One More Light by Linkin Park has the most important message of any song I've ever heard. It is a reminder that you are not alone, and even in your darkest times, there is hope and there is always someone who will be there for you. You are important, valued, and loved, even if you can't see it. As a survivor of suicide myself, it hits very close to home.

I grew up in a family who didn't support anyone in the LGBTQ+ community in the slightest. I was surrounded at every family gathering by homophobic and transphobic slurs, and all of the classic claims of "gays going to hell". When I realized I was asexual while in middle school, I felt like it might be easier for my family to understand not feeling any attraction to others than being attracted to the same sex, but I was wrong. And it took me until this summer, after my freshman year of college, to truly realize that I don't have a gender, either. I also realized that I've actually felt this way most of my life, whether due in part to my neurodivergence, or just the fact that I have never grasped the purpose that a gendered life serves. The unfortunate truth about all of this in regards to the lack of support from family, is the fact that I even associate myself in any way with people who aren't straight could be and likely is, in many ways, the key to Pandora's box. I have spent years on end fearing what anyone in my family would say to me if I told them anything. I don't feel safe talking about queer stuff with my parents, who otherwise support and love everything I do. It's a strange but heartbreaking experience to love someone and yet know that you cannot trust them with certain things, because they could end up loving you much less, or, God forbid, leave you. Luckily, I found many friends who were in similar boats to me, and I trusted them with everything. They have been my rock when it comes to anything LGBTQ related. I know that there is a strong sense of community and understanding there that I don't get from my family members. The level of deep introspection required of me in order to find my real identity is not unique to my overall crisis, but the ability to look inside myself and translate what I feel into real life is a pivotal part of what I'm studying. I'm an art and music student, and I'm majoring in studio art with a drawing emphasis. I want to use my skills as an artist to create beautiful things that make people think about themselves and their own lives. With my degree, I want to make a name for myself as an artist from multiple different marginalized groups, so that young people like me might see me and what I am doing and think "hey, I can do that to!" I want to inspire the next generation of creative minds and change makers through my work, and completing my degree will help me take a huge step toward that goal.

I want to live in a world where I don't have to live in fear or shame of who I am and what could happen to me because of it. I am a mixed race, neurodivergent, LGBTQ+ student, and most every day, I can't sit comfortably in my own skin knowing how much hatred I could be shown or danger that I could be thrown into. I have always and forever been labelled an outsider, from the day I was born up until now, and it wasn't until the last few years that I found a select few people whom I could really trust to know my truest self. Frankly, I don't know if I will every be brave enough to come out to anyone in my family, or to proudly and unabashedly own any part of myself. It was drilled into me from day one that being different is a bad thing, and I've spent most of my life believing that I was bad because of it. I am tired of having to act like I'm in witness protection, concealing who I really am for my own safety. I have to mask my real emotions and actions in fear of being called any number of slurs. I can't be open about my LGBTQ status to the majority of people because there's no true way to know how anyone will take it, and the risk of being attacked verbally or physically is so disgustingly high. I can't talk about my multicultural identity to anybody, because my phenotypical traits makes most every person think that I'm lying about it. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way about myself and my identity, but after being treated differently my whole life, it's hard to realize that I am not the only one who knows how much it hurts to try and be someone you are not. But that is what many have to do to make others happy or to keep themselves alive. I hope I live to see the day when I and so many others don't have to be afraid anymore, because being different from the majority won't be a shameful thing. The change I really hope to see in the world is just that. That the differences we all have are celebrated and appreciated, because diversity is an amazing, beautiful part of what it means to be human.

Being human means having a unique place in the world, and the infinite number of subtle niches into which each and every person can fit makes the societies in which we live complex and ever changing. It's amazing, and yet very saddening, that every little intricacy of every single life will never able to be fully experienced. I utilize my skill as an artist to translate this feeling of sonder into my work, trying to capture candid moments from the lives of others as well as myself. I know that I want to make an impact on the world through creating things, and I want to show people the amazing complexities of human existence as best as I can.

