In my opinion, the best movie of all time is The Breakfast Club, directed by John Hughes. Although at the first watch it seems like a comedic take on various high school stereotypes, when sitting down and inspecting the character development carefully, it becomes evident that the film is actually refusing the exact stereotypes that it portrays. In fact, in Brian’s essay that is narrated over the closing scenes, he describes that the 5 students sentenced to detention that day were so much more than society labeled them as. Brian ridiculed the school administration for being so blind to the potential of all students while only viewing them as offensive stigmas. The Breakfast Club inspires its audience to remember that people are never to be judged by appearances, or even first impressions. It also encourages everyone to fight against stereotypes, because life is too short and too wild to attempt to fit into any mold. After all, it’s your own life; why let someone else determine how you live it?

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is this outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they mend fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether than be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. I would like to see local communities take individual steps to improve the ecological footprint that we are leaving behind, whether or not the state mandates it. In recent years, California passed a law stating that all new homes must be built with solar panels in an effort to promote the usage of clean energy. But what if all buildings followed this example? How much could we reduce the use of fossil fuels by making solar power easily attainable? Unfortunately, the true answer to this question can only be found when we give it a shot. It is a risk, but it is a risk worth taking. The worst possible outcome would be an increase in corporate overhead that businesses need to make up to maintain their economic status, but solar energy is not known to be a failure. Many people argue that it is unreasonable in certain areas due to a cloudy climate; however, sunlight still beams through the clouds, hence the ability of humans to get sunburnt on cloudy days. While the absorption of energy may not be as high in Washington State as in California, it is an absorption of energy all the same, and could still successfully reduce the usage of fossil fuels. In my community, I am a very vocal advocate for sustainable living. I encourage those around me to use less single-use plastics, ensure that the food they eat is responsibly sourced, locally farmed, or fair trade, and to live an environmentally friendly lifestyle every chance they get. I have taken several courses during my high school career to educate myself on this topic, such as BioMedical Science, AP Biology, AP Human Geography, and AP Environmental Science, and if I have learned anything at all from each of these classes, it’s that sustainable living is not nearly as farfetched as many politicians would like you to believe. I am proud of our government for taking more steps to ensure the safety of our biodiversity in recent decades, but there is still so much more that we would be doing, and it all starts with you.

I have struggled with severe anxiety from the day that I was born. A rough and early delivery resulted in me being rushed into an incubator rather than into my mother’s arms. I was a newborn, freshly brought into this beautiful world, and rather than love and warmth, the first thing I ever felt was trauma and breathing tubes. Only a few years later, I was a toddler living through the divorce of her parents. Within the next four years, I was a seven-year-old pushing my way through another divorce between her mother and stepfather. Two years after that, one of my older brothers was moving 6 hours away to college, and one of my other older brothers was getting married and starting a family of his own. In only nine years, everything that I knew was becoming more and more jumbled, and my emotions were understandably following suit. In elementary school, I was pinned down and choked nearly to the point of blacking out during recess. In middle school, I was sexually assaulted in the middle of my first-period class. During my sophomore year, I was stalked and ended up on a hit list by another student planning to shoot up my school; a 10-month long process of court dates, trials, restraining orders, and PTSD followed. In the middle of that mess, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. I started therapy and I clung to my mom, panicking every time she left for work. I stayed home from school about once a month when the thought of getting out of bed would result in choking sobs and hyperventilation. When quarantine started, I had no idea if I would make it out alive. The entire concept of not knowing when I would be able to leave my house or if life would ever be normal again made me nauseous and dizzy. The only thing that I was sure of was that I was sick of feeling this way. I hated having no control over my emotions or responses to nearly every situation thrown at me. Everyone I knew gushed that I was so strong for surviving everything I had been through, so why did I feel so weak for panicking all the time? When an anxiety attack would occur, I would always get mad at myself for it afterward. I knew that I wanted to get better, and that meant putting time and effort into myself above all else. I have realized my passion for science and environmental studies. The ocean has evolved from being a place where I feel most calm, to being a place that I feel responsible for saving. I still believe in God, and I have witnessed how he has used my story and experiences to help guide others through their own struggles. I am currently in the process of writing a book, and I am so excited to tell my story and help others understand that they are never alone. Living with anxiety is difficult, and it is still a daily struggle to have control over my emotions, and think with my head rather than with my hormones, but I am so much happier than I have ever been, and I cannot wait to see where life takes me.

Since the day I was born, my mother has been making unspeakable amounts of sacrifices to ensure my safety and comfort. I was never an easy child, especially considered I’ve been riddled with severe anxiety since the moment I came out of the womb. I needed her to be everywhere with me, even if my dad or brothers were there. I only ever wanted my mom. However, I never fully understood how much she loved me until last year. It was my sophomore year of high school. I was about to enter a trial regarding charges being pressed against a student who had stalked me, threatened my life, physically assaulted me, and made plans to shoot up my high school, with my name at the top of his written-down hit list. I had given my statement to my school’s on-campus officer, and they told me that my mom would get an official letter in the mail as a courtesy. I didn’t think much of it, as I had already informed her about everything, and she was the one who encouraged me to step forward and alert the authorities. But man, the day that letter came? I’ve never seen such a strong woman look so small and broken. It gives me chills whenever I think about it. I remember thinking that one of my grandparents had died. I walked into the house to see her sitting at the dining room table, shaking and crying with a piece of paper in her hands. “What’s wrong momma?” I walked over to where she was sitting. “Keik, I knew what was going on. But god, it’s so different. It’s so so different.” “What do you mean, what’s different?” She stood up and grabbed me so tight it felt like I couldn’t breathe. “When you get a letter in the mail saying that you have to go to trial because someone wanted to take your daughter’s life away from you forever.” She started crying, and I did too quickly after. I had been so scared about everything that I hadn’t even stopped to consider how she must feel about all of this. Of course, I was scared. I mean, someone had threatened to strangle me in my sleep. But as a parent, having to face your worst fear of losing a child without so much as flinching? Having to put up a facade and be strong because you know how scared your child is, even though you are equally terrified? That day was the moment I realized just how much my mother loved me and is willing to literally face down her worst nightmare just so that I don’t have to face down mine.

I had a lot of expectations for how the new schoolyear would turn out. All of them were wrong. During the second week of September 2019, one of the boys in my French class started acting very different. His jokes were no longer funny but were filled with odd, threatening statements. “Have you ever thought about shooting up the school?” “Have you ever thought about bombing the school?” “I wanna kill ******. I hate him so much.” “When I turn 18 [in December], I am going to buy a gun.” I told myself to just stay on his good side, offering him paper or pencils when he needed them, helping him with his work, and cracking the occasional joke. Until... “Do you want to die? I will come to your house while you’re sleeping and strangle you to death.” How do you even respond to something like that? Especially when you can see it’s not a joke? After that day I barely ate; I woke up at 3 every morning having night terrors; my mom had to rock me to sleep; I felt like I was being followed; I was constantly shaking; I missed school; I couldn’t go anywhere alone; going out at night was unthinkable. While struggling with these symptoms, the issues with this boy kept getting worse. He would follow me around school; he threw a box at my head; he slapped me; he tried to grab me. I finally decided to report everything on September 27th. I didn’t think it would go anywhere, based on my previous experiences with public school administration. The next thing I know, I was being sat down and told that I would have to talk to the police. After that, I was being told that it was now an official investigation. I could not talk to anyone outside of my immediate family. The next 10 months were hell. I started going to therapy immediately in an attempt to lessen my stress and anxiety, considering harmless pranks that my friends would play on me would send me into a heaving panic attack leading to a black-out. In November, I gave two more statements and continued to miss more school. We were informed that evidence had been found regarding the truth of that boy’s threats, including a plan to shoot up my high school, and a hit list with my name on it. In December, I watched my mom, the strongest person I know, crumble into messy sobs as she read a letter from the district attorney saying that my case was going to trial because someone had the intention to take her daughter’s life away. The first court date wasn’t even until January 29th. When I finally set foot into that courtroom, I had to sit 3 feet directly behind the boy who wanted to murder me. I listened as the conditions of my restraining order were misread and misfiled...3 different times. In March, the second day of the trial took place, and nothing happened. After that, quarantine started, delaying the third court date for two months. Talk about unprofessional. Every single day, I woke up pleading with God for it to be over. I honestly thought that it would never end. But then I realized that this boy did not need harsh discipline. He needed help. I realized that when you don’t forgive someone, you're telling them that there is nothing worth remembering about them except for how they hurt you. I didn’t want him to be remembered like that. On July 1, 2020, we were notified that he had been charged. It was over. I immediately wrote him a letter explaining that I forgave him and that I hope he knows that he is loved. Recently, I screened positive for severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Insanely, I wasn’t upset. Life is not something that we live for ourselves. Life is a blessing given to us so that we can, in turn, bless others. I have a story to share; one that’s full of growth, forgiveness, faith, love, and hope. As long as it went on, my pain did eventually end, and that is what I choose to remember about my experiences. A legacy is something you leave behind. It is the memories and stories that other people share about you when you’re gone. I don’t want my legacy to be the pain I went through. I want my legacy to be the love I continued to share no matter the cost.

Roxanne Marie Brown, single mother of 6 children, two of which miscarried, one of which is me. If I had to choose to strive to be like one person, I would choose her in a heartbeat. The grace that my mother handles everything with astounds me. She somehow manages to fight off the world for her children every single day, slaying every monster that we cannot even see before it consumes us. Her shield of protection has been ever-present, no matter how exhausted she gets. My mother has navigated the struggles of poverty, famine, divorce, and cheating while keeping her children completely oblivious for years. She never muddies the reputation of others, no matter how poorly they treat her, and she rarely complains about the difficulties of life. My mom has shown me what it means to live life to the fullest. She doesn’t care about what happened in the past, but rather wakes up every morning excited for what lies ahead. She encourages everyone around her to be the best version of themselves that they can be, and sacrifices so many of her desires so that she can serve as many people as possible how they need. She showed me what it looks like to forgive but not forget, how to put up my personal boundaries, and how to work hard to achieve my goals. My mother preaches to live as much like Jesus Christ as we can, and she lives by example. Roxanne has taught me how to be grateful for what I have, and to appreciate every fleeting moment because you never know if or when another one like it will happen. I learned how to listen to what others have to say, because you may be the only person that they can talk to. I learned that working in a team almost never comes easy, but it is so important because everybody has a unique perspective to offer to a project. I began planning for college and careers very early in my life, staying true to my thoroughly ambitious nature. I never worried about my ability to meet a goal, because my mom always encouraged me that my dedication and work ethic will take me to incredible places. Now moving forward, I know that all of my accomplishments, I owe in part to my mom. Her sacrifices ensured that I would have everything I need to get to wherever I want to go. Her working roughly 55 hour weeks just so that I could have financial access to things like AP exams, field trips, extracurricular activities, and other education opportunities drove me to work even harder so that one day, I can treat her just as well as she has treated me. I grew up knowing that I truly can get my dream job, and I have my mother’s full support and encouragement no matter what happens. I always had her ear, her heart, and her helping hands. For that, I could never be more grateful. Should I become financially able as an adult, I would like to do something incredible for her in return for everything she has done for me.

Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. While this obviously isn’t the first time a mass extinction has happened, it is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. As previously stated, there is not exactly a feasible way to undo what has already been done. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end to the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. Now imagine that the world I just described does not have to be nearly as unattainable as so many people think. I plan on going to school at UCSB, and going as far as getting my Master’s in Environmental Science and Management, followed by my Ph.D. emphasis in Environment and Society. I’ve already learned so much about the world and how I can help in the classes I’ve taken so far in high school, but I can’t help but be hungry for more. I can’t rely on everyone else to take responsibility for their impact on the environment, but I can try and get the word out. So with the little time I have on Earth, that’s what I will do.

