“All alone.” These words have been plastered to the walls of lives like mine and many children. I've come to see that this is how lots of children describe their battle with depression. At 12, I started to feel the same. I struggled to make friends, keep my grades up, and with my parents' recent divorce things were far from peaceful at home. Growing tired of dealing with my daily hardships, something arose inside me. An unfamiliar voice telling me just to give up, and that my life was meaningless. I listened to that voice and stopped trying at everything and went mute for nearly a year. Throughout that time I sat idle in my mind, letting those voices control and tear me down until I had no will to do anything. Only thinking, “What happened to me? Will I ever be free from this?” Until one day I talked with a friend who declared he felt the same. I’d never wanted to comfort and empathize with someone so desperately. I began to fight the negative voices in my head in hopes of finding the words to help him. But, I couldn’t find them and the next time I saw him was on a suicide-prevention poster. Thenceforward, I refused to allow myself to be a victim of the voices and negative emotions that plagued me. I started researching and speaking with many emotional intelligence leaders in my community about my experiences and discovered depression, mental health, and its importance, especially in children. Leaving me with only one question: “Why didn’t anyone help me?” I asked my family and was constantly met with, “We didn’t realize,” or “We were afraid.” I’ve reflected on this experience so much since and it’s helped me realize who I want to be, my passion, and how I want to impact the world through education. I want to study psychology to learn how we form mental illness, warning signs, and how we can help others, and use this information to develop new methods of improving the way we identify mental health disorders as a health professional and support others through their times of need. This is why this scholarship would support me in doing so by allowing me to focus on my goals instead of my financial burden. I believe that I can make a huge impact on the lives of every patient I see by considering their physical health and the health of their minds so I can help them receive all the care they truly need. Using my findings to reconstruct our education system into one that focuses more heavily on the mental health of students and families. I’m working towards being a figure that children can look up to for future inspiration and guidance on their journeys. I want to take action and for others to as well so I’ll share my discoveries with the world so that one day no child will be left to feel “all alone.”

“All alone.” These words have been plastered to the walls of lives like mine and many children. I've come to see that this is how lots of children describe their battle with depression. At 12, I started to feel the same. I struggled to make friends, keep my grades up, and with my parents' recent divorce things were far from peaceful at home. Growing tired of dealing with my hardships every day, one day something arose inside me. An unfamiliar voice told me to give up, and that my life was meaningless. I listened to that voice, stopped trying at everything, and went mute for nearly a year. Throughout that time I sat idle in my mind, letting those voices control and tear me down until I had no will to do anything. Only thinking, “What happened to me? Will I ever be free from this?”Until one day I talked with a friend who declared he felt the same. I’d never wanted to comfort and empathize with someone so desperately. I began to fight the negative voices in my head hoping to find the words to help him. But, I couldn’t find them and the next time I saw him was on a suicide-prevention poster. Thenceforward, I refused to allow myself to be a victim of the voices and negative emotions that plagued me. I started researching and speaking with many emotional intelligence leaders in my community about my experiences and discovered depression, mental health, and its importance, especially in children. Leaving me with only one question: “Why didn’t anyone help me?” I asked my family and was constantly met with, “We didn’t realize,” or “We were afraid.” This experience has taught me how I want to leave an impact on the world. I want to go to college to study in mental health programs to learn how we form mental illness, warning signs, how we can help others, and use this information to develop new methods of improving the way we identify mental health disorders as a health professional. I believe that I can make a huge impact on the lives of every patient I see by not just considering their physical health, but the health of their mind so I can help them receive all the care they truly need. I want to take action and for others to as well so I’ll share my discoveries with the world so that one day no child will feel “All Alone.”

All alone. These words have been plastered to the walls of the lives of many children. To watch the world through a barrier. Watch children play, adults walk and talk past, peers thrive in boisterous, loud classrooms. Unable to reach out and join in. Unable to call out because no one will hear your voice. I've come to see that this is how lots of children view their battle with depression. At the age of 12, I started to have the feeling too. I struggled to make friends and keep my grades up, and my situation at home was far from peaceful. I grew tired of having to get up every day and deal with my hardships. All of this suffering piled on me until an unfamiliar voice developed inside me and told me that I should give up, to be silent, and that my life was meaningless. Unfortunately, I listened to that voice and gave up in school, stopped trying to make friends or make things better at home, and went mute for nearly 2 years. Throughout that time I sat idle in my mind, letting those voices control me and tear me down until I had no will to do even something as simple as get out of bed. No matter how much I wanted out of the captivity of my mind. That was until I had a small interaction with an old friend who was going through something similar. One day among the voices, I made out the sound of a friend known for his smile now crying in front of me. Declaring that he felt he could no longer continue with his battle. I’d never wanted to reach out to someone so desperately and fought my voices that told me there was nothing I could do for him and continually degraded. In hopes of being able to reach him, but not in time. The next time I saw my friend was on a suicide prevention poster in school. Nearly 45% of children commit suicide in a year in North Carolina. Nearly 20% in the US. The memories of my friend was just the inspiration I needed to fight my depression and find my passion for helping other children fight their battles with depression. I started talking more with my fellow youth who confirmed that these feelings of being alone were real and common amongst us. Which gave me an even bigger desire to to win my battle and help others win theirs. I started to teaching my self more about the wonders of mental health and wrote down all my experiences with depression. And from there I started to teach others my findings. Anyone who would listen I would teach them all I could and have them talk as well until I could then begin the battle of defeating their depression, which was the start of my non profit “Heal Before Hurt”. My goal in college is to study the way mental health affects all of us and teach my findings to families all over so no other child has to feel "All Alone".