Growing up, I always thought something was wrong with me, as I always found it hard to focus and stay on track in school. It was especially difficult for me in high school when I started taking college classes and found that so much focus had to be put on school work with minimal distraction. This was difficult, though, as I perceived almost everything around me to be a distraction. I found that during that time, in the 11 years of my schooling, I never really paid attention to what the teacher was saying. Instead, I found myself fidgeting with the edges of papers, chewing on the insides of my cheeks, and replaying the most recent events from a television show I watched the night prior. I was truly focusing on everything and, at the same time, focusing on nothing at all.
What was even harder, though, was that when I brought my found issues to trusted adults and loved ones, I was constantly met with the response that I just was not trying hard enough. I had no professional diagnosis, but I knew that something was wrong and not everyone was battling the same hurdle that I was. No matter how hard I tried to put my mind to the task at hand, I found myself in a swirl of thoughts, and I physically could not think of just one thing. I physically could not stay in my seat. I physically could not not talk for more than fifteen minutes. I know I wanted to, but I just couldn't.
After my inability to succeed in my college classes, I had convinced my parents to send me for professional help, and it truly was an eye-opener. It was then that I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. Aside from the obvious method of medication, seeking that long-needed assistance opened my eyes to everything I needed and more. I sought out the help of a therapist, who let me know that while not everyone was experiencing what I was going through, I was not alone. While it was a long journey, and I still believe I am going through it, that was the beginning of my path to success.
After seeking professional help, and starting medication, I finally found myself blocking out all the disturbances that were obstructing my learning. It was so refreshing to hear not only silence but also my own thoughts, my one voice, and not the swirling thoughts, emotions, and pondering obstacles in my mind. While I did initially struggle with immersing myself in college work while still in high school, having a therapist and talking through those emotions and challenges helped me immensely mentally.
Having that support system, and having someone tell me that having an attention deficit disorder was something that I could not control, truly were the first steps to my success. And while it still is a work in progress, I've connected with several people who are going through the same thing as me. With that support, I do find myself being successful going into university and, hopefully, in the workforce with my continuous support, knowing that I am not alone on this and success is achievable with the right resources.