Growing up the son of an Army Soldier, I was surrounded by what many would deem the "Nation's Finest." Honor, respect, and sacrifice was the mantra that I and all my peers upheld as it was expected by our parents and of each other. The military community is a tight-knit one that is void of civilian structure; it doesn't matter if you are Black, White, Male or Female, Tall, Short, Young, Old, etc. We are all an extended family that has no favorites, and each member is viewed equally.
Like all families though, we are not immune from drama. Military life is synonymous with heavy drinking, and infidelity. So much so, we have nicknames for it. A "Jody" is a man who seduces a soldier's wife or girlfriend during his absence; a "blue falcon" is a fellow service member who "screws over" his or her fellow service member. It is not that uncommon for a soldier to receive a “Dear John” letter while they are on a deployment. Each slang, though funny in name, is devastating to a soldier and their family.
My dad served 27 years active duty in the military and in that time, was divorced twice. My uncle, who served 24 years, divorced three times. Staggering, but not uncommon. Military life requires long-term separation from loved ones, putting service to our country as the top priority. The temporary loss of a family member through deployment brings unique stresses to a family in three different stages: pre-deployment, survival, and reunion. Most families adapt to these stresses well. In families without adequate coping skills, however, these stresses can lead to problems that the family presents to the healthcare system.
The Veteran Administration statistics confirm 22 Veterans a day are succumbing to suicide on American soil. This is known as the "22 Veterans Club". The V.A., Veteran Administration, conducts the largest national analysis of Veteran suicide rates each concluding that anxiety, bipolar, depression, TBI, military sexual abuse, PTSD, schizophrenia, and substance use are the primary factors. In 2021, research found that 30,177 active-duty personnel and veterans who served in the military after 9/11 have died by suicide - compared to the 7,057 service members killed in combat in those same 20 years. That is, military suicide rates are four times higher than deaths that occurred during military operations. A sad fact, knowing that we are losing more of our “guys” at home than on the battlefield.
I have been very blessed with a good family life with parents who managed military life well and have stuck it out with each other for 22 years of marriage. I can honestly say, that my mother is the true definition of a leader; selfless, strong, and looks at the broad picture, rather than only her own needs and wants. I do plan to commission into the Navy after college as a means of furthering my dream to become a pediatric endocrinologist. I do one day hope to be married and have kids potentially. Starting a relationship while I am in service will be challenging, especially a long-term one, but looking for a partner who understands what military life entails will make deployments easier for both parties.