Growing up with just my mom around impacted me in ways I really didn’t and couldn’t understand until recently. As a child, just her being there was all I knew, I saw other kids with two parents but I didn’t really think too much into it at the time. With being the “man of the house” at such a young age I had to grow up pretty fast and took on a lot of responsibilities earlier than anyone should have to. I was living in a very dangerous city and had to learn to navigate it all on my own without really having anyone to show me what needed to happen and how. This experience, though not ideal, gave me the problem solving skills and tenacity of someone far older than I was, and even than I am now. I am extremely fortunate and grateful for things to have played out how they did, and without those moments who knows the type of person I’d be today. With those experiences though, I choose not to focus on the negative, but instead use what I learned to help those around me and in the future, those going through similar situations. My ultimate goal in life is to teach and propel the black community in a way I was unable to experience as a child. The thing I yearned for most as a kid was just for someone to tell me they saw me and understood what I was going through, I wasn’t able to receive those things but it is 1000% in my hands to ensure that the next generations of children do have that. I began working with different nonprofit groups as early as my sophomore year of high school, and today I am currently part of an organization called B-MEN (Black Male Excellence Network) here in Birmingham where we give back to the area in various ways. Beyond hands-on involvement though, another area I am immensely passionate about is mental health, specifically that of black men. I know from first hand experience how helpful therapy can be and I advocate for anyone going through life to at least try it. Unpacking a traumatic childhood is very important and having/providing resources for black boys in this country to do so is another goal that I will accomplish in my adult life. Regardless of previous circumstance, my goal, and a goal I believe every human should have is to be the person for someone else that you once needed more than anything.

A big change for me within the past year was moving out and living on my own for the first time. No parent or siblings, no roommates, just me and my two cats. This experience was, and still is, a life changing moment for me because it has shown me so many parts of the world and adulthood that you really can’t see until you’re in it. For the first time ever I was the one solely responsible for rent, groceries, utility bills, etc. I’ve changed significantly during this time because whereas before money and how to spend it was kind of just an afterthought for me, I now see the importance of properly planning things out. Living in the dorm when I first got to college didn’t really require much responsibility or care on my part, that is no longer the case for me. I’ve learned to really appreciate the small things such as coming home to a clean house, preparing actual meals not just freezer food, and interacting with your neighbors. This shift however hasn’t just changed me in my at home life, I see a very different and positive version of myself in many situations. I’ve become more productive in school, my boundaries as far as other people have gotten a lot stronger, and I just have an overall better idea of my “why” in life now. Another huge part of getting your own place that people don’t often discuss, the amount of alone time you suddenly have that you didn’t before. Being the only one here most of the time, I’ve had no choice but to begin turning inward on a lot of things in life. I’ve confronted so many pieces of myself that I was either ignoring or just completely oblivious to. I don’t know if the apartment DIRECTLY correlates to this, but shortly after moving in I began seeing a therapist to further unpack some of the things I began noticing about myself. I think this was a lot a huge piece of shifting into a person I’ve been more proud of being. My confidence has increased dramatically and I ultimately just feel happier with who I am and what it is I came to college to do. I was just going through the motions my first couple of years, once I started figuring out who I really was life became so much clearer and more exciting. After typing this I’m honestly not sure which moment exactly was “the” moment, but whether a culmination of a few moments and decisions that I feel led me here. As far as what remained the same, I would say I didn’t allow this new found joy and confidence to go to my head. I’ve stayed pretty true to who I’ve always been, just knowing better ways to implement that person is the only shift there. Humility is easily one of the most important traits anyone can have, and I believe keeping that trait even as life begins improving is key to keeping the success coming your way.

Fair warning for the name, I promise there is indeed a point here, but, I would have everyone read “The Subtle Art of not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson. This book was extremely helpful for me during a time of trying too hard to fit in. Fit in with people, fit in society, and whatever other preconceived notions this world has placed on me. People think “fitting in” is just something you worry about in high school, but I know for a fact people well into adulthood struggle with this as well. This book teaches readers to let go of the world’s expectations and just be YOU. The truest, most unapologetic version of you that exist. Too often we get caught in comparing ourselves to the outside world, that we lose track of who/what is inside of us. Why didn’t you stick with that talent you had as a child, why didn’t you pursue that major you really enjoyed, why don’t you wear your hair in that new style. . . all the types of questions this book forces readers to ask themselves. This book was so powerful in getting me out of my own head with overthinking. We live in a very robotic and disingenuous society, filled with everyone doing what they think others are looking for them to do, this book would help us all break out of that. Another huge component of this book, living in the present moment. So much of the stress in day to day life comes from things that either already happen, or the way we THINK something will happen. My biggest take away from this book, the past and the future are both illusions and neither benefit you in the present moment. Reliving only keeps you in the same energy field you want to escape, and assuming you know what’s next is a trick because the human mind is prone to always see worst case scenario. The liberty and joy this book gave me is unmatched and once people move past the name and actually delve into it, the lessons they WILL take from it are going to be so fulfilling.

