@kcitlynshepard

There are many variations of interpretations that fans like myself have made for the songs from Taylor Swift’s entire discography, specifically 1989. Utterly flawless, the song that has always stood out to me is Track 4, “Out Of The Woods.” To me, “Out Of The Woods” perfectly depicts the formidable changes that people face in life and how anxiety-ridden it can be. As you grow up you see things in this roaring and vivid color, everything is through rose-colored lenses, and as Swift states in her lyrics, “everything seems so simple.” I still remember when my family and I would visit this winter holiday house and spend the best days in 400 acres of snowy woods. We would go sledding down these huge hills for hours to the point that I fell off my snow tube and got into an accident with the layers of ice piled up on the snow. I didn’t need twenty stitches in a hospital room, but I did indeed cry like a baby. We would head back to the house during sunset where we would bundle up in blankets and sit by the fireplace, but the best memories come from moving the furniture out of the way to make room for our collective Guitar Hero fixation. Inevitably, my go-to songs of choice were always “Love Story” and “You Belong With Me.” We would play, dance, and sing for hours. These were the nights that I couldn’t quite forget and although those are all just small glimpses of a memory from my childhood, it makes me realize just how much things have changed today. Long story short, I have struggled with anxiety deeply throughout most of my life. In the song, Swift repeatedly asks the question “Are we out of the woods yet?” and “Are we in the clear yet?” to emphasize how badly she wanted to feel relief and an escape from these monsters that were taunting her. Like Swift, there were moments in my life when I felt this to a tee. I would periodically feel secure and steady, but even when I felt like I was flying, it seemed like I was built to constantly fall apart in the end. There was no explicit reason for my anxiety. It would come in waves out of nowhere. My mind would just wander, and it felt like I was being run off the road. I couldn’t get my head on straight, and the world was black and white instead of screaming color. I couldn’t handle the heat of all the drastic changes that were happening in my life, and I just wanted to go back to when times were simple because when you’re young, you just run. However, you come back to what you need. I’ve now accepted that life moves on, and change can be good, and although I still struggle with anxiety occasionally, I realized that the monsters that once clouded my mind and body were just trees. I’ve learned to cherish the good memories from my early childhood instead of overthinking and wishing that things were like they used to be. Nevertheless, I not only deeply relate to the powerful lyricism that Swift utilizes in this song, but the production of the song itself. The captivating yet chaotic production emphasizes the feeling of anxiety and the same desperate feeling that I was previously describing. This is why even after streaming 1989 countless times, I can say without hesitation that “Out Of The Woods” is my favorite song off the album.

In elementary school, I was always in this constant battle with myself about whether I should sit in the front or the back of the class. It was in my best interest at the time to sit in the back so I could sit with the so-called “cool kid,” but there was also another part of me that wanted to sit in the front for some inexplicable reason. It never occurred to me until several years later that this was because of my severe hearing loss. I’ve always been able to effectively pay attention to teachers because of their loud and projective voices, however, I always struggled to hear my peers’ responses when they raised their hands in class. This became noticeably worse as I entered middle school. I remember laughing it off with my friends when I returned from the nurse’s office one day and told them that I had failed my hearing test as if it was some kind of silly joke, but I didn’t know any better and I chose to ignore the issue at hand completely. It was when I entered high school that I started to notice the complications of my ability to hear. My friends began to tease me for constantly repeating the phrases, “what” and “huh,” and I began asking them to repeat the objectives of class because I would often zone out and miss what the teacher was saying. Suddenly, my disability to hear became one of my biggest insecurities and I dreaded speaking to my peers. I didn’t want people to look at me differently just because I’d ask them to repeat themselves a few times, I didn’t want people to grow to resent me because they felt as if I was ignoring them, and most of all, I didn’t want this to challenge the academic excellence that I have worked so hard for. My hearing loss has impacted my life in ways that others will never be able to understand, but as frustrating as it is, I have learned that there is not much I can do but remain positive. I still remember when my audiologist told me that my performance level in school was seriously impressive given my circumstances, and that alone felt so much more rewarding than seeing an A+ on any assignment. It was relieving to hear that someone who understood my struggles had noticed my hard work and dedication to maintaining what I have worked so hard for. Although my hearing will gradually become worse, I will continue to remain ambitious in achieving my goals and thriving in my future. I have thought long and hard about my place in this world, and through pursuing this path, I plan to visually communicate with those alike and spread awareness about the struggles of hearing loss that I and others endure every day. To do this, I aspire to graduate from college with a degree in Marketing, Digital Media and Design, or Graphic Communications. I will work courageously to ensure that my hard work pays off, and through resilience and perseverance, I can make my dreams come true.

I have always daydreamed of becoming exceedingly successful since my youth. So with that goal in mind, I applied those dreams to my academics and work ethic, and have since made notable efforts to become the best version of myself. Attributable to my years of hard work, I am ambitious in my pursuit of earning a Marketing degree and a minor in Graphic Design, and with great enthusiasm and marketing skills, I will elicit emotion and have a powerful impact on the lives of others, bringing me the success that I have desired since I was a child.

I can still remember the day of my Pre-K graduation when I stood in front of the entire audience and announced that I wanted to be a mom when I grew up. I can still hear the warm laughter that I drew from the audience because of how hopeful I sounded about my future at the age of 5. Throughout the course of my life, I have continued to remain hopeful about my future success, even as my hopes and dreams evolved over time. At the age of eleven, I fell in love with art, and set my mind to a new dream of becoming a fashion designer. This dream of mine prolonged throughout middle school where I would tell myself every day that tomorrow was the day a big idea would pop up in my mind, the day that I could afford to design my best friend’s wedding dress, or the day that I could design my very own fashion line. However, it never stuck and that version of tomorrow never happened because of my negligence towards this apparent dream of mine. As I began to apply for high school, I realized that I was more wrapped up in the idea of success rather than directly working towards that goal, which helped me realize that fashion design ultimately wasn’t for me. As a result of this realization, I steered akin to the art of fashion and applied for the Printing and Graphics Communication program at Harford Technical High School to learn the depths of design. As a rising senior, I now have high hopes to pursue a major in Marketing and a minor in Graphic Design, following a similar path from the past four years. While my hopes and dreams today do not directly align with the aspirations I had at the age of five or eleven, these dreams of mine have ultimately led me to become who I have become and who I will become, which is why this scholarship would help me achieve this dream that I have shaped for myself over the past 17 years and grant me significant financial security as I navigate college and the world beyond high school. Through my experiences of learning about the many aspects of graphic design, I have become proficient in using my knowledge and abilities to give back to my community. I have carefully designed an abundance of flyers, brochures, business cards, etc. for local businesses to help promote their craft, and I have also shared my ideas on how to better their market, something that I plan to continue to pursue. Being able to help others through these collaborative ideas and my art has positively impacted my life and has fundamentally fueled my passion to pursue this life path and achieve the success that I have so long yearned for.