When my mother passed away, something inside me went quiet. My voice, once full of melody and confidence, disappeared. My mom always wanted me to be a singer. It was all I did when she was alive. I sang around the house, at family gatherings, and even in public without fear. It was our thing, a bond that connected us in a way nothing else could. But when I lost her, I also lost the passion we shared. Music felt like a reminder of everything I no longer had. So, I stopped singing. I stopped dreaming of stages and stopped looking forward to anything at all. The silence that followed her death wasn’t just external. It lived in me.
In the months after her passing, I felt lost and emotionally numb. Grief became a heavy part of my everyday life, affecting how I moved through the world and how I interacted with others. I struggled to focus, to connect, and even to smile. I didn’t know where to put all the pain I carried. That’s when I found track and field. At first, it wasn’t something I loved. I joined more out of obligation than interest, thinking it might give me something to do, maybe something to distract me. I didn’t enjoy the practices. I hated waking up early, the soreness in my legs, and the pressure to perform. But slowly, without realizing it, I began to depend on those runs. There was something oddly comforting about running in circles. Even though it seemed repetitive, it gave me a sense of control and release. As my legs moved, my mind cleared. Running gave me space to feel my pain without being judged. It became my therapy, my outlet, and eventually, my new passion.
Track didn’t just help me grieve. It helped me rebuild. I became more disciplined, more focused, and more confident. I started showing up not just for the sport, but for myself. It taught me how to channel my emotions into movement, how to push through when things felt too heavy, and how to trust myself again. Track showed me that I could find strength even when I felt broken. I began to realize that maybe my purpose had shifted. Maybe I wasn’t meant to sing in front of crowds anymore, but to carry my story in a different way.
Though I no longer sing like I used to, I carry my mom with me in everything I do. She’s with me at the starting line. She’s with me in every breath I take on the track. My grief is still there, but it no longer controls me. It drives me. I plan to pay it forward by using my story to inspire others. Whether it’s mentoring younger athletes, speaking to kids who have lost a parent, or just being a shoulder to lean on, I want to show people that pain can lead to purpose.
What started as tragedy became a turning point. I may have lost my original voice, but in running, I found a new rhythm, a new reason, and a new way to keep moving forward.