I had a lot of expectations for how the new schoolyear would turn out. All of them were wrong. During the second week of September 2019, one of the boys in my French class started acting very different. His jokes were no longer funny but were filled with odd, threatening statements. “Have you ever thought about shooting up the school?” “Have you ever thought about bombing the school?” “I wanna kill ******. I hate him so much.” “When I turn 18 [in December], I am going to buy a gun.” I told myself to just stay on his good side, offering him paper or pencils when he needed them, helping him with his work, and cracking the occasional joke. Until... “Do you want to die? I will come to your house while you’re sleeping and strangle you to death.” How do you even respond to something like that? Especially when you can see it’s not a joke? After that day I barely ate; I woke up at 3 every morning having night terrors; my mom had to rock me to sleep; I felt like I was being followed; I was constantly shaking; I missed school; I couldn’t go anywhere alone; going out at night was unthinkable. While struggling with these symptoms, the issues with this boy kept getting worse. He would follow me around school; he threw a box at my head; he slapped me; he tried to grab me. I finally decided to report everything on September 27th. I didn’t think it would go anywhere, based on my previous experiences with public school administration. The next thing I know, I was being sat down and told that I would have to talk to the police. After that, I was being told that it was now an official investigation. I could not talk to anyone outside of my immediate family. The next 10 months were hell. I started going to therapy immediately in an attempt to lessen my stress and anxiety, considering harmless pranks that my friends would play on me would send me into a heaving panic attack leading to a black-out. In November, I gave two more statements and continued to miss more school. We were informed that evidence had been found regarding the truth of that boy’s threats, including a plan to shoot up my high school, and a hit list with my name on it. In December, I watched my mom, the strongest person I know, crumble into messy sobs as she read a letter from the district attorney saying that my case was going to trial because someone had the intention to take her daughter’s life away. The first court date wasn’t even until January 29th. When I finally set foot into that courtroom, I had to sit 3 feet directly behind the boy who wanted to murder me. I listened as the conditions of my restraining order were misread and misfiled...3 different times. In March, the second day of the trial took place, and nothing happened. After that, quarantine started, delaying the third court date for two months. Talk about unprofessional. Every single day, I woke up pleading with God for it to be over. I honestly thought that it would never end. But then I realized that this boy did not need harsh discipline. He needed help. I realized that when you don’t forgive someone, you're telling them that there is nothing worth remembering about them except for how they hurt you. I didn’t want him to be remembered like that. On July 1, 2020, we were notified that he had been charged. It was over. I immediately wrote him a letter explaining that I forgave him and that I hope he knows that he is loved. Recently, I screened positive for severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Insanely, I wasn’t upset. Life is not something that we live for ourselves. Life is a blessing given to us so that we can, in turn, bless others. I have a story to share; one that’s full of growth, forgiveness, faith, love, and hope. As long as it went on, my pain did eventually end, and that is what I choose to remember about my experiences. A legacy is something you leave behind. It is the memories and stories that other people share about you when you’re gone. I don’t want my legacy to be the pain I went through. I want my legacy to be the love I continued to share no matter the cost.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is the outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they may fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether that be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end to the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. Now imagine that the world I just described does not have to be nearly as unattainable as so many people think. I plan on going to school at UCSB, and going as far as getting my Master’s in Environmental Science and Management, followed by my Ph.D. emphasis in Environment and Society. I’ve already learned so much about the world and how I can help in the classes I’ve taken so far in high school, but I can’t help but be hungry for more. I can’t rely on everyone else to take responsibility for their impact on the environment, but I can try and get the word out. So with the little time I have on Earth, that’s what I will do.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is the outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they may fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether that be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. The rapid increase of deforestation rates in order to provide humans with resources and make way for population growth is leading to high levels of ecosystemic imbalance and eventual destruction that is going too far to be reversed. For instance, the Amazon rainforest in Brazil has existed for thousands of years, yet within the last 50 years, humans have destroyed nearly ⅕ of it in order to allow open space for cattle ranching. While cattle ranching is important for the economy as well as access to food, the Amazon houses the highest levels of natural biodiversity on the planet, and it’s a hotspot that we cannot afford to lose. By cutting one strand of this delicate ecological web that we can see, the rest of it will begin to quickly untangle. Cutting down 20% of the rainforest equates to organisms losing their habitats and food sources, which then leads to the endangerment of these species, and in turn, causes the destruction of even more rainforest area due to lack of pollination, nitrogen cycling, high levels of carbon dioxide, etc. This would mean less food, building materials, and access to clean air or water for humans. By endangering species that coexist with us, we end up endangering ourselves as well. Charities such as the World Wildlife Foundation have successfully raised public awareness and funding to stop, or at least slow, the endangerment of species around the world with methods including widespread education, the option to “adopt” a wild animal, and hosting fundraising events. While these steps are good and have been effective thus far, we as a race need to do more. Rather than attempt to reverse what we have already done, our focus should shift to preventative maintenance in order to halt the extinction of any more species. By definition, when a species goes genetically extinct, there is no physical way to bring them back. Their DNA has been totally lost from the planet, and cannot, with current science and technology, be reproduced or integrated into another organism in order to replicate the extinct organisms. So, rather than focus on what we cannot change, a more meaningful approach could be using the idea of genetic extinction to spread awareness in order to prevent more from happening. Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. While this obviously isn’t the first time a mass extinction has happened, it is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. As previously stated, there is not exactly a feasible way to undo what has already been done. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end to the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. Now imagine that the world I just described does not have to be nearly as unattainable as so many people think. I plan on going to school at UCSB, and going as far as getting my Master’s in Environmental Science and Management, followed by my Ph.D. emphasis in Environment and Society. I’ve already learned so much about the world and how I can help in the classes I’ve taken so far in high school, but I can’t help but be hungry for more. I can’t rely on everyone else to take responsibility for their impact on the environment, but I can try and get the word out. So with the little time I have on Earth, that’s what I will do.

I had a lot of expectations for how the new schoolyear would turn out. All of them were wrong. During the second week of September 2019, one of the boys in my French class started acting very different. His jokes were no longer funny but were filled with odd, threatening statements. “Have you ever thought about shooting up the school?” “Have you ever thought about bombing the school?” “I wanna kill ******. I hate him so much.” “When I turn 18 [in December], I am going to buy a gun.” I tried not to think much of them; after all, he was a high school senior born into one of the most nihilistic generations in history. I told myself to just stay on his good side, offering him paper or pencils when he needed them, helping him with his work, and cracking the occasional joke. One instance, however, made it clear that being on his “good side” was not enough. “Do you want to die? I will come to your house while you’re sleeping and strangle you to death.” I froze. How do you even respond to something like that? Especially when you can how serious the speaker is? That’s when the symptoms began. I’ve struggled with chronic diagnosed anxiety since I was born, but never like this. I barely ate; I woke up at 3 AM every day having night terrors; I, a 15-year-old high school student, had to sleep in my mom’s bed while she rocked me to sleep; I felt like I was being followed everywhere; I was constantly shaking; I missed days of school; I couldn’t go anywhere alone; going out at night was unthinkable. While already struggling with these symptoms, the issues with this boy kept getting worse. He would follow me around the school; he threw a box at my head; he slapped me; he tried to grab me. Nowhere felt safe anymore. I finally decided to report everything on September 27th. I didn’t think it would go anywhere, based on my previous experiences with public school administration. The next thing I know, I was being sat down and told that I would have to talk to the police. After that, I was being told that it was now an official investigation. I could not talk to anyone outside of my immediate family about what was going on. The next 10 months were hell, if I may say so. I started going to therapy immediately in an attempt to lessen my stress and anxiety, considering harmless pranks that my friends would play on me would send me into a heaving panic attack leading to a black-out. In November, I had to give two more statements about everything that happened to me, meaning I continued to miss more school. We were officially informed that evidence had been found regarding the truth of that boy’s threats, including a plan to shoot up my high school, and a hit list with my name on it. In December, I watched my mom, the strongest person I know, crumble into messy sobs as she listened to a voicemail from the district attorney saying that my case was going to trial because someone had the intention to take her daughter’s life away. The first court date wasn’t even until January 29th. When I finally set foot into that courtroom, I had to sit 3 feet directly behind the boy who wanted to murder me. I listened as the conditions of my restraining order against him were announced to the court. Then over the next two weeks, I had to deal with the complications of that same restraining order being filed incorrectly 3 different times. In March, the second day of the trial took place, and nothing happened. After that, quarantine started, delaying the third court date for two months. Every single day, I woke up pleading with God for it to be over. I honestly thought that it would never end. That same month was when my perspective on life changed. My memories shifted from him saying “I will strangle you,” to a different, more common phrase of his: “My parents hate me. I’m such a disappointment.” My heart shattered when I realized this boy did not need harsh discipline. He needed help. He needed love. I realized that when you don’t forgive someone, you're telling them that there is nothing worth remembering about them except for how they hurt you. I didn’t want him to be remembered like that. On July 1, 2020, we were officially notified that he had been charged and that the case was over. The very first thing I did was write a letter that I had his probation officer read to him. In it, I explained that I forgave him and that I hope he knows that he is loved. Recently, I screened positive for severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Insanely, I wasn’t upset. You see, life is not something that we live for ourselves. Life is a blessing given to us so that we can, in turn, bless others. I have a story to share; one that’s full of growth, forgiveness, faith, love, and hope. As long as it went on, my pain did eventually end, and that is what I choose to remember about my experiences. I have goals. There are things that need to be done to improve our planet and our society. There are people that need love, and I know now that I have so much love to offer. I am currently in the process of writing a book, which gives a much more detailed version of this story. I think putting everything out there helps others feel as though someone understands, and when I was in the thick of it, unable to talk to anybody, that is what I needed the most: to be seen, heard, and loved. Therefore, I aspire to see, hear, and love as many people as I can.

I have struggled with severe anxiety from the day that I was born. A rough and early delivery resulted in me being rushed into an incubator rather than into my mother’s arms. I was a newborn, freshly brought into this beautiful world, and rather than love and warmth, the first thing I ever felt was trauma and breathing tubes. Only a few years later, I was a toddler living through the divorce of her parents. Within the next four years, I was a seven-year-old pushing my way through another divorce between her mother and stepfather. Two years after that, one of my older brothers was moving 6 hours away to college, and one of my other older brothers was getting married and starting a family of his own. In only nine years, everything that I knew was becoming more and more jumbled, and my emotions were understandably following suit. In elementary school, I was pinned down and choked nearly to the point of blacking out during recess. In middle school, I was sexually assaulted in the middle of my first-period class. During my sophomore year, I was stalked and ended up on a hit list by another student planning to shoot up my school; a 10-month long process of court dates, trials, restraining orders, and PTSD followed. In the middle of that mess, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. I started therapy and I clung to my mom, panicking every time she left for work. I stayed home from school about once a month when the thought of getting out of bed would result in choking sobs and hyperventilation. When quarantine started, I had no idea if I would make it out alive. The entire concept of not knowing when I would be able to leave my house or if life would ever be normal again made me nauseous and dizzy. The only thing that I was sure of was that I was sick of feeling this way. I hated having no control over my emotions or responses to nearly every situation thrown at me. Everyone I knew gushed that I was so strong for surviving everything I had been through, so why did I feel so weak for panicking all the time? When an anxiety attack would occur, I would always get mad at myself for it afterward. I knew that I wanted to get better, and that meant putting time and effort into myself above all else. I’ve been meeting with my therapist for over a year now, and have worked incredibly hard to heal and better understand my brain and its responses. Using techniques like EMDR [eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing] I have recounted my most traumatic memories and let go of the grip they once had over me. My anxiety has decreased dramatically, and I haven’t had a panic attack in months. But most importantly, I love myself and those around me so much more. My relationship with my mom has grown from a sense of dependency on her to a deep friendship. We tell each other everything, and I always feel safe being honest with her. I have realized my passion for science and environmental studies. The ocean has evolved from being a place where I feel most calm, to being a place that I feel responsible for saving. I still believe in God, and I have witnessed how he has used my story and experiences to help guide others through their own struggles. I am currently in the process of writing a book, and I am so excited to tell my story and help others understand that they are never alone. Living with anxiety is difficult, and it is still a daily struggle to have control over my emotions, and think with my head rather than with my hormones, but I am so much happier than I have ever been, and I cannot wait to see where life takes me.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is the outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they may fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether that be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. The rapid increase of deforestation rates in order to provide humans with resources and make way for population growth is leading to high levels of ecosystemic imbalance and eventual destruction that is going too far to be reversed. For instance, the Amazon rainforest in Brazil has existed for thousands of years, yet within the last 50 years, humans have destroyed nearly ⅕ of it in order to allow open space for cattle ranching. While cattle ranching is important for the economy as well as access to food, the Amazon houses the highest levels of natural biodiversity on the planet, and it’s a hotspot that we cannot afford to lose. By cutting one strand of this delicate ecological web that we can see, the rest of it will begin to quickly untangle. Cutting down 20% of the rainforest equates to organisms losing their habitats and food sources, which then leads to the endangerment of these species, and in turn, causes the destruction of even more rainforest area due to lack of pollination, nitrogen cycling, high levels of carbon dioxide, etc. This would mean less food, building materials, and access to clean air or water for humans. By endangering species that coexist with us, we end up endangering ourselves as well. Charities such as the World Wildlife Foundation have successfully raised public awareness and funding to stop, or at least slow, the endangerment of species around the world with methods including widespread education, the option to “adopt” a wild animal, and hosting fundraising events. While these steps are good and have been effective thus far, we as a race need to do more. Rather than attempt to reverse what we have already done, our focus should shift to preventative maintenance in order to halt the extinction of any more species. By definition, when a species goes genetically extinct, there is no physical way to bring them back. Their DNA has been totally lost from the planet, and cannot, with current science and technology, be reproduced or integrated into another organism in order to replicate the extinct organisms. So, rather than focus on what we cannot change, a more meaningful approach could be using the idea of genetic extinction to spread awareness in order to prevent more from happening. Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. While this obviously isn’t the first time a mass extinction has happened, it is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. As previously stated, there is not exactly a feasible way to undo what has already been done. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end to the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. Now imagine that the world I just described does not have to be nearly as unattainable as so many people think. I plan on going to school at UCSB, and going as far as getting my Master’s in Environmental Science and Management, followed by my Ph.D. emphasis in Environment and Society. I’ve already learned so much about the world and how I can help in the classes I’ve taken so far in high school, but I can’t help but be hungry for more. I can’t rely on everyone else to take responsibility for their impact on the environment, but I can try and get the word out. So with the little time I have on Earth, that’s what I will do.

