Growing up I was always anxious and reserved. When I was 8 I suffered from various kinds of abuse, causing me to develop severe anxiety and depression. School was never easy either, with ADHD distracting me from learning and severe anxiety with test taking. I began to resent myself and those around me, constantly hurting myself and hurting the feelings of those I loved.
For over 8 years I suffered every day, I could not talk to people or carry out daily life without having a panic attack. Due to the abuse I endured I would never trust others in fear it would happen again. I even landed in the hospital multiple times as a result of panic attacks. I believed my life would never get better, I would never trust another person and I would be better off if I was not here. If I could go back, I would tell myself that isn't true, though so many people say "It gets better" and you never believe them, it truly does.
Not only did I suffer, but my family did too, I can only imagine how much it took to take care of me and to even love me, but I love them and appreciate both them and my friends for sticking by my side. Getting on the right meds helped me so much, I had gone through 2 different medications before, that made me aggressive and angry, they weren't right for me, and my friends have now told me I was rude back then but they don't blame me, because I was struggling, and I appreciate them so much for loving me during my good and my bad, and I try my best every day to be a better person than I was yesterday, and to make it up to them.
The one thing that really helped me get through my hardest times was my growing interest in cosmetology, doing makeup or my nails helped me come to love myself so much more. Using makeup to enhance my features made me so happy in my own skin and feel the best about my face, which before I resented and hated looking at. I always hated seeing pictures of myself or even my own reflection, but using cosmetics to enhance my features made me feel so beautiful. I began to feel thankful for the life I was given that is so wonderful, and I thank God for giving me life and for guiding me along, even when I thought it was impossible and as if I should give up.
My journey is why I would love to pursue cosmetology, I want to give others those same feelings I felt and make them feel beautiful and happy in their skin. I would be beyond grateful to receive this scholarship, which would help me in pursuing this wonderful career. Thank you for this opportunity, and don't forget to love yourself and remember your life is a beautiful gift.