My mother's entire side of the family is Ukrainian. My father's entire side of the family is Tatarian, who grew up in Russia. The war between Russia and Ukraine has especially affected me because I consider myself to be of both ethnicities. I am the first person in my entire family born in America, however, my family is deeply rooted in Ukrainian and Russian traditions and culture. I have loved being both Ukrainian and Russian. My family does not speak English so I had to learn both languages. When I went to college, I took a Russian class so I could learn to read and write as well. My family enjoys going to Paska and cooking traditional foods. My culture has been a big part of my life. Up until now, being Ukrainian and Russian was never that interesting to other people because they were small countries that no one really cared to learn about. When news of the war broke out, all heads immediately turned toward me. Suddenly everyone started wondering about my opinion or if something they say will set me off. I, myself was confused because the war broke out when I was just eighteen. How can an eighteen-year-old have an opinion on a war? The only thing I could understand was how scared my family was. Only my grandparents and my immediate family is in America. We still have so many of my aunts, uncles, and cousins over in Ukraine. My family has a lot of pride in their culture and it was heartbreaking to see my grandparents so scared for their country. I did not realize how big of an influence the war would have on my personal life as well. When I went back to class during my senior year, I had many Ukrainian friends that I had known for years. When the war broke out, many of them stopped talking to me and even would threaten me because I was half-Russian. It really affected me when I started my first year of college. There was a huge European population at my school and I was so excited to find people who understood me. Sadly, I was cast out of a lot of events and activities. Everywhere I turned, someone was talking about the war and how awful Russia was. I started spiraling into an identity crisis. I loved being Russian but I also loved being Ukrainian and I did not understand how I was supposed to choose. Not only was I finding it hard to even have an opinion, but no one seemed to want to hear it either. Many rallies were gathered at my school and wanted Ukrainian students to talk about how they felt. I was never invited and I am not sure if it is because I am Russian, or maybe because I did not live in Ukraine so I "can not really feel the effects" of the war. All I knew was that my family was scared. My mother crying because her nephew was sent to fight and she can not call him. My aunt escaped to Poland in order to catch a flight to the U.S. So maybe I can not feel the effects of the war to a certain extent, but there is no doubt that this has affected me and my family deeply. I am pursuing a STEM degree because ever since my first engineering class in my freshman year of high school, I have fallen in love with STEM and it is the only career I can see for myself long-term.