I had a lot of expectations for how the new schoolyear would turn out. All of them were wrong. During the second week of September 2019, one of the boys in my French class started acting very different. His jokes were no longer funny but were filled with odd, threatening statements. “Have you ever thought about shooting up the school?” “Have you ever thought about bombing the school?” “I wanna kill ******. I hate him so much.” “When I turn 18 [in December], I am going to buy a gun.” I told myself to just stay on his good side, offering him paper or pencils when he needed them, helping him with his work, and cracking the occasional joke. Until... “Do you want to die? I will come to your house while you’re sleeping and strangle you to death.” How do you even respond to something like that? Especially when you can see it’s not a joke? After that day I barely ate; I woke up at 3 every morning having night terrors; my mom had to rock me to sleep; I felt like I was being followed; I was constantly shaking; I missed school; I couldn’t go anywhere alone; going out at night was unthinkable. While struggling with these symptoms, the issues with this boy kept getting worse. He would follow me around school; he threw a box at my head; he slapped me; he tried to grab me. I finally decided to report everything on September 27th. I didn’t think it would go anywhere, based on my previous experiences with public school administration. The next thing I know, I was being sat down and told that I would have to talk to the police. After that, I was being told that it was now an official investigation. I could not talk to anyone outside of my immediate family. The next 10 months were hell. I started going to therapy immediately in an attempt to lessen my stress and anxiety, considering harmless pranks that my friends would play on me would send me into a heaving panic attack leading to a black-out. In November, I gave two more statements and continued to miss more school. We were informed that evidence had been found regarding the truth of that boy’s threats, including a plan to shoot up my high school, and a hit list with my name on it. In December, I watched my mom, the strongest person I know, crumble into messy sobs as she read a letter from the district attorney saying that my case was going to trial because someone had the intention to take her daughter’s life away. The first court date wasn’t even until January 29th. When I finally set foot into that courtroom, I had to sit 3 feet directly behind the boy who wanted to murder me. I listened as the conditions of my restraining order were misread and misfiled...3 different times. In March, the second day of the trial took place, and nothing happened. After that, quarantine started, delaying the third court date for two months. Talk about unprofessional. Every single day, I woke up pleading with God for it to be over. I honestly thought that it would never end. But then I realized that this boy did not need harsh discipline. He needed help. I realized that when you don’t forgive someone, you're telling them that there is nothing worth remembering about them except for how they hurt you. I didn’t want him to be remembered like that. On July 1, 2020, we were notified that he had been charged. It was over. I immediately wrote him a letter explaining that I forgave him and that I hope he knows that he is loved. Recently, I screened positive for severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Insanely, I wasn’t upset. Life is not something that we live for ourselves. Life is a blessing given to us so that we can, in turn, bless others. I have a story to share; one that’s full of growth, forgiveness, faith, love, and hope. As long as it went on, my pain did eventually end, and that is what I choose to remember about my experiences. A legacy is something you leave behind. It is the memories and stories that other people share about you when you’re gone. I don’t want my legacy to be the pain I went through. I want my legacy to be the love I continued to share no matter the cost.

“‘What if I fall?’ ‘Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?’” Growing up, I had this quote pasted all over my room, saved to my camera roll, and posted as my lock screen on my phone. It was everything to me. When I started school, I immediately excelled in all of my classes and quickly became known as the poster child of “teachers’ pets”. I could never do anything wrong, and never got anything less than an A. Ever. What was once just me being myself eventually flourished into a toxic desire to be perfect. I felt as though I could never do anything wrong out of fear of disappointing the same teachers who would pull me to the front of the classroom and tell all the other students to “just be like her.” This mindset that I could not afford to fail was conjoined with my drive to challenge myself like an unfortunate yin and yang. This oxymoron of my brain served as a consistent internal battle; I could not take the easy way out, because that would fail to meet other people’s expectations that I am the smartest and the best; however, if I challenged myself and took a difficult class, it was vital that I understand everything right away and got it first try. I was not allowed to fail. Eventually, I got so tired of being constantly afraid that I just gave up. It took me failing every single AP Calculus exam I ever took to realize that I wasn’t letting people down by doing so. My parents did not care about my grades, because they knew I was trying my best. No one made fun of me, or tormented me, or hated me; if anything, my consistent, repetitive failure made me more relatable to my peers that my drive for perfectionism ever did. Taking risks is terrifying, especially when you are wary of disappointing other people. But the faster you realize that great things can come from challenging situations regardless of whether or not you fail, you can be freed from the bonds of perfectionism. And let me tell you, it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is the outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they may fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether that be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. The rapid increase of deforestation rates in order to provide humans with resources and make way for population growth is leading to high levels of ecosystemic imbalance and eventual destruction that is going too far to be reversed. For instance, the Amazon rainforest in Brazil has existed for thousands of years, yet within the last 50 years, humans have destroyed nearly ⅕ of it in order to allow open space for cattle ranching. While cattle ranching is important for the economy as well as access to food, the Amazon houses the highest levels of natural biodiversity on the planet, and it’s a hotspot that we cannot afford to lose. By cutting one strand of this delicate ecological web that we can see, the rest of it will begin to quickly untangle. Cutting down 20% of the rainforest equates to organisms losing their habitats and food sources, which then leads to the endangerment of these species, and in turn, causes the destruction of even more rainforest area due to lack of pollination, nitrogen cycling, high levels of carbon dioxide, etc. This would mean less food, building materials, and access to clean air or water for humans. By endangering species that coexist with us, we end up endangering ourselves as well. Charities such as the World Wildlife Foundation have successfully raised public awareness and funding to stop, or at least slow, the endangerment of species around the world with methods including widespread education, the option to “adopt” a wild animal, and hosting fundraising events. While these steps are good and have been effective thus far, we as a race need to do more. Rather than attempt to reverse what we have already done, our focus should shift to preventative maintenance in order to halt the extinction of any more species. By definition, when a species goes genetically extinct, there is no physical way to bring them back. Their DNA has been totally lost from the planet, and cannot, with current science and technology, be reproduced or integrated into another organism in order to replicate the extinct organisms. So, rather than focus on what we cannot change, a more meaningful approach could be using the idea of genetic extinction to spread awareness in order to prevent more from happening. Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. While this obviously isn’t the first time a mass extinction has happened, it is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. As previously stated, there is not exactly a feasible way to undo what has already been done. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end to the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. Now imagine that the world I just described does not have to be nearly as unattainable as so many people think. I plan on going to school at UCSB, and going as far as getting my Master’s in Environmental Science and Management, followed by my Ph.D. emphasis in Environment and Society. I’ve already learned so much about the world and how I can help in the classes I’ve taken so far in high school, but I can’t help but be hungry for more. I can’t rely on everyone else to take responsibility for their impact on the environment, but I can try and get the word out. So with the little time I have on Earth, that’s what I will do.

I have struggled with severe anxiety from the day that I was born. A rough and early delivery resulted in me being rushed into an incubator rather than into my mother’s arms. I was a newborn, freshly brought into this beautiful world, and rather than love and warmth, the first thing I ever felt was trauma and breathing tubes. Only a few years later, I was a toddler living through the divorce of her parents. Within the next four years, I was a seven-year-old pushing my way through another divorce between her mother and stepfather. Two years after that, one of my older brothers was moving 6 hours away to college, and one of my other older brothers was getting married and starting a family of his own. In only nine years, everything that I knew was becoming more and more jumbled, and my emotions were understandably following suit. I’ve been meeting with my therapist for over a year now, and have worked incredibly hard to heal and better understand my brain and its responses. Using techniques like EMDR [eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing] I have recounted my most traumatic memories and let go of the grip they once had over me. My anxiety has decreased dramatically, and I haven’t had a panic attack in weeks. But most importantly, I love myself and those around me so much more. My relationship with my mom has grown from a sense of dependency on her to a deep friendship. I hope to one day write a book and speak to others about my own experiences in order to remind them that they are never alone.

Roxanne Marie Brown, single mother of 6 children, two of which miscarried, one of which is me. If I had to choose to strive to be like one person, I would choose her in a heartbeat. The grace that my mother handles everything with astounds me. She somehow manages to fight off the world for her children every single day, slaying every monster that we cannot even see before it consumes us. Her shield of protection has been ever-present, no matter how exhausted she gets. My mother has navigated the struggles of poverty, famine, divorce, and cheating while keeping her children completely oblivious for years. She never muddies the reputation of others, no matter how poorly they treat her, and she rarely complains about the difficulties of life. My mom has shown me what it means to live life to the fullest. She doesn’t care about what happened in the past, but rather wakes up every morning excited for what lies ahead. She encourages everyone around her to be the best version of themselves that they can be, and sacrifices so many of her desires so that she can serve as many people as possible how they need. She showed me what it looks like to forgive but not forget, how to put up my personal boundaries, and how to work hard to achieve my goals. My mother preaches to live as much like Jesus Christ as we can, and she lives by example. Roxanne has taught me how to be grateful for what I have, and to appreciate every fleeting moment because you never know if or when another one like it will happen. I learned how to listen to what others have to say, because you may be the only person that they can talk to. I learned that working in a team almost never comes easy, but it is so important because everybody has a unique perspective to offer to a project. I began planning for college and careers very early in my life, staying true to my thoroughly ambitious nature. I never worried about my ability to meet a goal, because my mom always encouraged me that my dedication and work ethic will take me to incredible places. Now moving forward, I know that all of my accomplishments, I owe in part to my mom. Her sacrifices ensured that I would have everything I need to get to wherever I want to go. Her working roughly 55 hour weeks just so that I could have financial access to things like AP exams, field trips, extracurricular activities, and other education opportunities drove me to work even harder so that one day, I can treat her just as well as she has treated me. I grew up knowing that I truly can get my dream job, and I have my mother’s full support and encouragement no matter what happens. I always had her ear, her heart, and her helping hands. For that, I could never be more grateful. Should I become financially able as an adult, I would like to do something incredible for her in return for everything she has done for me.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is the outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they may fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether that be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. The rapid increase of deforestation rates in order to provide humans with resources and make way for population growth is leading to high levels of ecosystemic imbalance and eventual destruction that is going too far to be reversed. For instance, the Amazon rainforest in Brazil has existed for thousands of years, yet within the last 50 years, humans have destroyed nearly ⅕ of it in order to allow open space for cattle ranching. While cattle ranching is important for the economy as well as access to food, the Amazon houses the highest levels of natural biodiversity on the planet, and it’s a hotspot that we cannot afford to lose. By cutting one strand of this delicate ecological web that we can see, the rest of it will begin to quickly untangle. Cutting down 20% of the rainforest equates to organisms losing their habitats and food sources, which then leads to the endangerment of these species, and in turn, causes the destruction of even more rainforest area due to lack of pollination, nitrogen cycling, high levels of carbon dioxide, etc. This would mean less food, building materials, and access to clean air or water for humans. By endangering species that coexist with us, we end up endangering ourselves as well. Charities such as the World Wildlife Foundation have successfully raised public awareness and funding to stop, or at least slow, the endangerment of species around the world with methods including widespread education, the option to “adopt” a wild animal, and hosting fundraising events. While these steps are good and have been effective thus far, we as a race need to do more. Rather than attempt to reverse what we have already done, our focus should shift to preventative maintenance in order to halt the extinction of any more species. By definition, when a species goes genetically extinct, there is no physical way to bring them back. Their DNA has been totally lost from the planet, and cannot, with current science and technology, be reproduced or integrated into another organism in order to replicate the extinct organisms. So, rather than focus on what we cannot change, a more meaningful approach could be using the idea of genetic extinction to spread awareness in order to prevent more from happening. Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. While this obviously isn’t the first time a mass extinction has happened, it is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. As previously stated, there is not exactly a feasible way to undo what has already been done. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end to the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. Now imagine that the world I just described does not have to be nearly as unattainable as so many people think. I plan on going to school at UCSB, and going as far as getting my Master’s in Environmental Science and Management, followed by my Ph.D. emphasis in Environment and Society. I’ve already learned so much about the world and how I can help in the classes I’ve taken so far in high school, but I can’t help but be hungry for more. I can’t rely on everyone else to take responsibility for their impact on the environment, but I can try and get the word out. So with the little time I have on Earth, that’s what I will do.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is the outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they may fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether that be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. The rapid increase of deforestation rates in order to provide humans with resources and make way for population growth is leading to high levels of ecosystemic imbalance and eventual destruction. The Amazon rainforest in Brazil has existed for thousands of years, yet within the last 50 years, humans have destroyed nearly ⅕ of it in order to allow open space for cattle ranching. While cattle ranching is important for the economy as well as access to food, the Amazon houses the highest levels of natural biodiversity on the planet, and it’s a hotspot that we cannot afford to lose. Cutting down 20% of the rainforest equates to organisms losing their habitats and food sources, which then leads to the endangerment of these species, and in turn, causes the destruction of even more rainforest area due to lack of pollination, nitrogen cycling, high levels of carbon dioxide, etc. This would mean less food, building materials, and access to clean air or water for humans. By endangering species that coexist with us, we end up endangering ourselves as well. Charities such as the World Wildlife Foundation have successfully raised public awareness and funding to slow the endangerment of species around the world. While these steps have been relatively effective thus far, there is more than can be done. Our focus should shift to preventative maintenance in order to halt the extinction of any more species. Once a species’ DNA has been totally lost from the planet, they cannot, with current science and technology, be reproduced. So, rather than focus on what we cannot change, a more meaningful approach could be using the idea of genetic extinction to spread awareness in order to prevent more from happening. Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. Historically, this is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. As previously stated, there is not exactly a feasible way to undo what has already been done. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. I plan on going to school at UCSB, and going as far as getting my Master’s in Environmental Science and Management, followed by my Ph.D. emphasis in Environment and Society. I’ve already learned so much about the world and how I can help in the classes I’ve taken so far in high school, but I can’t help but be hungry for more. I can’t rely on everyone else to take responsibility for their impact on the environment, but I can try and get the word out. So with the little time I have on Earth, that’s what I will do.