When I first began smoking weed when I was 15, it was just an innocent pass time, so I thought. After a while my habit became stronger and stronger, not a day passed where I wasn’t smoking 4-5 times a day. By the time I was 20, I found myself not only smoking heavily, but I had also worked my way up to using psilocybin. It was during this time of taking shrooms though that I realized something was wrong with how I was carrying myself. I was harming very important relationships in my life at the time; be it my mother, girlfriend, or just everyday interactions. My habits were making me extremely lethargic, lose sight of my goals, irritable, and ultimately were taking place for reasons I couldn’t even understand. Around the same time I began to take shrooms I also began therapy and it was here I started unpacking why exactly I was so addicted to “escaping”. Though I obviously see the harm and wrong in what I was doing, without it I don’t think I would’ve ever gotten down to the REAL issues. The paranoia that came with constantly being high made me face so many of my traumas and had me in my head so much I had no choice but to seek change. This desire to change got me into a lot of different and healthier habits that quite frankly have saved my life. It was in the lonely moments of withdrawal from not being high that I was able to really sit with myself and figure out what it was that I truly loved/enjoyed. I began eating healthier, working out more, meditating, journaling, all the different daily habits that I could think of that were more productive than sitting around with my friends getting high. These habits led me to figuring out what it was I really wanted to do with my life. Using the different drugs I did I have great empathy and understanding for people still using them and what their underlying reasons could be. I’m a firm believer in living through something personally is the best way to humble you and remove all judgment from your ego. I am now a medical sociology major and my focus here is figuring out AND helping with the “why” behind peoples poor mental, physical, and emotional health. Three components I feel all go hand in hand. When you’re not well in one area the other two will for sure decline as well, so helping people become more conscious of their decisions and habits is huge for me. Without those dark years of my life, I would have never found passion and purpose in what I am even in school for. My first two years I was really just going through the motions, it wasn’t until healthier habits entered my life that I realized I had such a passion for the health and well-being of society. Thank you all for giving myself and others a space to share such a sensitive topic and I appreciate the consideration for this scholarship.

Being so closely touched and involved with community service is what had lead me to want the idea to be such a big part of my life. From a very early age, with both my mother and grandmother working for nonprofit organizations, I’ve seen how helpful giving back to any community, and especially your own, can help and inspires so many people. Be it the “Breakfast with Santa” that my Mom hosted for 6 straight Christmas’ (2015-2021) or women and children’s homeless shelters, or the back to school drives my Grandmother has been holding at her job (Mercy Home for Boys and Girls; Chicago based) since before I was even born, the impact of helping people has always touched me. These events have showed how genuinely kind and loving people are placed in unfortunate situations and all they need is someone to show them the slightest bit of compassion. So often this world treats people who need help as outcast, casting the blame of their situation onto them, and so rarely look to help those people in whatever ways possible. Because these events and ideas have been so prominent in my life for so long, helping is ALWAYS first on my list, judging is ALWAYS last. As far as contributing even more of this in my everyday life, I’ve joined an organization here at my school called PagePals, where I go once a week to read to elementary schools near my campus. Another huge component of giving back is dispelling the narrative black men have been given in this world, and country specifically. If i can help show just one person in this world that a black man can be gentle, helpful, and loving, then I feel like I am serving my purpose as a man in this world. I also continue to be involved in the Mercy Home back to school drives whenever I am home for the summer. Again showing a side of black men that the world so often likes to ignore. As far as disaster relief, I have no personally done any work there, however, I have seen the effects first hand and when the opportunity for me to be involved in someway presents itself I will absolutely jump on it. Being in Birmingham now for college, I’ve seen how devastating tornadoes and different things can be to people living along coast, a reality I wasn’t all too familiar with back in Chicago. Another situation of good people needing nothing more than some help and compassion from the world around them. It is my goal to begin some sort of community center to help in situations like these. I will not pretend that I have a big plan prepared at the moment as far as that, I do however know my purpose, and really the purpose of everyone in the Universe, is to help in whatever ways you can. That is my goal and that is a goal I will 1000% continue to fulfill.

