"Don't worry, everything will be okay," were the words ushered in by a waitress in an Italian restaurant. I am a 21-year-old female with a life-threatening milk allergy. I have struggled with anxiety throughout my life and know the repercussions of false reassurance, inspiring me to become a mental health advocate for life. Throughout my freshman year at college, I struggled with severe anxiety and panic which lead me to emergency room the first week of school. I soon realized I had severe health anxiety and being a new nursing student during COVID times made it worse. Despite struggling for months, I still managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA that semester. However, I realized that my mental health was far more important than any grade point average and I knew I had to prioritize my health to avoid future repercussions. Unfortunately, there is a stigma surrounding the topics of mental health: anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia, OCD, and a misunderstanding of how mental illnesses can affect a person. To educate others about mental health, I joined Rachel's Challenge in middle school, an anti-bullying organization focusing on eliminating school violence related to the Columbine school shooting after a school assembly. I also witnessed presentations on the cycle of domestic abuse and talked to classmates. The stigma has worsened since the outbreak of COVID-19 among young adults (18–25). According to SAMSA, in 2020, 12.2 million adults aged 18 or older reported having serious thoughts of suicide, and 1.2 million adults attempted suicide during the past year (NIMH). Making college students one of the primary groups affected. As a nursing student and someone who suffers from severe health anxiety, I am an active mental health advocate. I joined an anti-human trafficking organization called Dressember in 2019 and served as the Social Media Manager in 2020. Last year, my team raised over $17,000 to provide trauma-informed care for human trafficking survivors. Over the course of my involvement, our team has raised over $30,000. I am the women's soccer captain and have also seen the stories of young athletes taking their own lives. I have shared these stories and advocated for mental health with the girls. Recently, the captains and I are reading "What Drives Winning." Brett Ledbetter has talked about his experience of projecting anxiety on his team and talks about it openly. Having hard conversations is key to promoting understanding and providing transparency. In addition to soccer, I am a nursing student at Olivet Nazarene University. I have completed 48 hours of mental health clinical at Riverside and provided interventions for three patients. The first patient was a misdiagnosed homeless child. The nurse asked me to document the signs and symptoms of the patient that we should later chart to share with the medical doctor. Another patient in my medical-surgical clinical, an elderly female, shared a story of abuse and neglect. I have gained the trust of patients and advocated for the oppressed. The last patient was a man in hospice experiencing neglect. After showering him, I provided guided imagery to relax him and ease his anxiety. “It is okay to worry, your emotions are real and valid.” My goal is to become a psychiatric nurse practitioner to continue my involvement in breaking the stigma. Instead of responding with false reassurance, I want to challenge my future co-workers to show empathy for those struggling. This scholarship would help me continue to advocate for my future patients and assist in breaking the stigma and fear related to mental health in the nursing field. Thank you for the opportunity to share my story.