Growing up with anxiety, I’ve always felt out of place no matter who I’m around or what’s going on. I guess it kind of comes along with the fear of rejection. I feel like I don’t ever fully fit in. The constant spiraling of my brain that allows me to come up with the worst possible scenarios for the smallest things consistently excludes me from the rambunctious dares and “you only live once” type of experiences that my friends all partake in frequently. I quickly got classified as the “mom friend” and would sit on the sidelines watching, worrying, and waiting while the rest of my friends had fun. Sometimes, I still felt left out when we were at a football game or party and they would rush the field or shotgun a soda and I was just standing awkwardly to the side. However, the thought of me failing at whatever the activity at hand was, and then being mocked and laughed at as a result, no matter how unrealistic that was, nagged me into a spot of total fear. “What if they don’t like me anymore?” “What if I look stupid?” “I’m supposed to always have the answers to everything, so I’ll look dumb if I admit that I don’t know what they’re talking about.” It took going to summer camp with my church youth group to totally revert my mindset. For recreation, I ended up getting put on a team of people from 4-6 different churches who were all like me, meaning literally nobody wanted to participate in the games and activities, even though they were required. I finally just said, “Screw it” and volunteered for every single activity. After all, I would never see any of these people again after camp, because they were from churches nearly 9 hours away from where I live. So I jumped up, did my best, embarrassed myself, and had the most fun I had ever had in my life. And best of all, even when I messed up, lost, or took a tumble, my friends weren’t laughing at me, they were cheering me on for participating at all. I realized then that I was my own biggest critic. My friends didn’t care if I sucked or if I was amazing, they just liked playing games and wanted me to have fun with them. After I got home from camp, I realized that I was depending on the opinions of others to decide my self-worth. That doesn’t even make any sense! Why should other people have power over how I feel about myself? They’re all completely irrelevant! I grew to love all of my quirks and characteristics, even if people judged and ridiculed them. After all, they’re my quirks, so I get to decide how I feel about them, not anyone else.

If money wasn’t an issue, I’d see everything and save everything. I would want to travel the world and see all of the amazing aspects of nature that I’ve never seen before. I would buy houses in different continents and spend thousands of dollars making them eco-friendly with grey-water systems, solar panels, native plants, and appliances that conserve energy, then just give them to people. I would donate money to clean up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, and I would purchase solar panels for every city in the world that wasn’t equipped with them yet. I would establish vertical farms in every town, even those located in third-world countries, and I would pay to keep them running so that impoverished people have access to nutritional foods without becoming indebted to global conglomerates. I would donate supplies to every school, zoo, and aquarium. I would go to college and get my Ph.D. I pay to have the rivers and oceans cleaned. I would donate to student research projects so that the innovators of future generations have everything they need to change the world. I would fund chemotherapy treatments and cancer research. I would buy insulin for people. I would pay off medical debts and student loans. I would give away scholarships. I would refurbish labs and schools. I would pay people’s college tuition. Not having financial issues does not mean that I don’t have responsibilities. It does not translate to me becoming a billionaire playboy [or playgirl, in this case] and doing whatever I want, or spending money recklessly. Not having financial issues means that I have the opportunity to do things that have been put on hold or excused for way too long. There’s an entire world out there that needs help, whether it’s with getting food, accessing clean water, lowering carbon emissions, or building a home. If I had the opportunity to help it, why would I ever want to spend my money on stupid things like expensive alcohol or private planes? How could I enjoy frivolous things when people that I could help are dying from famine and drought? If money wasn’t an issue, I would change the world, even if it was just for one person.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is the outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they may fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether that be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. The rapid increase of deforestation rates in order to provide humans with resources and make way for population growth is leading to high levels of ecosystemic imbalance and eventual destruction that is going too far to be reversed. For instance, the Amazon rainforest in Brazil has existed for thousands of years, yet within the last 50 years, humans have destroyed nearly ⅕ of it in order to allow open space for cattle ranching. While cattle ranching is important for the economy as well as access to food, the Amazon houses the highest levels of natural biodiversity on the planet, and it’s a hotspot that we cannot afford to lose. By cutting one strand of this delicate ecological web that we can see, the rest of it will begin to quickly untangle. Cutting down 20% of the rainforest equates to organisms losing their habitats and food sources, which then leads to the endangerment of these species, and in turn, causes the destruction of even more rainforest area due to lack of pollination, nitrogen cycling, high levels of carbon dioxide, etc. This would mean less food, building materials, and access to clean air or water for humans. By endangering species that coexist with us, we end up endangering ourselves as well. Charities such as the World Wildlife Foundation have successfully raised public awareness and funding to stop, or at least slow, the endangerment of species around the world with methods including widespread education, the option to “adopt” a wild animal, and hosting fundraising events. While these steps are good and have been effective thus far, we as a race need to do more. Rather than attempt to reverse what we have already done, our focus should shift to preventative maintenance in order to halt the extinction of any more species. By definition, when a species goes genetically extinct, there is no physical way to bring them back. Their DNA has been totally lost from the planet, and cannot, with current science and technology, be reproduced or integrated into another organism in order to replicate the extinct organisms. So, rather than focus on what we cannot change, a more meaningful approach could be using the idea of genetic extinction to spread awareness in order to prevent more from happening. Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. While this obviously isn’t the first time a mass extinction has happened, it is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. As previously stated, there is not exactly a feasible way to undo what has already been done. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end to the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. Now imagine that the world I just described does not have to be nearly as unattainable as so many people think. I plan on going to school at UCSB, and going as far as getting my Master’s in Environmental Science and Management, followed by my Ph.D. emphasis in Environment and Society. I’ve already learned so much about the world and how I can help in the classes I’ve taken so far in high school, but I can’t help but be hungry for more. I can’t rely on everyone else to take responsibility for their impact on the environment, but I can try and get the word out. So with the little time I have on Earth, that’s what I will do.

Growing up with anxiety, I’ve always felt out of place no matter who I’m around or what’s going on. I guess it kind of comes along with the fear of rejection. I feel like I don’t ever fully fit in. The constant spiraling of my brain that allows me to come up with the worst possible scenarios for the smallest things consistently excludes me from the rambunctious dares and “you only live once” type of experiences that my friends all partake in frequently. I quickly got classified as the “mom friend” and would sit on the sidelines watching, worrying, and waiting while the rest of my friends had fun. As I got older, I got used to it. I even grew to love my position as the “mom friend.” When people had injuries, cravings, or heartbreaks to rant about, I was the safe person they always turned to. Ready and on standby with anything that anyone could possibly need, I was happy. The grateful expressions of my friends when I had extra bandaids, pads, tampons, snacks, water, hair ties, bobby pins, perfume, floss, gum, and even blankets comforted me. They gave me a purpose. But sometimes, I still felt left out when we were at a football game or party and they would rush the field or shotgun a soda and I was just standing awkwardly to the side. However, the thought of me failing at whatever the activity at hand was, and then being mocked and laughed at as a result, no matter how unrealistic that was, nagged me into a spot of total fear. “What if they don’t like me anymore?” “What if I look stupid?” “I’m supposed to always have the answers to everything, so I’ll look dumb if I admit that I don’t know what they’re talking about.” It took going to summer camp with my church youth group to totally revert my mindset. For recreation, I ended up getting put on a team of people from 4-6 different churches who were all like me, meaning literally nobody wanted to participate in the games and activities, even though they were required. I finally just said, “Screw it” and volunteered for every single activity. After all, I would never see any of these people again after camp, because they were from churches nearly 9 hours away from where I live. So I jumped it, did my best, embarrassed myself, and had the most fun I had ever had in my life. And best of all, even when I messed up, lost, or took a tumble, my friends weren’t laughing at me, they were cheering me on for participating at all. I realized then that I was my own biggest critic. My friends didn’t care if I sucked or if I was amazing, they just liked playing games and wanted me to have fun with them. After I got home from camp, I swore to change my entire dynamic and outlook on my extrovertedness. I started participating in games, dares, and activities a lot more, and while I still have my magic bottomless bag of toiletries, snacks, and comfort items, I don’t cling to it as much as I used to. I can put it down, and walk onto the field and away from the sidelines. Now, I challenge myself every day to try new things or expand out of my comfort zone. I remind myself consistently that what others think or say simply doesn’t matter. Even if what they say is mean, it won’t affect my work ethic, my survival, my future career, my education, or my ambitions. So why do I care what others think? In the future, I’d like to write a book about my varying life experiences, both positive and negative, and how they have impacted my anxiety. It’s so important to bring awareness to the issues that correspond with mental health and illness, and if I don’t get opportunities handed to me, then I am going to make some opportunities of my own. I don’t want anyone to feel as though they are not heard, seen, or loved, so if there is anything that I can do to reach people who are like me, then I want to do that. People need to understand that mental illness does not isolate them, and they can still live their lives and embrace the good things that come to them. I want to help spread that message.

I want to become a marine biologist. Since I was about 7 years old, I knew that I loved everything about the ocean. Of course, my interests have grown from “going to dolphin school” to “getting my P.hD. from UC Santa Barbara with an emphasis on environment and society.” As I’ve gotten older, I have carefully chosen my classes and activities so that I can learn as much about the world around me as possible. I’ve taken AP Human Geography, AP Biology [which I passed with 100%], and am currently enrolled in AP Environmental Science. We have such a beautiful and articulate planet, and I am so curious to know the processes that make it run. Specifically, what happens down in the deep blue? How does it impact the ecosystemic cycles that happen on land or in the atmosphere? Why is it so important that we preserve it? I have every step of my educational career mapped out so that I can eventually find the answers to these questions. I love marine biology with all my heart, and I’ve never been happier than when I am physically in the ocean or at an aquarium. I want to spread the love and knowledge that I have gained regarding this subject to as many people as can bear to listen. I also know that it is our responsibility as humans to protect the planet that we live on, and to try our best to reverse the damage that we have already done. I believe that the ocean is one of the best places to start. As the place that holds creatures that produce the majority of our oxygen and controls the global ecosystemic balances with hundreds of keystone species, the ocean is something that I respect and appreciate, and I want to do my part to repay it for all it has done.

