My dad Kris Hayward passed away on January 9th, 2025. At the time, I wasn’t sure how to react. My family at my house was crying, while i just stood there with my face blank. I couldn’t believe he was really gone, and I still am in disbelief. Taking care of him I saw first hand his condition worsen, but I didn’t think he could really be gone. and yet, he was. I don’t often speak outwardly of my feelings, typically I try to appear lighthearted and goofy or quiet. So forgive me for the great change of pace, especially at this time after his passing. I delayed making a post online or speaking outwardly about him because I was still in disbelief and didn't want anyone to worry about me. At this time, I still don't want anyone to worry about me, but I now speak more openly about him. My dad was the best man I have ever met. He was supportive of everything I did. I wanted to wrestle? He was my coach. I started playing a new video game? He wanted to watch me play it and learn about it. I made a new friend? He wanted to meet them. He’s the reason why I have my gaming computer and car. Even up to the last day he was with us, he encouraged me to follow my heart and do what I thought was right. I could go on and on about how he lifted people up and touched the hearts of everyone he met, but if you met him then you would immediately know how he impacted lives. It’s been almost 18 months since his passing and I've missed him every single day of it. All of his advice that I didn’t listen to, the little jokes he would make, his food orders, the times I groaned and complained about him asking me to do chores, I think of them sometimes like how Sheldon from Young Sheldon thought about his father when he passed. When I miss him I sometimes get what he would normally order because it reminds me of him. At his Ceremony of Life Celebration, I once again didn’t show much sorrow. I was more concerned with consoling my family, and making sure they were okay. My sister is doing pretty okay now, she's following her dreams of dancing in college and headed towards Broadway. My mom is still struggling a bit, but she's getting there and showing some improvement. But enough of talking about other people, time to actually answer what this essay is supposed to be about. I’m not just headed to college to study computer science, but also to play for not one, but two esports teams. My father bought me my first ever gaming system, as well as my first gaming computer that I’m currently using to type this essay. He always encouraged me to follow my dreams and put effort and care into what I enjoy. From my first gaming tournament as a child to my first gaming tournament as a NCAA athlete, I know my dad is right by my side supporting me.