"Don't worry, everything will be okay," were the words ushered in by a waitress in an Italian restaurant. I am a 21-year-old female with a life-threatening milk allergy. I have struggled with anxiety throughout my life and know the repercussions of false reassurance, inspiring me to become a mental health advocate for life. Unfortunately, there is a stigma surrounding the topics of mental health: anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia, OCD, and a misunderstanding of how mental illnesses can affect a person. To educate others about mental health, I joined Rachel's Challenge in middle school, an anti-bullying organization focusing on eliminating school violence related to the Columbine school shooting after a school assembly. I also witnessed presentations on the cycle of domestic abuse and talked to classmates. The stigma has worsened since the outbreak of COVID-19 among young adults (18–25). According to SAMSA, in 2020, 12.2 million adults aged 18 or older reported having serious thoughts of suicide, and 1.2 million adults attempted suicide during the past year (NIMH). As a nursing student and someone who suffers from severe health anxiety, I am an active mental health advocate. I joined an anti-human trafficking organization called Dressember in 2019 and served as the Social Media Manager in 2020. Last year, my team raised over $17,000 to provide trauma-informed care for human trafficking survivors. I am the women's soccer captain and have also seen the stories of young athletes taking their own lives. I have shared these stories and advocated for mental health with the girls. Recently, the captains and I are reading "What Drives Winning." Brett Ledbetter has talked about his experience of projecting anxiety on his team and talks about it openly. Having hard conversations is key to promoting understanding and providing transparency. In addition to soccer, I am a nursing student at Olivet Nazarene University. I have completed 48 hours of mental health clinical at Riverside and provided interventions for three patients. The first patient was a misdiagnosed homeless child. The nurse asked me to document the signs and symptoms of the patient that we should later chart to share with the medical doctor. Another patient in my medical-surgical clinical, an elderly female, shared a story of abuse and neglect. I have gained the trust of patients and advocated for the oppressed. The last patient was a man in hospice experiencing neglect. After showering him, I provided guided imagery to relax him and ease his anxiety. My goal is to become a psychiatric nurse practitioner to continue my involvement in breaking the stigma. This scholarship would help me continue to advocate for my future patients and assist in breaking the stigma and fear related to mental health in the nursing field.

Growing up, I thought anxiety was only something that could haunt your mind. But, this past fall semester as a college nursing student, I realized I could never be more wrong. Anxiety and depression have plagued my mind, body, and spirit and the lives of my boyfriend, aunt, grandma, and numerous friends. My grandma grew up having severe panic attacks. She would wake up early in the morning and pray for hours for them to pass. This spring, I visited the ER the first week returning from winter break due to heart palpitations. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life, and I was left with no more clarity when I returned to my apartment alone, afraid of the next panic attack. Although, I had no idea that I had them for months. I struggled to get classwork done, and I lived in fear of when the next attack would happen. I quickly learned that my boyfriend had been suffering from anxiety since the fall of 2019, before we began dating. He saw numerous doctors, school nurses, athletic trainers worried about a heart condition. He was born with pectus excavatum (funnel chest) and told that he might not play competitive sports at a young age. There were numerous scary incidents where I heard of close friends who were contemplating suicide. Luckily, in both instances, my best friend and I could help prevent the situations from escalating. My old neighbor's dad passed away from suicide when I was young, and I remember the conversation with my mom clearly. She asked my sisters, brother, and me to come into the living room because she had something important to tell us, and I remember her saying, "there is some bad news I have to share with you all." I got the worst feeling in my chest when she broke that one of my best friends no longer had a dad. My friend at college suffers from anxiety too. And three more girls on my soccer team, and it just began to feel so prevalent in my life--how many people were suffering from anxiety and depression. And especially now, since the pandemic, the numbers have skyrocketed. I no longer want to hear those stories like the one my mom broke to me in the living room or feel that stress when you are unsure if someone you know will be there the next time you see them. As a future nurse, I want to advocate for mental health in the health care setting and specialize in the mental health realm with my aspiration of becoming a nurse practitioner. My boyfriend and I's relationship has only strengthened when we openly share about the influence of anxiety on the lives of each other and others. And his passion for Christ and love and understanding of tense situations are remarkable. For example, he told me one of the kids he coaches has severe social anxiety and almost passed out, going on the soccer field. And he told the boy's parents how he suffered from anxiety also and understood the situation completely. I feel that I have a deeper connection with my grandma. I believe our panic attacks are God's way of shaping us to be empathetic warriors--advocating for kindness and a caring attitude in all of our interactions. My dad volunteers for a suicide prevention website and personal chats with people in need. During the pandemic, I would watch how he would respond to others to help bring them some peace and clarity. And I have never felt more motivated to create a support group to bring together those struggling with mental health. In December, I was a part of Dressember, an organization aimed at ending human trafficking, and a large part of the recovery process is aiding trauma victims with therapy and mental health recovery: the homeless population, those suffering from mental health problems, LGBTQ, the Black community, and more. My team collectively raised almost $8,000. My goal is to raise even more money next year to help those so deeply in need. I want to interact with others daily with kindness, compassion, understanding, humility, thanksgiving, service, charity, and benevolence. Lastly, it is crucial to advocate for self-love and reach out to those close to you and let them know you love them because you never know what day could be your last. Thank you for the time to share my story, Katie Knutte