Growing up with anxiety, I’ve always felt out of place no matter who I’m around or what’s going on. I guess it kind of comes along with the fear of rejection. I feel like I don’t ever fully fit in. The constant spiraling of my brain that allows me to come up with the worst possible scenarios for the smallest things consistently excludes me from the rambunctious dares and “you only live once” type of experiences that my friends all partake in frequently. I quickly got classified as the “mom friend” and would sit on the sidelines watching, worrying, and waiting while the rest of my friends had fun. As I got older, I got used to it. I even grew to love my position as the “mom friend.” When people had injuries, cravings, or heartbreaks to rant about, I was the safe person they always turned to. Ready and on standby with anything that anyone could possibly need, I was happy. The grateful expressions of my friends when I had extra bandaids, pads, tampons, snacks, water, hair ties, bobby pins, perfume, floss, gum, and even blankets comforted me. They gave me a purpose. But sometimes, I still felt left out when we were at a football game or party and they would rush the field or shotgun a soda and I was just standing awkwardly to the side. However, the thought of me failing at whatever the activity at hand was, and then being mocked and laughed at as a result, no matter how unrealistic that was, nagged me into a spot of total fear. “What if they don’t like me anymore?” “What if I look stupid?” “I’m supposed to always have the answers to everything, so I’ll look dumb if I admit that I don’t know what they’re talking about.” It took going to summer camp with my church youth group to totally revert my mindset. For recreation, I ended up getting put on a team of people from 4-6 different churches who were all like me, meaning literally nobody wanted to participate in the games and activities, even though they were required. I finally just said, “Screw it” and volunteered for every single activity. After all, I would never see any of these people again after camp, because they were from churches nearly 9 hours away from where I live. So I jumped it, did my best, embarrassed myself, and had the most fun I had ever had in my life. And best of all, even when I messed up, lost, or took a tumble, my friends weren’t laughing at me, they were cheering me on for participating at all. I realized then that I was my own biggest critic. My friends didn’t care if I sucked or if I was amazing, they just liked playing games and wanted me to have fun with them. After I got home from camp, I swore to change my entire dynamic and outlook on my extrovertedness. I started participating in games, dares, and activities a lot more, and while I still have my magic bottomless bag of toiletries, snacks, and comfort items, I don’t cling to it as much as I used to. I can put it down, and walk onto the field and away from the sidelines. Now, I challenge myself every day to try new things or expand out of my comfort zone. I remind myself consistently that what others think or say simply doesn’t matter. Even if what they say is mean, it won’t affect my work ethic, my survival, my future career, my education, or my ambitions. So why do I care what others think? In the future, I’d like to write a book about my varying life experiences, both positive and negative, and how they have impacted my anxiety. It’s so important to bring awareness to the issues that correspond with mental health and illness, and if I don’t get opportunities handed to me, then I am going to make some opportunities of my own. I don’t want anyone to feel as though they are not heard, seen, or loved, so if there is anything that I can do to reach people who are like me, then I want to do that. People need to understand that mental illness does not isolate them, and they can still live their lives and embrace the good things that come to them. I want to help spread that message.

Currently, I am a high school student in California. I am working on tackling as many AP classes as I can to ensure that I take every opportunity to learn that is available to me. I aspire to go to college, get my master’s degree, and then eventually get my P.hD. I have mapped out every single step of my educational career for as long as I can remember, and I know exactly where I want to go and what I want to do. I’ve started applying to scholarships already because I like to prepare for my plans. I know that my goals are incredibly ambitious, and, as a result, incredibly expensive. 11 years of college is going to wipe me out, I am very aware of that, so this grant would really help towards the expenses of achieving my dreams.

Non-renewable resources and the impact that their draining has on the ability to sustain our growing population absolutely fascinates me. I personally believe that our planet has already reached far beyond its carrying capacity, and that only by the consistent development of new technology have we been able to continue exceeding our planetary limits thus far. The idea that there is only so much of everything on Earth is a great reminder that humans are not as powerful as we think we are. As much as we desire to control everything, we cannot even realistically guarantee our own survival. Eventually, we will peak, and then we will experience a downfall. No matter the innovations that are sparked by brilliant minds, there is always a limit. It’s simply unavoidable. That being said, one of my personal concerns is world hunger. So many excuses are constantly thrown around as to why we realistically cannot feed every individual that is alive currently. Whether you look at it through an ethical, environmental, or economic lens, reasons why it is unattainable will blindside you. Then along came my best friend, vertical farming. When I first heard about vertical farming in my AP Human Geography class during my freshman year, I laughed. It was the most abundantly ridiculous thing I had ever heard of. Growing plants in skyscrapers? Seriously, what’s next? Do they get their own business-casual attire and cubicles too? But the more time I spent looking into this strange idea, the more I realized it actually makes sense. Using old buildings for vertical farming would save host cities the money of demolishing abandoned buildings. Companies funding the project would bring economic benefits to the host cities as well because they are either buying or leasing out the building. Land area is preserved because of the vertical aspect of these farms, which also preserves the limited amount of arable land that we have on Earth. Crop-rotation, which has been in practice for centuries will allow for nutrients to be replenished between harvests. Finally, the indoor-aspect of the farms allows for total control over climate, irrigation, run-off, and sunlight. Vertical farming is known to use up to 95% less water than normal farming, and any runoff that may occur can easily be caught and sent through a filter to ensure that nearby watersheds aren’t turned into dead zones by over-enrichment. Singapore has recently approved government funding for the startup of the widespread practice of vertical farming, and I think it’s time that we follow suit. Imagine crops being grown all year long and in all biomes. Transportation would no longer be of major concern because all counties would have access to a farm nearby. The debate over locally grown foods versus foods being shipped in could finally end because locally grown foods would be cheaper and more easily accessible to everybody. Vertical farming is a phenomenal concept that should be integrated into every possible area.

I thoroughly admire Natalie Portman’s work in STEM. Although she has a very comfortable career as an actress, she did not fail to push herself and has always valued her education over being in the Hollywood spotlight. Portman has a degree in psychology from Harvard and is known for skipping the premiere of a Star Wars movie, which she starred in, to take her high school final exams. The dedication that Portman shows not only to her own work but to inspiring others astounds me. The actress has partnered with Marvel to fund programs that encourage young women to pursue STEM careers and activities, and consistently speaks on the importance of female involvement in the sciences. I hope that one day I can achieve a platform like hers and also spread the message to girls that they should never give up on their goals, even though it takes so much effort to get there. I want to become a marine biologist. Since I was about 7 years old, I knew that I loved everything about the ocean. Of course, my interests have grown from “going to dolphin school” to “getting my P.hD. from UC Santa Barbara with an emphasis on environment and society.” As I’ve gotten older, I have carefully chosen my classes and activities so that I can learn as much about the world around me as possible. I’ve taken AP Human Geography, AP Biology [which I passed with 100%], and am currently enrolled in AP Environmental Science. We have such a beautiful and articulate planet, and I am so curious to know the processes that make it run. Specifically, what happens down in the deep blue? How does it impact the ecosystemic cycles that happen on land or in the atmosphere? Why is it so important that we preserve it? I have every step of my educational career mapped out so that I can eventually find the answers to these questions. I love marine biology with all my heart, and I’ve never been happier than when I am physically in the ocean or at an aquarium. I want to spread the love and knowledge that I have gained regarding this subject to as many people as can bear to listen. I also know that it is our responsibility as humans to protect the planet that we live on, and to try our best to reverse the damage that we have already done. I believe that the ocean is one of the best places to start. As the place that holds creatures that produce the majority of our oxygen and controls the global ecosystemic balances with hundreds of keystone species, the ocean is something that I respect and appreciate, and I want to do my part to repay it for all it has done.

Small businesses are incredibly important to local cultures. Their ability to craft products that appeal to specific groups of clientele and hold relationships with their community creates a sense of hominess and comfort within their shops. I personally love purchasing products from small businesses over big box stores because I feel like the items that I buy have a story. I can read about the founder’s dreams and aspirations as I look over their craft, and when you talk to the maker of the products, you can see the care and consideration that they put into every single detail of the process. Small business products have this aura of authenticity that you don’t find anywhere else. There is a reasoning and a meaning behind every decision they make and what they put into their products. I bought a facial cleanser from a small skincare business, and I had the opportunity to talk to the owner of the shop, Fulton and Market, and it was incredible. We connected over both having eczema and struggling with bad skin our entire lives. He related to my fear that because no cleanser had ever worked to clear my skin, thus far, I might never find one. He then went on to explain how he had gotten a degree in microbiology, and decided to use that knowledge to make his own cleanser that was gentle enough to soothe his skin, but still able to get rid of excess oils and dirt. It took him 6 years to perfect the formula for this facial cleanser, but he finally did it. At first, the sole purpose of creating this product was just to have something that worked for him, but when he started giving some out to his friends and family who struggled with issues varying from excess oil, cystic acne, and dry skin, everyone encouraged him to start selling it. Now, Fulton and Market is a successful business with even more carefully crafted products such as cold-pressed rosehip oil, mango-butter moisturizers, and hemp lotions. It was so inspiring to hear how the determination to find a solution for one little problem for one person led to this entire skincare business. I have personally always loved the idea of owning and running a small business, but it has never been my key focus or ambition. I would much rather be a marine biologist, get my Ph.D., and spread the word about global conservation to as many people as I can. My mom, however, has longed to own her own family-oriented coffee shop for as long as I can remember. Her experience managing different restaurants, food distribution stores, and organizations has granted her all of this knowledge about how to run things, and her role as a mom has allowed her to understand how important it is to have businesses available to people where parents and children can both hang out and have fun in a no-stress environment. I hope she achieves that dream someday.

Since the day I was born, my mother has been making unspeakable amounts of sacrifices to ensure my safety and comfort. I was never an easy child, especially considered I’ve been riddled with severe anxiety since the moment I came out of the womb. I needed her to be everywhere with me, even if my dad or brothers were there. I only ever wanted my mom. However, I never fully understood how much she loved me until last year. It was my sophomore year of high school. I was about to enter a trial regarding charges being pressed against a student who had stalked me, threatened my life, physically assaulted me, and made plans to shoot up my high school, with my name at the top of his written-down hit list. I had given my statement to my school’s on-campus officer, and they told me that my mom would get an official letter in the mail as a courtesy. I didn’t think much of it, as I had already informed her about everything, and she was the one who encouraged me to step forward and alert the authorities. But man, the day that letter came? I’ve never seen such a strong woman look so small and broken. It gives me chills whenever I think about it. I remember thinking that one of my grandparents had died. I walked into the house to see her sitting at the dining room table, shaking and crying with a piece of paper in her hands. “What’s wrong momma?” I walked over to where she was sitting. “Keik, I knew what was going on. But god, it’s so different. It’s so so different.” “What do you mean, what’s different?” She stood up and grabbed me so tight it felt like I couldn’t breathe. “When you get a letter in the mail saying that you have to go to trial because someone wanted to take your daughter’s life away from you forever.” She started crying, and I did too quickly after. I had been so scared about everything that I hadn’t even stopped to consider how she must feel about all of this. Of course, I was scared. I mean, someone had threatened to strangle me in my sleep. But as a parent, having to face your worst fear of losing a child without so much as flinching? Having to put up a facade and be strong because you know how scared your child is, even though you are equally terrified? That day was the moment I realized just how much my mother loved me and is willing to literally face down her worst nightmare just so that I don’t have to face down mine.

The only time that I don’t have my AirPods in with Spotify playing in the background is when I’m actively in class, and when I’m sleeping. Even when I’m in the shower, I have my phone playing music on the bathroom counter. I guess you could say I am addicted to music. I love the emotional drive that I can feel from different songs. The idea that a series of words paired with some rhythmic sounds could have that much control over my moods and work ethics never ceases to amaze me. It also happens to be what got me through the most difficult time of my life. When I was a sophomore, I got my life threatened by a kid who would stalk me at school. When the police searched his house, they found evidence of a plan to bring a gun to our high school and commit some very violent crimes. They even found a physical hit list, and it had my name on it. When my case went to trial, communication between the DA’s office and my family was literally the worst. They rarely updated us, failed to inform us of date changes, and misfiled my restraining order against the defendant 3 times. The entire length of the trial, I didn’t even know where the kid was, or if he would end up coming back to school. I was an anxious wreck every second of every day. I wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, and missed school at least twice a month from panic attacks. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and screened positive for PTSD. Besides regularly scheduled therapy, the only thing that made me feel safe and understood was music. Specifically, Mansion by NF said everything that I was feeling. “My mind is a home I’m trapped in, and it’s lonely inside this mansion” “I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around, wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground.” “My mind is a house with walls covered in pain.” “I build the safe room and I don’t let no one in there, ‘cause if I do, there’s a chance they might disappear and not come back, and I admit I am emotionally scared to let anyone inside.” “I’m barricaded inside so stop watching. I’m not coming to the door, so stop knocking.” I really wish I could just paste the entire song and have you listen to it because the lyrics explain a lot of what I was feeling. When I was going through court dates and paranoia and constant anxiety, I felt so trapped in my own mind, and I honestly thought there was no way out. I just figured that I would end up drowning in my own thoughts before the trial even had a chance to finish. But knowing that there was someone out there who understood exactly how I felt? That was the most indescribably incredible feeling that I’ve ever experienced.