My ancestors are some of the original inhabitants of North America. Despite all of our cultural differences, every indigenous community is formed around the unity and symbiosis of humans with the Earth. Earth has supported life since the very beginning, from the smallest single celled organism, to the dinosaurs, the largest lifeforms to ever have lived. We indigenous people recognize the amazing diversity of living things, and how extremely fragile the balance of all aspects of nature are. One thing goes haywire, and the others are destined to fall along with it. This planet is a very special place. If all people realize how amazing it is that we live somewhere that life can actually happen, surely we will make protecting it the top priority. I aim to follow in my ancestors' footsteps and help restore the natural world, creating a safer, healthier, more abundant, and more beautiful place to call home.

Bravery is something I've always had a difficult time with. I've dealt with severe anxiety for the majority of my life, so 'brave' is something that I never felt I could be. But looking back at all of the trials and hardships in my life thus far, I realized that it took some serious guts to make it through. I just recently stood up to one of my many childhood bullies who never felt sorry for how much they hurt me, and to be able to do that was very brave, even though I felt so vulnerable. Bravery to me is about doing things you never thought you could, even if you feel the vulnerability and fear that I have felt so often. It's about doing the right thing in spite of fear, and to be authentic and uniquely yourself no matter what anyone else says. Living boldy is another aspect of bravery. It took me years to come to terms with the fact that our lives on Earth are extremely short, so it's not worth it to hold yourself back from doing the things you really want to do in order to please those around you. Like that one quote says, "we're here for a good time, not a long time." So I pride myself in being who I want to be, dressing how I want to dress, consuming the media that I enjoy, and all around just being up for all the fun life can bring, even if it scares me.

One of my most favorite hobbies is drawing. I have been drawing constantly since I was a toddler, and now although still a hobby, I am working to make it part do my career! I am majoring in Studio Art with a drawing emphasis currently, which I hope will teach me how to become even better than before. I love drawing because it allows me to translate my thoughts, feelings, and ideas into the real world. I use it to share stories that I create that are better shown and not told.

I have been struggling with mental illness since the age of 8. I am 19 now, so well over half of my life has been affected by anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It is really hard for me to talk about, because it seems like there is something within me, maybe something that has been affected by the stigma of mental health, that wants to deny every piece of evidence that my brain is needing help to heal. That's one thing that I've found that few people actually understand. The brain is an organ, just like the rest of the organs in our body, and it can get sick too. But even though I know that, it's as if my own mind is trying to convince me that everything is fine, nothing is wrong, don't bother talking to anyone about it, etc., etc. The problem with that, though, is that when I ended up actually listening to my brain telling me nothing was wrong, that's when things went absolutely haywire and I almost lost my own battle multiple times... Thank God I didn't, even though sometimes I still get those feelings. If I did, I would not have met my current dog (who's my best animal friend), gotten a job, learned to drive, been in show choir, won a bunch of art awards, or graduated high school. As for how my mental health experience is shaped my goals, most of my goals as of recently have something to do with improving an aspect of my mental health, usually self esteem, motivation, something along those lines. One of my goals that has been ongoing for the past, well, many years, is to "heal from trauma". That is not very specific, but I was relentlessly bullied from that start of my issues at 8 years old, up until 8th grade. It really did a number on me, that's for sure! (that's an attempt at humor, one of my best coping mechanisms!) And I've met with multiple therapists over the years to attempt to find a way that somehow would be a cure-all solution for my "problems". 11 years and counting and I haven't found something yet. My mental health has really had an impact on not just my relationships with other people but my relationship with myself. Earlier today actually, I tried telling myself "I love you" without even looking in a mirror, and that made me cry for a good half an hour. Basically I learned to hate who I am and everything about me and somehow I can't seem to convince myself that I'm actually worth something. Now imagine what my reaction would have been if I was looking in a mirror as well. I would have to take the next 3-5 business days off to recuperate. (I'm sorry if my humor isn't that funny, I'm just trying to sugar coat things for myself so I don't spiral thinking about my past). As for relationships with other people, I am usually wracked with anxiety over being rejected, saying something wrong, being annoying, being mean unintentionally, or literally doing anything to make them hate me. I have never made friends easily, and I've been betrayed and hurt by so many people that relationships that aren't great from the start cause me to panic constantly. I haven't had any relationships stop because of these issues, which I am thankful for, but it makes things very stressful on my part, worrying that one day that person will just get up and leave me and my mess of a life. If you couldn't tell, my amount of self worth equates to that of a smashed up grape. My understanding of the world because of my mental health struggles is definitely different than what I thought it would be. I've learned that even though there's a lot of people aware of different mental illnesses, there are not a whole lot willing to take the time to really understand and genuinely care about those struggling with them. For example, I've had many panic attacks in public, and I've had people yell at me, laugh at me, or just stand and stare as I'm crying and shaking on a stack of basketball hoop boxes in the sports section at Walmart (that time was weird because I dissociated from one end of the store to that box pile). I'm sure many of those bystanders KNEW what was going on to an extent, but none of them UNDERSTOOD that I needed help or CARED to do anything about it. I believe the world would benefit from a greater understanding and acceptance of people with mental illnesses. Like previously stated, brains can get sick too, and it would do everyone good to make sure people understand that.