“He is the light, light, light, light of the world!” The voices of my younger sisters echo off the walls in the bathroom. It is my favorite time of year again: Vacation Bible School at the Methodist church near my house. I finally get summer days of worship music and excited smiles. Listening to kids sing their hearts out; it’s no secret that music makes my world go round. My friends' joke to me about how I know every song lyric. My mom has a love-hate relationship with my singing - depending on when and where I do it. (In my room at 2 am... probably not the best idea.) She told me people who sing tend to live more happy, full lives. I think that’s what God would want for us, so why not boost your serotonin levels with some singing? Or dancing? An interactive component to bring smiles to kids and help them remember what is important - that we need Jesus and He needs us. Always learning as a nursing student, Bible camp also helped me realize my passion for medicine. “Why does her eye look drooped?” “Does she always sit at recess?” “She is tiny.” A girl that changed my life forever, Ellie. Just 4 years old with a brain tumor the size of a melon. When I found out the little girl from Bible camp was sick, I wanted to help. I observed her from far away and the best days of camp were when I would catch Ellie’s smiles from a distance. Sadly, her smile did not last forever. My high school senior year was Ellie-less and this summer is also Bible camp-less. Covid has also closed Girl Scout Camp, another camp I have enjoyed singing. The rambunctious kids keep me on my feet and warm my heart with their energy. It is a priority to sing every day and each unit performs a group dance to the rest of the scouts, mid-camp. Saying the Adam’s Family prayer before meals is another nostalgic memory of mine. Without these camps, it is hard for me to find joy through singing. There is no one around me to enjoy the moment with. Recently working at a nursing home has helped me realize that the happiness of others brings me joy. Especially the happiness of people who are very sick, but smiling through it. I want to be the type of person who can find positivity in any situation. I hope as a future nurse and nurse practitioner to learn as much as I can about living a joyous life and hopefully bring many more Ellie and little Girl Scout smiles to this world. I am excited to give back to the community as a future NP, as this is a job that will be very necessary due to the aging population, and volunteer at local camps and organizations in my free time. Getting the “Follow Your Heart” scholarship would get me one step closer to my dream. Thank you for the opportunity to share my story.

Mother Teresa said, “It’s not about how much you do, but how much love you put into what you do that counts.” When I was little I got excited to go to the doctor. I loved to read the signs on the walls and wondered what all of the numbers on the machines meant. With a severe food allergy and asthma, it was normal for me to feel different than others. I never wanted to be a burden on my family so I worked hard in school, soccer, and extracurriculars to overcome the frustration I felt with the extra medical costs of doctor and ER visits. There was a time when I was not able to go to the ER on vacation and I remember throwing up constantly. The nearest hospital was an hour away, it was the first of many scary experiences in my life. I was exhausted and before I fell asleep I prayed to God that I would wake up. That day changed my perspective on life. I made a promise to myself that I would dedicate my life to serving others. At the time, I did not yet know that medicine was my calling. My aunt was very sick with lupus when she was pregnant with my cousin. My family visited her and I brought a toy medical kit to do a “check-up”. My cousin made the brave decision to donate her kidney to my aunt when they found out they had matching blood types. Through her extensive medical visits and raising my cousin as a single mother, life has been full of challenges for my aunt but she has never let anything get to her—not even an autoimmune disease. When I hear stories of people overcoming illness, my troubles seem small in comparison. This past year I struggled with anxiety accompanied by panic attacks and silent acid reflux. I visited many clinics, spoke to friends and family, and spent extensive hours researching diseases to no avail. Everyone kept telling me it was just anxiety—but my gut told me there was more. After I visited with an ENT specialist, he told me that I had GERD. It was all new to me, I knew I had difficulty breathing from asthma but acid reflux was a new world I had not explored yet. My anxiety had eased knowing I wasn’t in immediate danger, but I wondered why I had to go through so much pain for months. I asked God what my purpose was and what it all meant. Throughout the pandemic, I have felt helpless as a nursing student unable to help people in need. When a family friend texted me saying they needed help at a local nursing home near my house, I knew that God had placed me right where I needed to be. There have been some days where I have felt alone and nervous in a new place, and I will never be a perfect nurse, but I have only felt more excited to become a CNA and further my education as a Nurse Practitioner to give back to those that have helped me. Everyone deserves a life full of happiness, love, and health. I want to stop diseases in their tracks and use love to override anxiety. I want to transform the medical field to include care that is aimed at total well-being—physical, social, and mental. As Mother Teresa said, “We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love.”