Education has always been my priority. Ever since I was young, I have had a roadmap of my life laid out in my head, checking goals I’ve achieved off my list as I go. Even the most basic of accomplishments, such as finishing elementary school, was a symbol of my efforts paying off to me. Throughout the questionable times of my life, such as parents divorcing, siblings moving away, getting restraining orders, and living through endless court dates, education has always felt like a stable safe place. School would always be there. The give-and-take philosophy of classes acted as a sense of normalcy throughout all my ups and downs. If I couldn’t control the outcome of marriages, moves, and relationships, then at least I could control how hard I worked and the grades that I would get as a result of that. This consistent sense of safety led to a marriage of sorts between me and my grades. My education came first, after only God and family. I knew from a very young age that I would go to college and become great, and nothing was going to get in my way. The second I got into high school I took as many AP classes as I possibly could, and now, as a junior, the workload is second-nature to me. I’m no longer stressed about tests and assignments. I know how to manage my time and priorities so that I can finish my work and still have hours to spare and spend with friends and family. With all this free time, I have begun to do things like this: scholarship applications; college preparations; research into different opportunities that have been presented to me; I even wrote out a step by step plan to get me through high school, undergraduate schooling, a master’s program, and all the way to my PhD. As an American, I am blessed to have access to so many options of secondary and higher education, and I plan to take full advantage of as many as I possibly can. I absolutely love learning more than anything, and can’t help but satisfy any curiosity I may have, whether it’s about the innermost functions of a car, computer programming, or cooking fancy meals. Education started out as a safe place where I could initiate some sort of control over my rollercoaster of a life, but it quickly shifted to one of the greatest loves of my life. I will always love learning. I am ecstatic to start college in a couple of years and be a part of research projects and team studies so that I can absorb as many things as my brain can handle.

When shopping online, I love to look on Amazon first to try and find the best deals. If I don’t find what I’m looking for, I scan Target.com, Sephora.com, and SunDiego.com to find quality products such as skincare, makeup, clothes, and lifestyle items that suit me. These websites are frequently easy to navigate, have nearly consistent sales, and assists customers when necessary. I also use the Honey browser extension to get discounts on all my purchases!

I had a lot of expectations for how the new schoolyear would turn out. All of them were wrong. During the second week of September 2019, one of the boys in my French class started acting very different. His jokes were no longer funny but were filled with odd, threatening statements. “Have you ever thought about shooting up the school?” “Have you ever thought about bombing the school?” “I wanna kill ******. I hate him so much.” “When I turn 18 [in December], I am going to buy a gun.” I tried not to think much of them; after all, he was a high school senior born into one of the most nihilistic generations in history. I told myself to just stay on his good side, offering him paper or pencils when he needed them, helping him with his work, and cracking the occasional joke. One instance, however, made it clear that being on his “good side” was not enough. “Do you want to die? I will come to your house while you’re sleeping and strangle you to death.” I froze. How do you even respond to something like that? Especially when you can how serious the speaker is? That’s when the symptoms began. I’ve struggled with chronic diagnosed anxiety since I was born, but never like this. I barely ate; I woke up at 3 AM every day having night terrors; I, a 15-year-old high school student, had to sleep in my mom’s bed while she rocked me to sleep; I felt like I was being followed everywhere; I was constantly shaking; I missed days of school; I couldn’t go anywhere alone; going out at night was unthinkable. While already struggling with these symptoms, the issues with this boy kept getting worse. He would follow me around the school; he threw a box at my head; he slapped me; he tried to grab me. Nowhere felt safe anymore. I finally decided to report everything on September 27th. I didn’t think it would go anywhere, based on my previous experiences with public school administration. The next thing I know, I was being sat down and told that I would have to talk to the police. After that, I was being told that it was now an official investigation. I could not talk to anyone outside of my immediate family about what was going on. The next 10 months were hell, if I may say so. I started going to therapy immediately in an attempt to lessen my stress and anxiety, considering harmless pranks that my friends would play on me would send me into a heaving panic attack leading to a black-out. In November, I had to give two more statements about everything that happened to me, meaning I continued to miss more school. We were officially informed that evidence had been found regarding the truth of that boy’s threats, including a plan to shoot up my high school, and a hit list with my name on it. In December, I watched my mom, the strongest person I know, crumble into messy sobs as she listened to a voicemail from the district attorney saying that my case was going to trial because someone had the intention to take her daughter’s life away. The first court date wasn’t even until January 29th. When I finally set foot into that courtroom, I had to sit 3 feet directly behind the boy who wanted to murder me. I listened as the conditions of my restraining order against him were announced to the court. Then over the next two weeks, I had to deal with the complications of that same restraining order being filed incorrectly 3 different times. In March, the second day of the trial took place, and nothing happened. After that, quarantine started, delaying the third court date for two months. Every single day, I woke up pleading with God for it to be over. I honestly thought that it would never end. That same month was when my perspective on life changed. My memories shifted from him saying “I will strangle you,” to a different, more common phrase of his: “My parents hate me. I’m such a disappointment.” My heart shattered when I realized this boy did not need harsh discipline. He needed help. He needed love. I realized that when you don’t forgive someone, you're telling them that there is nothing worth remembering about them except for how they hurt you. I didn’t want him to be remembered like that. On July 1, 2020, we were officially notified that he had been charged and that the case was over. The very first thing I did was write a letter that I had his probation officer read to him. In it, I explained that I forgave him and that I hope he knows that he is loved. Recently, I screened positive for severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Insanely, I wasn’t upset. You see, life is not something that we live for ourselves. Life is a blessing given to us so that we can, in turn, bless others. I have a story to share; one that’s full of growth, forgiveness, faith, love, and hope. As long as it went on, my pain did eventually end, and that is what I choose to remember about my experiences. I have goals. There are things that need to be done to improve our planet and our society. There are people that need love, and I know now that I have so much love to offer. I am currently in the process of writing a book, which gives a much more detailed version of this story. I think putting everything out there helps others feel as though someone understands, and when I was in the thick of it, unable to talk to anybody, that is what I needed the most: to be seen, heard, and loved. Therefore, I aspire to see, hear, and love as many people as I can.

I read once that when you have a broken bone, you do not walk on it every single day and try to force yourself to recover quickly nevertheless the abuse you are inflicting upon yourself; therefore, we should treat our mental health the same way. When we feel anxious, depressed, upset, or drained, we cannot shove those feelings down and pretend that everything is fine, but rather allow ourselves to feel those feelings in order to make the best possible recovery that we can. I have struggled with severe anxiety from the day that I was born, and sophomore year did nothing to help. I was stalked and ended up on a hit list by another student planning to shoot up my school, and I was the only person who reported him, which led to a 10-month long process of court dates, trials, restraining orders, and PTSD. In the middle of that mess, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. The entire year, I had to paste a smile on my face, hold back choking tears and screams, and act like things couldn’t be better. After all, how could anyone possibly understand why a normal prank that my friends pulled all the time suddenly resulted in a full-blown panic attack? It felt like I could never get a break. I started therapy and dove into my relationship with God. I clung to my mom and would panic every time she left for work. I stayed home from school about once a month when the thought of getting out of bed would result in shaking and hyperventilation. I hated having no control over my emotions or responses to nearly every situation thrown at me. Everyone I knew gushed that I was so strong for surviving everything I had been through, so why did I feel so weak for panicking all the time? When an anxiety attack would occur, I would always get mad at myself for it afterward. I knew that I wanted to get better, and that meant putting time and effort into myself above all else. I’ve been meeting with my therapist for over a year now, and have worked incredibly hard to heal and better understand my brain and its responses. Using techniques like EMDR [eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing] I have recounted my most traumatic memories and let go of the grip they once had over me. My anxiety has decreased dramatically, and I haven’t had a panic attack in weeks. But most importantly, I love myself and those around me so much more. My relationship with my mom has grown from a sense of dependency on her to a deep friendship. We tell each other everything, and I always feel safe being honest with her. I have improved my relationships with my brothers, my biological dad, and my stepfather. I realized that even though my parents aren’t married, or we don’t all live in one house, we are still a family, and we still love each other more than anything in the world. I have realized my passion for inciting change in the world. I am currently in the process of writing a book, and I am so excited to tell my story and help others understand that they are never alone. I have begun assisting my church with scheduling and planning events, and I love it more than anything. One day, I would like to start a makeup business called “You Don’t Need This” to inspire young women to embrace their true and natural selves with confidence. For me, makeup was a way of covering my emotions and insecurities in order to feel more together. I would like to introduce a line of sheer and nude makeup to encourage the idea that being the most yourself you can be often translates to being the most beautiful that you can be. Living with anxiety is difficult, and it is still a daily struggle to have control over my emotions, and think with my head rather than with my hormones, but I am so much happier than I have ever been, and I cannot wait to see where life takes me.

As a young woman constantly battling anxiety and PTSD, fitness has quickly become an outlet for me. The ability to feel like I am sweating out the stress never ceases to amaze me, and always gives me a dose of serotonin to counteract the high-strung habits I tend to fall into. In an effort to improve my mental health, I exercise every single day and do my best to eat foods that have a high nutritional value, including lots of vitamins and minerals. I switched over from coffee to kombucha, and let me tell you, I never imagined being able to feel so energized without also feeling jittery and nauseous from caffeine. My favorite activities are hiking and swimming, as I am definitely my happiest when I am surrounded by nature. My best friend and I are currently planning a road trip up the California Coast Highway to Big Sur, and are filling our schedule with the hikes along the way, including one that takes you to this gorgeous cove that’s tucked away into the cliffs. My mom and I are at the beach frequently, and I adore diving through the waves and feeling the tide sway me back and forth. The adrenaline I feel is addicting and never fails to soothe whatever panic is radiating through my body at that moment. Fitness is an amazing natural anti-anxiety and antidepressant solution. I honestly don’t know where I would be without it. I love myself, I love my life, and I finally feel at peace now that I found a way to work through my emotions.

I read once that when you have a broken bone, you do not walk on it every single day and try to force yourself to recover quickly nevertheless the abuse you are inflicting upon yourself; therefore, we should treat our mental health the same way. When we feel anxious, depressed, upset, or drained, we cannot shove those feelings down and pretend that everything is fine, but rather allow ourselves to feel those feelings in order to make the best possible recovery that we can. I have struggled with severe anxiety from the day that I was born. A rough and early delivery resulted in me being rushed into an incubator rather than into my mother’s arms. I was a newborn, freshly brought into this beautiful world, and rather than love and warmth, the first thing I ever felt was trauma and breathing tubes. Only a few years later, I was a toddler living through the divorce of her parents. Within the next four years, I was a seven-year-old pushing my way through another divorce between her mother and stepfather. Two years after that, one of my older brothers was moving 6 hours away to college, and one of my other older brothers was getting married and starting a family of his own. In only nine years, everything that I knew was becoming more and more jumbled, and my emotions were understandably following suit. School never helped. In elementary school, I was pinned down and choked nearly to the point of blacking out during recess. In middle school, I was sexually assaulted in the middle of my first-period class. During my sophomore year, I was stalked and ended up on a hit list by another student planning to shoot up my school, and I was the only person who reported him, which led to a 10-month long process of court dates, trials, restraining orders, and PTSD. In the middle of that mess, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. Everywhere I turned, I could never get a break. I started therapy and dove into my relationship with God. I clung to my mom and would panic every time she left for work. I stayed home from school about once a month when the thought of getting out of bed would result in choking sobs and hyperventilation. When quarantine started, I had no idea if I would make it out alive. The entire concept of not knowing when I would be able to leave my house or if life would ever be normal again made me nauseous and dizzy. The only thing that I was sure of was that I was sick of feeling this way. I hated having no control over my emotions or responses to nearly every situation thrown at me. Everyone I knew gushed that I was so strong for surviving everything I had been through, so why did I feel so weak for panicking all the time? When an anxiety attack would occur, I would always get mad at myself for it afterward. I knew that I wanted to get better, and that meant putting time and effort into myself above all else. I’ve been meeting with my therapist for over a year now, and have worked incredibly hard to heal and better understand my brain and its responses. Using techniques like EMDR [eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing] I have recounted my most traumatic memories and let go of the grip they once had over me. My anxiety has decreased dramatically, and I haven’t had a panic attack in weeks. But most importantly, I love myself and those around me so much more. My relationship with my mom has grown from a sense of dependency on her to a deep friendship. We tell each other everything, and I always feel safe being honest with her. I have improved my relationships with my brothers, my biological dad, and my stepfather. I realized that even though my parents aren’t married, or we don’t all live in one house, we are still a family, and we still love each other more than anything in the world. I have realized my passion for science and environmental studies. The ocean has evolved from being a place where I feel most calm, to being a place that I feel responsible for saving. I still believe in God, and I have witnessed how he has used my story and experiences to help guide others through their own struggles. I am currently in the process of writing a book, and I am so excited to tell my story and help others understand that they are never alone. Living with anxiety is difficult, and it is still a daily struggle to have control over my emotions, and think with my head rather than with my hormones, but I am so much happier than I have ever been, and I cannot wait to see where life takes me.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is this outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they mend fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether than be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. While this obviously isn’t the first time a mass extinction has happened, it is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end to the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. I would like to see local communities take individual steps to improve the ecological footprint that we are leaving behind, whether or not the state mandates it. In recent years, California passed a law stating that all new homes must be built with solar panels in an effort to promote the usage of clean energy. But what if all buildings followed this example? How much could we reduce the use of fossil fuels by making solar power easily attainable? Unfortunately, the true answer to this question can only be found when we give it a shot. It is a risk, but it is a risk worth taking. The worst possible outcome would be an increase in corporate overhead that businesses need to make up to maintain their economic status, but solar energy is not known to be a failure. Many people argue that it is unreasonable in certain areas due to a cloudy climate; however, sunlight still beams through the clouds, hence the ability of humans to get sunburnt on cloudy days. While the absorption of energy may not be as high in Washington State as in California, it is an absorption of energy all the same, and could still successfully reduce the usage of fossil fuels. In my community, I am a very vocal advocate for sustainable living. I encourage those around me to use less single-use plastics, ensure that the food they eat is responsibly sourced, locally farmed, or fair trade, and to live an environmentally friendly lifestyle every chance they get. I have taken several courses during my high school career to educate myself on this topic, such as BioMedical Science, AP Biology, AP Human Geography, and AP Environmental Science, and if I have learned anything at all from each of these classes, it’s that sustainable living is not nearly as farfetched as many politicians would like you to believe. I am proud of our government for taking more steps to ensure the safety of our biodiversity in recent decades, but there is still so much more that we would be doing, and it all starts with you.