The song “Outside Looking In” by G Herbo has an extremely important message. I would like to lead by saying I know the genre and form of projection may not be ideal or for everyone, but if you can look past that and into the words being said, there is a powerful message to be found. This song depicts and explains the upbringing of a very underrepresented group of society. Within this song the artist highlights the difference in his childhood than one typically portrayed to us. This life came with a lot of hidden meanings that the artist, even as an adult, is still learning to navigate. This song means a lot to me because I’ve lived every lyric, and I know there are thousands of more people, black and brown men specifically, who have lived a very similar life. Going back to my earlier point about this style maybe not sitting well on everyone’s ear, that there is an even bigger reason this song holds importance to me. If you can acknowledge the difference in another’s life you should be able to look past the difference in their approach and just hear what they are trying to get across to you. We live in a society where we promote being unique and your own person, but the second someone’s definition of that does not fit our own we look down upon it. Being compassionate and understanding of people regardless of their past and variance from us, is exactly what this song is about. Thank you all for reading and I hope you were able to take something away from this piece.

An impactful moment in my life was working a “Breakfast with Santa” at a women and children shelter here in Chicago. My mom worked for a nonprofit called Chicago Child Care Society, and this is who the breakfast was sponsored through. This was a very positive moment for me because it opened my eyes to a side of the world that I, wasn’t oblivious to, but had never seen up close. My ran a view toy drives and women’s necessities drives leading up to the breakfast to give to those staying in the shelter. The first thing that really stuck out to me was just how willing people are to help others. We depict this world as such a cold and ruthless place, when in reality that is not the case. There is obviously some bad in the world, but the amount of good significantly outweigh it when you pay attention. We had over 100 toys, 30 coats and jackets, and a surplus of toiletries to give at the shelter; with many of those donations coming from people who weren’t in the best situation themselves. Seeing the willingness from these people gave me a whole new idea of what it meant to give and the ways you can give to someone. Actually being in the shelter and handing out the gifts and eating breakfast with those staying there was a completely different type of appreciation and realization. This was another case of people being given this negative wrap in society when it couldn’t be further from the case. Every person in there was so genuinely kind, and present with themselves, it kind of makes you forget what their current circumstance is. Seeing that level of positivity come from a group of people going through so much have me a ton of mixed emotions. On one hand it was very refreshing to see, but on the other there was the obvious hurt and pain that you just know all of them had to go through to even end up here. All and all though I really enjoyed this day because of the gratitude that just filled the room. Everyone there from the volunteers, to the shelter workers, to the families staying there, not a single person showed any sign of anger or fear or anything negative. It seemed like for that moment in time we were all just there together, no judgment or opinion, just raw human contact. Our first time doing this was December of 2016 and we did it 5 years straight until my mom moved on to another job. Each time doing this felt just as special as that first time and even though we didn’t get to be involved this year, it’s definitely a practice I’ll carry with me throughout life and that I plan to one day start my own version of.

For as long as I could remember I’ve been into natural remedies and natural healing. Even before I could really understand that those ideas were present; drinking fresh squeezed citrus during the winter, steeping fruit peelings for natural tea, infusing herbs in my everyday food. . .health has ALWAYS been at the forefront of my life. When I began college, I started out following a path that my mother and grandmother set up for me, which was engineering. The area of study was cool, but it never felt like it was my calling, it felt like I was chasing nothing more than dollar signs. Once I decided I wanted to pursue something I genuinely enjoyed, my college experience changed right before my eyes. I am now majoring in Medical Sociology with a minor in African-American Studies. This area of study feels 1000x better in my spirit and for me as a person. I know for a fact that natural medicine is the way to a better, happier, life. I also know that the health disparities we face in regis country, and around the world, are not by accident at all. Studying the “why” behind life can tell you a lot more than just looking at the problem and finding the solution. Finding the answer to “why is this even happening” opens up doors of possibility the world isn’t even aware of. Though I am not in full support of western medicine, I do think there is a TON to learn from it and all fields associated. I advocate for black people in this country and the fact of the matter is our health is not as highly regarded for as other races, so I cannot say that I support or agree with the current systems in place. However, I know I am the source of the change I desire. I know that combining my ideas and concepts with the already existing ones of this country and world will change healthcare and medicine as we currently know it. Working in this role would give me the extra experience and point of view I need to make my own dreams a reality. Why doesn’t this society teach us all the benefits of plants and herbs. . . why isn’t yoga or breath work taught in schools. . .why do doctors and other healthcare professions salary and pay DEPEND ON THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THAT ARE SICK??? All of these questions, I feel, hold the answers that would completely change the world and medical field as we know it. I have so much to offer the medical world and hope you all enjoyed reading this brief excerpt of me and what it is I stand for.