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have.” To describe 2020 in one word I would choose volatile. From hearing that I would have an extended Spring break to finding out the rest of my first Sprint semester at college would be moved online, 2020 was full of surprises, sorrows, and sweet new beginnings. I learned that it is important to love fully and to seek God in every aspect. I also learned that just because something is hard does not mean it is bad. I remember juggling a toilet paper roll in my basement, missing my soccer team, and life with my nursing friends. Until I discovered I could stay connected to my friends through body combat and I started an Instagram account to share my fitness journey with my friends. I was also able to spend more time with my family as my sisters were at home too. We would rollerblade, do our homework outside on blankets, and look up the latest “Quarantine DIYs”. We had a pretty good run at whipped coffee. I started to paint a dollhouse my grandma and grandpa gave to us to donate it to a charity and learned how to crochet and play the ukulele. And the biggest blessing of all was developing a relationship with my future boyfriend. We were able to talk about school, get to know our families, and go on many adventures. I felt that even though I was disappointed the year was not going the way I initially planned, God sent me a future partner to help me through my anxiety, worry, and unresolved trauma. This year has taught me how strong I am, how important family is, and to give back the love you receive because there is no greater happiness than appreciating the little moments that change our lives forever.

When I think of one person who I want in my life forever, my dad is always the first person who comes to mind. The second oldest of four brothers, he has always had to be the hard-working role model for the younger ones. My dad will never admit how much work he does. As a kid, the best part of my day was when my dad would come home and I would run to hug him. He would walk in with his long black coat and leather bag and give me a hug and big smile, “Hey!” He would say and engulf me in a warm embrace. He would work from nine until seven almost every day during the week and on holidays and vacations. I remember sitting in his lap while he typed away on his computer, discussing numbers and running his hands through his hair as an overworked CPA. My dad never wanted me to struggle for money so he worked hard to provide for my family. Not only did he teach me the importance of hard work but he also taught me the importance of dedication and selflessness. My dad was an excellent soccer player growing up. He always told me that at practice I should jog in between drills, help pick-up, and be the first person to head back after a water drill because coaches notice players that work hard and are dedicated to learning. When my dad was not working or coming to my soccer games, he would help us clean around the house or bring food to the food pantry or church, or look for new ways to be environmentally friendly. He always says, “turn off the lights! You are killing the polar bears!” My dad had one time where he had to choose between going to a national competition for accountancy or playing soccer in Australia. He chose the latter. When my dad found out I wanted to get into an accelerated math class, he sat with me doing flashcards for hours. Another lesson my dad taught me was kindness. Last summer, my dad and I saw a car off the side of the road with two women and a flat tire. I knew we should help them and he agreed. They were so grateful for our help and said they would not have been able to get help because the lady’s husband was at work. Growing up around my caring and passionate father, I learned the mentality to never give up when it came to my goals. On the soccer field, I wanted to be the best player like my dad, despite my asthma. I saw my health concerns as minor setbacks. I could overcome anything if I set my mind to it, and this mentality has led me to overcome one of the most challenging seasons of my life. I have been suffering from severe anxiety, panic attacks, and acid reflux for about six months. If it was not for the resilient mindset my dad ingrained in me, I would have caved from all of the physical and mental pain I was facing. His value for hard work and his love for adventure has taught me to never shy away from any of my goals. He is one of the reasons why I decided to pursue a degree in nursing, and feel motivated to further my education as a nurse practitioner. His lessons have taught me that you can do anything when you put the work in. But always remember to keep family and God first. As a college athlete at a Christian university, with a high GPA and scoring the most goals on my team for this season, I have been surrounded by people that have helped me be successful. And I would not have been able to get there if it was not for my strong, smart, kind, hard-working and loving dad. One of my dad’s favorite ideas is the pay it forward concept. I remember how