In general, rejection hurts. It cuts deep to our core, makes us doubt everything we were once confident in, and has a nasty habit of sinking its teeth into our most vulnerable places. What could possibly be worse than rejection? Rejection from someone we really care about. Sophomore year of high school was anything but easy for me. I struggled with anxiety, depression, and PTSD surrounding my two oldest brothers moving far away, getting stalked, having my life seriously threatened, being quarantined, and finding out my boyfriend had been cheating on me. I woke up every morning wondering what else could possibly go wrong at this point, as it had felt like I had been thrown through every loop in existence. My three senses of stability were rooted in God, my mom, and my very best friend. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have made it this far. It was a Saturday morning in April, and everything felt just fine. The normal anxiety and stress that I felt daily were there, but other than that, it seemed as though I was untouchable. In fact, I was healing emotionally and mentally; I had attended therapy religiously, determined to get help rather than remain stuck in the rut that was my mind, and it was working wonders. Then my phone chimed with a text from my best friend. You know those moments where your phone rings or you get a letter in the mail, and you just know that something is horribly wrong? All of a sudden your heart starts pounding and your hands get all clammy as you question whether it would be better to read whatever this horrible message is now, or if you should wait. Looking at my phone, that same sense of horror completely washed over my body. I started shaking as I unlocked my phone to read this massively long text that the closest person to me had sent. My vision started going blurry and I felt like I was going to faint as all the blood rushed out of my face. “I can’t do this anymore.” “You’re toxic.” “You’re manipulative.” “You have control issues.” “I can’t be friends with someone so tunnel-visioned.” She didn’t even have the respect to call me and explain why she was cutting me off. My best friend, the one person who I talked to everything about through family issues, anxiety, PTSD, court dates, restraining orders, and nightmares, just lit a match to our friendship with a text. I was not okay for weeks after that. I tried to change everything about myself. I was upset, self-conscious, scared, and alone. I cried every single day, feeling like I would never be enough. My “best friend” hates everything about me, my boyfriend couldn’t commit because I didn’t want to sleep with him, and I was stuck in the middle of a trial to convict the person who was planning on murdering me. Never have I ever felt so alone and desperate. Obviously, rejection, in general, hurts like a punch to the gut, but I took what my best friend said even farther than just to heart because she saw me at my most vulnerable state. Most angering of all, I was able to admit that some of what she said was true, such as me having control issues, but what she pointed out were all symptoms of my anxiety, and were things I had been working really hard to improve on while in therapy. It felt like I had been working so hard to heal and get better, and someone looked at all my blood, sweat, and tears, and decided it simply wasn’t enough. It took about 3 months of talking to my mom, my pastor, and my therapist to really get over how she mercilessly pointed out all of my flaws and imperfections. While a part of me wishes it had never happened and misses her from time to time, I know that it was necessary. Not because I really am not good enough, but because it made me realize that I was trying too hard to make an unhealthy friendship work. She and I both suffered from severe anxiety and were eerily similar in how our anxiety showed. We thought that this was enough grounds to build a friendship on and that it would be a great relationship to harbor because we would understand each other. The issue with this logic is that you can’t help someone with their anxiety if you can’t even handle your own. The friendship “breakup” I went through forced me to stop trying to attend to everyone else’s needs and really sit down and pay attention to my own. I was no longer distracted by trying to appease my best friend, my boyfriend, and all of my teachers. I was completely alone and had 4 weeks off of school due to quarantine, so there was literally no excuse for me to avoid addressing my own issues. I cleaned and reorganized my room, started a rigorous workout routine, began eating healthier, started tapping into old friendships that I had ignored when I met my best friend, and reconnected with things that I love, such as painting, reading, writing poetry, and diving into marine biology. Working through all of the pain and trauma that sophomore year entailed, I learned incredible things about myself. I learned that I am mind-blowingly strong and in tune with my emotions. I have built fantastic friendships with a group of people from my church who have also seen me at my worst and decided to stick around and love me, rather than accuse me of deeply-ingrained toxicity for being imperfect. Rejection is awful; however, without it, I would be down 10 new bet friends, better mental health, and crazy self-love.

The growing disappearance of biodiversity and ecosystems globally is an incredible cause of concern for ecologists everywhere. One of the most amazing aspects of our planet is this outstanding talent it has to maintain balance. Every species, though they mend fend for themselves, relies on another species for some sort of ecosystemic service, whether than be the cycling of nutrients, the maintenance of competition, or the availability of resources. In essence, ecosystems are similar to the ingredients used to bake bread. Each individual ingredient within the bread plays its own role apart from the others, but can only successfully make bread when combined with the other ingredients. Humans are not immune to this need for balance either. We rely on plants, pollinators, predators, and prey as well. The rapid increase of deforestation rates in order to provide humans with resources and make way for population growth is leading to high levels of ecosystemic imbalance and eventual destruction that is going too far to be reversed. For instance, the Amazon rainforest in Brazil has existed for thousands of years, yet within the last 50 years, humans have destroyed nearly ⅕ of it in order to allow open space for cattle ranching. While cattle ranching is important for the economy as well as access to food, the Amazon houses the highest levels of natural biodiversity on the planet, and it’s a hotspot that we cannot afford to lose. By cutting one strand of this delicate ecological web that we can see, the rest of it will begin to quickly untangle. Cutting down 20% of the rainforest equates to organisms losing their habitats and food sources, which then leads to the endangerment of these species, and in turn, causes the destruction of even more rainforest area due to lack of pollination, nitrogen cycling, high levels of carbon dioxide, etc. This would mean less food, building materials, and access to clean air or water for humans. By endangering species that coexist with us, we end up endangering ourselves as well. Charities such as the World Wildlife Foundation have successfully raised public awareness and funding to stop, or at least slow, the endangerment of species around the world with methods including widespread education, the option to “adopt” a wild animal, and hosting fundraising events. While these steps are good and have been effective thus far, we as a race need to do more. Rather than attempt to reverse what we have already done, our focus should shift to preventative maintenance in order to halt the extinction of any more species. By definition, when a species goes genetically extinct, there is no physical way to bring them back. Their DNA has been totally lost from the planet, and cannot, with current science and technology, be reproduced or integrated into another organism in order to replicate the extinct organisms. So, rather than focus on what we cannot change, a more meaningful approach could be using the idea of genetic extinction to spread awareness in order to prevent more from happening. Currently, we are in the middle of the sixth mass extinction in planetary history. While this obviously isn’t the first time a mass extinction has happened, it is the first time one has occurred at the hands of humans, rather than of natural events. As previously stated, there is not exactly a feasible way to undo what has already been done. However, governments have the ability to pass and enforce laws against poaching. More blue parks can be instituted to protect oceanic expanses from overfishing and oil drilling. Efforts can be made to reduce carbon emissions by transitioning to widespread solar or wind power in urban areas, and harmful chemical-based plastics can be replaced with biodegradable hemp-based plastics. If we can go so far as to put hemp in our toothpaste, then we can put it in our Starbucks cups. Since bamboo grows so fast, we can regulate bamboo-based paper products over the tree-based paper. In the midst of the transition, lumber companies can switch from clear-cutting forests to selective-cutting specific mature trees. Skyscrapers can be used for sustainable vertical farming practices in order to reduce the usage of land area, nutrient-enriched water runoff, and carbon emissions. The institution of vertical farming as a normal practice can also reduce the necessity for cross-country shipping due to technology allowing farmers to regulate temperature, humidity, sunlight, and soil pH, all of which introduce the possibility for any crop to be grown anywhere. We as humans do not need to dominate the planet. We do not need to destroy everything in our path in order to make way for ourselves or get what we want. Since January, the theme for 2020 has been “Everything is changing.” Let’s take responsibility and change this too. Clean energy is attainable. Imagine a world thriving with greenery and wildlife. The same sun that you seek when you finally get that vacation from work is also powering the brewing of your favorite cup of coffee, which warms your hands from a recycled, biodegradable bamboo cup. And as another positive aspect for all my politically-driven friends, we are one step closer to world peace, as the need for oil has decreased dramatically, putting an end on the war for fossil fuels in the Middle East. Now imagine that the world I just described does not have to be nearly as unattainable as so many people think.

My two cats [OJ and Juju] are the furry loves of my life. They are both rescued from local shelters as I am a firm believer in Adopt, Don't Shop! We adopted OJ because he has a birth defect, and was born with only 1/3 of a tail. Passers-by would run up to his cage and tug on his tail until he yelped, which broke my heart to witness, so I knew I had to take him home. We went to get him a friend, and Juju immediately curled into my brother's lap, so we knew she was the one.

One of my worst characteristics by far is my failure to question others. By nature, I am an extremely trusting person. Rather than say that trust must be earned, I believe that everyone has the right to be trusted until they prove otherwise. I suppose you could say that I was blessed with an “innocent until proven guilty” mindset. This mental concept has allowed me to formulate incredible friendships with people whom others typically judge, however, it gets me in hot water from time to time. For instance, in my sophomore year, I was sat next to a boy who I’d never seen before in my second period. He appeared to be friendly enough, although I quickly realized that he one of the darkest senses of humor that I’d ever experienced. I wrote it off as him being a nihilistic senior, as most are, and went along minding my business. It took several weeks of him making violent threats against the school, as well as me as an individual, for me to realize that maybe, possibly, this kid isn’t joking. I understood that it was now my responsibility to report this student to someone, whether or not he really was joking, simply because he was talking about planning a school shooting on our campus, and murdering me in my sleep. It took me roughly 4 weeks of succumbing to the trauma he had induced to go to the Administration office and address the situation. This of course led to a police investigation where they found written plans in his house, including a hit list, which I was a part of, and was followed by 10 months of trial. My failure in this situation was not speaking up sooner. I could have saved myself an insane amount of stress and trauma, as well as save my mom a large sum of money that went towards paying for therapy if I hadn’t waited so long to tell someone about what I was going through. Regardless, I learned an incredible amount throughout this experience. I was able to uncover and embrace my true self, and I now have a story of recovery to share that can help others who are currently in or have previously experienced similar circumstances. I am in the process of writing a book about walking through trauma and clinging to hope that there will be good on the other side. I have also been reminded that one hard situation, as strenuous as it may be, does not define life, nor does it prove that the world is a horrible place. There were so many people around me that held my hands, walking alongside me so I would know that I will never go through trials alone. I, in turn, have now vowed to be that person for as many other people as possible, because I truly believe that if you cannot find any good in the world, then you should become the good.

