I remember running outside every day to look for the bright green among the brown. I would gently poke at the moist earth, searching for a sign of life. When no sprouts were to be found, I would become discouraged. I had a love-hate relationship with gardening as a kid. I loved literally reaping what I had sown, but hated all the waiting. Before the seeds sprouted, there was always that period of fear. Fear that I had done something wrong, or that the seeds were a lie, or that they had been taken away by an animal. But once those beacons of life revealed themselves I would feel sweet relief. And then came even more waiting. Waiting for blossoms or vegetables or roots. It was torture for an impatient child. Patience is recognizing that most things take time. Life, like plants, is full of periods of growth and anticipation. But being patient keeps me from self-sabotage. If I dug up the soil every time I doubted the seeds were still there, that things were happening, then nothing would ever be able to grow. I can find parallels in my own life. If I'm too hard on myself or others because things aren't going my way according to my envisioned timeline, if I'm quick to anger, and if I try to rush things, then how are they supposed to happen? Plants can't be rushed, people can't be rushed, life can't be rushed. Patience is accepting this fact and embracing it. Slow down and enjoy the journey; let things bloom naturally.

One of my favorite hobbies is writing. Specifically, I love writing novels and screenplays. Growing up I always loved movies and television with relatable characters. But I also found there to be a limit in the on-screen representation. Not a lot of media matches the diversity of real-life. Media is gradually improving, but it's hard to miss the lack of LGBT and/or BIPOC stories. My solution? I write what I want to see. I love writing my own television shows featuring LGBT and BIPOC characters that I believe are missing in mainstream media. Sapphic superheroes, Asian-American werewolves, young characters struggling with their gender identity; I can bring them to life. Writing also allows me to rope in my love of drawing. I love designing characters and thinking about what their clothing says about their personality or how they smile or how they utilize their physical characteristics. When writing your own stories with your own characters, there are no limits. I love every character I've brought to life and I love the worlds I've built. I am proud of my work, even if I don't always share it with people. Writing stories is my passion and I will never stop writing the stories I wish I had had growing up.

Being a teenager is awkward. In seeking acceptance, it is easy to hide parts of yourself from other people. For me, I was too embarrassed to talk about the kinds of music, shows, and movies I liked because they weren't always the "popular" choices. But since starting college, I've learned to embrace the media that I like and to be open about it. I would rather be happy talking about what I like than feel shut down and repressed. Being enthusiastic about things I love has led me to find communities with shared interests. I stay true to myself by watching what I want, listening to what I want, being attracted to whoever I want, and by talking about what I want. This has helped me feel more relaxed and has led me to find many friends as well as find a lot of new interests I never would have found without the people I now share myself with. Mainstream or "mature" does not always mean better. Passion is better than conformity.