excited he was when he first found out about it. I told him it reminded me of Rachel’s Kindness, a campaign aimed at ending bullying by creating a chain reaction of kind events. And I believe that to be true in every aspect of life. When you are kind to someone else, making them feel good and want to reciprocate the act to another person. I want to live this way, by placing empathy at the forefront of my values. A girl in our community passed away from brain cancer about a year ago and a dad of girls I grew up playing soccer with recently passed away from a brain aneurysm. I remember the ache in my heart for those families. Kindness never goes out of style. Appreciate family and friends and tell them you love them at all times. My ultimate goal is to establish my clinical practice as a nurse practitioner and be able to take care of those that I love when they are sick. I want to be a part of professional nursing organizations involved with improving the treatment of cancer, asthma, allergies, heart/brain conditions, and more. I want to achieve something that has never been done before such as finding the cure to food allergies or discovering a new method to prevent high blood pressure in future research because I want to give back to all of the young boys and girls who are scared of their future and set them up for success. I was born with an anaphylactic dairy allergy and it is my goal for future generations to have a high quality of life, all because of my dad.

Growing up, I thought anxiety was only something that could haunt your mind. This past fall semester as a college nursing student, I found out I could never be more wrong. Anxiety and depression have plagued not only my mind, body, and spirit but also the lives of my boyfriend, aunt, grandma, and numerous of my friends growing up. My grandma grew up having severe panic attacks. She would wake up early in the morning and pray for hours for them to pass. This spring I visited the ER the first week returning from winter break due to heart palpitations. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life and I was left with no more clarity when I returned to my apartment afraid of the next panic attack. Although, I had no idea that I had been having them for months now at this time. I struggled to get classwork done and I lived in fear of when the next attack would happen. I quickly learned that my boyfriend had been suffering from anxiety since the fall of 2019 before we began dating. He saw numerous doctors, school nurses, athletic trainers, asking if he had a heart condition as he was born with pectus excavatum (funnel chest) and was told at a young age he might not be able to ever play in competitive sports. There were numerous scary incidents where I heard of close friends who were contemplating suicide and luckily in both instances my best friend and I was able to get help to avoid the situations from escalating. My old neighbor’s dad passed away from suicide when I was young and I remember the conversation with my mom clearly. She asked my sisters, brother, and me to come into the living room because she had something important to tell us and I remember her saying, “there is some bad news I have to share with you all”. I got the worst feeling in my chest when she broke that one of my best friends no longer had a dad. I also found out my friend at college suffers from anxiety as well recently when I shared with her about my panic attacks and anxiety troubles. And I realized three more girls on my soccer team, and it just began to feel so prevalent in my life--how many people were suffering from anxiety and depression. And especially now since the pandemic the numbers have skyrocketed. I no longer want to hear those stories like the one my mom broke to me in the living room or feel that stress when you are not sure if someone you know will be there the next time you see them. As a future nurse, I want to advocate for mental health in the health care setting and possibly specialize in the mental health realm with my aspiration of becoming a nurse practitioner. My boyfriend and I’s relationship has only strengthened when we openly share about the influence of anxiety on the lives of each other and others. And his passion for Christ and love and understanding of anxious situations is remarkable. He told me one of the kids he coaches has severe social anxiety, and almost passed out going on the soccer field. And he told the boy’s parents how he personally suffered from anxiety also and understood the situation completely. I feel that I have a deeper connection with my grandma and I believe our panic attacks are God’s way of shaping us to be empathetic warriors--advocating for kindness and a caring attitude in all of our interactions. My dad volunteers for a suicide prevention website and personal chats with people in need. During the pandemic, I would watch how he would respond to others to help bring them some peace and clarity. And I have never felt more motivated to create a support group to bring together those struggling with mental health right now. In