My name is Kaiya Diestler, and I am a freshman at the University of Nebraska at Kearney. I am majoring in studio art and minoring in music. I tried my hardest to pick one over the other but I love both of them so much that I decided it would be better just to study both. I am a singer and I am very adept at drawing and sculpting. I have been very fortunate to have grown up in a place that values the contributions of artists to our community, and to have been surrounded by family that sees the arts as an important part of any person's education. I am fortunate as well to have gone to a school system that recognizes how the arts are beneficial for the health and well-being of every human, and that ignoring them would be letting our fellow people down. The arts in every form are so important to me and my life. I do not know where I would be if I was unable to express myself and the things I care about in a creative way. Art has helped me out of dark places, it has helped me heal from trauma, process feelings in a healthy way, and explain my emotions when my words fail. Without it, I would not be here writing this essay today. Art, in many ways, saved my life. On another, more upbeat note, I am a person of mixed indigenous descent, so I know how important both art and music are to every society, especially the societies of indigenous people. Making music allows us to send our love and prayers to the creator and show thanks for everything we have been given. The art we make allows us to tell stories, teach young people valuable lessons, connect with the Earth that sustains us, and with each other. Every society relies on artists to keep it afloat. Arts allow us to express feelings, desires, beliefs, and essentially anything else our imaginations can fathom. Everything around us that is manmade was thought up by an artist, planned out by an artist, and created physically by an artist. Buildings, vehicles, clothing, packages, even tubes of toothpaste were conceptualized by someone with creativity in their mind. The foundation of everything in human society is the arts. Without it, we would not be where we are today. Our ability to create things is unique to our species. From the very beginning of human history, where we carved up delicate arrowheads and rudimentary hammers, and painted with our hands on rocks, to today, where we are designing living spaces to incorporate nature and revolutionizing art in the digital world, I am so very fortunate to have the ability to continue this ancient human tradition of creating.

Art has been a part of my life from before I was ever born. I am descended from people for whom art was not just for decoration, but for passing on the stories of days past. My family is full of people who create for the love of making things. Sculptures, paintings, music, all of it has been deeply engrained into my very genetics. I was born an artist long before I was ever even thought of. One thing that drives my passion for art is my innate ability to translate what comes from my mind into something physical. Art allows me to showcase my talents and portray my unique perspective on the world. I want to use this ability to teach other people about the many different aspects of my identity and how they impact my life and my existence as a human being. From my experience as a Neurodivergent person, to what it is like growing up as biracial, making art in many different forms has helped me convey present realities in a way that is meaningful and understandable. I hope that through my art I will be able to make others aware of the realities of people unlike themselves, in order to foster understanding and respect. I believe that these two things are the building blocks to a much kinder, beautiful world, which is what I am sure we all want for our future generations. Another thing that drives my passion for art is how connected creativity is to the history of humankind. I find it so amazing that all of those thousands of years ago when written language was not even dreamt of, art was used to tell stories and teach young people how the world works. Early humans crafted complex tools, the likes of which no other species has ever done. We sculpted and carved and painted deities and pictures of our triumphs. Art is uniquely human. Every single society in every part of the world uses art as a way to show their culture, beliefs, history, passions, desires, fears, and perception of beauty. I find it so rewarding that I am able to play a part in this rich and ancient tradition and contribute to the history of humanity. This scholarship will play a crucial part in helping me learn how to make the art I create even better than I have before. It will help me in learning how I can stand out from the crowd of future professional artists, and ultimately, how I can achieve what I desire from a career. A career that will undoubtedly be rewarding beyond measure.