more at home and safe in your current situation.

If you were to ask anyone from Mission Regional Medical Center about Mirthala Ramirez, they would tell you hiw amazing she is at her job as an emergency room nurse. My mother is a woman who I have looked up to since childhood. She has the ability to heal people even when they don't deserve it. There are times when we would walk onto our local grocery store and she would be recognized by one of her previous patients. She has been idolized by many, including doctors and nurses, and has been called an angel by many of her patients. Mirthala Ramirez is a nurse who takes charge and will give everything she has to each patient that walks through the hospital doors in order to tell their loved ones that she did everything in her power to help them. She is my version of Wonder Woman who I wouldn't trade for the world. This scholarship will allow for me to pay off the only student loan that I qualified for. I was given a scholarship for $4,000, however my student loan is nearly $25,000. This scholarship would allow me to pay for college out of pocket instead of relying on a loan. I am intent on pursuing a bachelor's in Anthropology at Texas State University while also making it onto the dean's list. I am then going to pursue a masters in Forensic Psychology while working under an individual who can teach me the world of forensic anthropology. I have a dream goal of becoming a forensic anthropologist with a PHD as well as two masters degrees. I have big dreams that I want to accomplish, but I cannot proceed to do so unless I accomplish the first step. This scholarship will allow for me to begin my journey on becoming a forensic anthropologist. My mother is main inspiration for she went to college and became an ER nurse all whole having two children and four years later a third. She accomplished so much even when her odds were low, so I hope to accomplish my goals as she did and make her proud. I am an 18 year old young woman who grew up in a latin household while being bisexual. I have many odds stacked against me as some if my family is conservative, but I am still willing to fight for the dream that I consider my "American dream."

I plan to become a forensic anthropologist, a person who can give closure to those who have lost loved ones, a woman who takes risks in a field where supposedly only science matters. I want to get my bachelor's first at Texas State University, then I'll go for my masters while working, and I want to try to pursue my doctorates. I am from a family that was built on ambition and taking what they want even if it takes decades to get. I hope to gain enough money so that I can pay off my student loans as well as pay off my tuition and housing costs. At the moment, every step I take towards starting college is met with an obstacle of money. Right now, all I know is that I'm going to become a forensic anthropologist, even if it means I'll go into immense debt while doing so. This is my dream, and I will do anything to make that dream my new reality.