December, I was a part of Dressember, an organization aimed at ending human trafficking and a large part of the recovery process is aiding trauma victims with therapy and mental health recovery--the homeless population, those suffering from mental health problems, LGBTQ, the Black community, and more. My team collectively raised almost $8,000. My goal is to raise even more money next year to help those so deeply in need. In middle school, we had an assembly about Rachel Scott, the first student killed in the Columbine High School shooting in 1999. Rachel always wanted to treat others kindly and her parents even forgave the shooter that killed her. Rachel’s last words to her parents were those of an angry tongue, despite her loving and caring nature. Her parents started an organization called Rachel’s challenged to combat bullying in public schools and encourages students to pledge to look for the best in others, dream big, choose positive influences, speak with kindness, and start their chain reaction. I was so inspired by Rachel’s story after getting involved in every challenge activity I could, that to this day, I hope to start a chain reaction of kindness at least once every day and to pay it forward to others by helping them out without asking for anything in return. Something that as a girl scout and through volunteering at a local church camp and with my soccer team has been ingrained into me. I want to interact with others daily with kindness, compassion, understanding, humility, thanksgiving, service, charity, and benevolence as Christ and Rachel did. The Golden Rule is a great set to follow- treat others as you want to be treated. Lastly, it is so important to advocate for self-love and to reach out to those that are close to you and let them know you love them because you never know what day could be your last.

Art can come in many different forms: quiet, loud, bright, dull, simple, unorthodox, conventional, whimsical. When I think about one of my favorite artists, René Magritte, I remember her ability to make viewers question their reality. Art is a tantalizing universe created in our minds to make sense of our everyday thoughts. To be an artist means to describe our feelings through creative expression. As a writer and poet, I have often wondered about my meaning in the universe. There have been times I have asked God, what do you want me to achieve in the lives of others? How can I help someone attain happiness? I have realized during the pandemic, the lack of human interaction has deprived us of this creative excitement we need. I had a conversation with some of my friends over our goals for future books we aspire to write before we were put on lockdown, and I felt this fervent desire to create a new world in my mind. When the world feels sad and empty, there is never a more important time to share positivity and hope. Through my Instagram poetry, I can share my desires for hope, ambition, wanderlust, wisdom, love, happiness, self-awareness, with the desire to bring joy and intimacy into the life of another person without worrying about ‘social distancing’. Something I want to be known for is how I make other people feel. It is not what clothes I wear or what language I speak or where I live, or what I believe, but I must use my writing to speak into the heart of someone else. Because poetry is meant for more than just self-expression—it brings the souls of people together in an unspoken manner. And when we bring together the creative minds of beautiful humans, we are shaping future empaths, thinkers, lovers, singers, painters, lawyers, politicians, doctors, mothers, fathers, teachers, believers, earth lovers, preachers, into a community of love and acceptance to go into the world with a positive mindset that with creative hope, anything is possible. We can create a world fueled by empathy and driven by innovation. The only limitation is the doubts of our minds. We can explore the unconscious parts of our soul and be vulnerable with people that do not have a reason for their feelings, but words for their worries. Creating art is not about being recognized and praised for it but by the ideas that cascade off from it. Poetry has inspired me to be more vulnerable with the darker parts of myself—anxiety, depression, self-doubt, overthinking, trust issues. I was never able to explain why I felt different from everyone else until I found poetry. I could not imagine coping with the stress in my life without a mind outlet. I want my poems to inspire future young, confused, and lonely teenagers who are just trying to find out what their purpose is in society and what kind of person they want to become. I want them to view life through a colorful lens, but also to make sure not to neglect the painful experiences of life. And I want future change-seekers to remember, that despite everything that has happened this year—despite what anyone else tells you or thinks of you, and how unknown you feel in finding your identity—unknown is a mere dream of the past for those who hope. You can achieve anything with a creative mindset.