I had a lot of expectations for how the new schoolyear would turn out. All of them were wrong. During the second week of September 2019, one of the boys in my French class started acting very different. His jokes were no longer funny but were filled with odd, threatening statements. “Have you ever thought about shooting up the school?” “Have you ever thought about bombing the school?” “I wanna kill ******. I hate him so much.” “When I turn 18 [in December], I am going to buy a gun.” I tried not to think much of them; after all, he was a high school senior born into one of the most nihilistic generations in history. I told myself to just stay on his good side, offering him paper or pencils when he needed them, helping him with his work, and cracking the occasional joke. One instance, however, made it clear that being on his “good side” was not enough. “Do you want to die? I will come to your house while you’re sleeping and strangle you to death.” I froze. How do you even respond to something like that? Especially when you can how serious the speaker is? That’s when the symptoms began. I’ve struggled with chronic diagnosed anxiety since I was born, but never like this. I barely ate; I woke up at 3 AM every day having night terrors; I, a 15-year-old high school student, had to sleep in my mom’s bed while she rocked me to sleep; I felt like I was being followed everywhere; I was constantly shaking; I missed days of school; I couldn’t go anywhere alone; going out at night was unthinkable. While already struggling with these symptoms, the issues with this boy kept getting worse. He would follow me around the school; he threw a box at my head; he slapped me; he tried to grab me. Nowhere felt safe anymore. I finally decided to report everything on September 27th. I didn’t think it would go anywhere, based on my previous experiences with public school administration. The next thing I know, I was being sat down and told that I would have to talk to the police. After that, I was being told that it was now an official investigation. I could not talk to anyone outside of my immediate family about what was going on. The next 10 months were hell, if I may say so. I started going to therapy immediately in an attempt to lessen my stress and anxiety, considering harmless pranks that my friends would play on me would send me into a heaving panic attack leading to a black-out. In November, I had to give two more statements about everything that happened to me, meaning I continued to miss more school. We were officially informed that evidence had been found regarding the truth of that boy’s threats, including a plan to shoot up my high school, and a hit list with my name on it. In December, I watched my mom, the strongest person I know, crumble into messy sobs as she listened to a voicemail from the district attorney saying that my case was going to trial because someone had the intention to take her daughter’s life away. The first court date wasn’t even until January 29th. When I finally set foot into that courtroom, I had to sit 3 feet directly behind the boy who wanted to murder me. I listened as the conditions of my restraining order against him were announced to the court. Then over the next two weeks, I had to deal with the complications of that same restraining order being filed incorrectly 3 different times. In March, the second day of the trial took place, and nothing happened. After that, quarantine started, delaying the third court date for two months. Every single day, I woke up pleading with God for it to be over. I honestly thought that it would never end. That same month was when my perspective on life changed. My memories shifted from him saying “I will strangle you,” to a different, more common phrase of his: “My parents hate me. I’m such a disappointment.” My heart shattered when I realized this boy did not need harsh discipline. He needed help. He needed love. I realized that when you don’t forgive someone, you're telling them that there is nothing worth remembering about them except for how they hurt you. I didn’t want him to be remembered like that. On July 1, 2020, we were officially notified that he had been charged and that the case was over. The very first thing I did was write a letter that I had his probation officer read to him. In it, I explained that I forgave him and that I hope he knows that he is loved. Recently, I screened positive for severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Insanely, I wasn’t upset. You see, life is not something that we live for ourselves. Life is a blessing given to us so that we can, in turn, bless others. I have a story to share; one that’s full of growth, forgiveness, faith, love, and hope. As long as it went on, my pain did eventually end, and that is what I choose to remember about my experiences. I have goals. There are things that need to be done to improve our planet and our society. There are people that need love, and I know now that I have so much love to offer. I am currently in the process of writing a book, which gives a much more detailed version of this story. I think putting everything out there helps others feel as though someone understands, and when I was in the thick of it, unable to talk to anybody, that is what I needed the most: to be seen, heard, and loved. Therefore, I aspire to see, hear, and love as many people as I can.

Roxanne Marie Brown, single mother of 6 children, two of which miscarried, one of which is me. If I had to choose to strive to be like one person, I would choose her in a heartbeat. The grace that my mother handles everything with astounds me. She somehow manages to fight off the world for her children every single day, slaying every monster that we cannot even see before it consumes us. Her shield of protection has been ever-present, no matter how exhausted she gets. My mother has navigated the struggles of poverty, famine, divorce, and cheating while keeping her children completely oblivious for years. She never muddies the reputation of others, no matter how poorly they treat her, and she rarely complains about the difficulties of life. My mom has shown me what it means to live life to the fullest. She doesn’t care about what happened in the past, but rather wakes up every morning excited for what lies ahead. She encourages everyone around her to be the best version of themselves that they can be, and sacrifices so many of her desires so that she can serve as many people as possible how they need. She showed me what it looks like to forgive but not forget, how to put up my personal boundaries, and how to work hard to achieve my goals. My mother preaches to live as much like Jesus Christ as we can, and she lives by example. Roxanne has taught me how to be grateful for what I have, and to appreciate every fleeting moment because you never know if or when another one like it will happen. I learned how to listen to what others have to say, because you may be the only person that they can talk to. I learned that working in a team almost never comes easy, but it is so important because everybody has a unique perspective to offer to a project. I began planning for college and careers very early in my life, staying true to my thoroughly ambitious nature. I never worried about my ability to meet a goal, because my mom always encouraged me that my dedication and work ethic will take me to incredible places. Now moving forward, I know that all of my accomplishments, I owe in part to my mom. Her sacrifices ensured that I would have everything I need to get to wherever I want to go. Her working roughly 55 hour weeks just so that I could have financial access to things like AP exams, field trips, extracurricular activities, and other education opportunities drove me to work even harder so that one day, I can treat her just as well as she has treated me. I grew up knowing that I truly can get my dream job, and I have my mother’s full support and encouragement no matter what happens. I always had her ear, her heart, and her helping hands. For that, I could never be more grateful. Should I become financially able as an adult, I would like to do something incredible for her in return for everything she has done for me.

I had a lot of expectations for how the new schoolyear would turn out. All of them were wrong. During the second week of September 2019, one of the boys in my French class started acting very different. His jokes were no longer funny but were filled with odd, threatening statements. “Have you ever thought about shooting up the school?” “Have you ever thought about bombing the school?” “I wanna kill ******. I hate him so much.” “When I turn 18 [in December], I am going to buy a gun.” I tried not to think much of them; after all, he was a high school senior born into one of the most nihilistic generations in history. I told myself to just stay on his good side, offering him paper or pencils when he needed them, helping him with his work, and cracking the occasional joke. One instance, however, made it clear that being on his “good side” was not enough. “Do you want to die? I will come to your house while you’re sleeping and strangle you to death.” I froze. How do you even respond to something like that? Especially when you can how serious the speaker is? That’s when the symptoms began. I’ve struggled with chronic diagnosed anxiety since I was born, but never like this. I barely ate; I woke up at 3 AM every day having night terrors; I, a 15-year-old high school student, had to sleep in my mom’s bed while she rocked me to sleep; I felt like I was being followed everywhere; I was constantly shaking; I missed days of school; I couldn’t go anywhere alone; going out at night was unthinkable. While already struggling with these symptoms, the issues with this boy kept getting worse. He would follow me around the school; he threw a box at my head; he slapped me; he tried to grab me. Nowhere felt safe anymore. I finally decided to report everything on September 27th. I didn’t think it would go anywhere, based on my previous experiences with public school administration. The next thing I know, I was being sat down and told that I would have to talk to the police. After that, I was being told that it was now an official investigation. I could not talk to anyone outside of my immediate family about what was going on. The next 10 months were hell, if I may say so. I started going to therapy immediately in an attempt to lessen my stress and anxiety, considering harmless pranks that my friends would play on me would send me into a heaving panic attack leading to a black-out. In November, I had to give two more statements about everything that happened to me, meaning I continued to miss more school. We were officially informed that evidence had been found regarding the truth of that boy’s threats, including a plan to shoot up my high school, and a hit list with my name on it. In December, I watched my mom, the strongest person I know, crumble into messy sobs as she listened to a voicemail from the district attorney saying that my case was going to trial because someone had the intention to take her daughter’s life away. The first court date wasn’t even until January 29th. When I finally set foot into that courtroom, I had to sit 3 feet directly behind the boy who wanted to murder me. I listened as the conditions of my restraining order against him were announced to the court. Then over the next two weeks, I had to deal with the complications of that same restraining order being filed incorrectly 3 different times. In March, the second day of the trial took place, and nothing happened. After that, quarantine started, delaying the third court date for two months. Every single day, I woke up pleading with God for it to be over. I honestly thought that it would never end. That same month was when my perspective on life changed. My memories shifted from him saying “I will strangle you,” to a different, more common phrase of his: “My parents hate me. I’m such a disappointment.” My heart shattered when I realized this boy did not need harsh discipline. He needed help. He needed love. I realized that when you don’t forgive someone, you're telling them that there is nothing worth remembering about them except for how they hurt you. I didn’t want him to be remembered like that. On July 1, 2020, we were officially notified that he had been charged and that the case was over. The very first thing I did was write a letter that I had his probation officer read to him. In it, I explained that I forgave him and that I hope he knows that he is loved. Recently, I screened positive for severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Insanely, I wasn’t upset. You see, life is not something that we live for ourselves. Life is a blessing given to us so that we can, in turn, bless others. I have a story to share; one that’s full of growth, forgiveness, faith, love, and hope. As long as it went on, my pain did eventually end, and that is what I choose to remember about my experiences. I have goals. There are things that need to be done to improve our planet and our society. There are people that need love, and I know now that I have so much love to offer. I am currently in the process of writing a book, which gives a much more detailed version of this story. I think putting everything out there helps others feel as though someone understands, and when I was in the thick of it, unable to talk to anybody, that is what I needed the most: to be seen, heard, and loved. Therefore, I aspire to see, hear, and love as many people as I can.

I had a lot of expectations for how the new schoolyear would turn out. All of them were wrong. During the second week of September 2019, one of the boys in my French class started acting very different. His jokes were no longer funny but were filled with odd, threatening statements. “Have you ever thought about shooting up the school?” “Have you ever thought about bombing the school?” “I wanna kill ******. I hate him so much.” “When I turn 18 [in December], I am going to buy a gun.” I tried not to think much of them; after all, he was a high school senior born into one of the most nihilistic generations in history. I told myself to just stay on his good side, offering him paper or pencils when he needed them, helping him with his work, and cracking the occasional joke. One instance, however, made it clear that being on his “good side” was not enough. “Do you want to die? I will come to your house while you’re sleeping and strangle you to death.” I froze. How do you even respond to something like that? Especially when you can how serious the speaker is? That’s when the symptoms began. I’ve struggled with chronic diagnosed anxiety since I was born, but never like this. I barely ate; I woke up at 3 AM every day having night terrors; I, a 15-year-old high school student, had to sleep in my mom’s bed while she rocked me to sleep; I felt like I was being followed everywhere; I was constantly shaking; I missed days of school; I couldn’t go anywhere alone; going out at night was unthinkable. While already struggling with these symptoms, the issues with this boy kept getting worse. He would follow me around the school; he threw a box at my head; he slapped me; he tried to grab me. Nowhere felt safe anymore. I finally decided to report everything on September 27th. I didn’t think it would go anywhere, based on my previous experiences with public school administration. The next thing I know, I was being sat down and told that I would have to talk to the police. After that, I was being told that it was now an official investigation. I could not talk to anyone outside of my immediate family about what was going on. The next 10 months were hell, if I may say so. I started going to therapy immediately in an attempt to lessen my stress and anxiety, considering harmless pranks that my friends would play on me would send me into a heaving panic attack leading to a black-out. In November, I had to give two more statements about everything that happened to me, meaning I continued to miss more school. We were officially informed that evidence had been found regarding the truth of that boy’s threats, including a plan to shoot up my high school, and a hit list with my name on it. In December, I watched my mom, the strongest person I know, crumble into messy sobs as she listened to a voicemail from the district attorney saying that my case was going to trial because someone had the intention to take her daughter’s life away. The first court date wasn’t even until January 29th. When I finally set foot into that courtroom, I had to sit 3 feet directly behind the boy who wanted to murder me. I listened as the conditions of my restraining order against him were announced to the court. Then over the next two weeks, I had to deal with the complications of that same restraining order being filed incorrectly 3 different times. In March, the second day of the trial took place, and nothing happened. After that, quarantine started, delaying the third court date for two months. Every single day, I woke up pleading with God for it to be over. I honestly thought that it would never end. That same month was when my perspective on life changed. My memories shifted from him saying “I will strangle you,” to a different, more common phrase of his: “My parents hate me. I’m such a disappointment.” My heart shattered when I realized this boy did not need harsh discipline. He needed help. He needed love. I realized that when you don’t forgive someone, you're telling them that there is nothing worth remembering about them except for how they hurt you. I didn’t want him to be remembered like that. On July 1, 2020, we were officially notified that he had been charged and that the case was over. The very first thing I did was write a letter that I had his probation officer read to him. In it, I explained that I forgave him and that I hope he knows that he is loved. Recently, I screened positive for severe anxiety disorder and PTSD. Insanely, I wasn’t upset. You see, life is not something that we live for ourselves. Life is a blessing given to us so that we can, in turn, bless others. I have a story to share; one that’s full of growth, forgiveness, faith, love, and hope. As long as it went on, my pain did eventually end, and that is what I choose to remember about my experiences. I have goals. There are things that need to be done to improve our planet and our society. There are people that need love, and I know now that I have so much love to offer. I am currently in the process of writing a book, which gives a much more detailed version of this story. I think putting everything out there helps others feel as though someone understands, and when I was in the thick of it, unable to talk to anybody, that is what I needed the most: to be seen, heard, and loved. Therefore, I aspire to see, hear, and love as many people as I can.

It's not a good picture, that's for sure, but it's really important to me, because I [on the left] am still smiling. That picture was taken in October of 2019 during a series of court cases and trials taking place against an 18 year old boy that threatened to take my life. His words were "I will come to your house in your sleep and kill you." I was paranoid, PTSD-stricken, and exhausted. The trial didn't end until July 2020, but I kept smiling. That was bold and challenging for me, but oh so worth it.