In 9th grade, my mother and father engaged in a physical altercation, which resulted in me not conversing with my dad for three years and my father moving out of my house, never to come back. This incident, which lasted less than 30 seconds, would change my life forever as I now inherited new responsibilities and was forced to take on a new role in my household.
In the first months, I was forced to learn how to perform essential home maintenance duties such as unclogging sinks and tubs, repairing cracks in the ceiling, and changing the air filters. At first, that feeling of being lost and stranded on what even to look up and what steps to take to get the job done was frustrating, and I cried for days as I had to come to terms with what had happened and what my future was going to look like without a father figure. I would become very disheartened and frustrated at the world as I constantly asked myself, “Why me? What’d I do to deserve this?” I cut off most of my friends since I could not stomach talking to anybody and hearing about what I thought were their little perfect lives compared to mine. I now realize that crying was very healthy and letting my emotions out is necessary, but at the time, I believed that men should not show emotion, so I hated myself for showing an ounce of pain.
At first, that feeling of being lost with nowhere to go was frustrating, but I have learned to love that feeling as I know I will eventually figure it out; all it takes is patience and thought. The feeling that I felt once I learned, understood, and completed my duties correctly was of great value as the feelings of pride and hard work mix to make a natural high. As months went by and eventually years, I had to learn more advanced skills and took on more duties, such as replacing our laundry dryer’s heating module, cleaning our tankless water heater coils, and making bookshelves from scratch. The skills and knowledge I gained from accomplishing these endeavors are invaluable, as I feel now that I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it. These experiences were uplifting as I had to learn on my own how to do these tasks with only the help of the internet.
I eventually began talking to my close friends about the problems I was facing in my life, and they helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel by giving me positive affirmations and micro-expressions that showed that they cared for me. Through this process, I learned how important it is to talk to others about my feelings, not to suppress my emotions, and to reflect on situations by looking at them from an optimistic point of view. I would even reach out to my father and forgive him for his actions and have been rebuilding our relationship since the start of this year. I am incredibly grateful as the situation taught me how to become emotionally mature with the situation that occurred between my parents.