Imagine this, you just got home from a long day of soccer practice and you are extremely hungry. You go to the fridge to have a yummy pasta dinner. You start to eat your food but feel a burning, painful, stabbing sensation in your chest. You are rushed to the emergency room in a panic with your heart rushing and your mind racing only to have them run a couple tests to find nothing. That was the end of the week of my spring semester as a sophomore college student. I wish I could say that it got better but that was just the beginning of the most painful experience of my life. Hyperventilation, shooting pains in my arms and legs, panic attacks, shortness of breath, constant chest pain, difficulty eating and swallowing, sensitivity to cold and warm temperatures, high heart rate, high blood pressure, dizziness, fatigue, extreme hives, constant fear, tension headaches, insomnia, depersonalization. These are just a couple symptoms that I encountered on the daily. For months, I believed there was something severely wrong with me. That each day would be my last one. And every time I would go into a state of panic, I prayed it would be the last one. I started researching my symptoms after keeping a diary for weeks which seemed futile as each panic attack happened. I was no closer to finding the truth. I sought help from many medical professionals, every time going over symptoms I had felt for months. I was so frustrated. I felt no closer to the truth and I feared the living in the unknown. Every day was a struggle. I never knew if it was going to be a good day or not or if I would be able to move my arms and legs at the end of the day or have an extreme headache where I felt as if I was going to end up in a coma or dead. My boyfriend prayed every day. He never left me when I was in my alternate reality and he told me I could get through it. I appreciated the support but I was confounded as to how it all began. Whenever I would visit a doctor, practitioner, nurse, family member, or friend they would tell me it was just anxiety or a panic attack and I would be okay, but I did not understand why my throat felt like it had a lump, was closing, or had this constant pain swallowing? Or that my chest felt a sharp pain behind my abdomen where I could not even lay down without severe pain and shortness of breath? Was that just me overthinking? It was difficult as a nursing student to not be able to solve my own problem. I was supposed to be an expert at health, so why was this stumping me? What was holding me back? Was it my own mind? I finally decided to take matters into my own hands and set up an appointment with an ear, nose, and throat specialist. Even though I had others doubting that I was sick, I knew I needed help and I was so glad when I finally got the answer I was looking for. Within five minutes of me explaining my story, the doctor told me what I had sounded like GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). He looked into my throat and saw acid reflux and prescribed me a proton pump inhibitor drug to help lower the amount of acid. I was so happy I trusted my gut (pun-intended), I knew it was a sign from God that I could help people who felt lost, fearful, and frustrated like I had. I felt fervently motivated to become a nurse practitioner to help people avoid the monthly process of unknowns and doubts. The next time I see someone have a panic attack, I want to be the person to let them know that their feelings and symptoms are real and I will advocate until the end for their full health potential. As a current nursing student and future nurse practitioner, I will never forget that bad gut feeling I got that night after the emergency room. And I told God, I never wanted anyone to feel the way I was—helpless, which is why I am going to make my nursing practice affordable and available to all patients, no matter their race, ethnicity, background. Everyone deserves to feel safe and heard, and know their gut feeling is valid.