While browsing through scholarship opportunities, this one really caught my eye. Of course, my application for this scholarship suggests that I have lost a parent, and that was one reason why this scholarship stood out to me. However, the biggest reason it caught my attention was the due date. April 1st is an incredibly basic date at first glance, when one hears of April 1st many think of April Fool’s Day; however, for me, it means much more than that. April 28th, 2024, the morning after my junior year prom I woke to find my mother who had been battling stage IV colon cancer for the past two years, on the floor, unresponsive, and without a pulse. My entire world fell upside down, and I felt so alone. I was alone in the house, with only my boyfriend who had stayed the night when we arrived home from prom at about 4 am. He was with me when we told my mom good night and that we loved her. Who knew that only 6 hours later, my entire life would be changed? My mother, Eleanor Lester, had just turned 60 on April 1st, 2024. She was my rock, and the reason I chose to pursue college. She pushed me every day to do my very best. She supported me in everything I faced, anything I loved, and all that I did. My mom is my hero, any chance I get I'll talk about her. She was strong, and not just in the sense of a cancer patient, she had been below the poverty line, above it, had two kids, a divorce, a 2nd marriage, lost her mom at age 40 to breast cancer, lost her dad in June of 2020, and was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer in 2022; and she still persevered. Living without her is extremely hard. In the beginning, we wondered if we could even afford groceries if we continued living in our house. My relationship with my house is so difficult, on one hand, I remember so many amazing memories with her, and on the other, all I can think of is how empty it is now, how lonely, and the image of her lifeless in her bedroom will never leave my mind. Continuing school felt impossible, I’ve always been considered a “gifted” student, but my studies are always greatly affected by my personal life. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to have such kind teachers that I consider as close as family who helped me in every way possible to ensure I would maintain my original grade I had before the tragedy. Still now, almost 5 months later, I have days I don’t want to get out of bed. I wondered what the point was if my mom couldn’t witness my senior year. She had talked about it since I entered middle school and never stopped, my graduation year also happened to land on the 50th anniversary of our high school which she held so much pride for. For once, I, an atheist, now hoped that in some way she could still see me and share these monumental moments of my life. The only thing that keeps me going daily is the thought of making her proud. She wanted me to do so many things in my life, and live it to the fullest. I would do anything for my mother, so for her, I will continue to live my life and do all she hoped I would since she wasn’t so lucky to be here to experience it.

As a child, my worst fear was cancer. My maternal grandmother had died of breast cancer that spread to bone before I was born and my paternal great grandmother had died in front of me from a form of cancer as well. Wherever I looked it seemed all I was met with was cancer within both sides of my family. The day my mother informed me of her tumors in her liver that had originated from her colon, my heart dropped. That was May of 2022. My mother fought long and hard going through Stage IV Colon Cancer, being a mother of a 17 year old and 35 year old, she managed to withstand chemotherapy, as well as radiation, for 2 years, with a smile and uplifting attitude. On April 28th 2024, 27 days after her 60th birthday, I woke up the morning after prom to find her passed away in her bedroom. I felt like my entire world had ended. She was my world. She was so excited to see my senior year. We planned to move to NOVA together as I pursued college at George Mason University. So many unfinished plans, unanswered questions, and a pit of emptiness was all I was left with. She was my rock, my inspiration, my biggest supporter, and my hero. The idea of moving on seems impossible, and I make an effort to include her in every aspect of my life to this day. I will never forget her, because to forget her, would be to forget a piece of me. To choose one thing I loved most is not possible. I loved everything about her, she was kind, beautiful, strong, smart, loving, and inspirational. At her cancer center where she received her treatment she was a shining light, all of the staff and patients couldn't wait to see her because she never failed to brighten their day. I remember a specific moment, it was one of her harder days, she was nervous, tired, and every other affliction coinciding with cancer and the treatment. She was sitting in the waiting room next to a man, a new patient. She did not know this man and had no reason to speak to him, but she did. She started chatting and asking how he was feeling and she found that he was incredibly nervous. He was given a very hard diagnosis and was believed to be terminal by the doctors. He told her how terrified he was and how much he still needed to do in his life. She decided to share some advice with him. "Everyone is terminal. We all have limited time on this earth, it's all in how you chose to spend that time. Instead of fearing the inevitable, you should focus on the now, what you can do today, and how you can help yourself and those around you." She was then taken back for treatment by a nurse and later was asked what she had said to the man. The terrified man, who walked in practically shaking, feeling lost and hopeless, was now cheerful and speaking to the nurses. She told them what she had said to him and even worried that maybe she said the wrong thing. It was just the opposite. I believe the thing I loved the most about my mom is her ability to lift any spirit and make them feel hope. She gives me hope even after her death that I can make it in this lifetime, and there is always a way.