“Stress is not what happens to us. It's our response TO what happens. And RESPONSE is something we can choose.” I have always found counseling to be a helpful resource to help clear my mind. I attend every week and try to share with others how beneficial it is for your mental health and helping during stressful times. Music, praying, and going to the gym also are huge parts of my days to help minimize stress and to ground myself through stressful and hard situations.

This scholarship application really pulls at the heart strings, so I firstly wanted to thank you for supporting others who have lost a sibling to suicide. On February 14, 2016, my best-friend, my other half, my world, my brother... completed suicide. He had battled depression, anxiety, severe bullying, and PTSD for a couple years. Finding him in his darkest hours was an indescribable pain. He was kind, fun, and everyone loved him in the community. I have persevered through the loss of my brother Deon by sharing our story. I have spoken at a few Out of the Darkness events and have been featured on a couple documentaries to talk about the uncomfortable topic of this suicide epidemic. This is one example: A Rural Epidemic: Teen Suicides in Graying America, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEBaFBzOcu8 I have also been able to use my schooling as a way to preserver. I am the first one to attend school past middle school and I am currently in a graduate program to obtain my mater's in clinical rehabilitation and mental health counseling where I want to one day open my own private practice to help individuals with mental health, suicidal ideation, trauma, etc. After loosing my brother, three months later I lost my father to mental health and alcoholism. I have lived everyday since with the intent of helping just one other person on my journey through their mental health. I want to normalize asking for help, going to counseling, seeing a doctor/and or psychiatrist, and even having a safety plan for yourself and/or someone else. I am currently a QPR instructor. Similarly, QPR is an an emergency mental health intervention for suicidal persons and stands for Question, Persuade and Refer. The intent is also to identify and interrupt the crisis and direct that person to the proper care. I am currently working towards a Mental Health First Aid Instructor certification to teach others of mental health and substance-use issues. I am also on the Critical Incident Response team for First-Responders in the surrounding area of Billings, Montana. It is statistically shown that if there is a debriefing after a horrific incident, then the percentages of having post traumatic stress disorder is low. Because of OUR story, I am dedicating my entire education, career, and If I were to give advice to someone who is currently experiencing the loss of a sibling due to suicide, I would share this; Your heart is going to feel heavy and life might feel unbearable somedays. Loosing them may never make since, but it is important to care for yourself. Ask for help, give yourself grace, and love a little extra.

Talk about it. Normalize it. Share our story. It seems like such a practical solution, but most are hesitant to do it. I grew up in Nevada and then moved to Montana in middle school. It was a culture shock when it came to mental health because there is the cowboy up mentality where "you pick yourself up by the boot straps." They don't talk about mental health. I have had the opportunity to be able to share my struggle with grief, PTSD, , depression, and anxiety to many people and it is uncomfortable, but the more I talk, the more I see other's sharing their stories. We help people by helping others first. We can't poor from an empty cup. This passion of mine and others are going to start changing the world and it is such a beautiful thing to be apart of.

Michelle Williams once said that grief is like a moving river, it's always changing. I would say in some ways it just gets worse. It's just that the more time that passes, the more you miss someone. My mother lost custody of my older brother and I when we were four and five. We went to live with my father and his new wife, our step-mom, where we built a new life together. Years later, they divorced and it was my father, brother, and I against the world. My father and brother become the only people that I Ioved and trusted. In 2016, I lost both of them within three months of each other. Between those three months, I lost my aunt to cancer. Because no one wanted me, they didn't want to help me through the grief, depression, and PTSD, I soon become emancipated. This was such a hard journey because not only was I grieving, I was alone. My father's girlfriend stole everything we had as a family including our memories and money. The loss of many people in my life including my father and brother has caused me to focus on breaking generational curses, helping others through their own trauma, and I love a lot harder. I want to fight to achieve more than they ever thought I could. I have accomplished so much without them, but I am who I am because of them.

On February 14, 2016 I shoved through my older brother's door to get to him. It was the darkest day of his life, yet the last. Loosing him will forever be the hardest thing I will ever go through. We struggled navigating the bullying, PTSD, panic attacks, depression, and more. It was a never ending battle. My father shortly passed three months later from alcoholism, depression, PTSD, and a broken heart. This is just a short glimpse of my story and how my experience with mental health has influenced the way I live. I belief that not being okay is okay. I belief that if we don't talk about those hard times, then we are creating a toxic stigma that has been controlling society. There should no longer be the cowboy mentality of "pick yourself up by the boot straps." My relationships have been impacted by my stand points. I have challenged people to take mental health seriously, to ask for help, and to normalize counseling. Due to my past and my eagerness to help others, I am currently in my master's program at MSU Billings to obtain a degree in clinical rehabilitation and mental health counseling. I am QPR certified and teach others intervention techniques to use with those who are struggling and/or having suicidal ideation. I am a Mental Health First aid responder and am working on becoming a certified instructor to teach others how to help others in a mental health crisis. I am also in the works of brining Safe Zone training to MSU Billings to promote a safe and welcoming environment for those of the LGBTQ+ community and help them with societal shifts, stigmas, bullying, mental health, etc. I am currently on the Critical Incident Response team to provide debriefing to first responders after traumatic events to limit the chance of them receiving PTSD from an event. I have been an advocate for mental health. This YouTube story showcases that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEBaFBzOcu8 People are not their illness. They are beautiful and unique and I hope to help just one person on their journey.

I have learned in life that you can't let your past define your future. I have done just that and a lot of it has come with becoming an active leader in my community. These are the following leadership opportunities I have had and achieved. -QPR Gatekeeper (2020-present) -Certified QPR Instructor (2022-present) -Certified Mental Health First Aid Responder (2022-present) -Outstanding Senior in Human Services (2021) -Cum Laude Honors (2021) -Montana State University Billings Dean’s List (2017-2021) -25 Under 25 Forward Montana Foundation recipient (2020) -Newman Civic Fellowship (2020) -Intern of the Year for the College of Allied Health Professions (2020) -Peer Educator of the Year (2020) -Pure Gold presented by President Waded Cruzado (2020) -Honor Roll (2012-present), End GPA 4.0 TRIO Advocate Advisor- help guide students to incorporate recruitment and retention of students, host fun and engaging events, and advocate for those who are first-generation, low-income, and/or have documented disabilities Student Health Ambassador- help promote habits and tips during Covid-19, create videos to direct student’s, attended weekly meetings to discuss quarantined and impacted students Newman Civic Fellow- attend meetings virtually to network and engage in student leadership, maintain partnership between community and MSUB campus President of TRIO Advocates- organized meetings, communicated with other members, created projects to help college students become active on campus such as Angel Tree District Two President of FCCLA President of Livingston Family, Career and Community Leaders of America (FCCLA)- led weekly meetings in a chapter of FCCLA of eight members I am currently working on bringing Safe Zone training to the MSU Billings campus to bring a safe and welcoming environment for those of the LGBTQ+ community. I am also attending a Mental Health First Aid training as an educator to teach those on campus how to be aware of mental health and those who struggle with disabilities. Leadership is the ability to help others. It shows that they are capable, welcomed, and important. Thank you for taking the time to look over my work and considering my future.