Imagine being trapped in a room, for days, even weeks on end, and having nothing but an atrocious wallpaper eerily comfort you, as you watch your life fade away due to poor mental health. That was the reality for Jane, the narrator and main character of the story "The Yellow Wallpaper" by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, whose short novel inspired my artwork. Jane was truly alone in her mind, and like many people dealing with mental health complications, only you know the source of your endless pain. “There are things in that paper that nobody knows but me, or ever will” says Jane (652). Inspired by Jane’s character, I wanted to make an art piece that visually reflects the worsening condition of mental health, and how people can be oblivious to another person’s suffering, unless we see it with our own eyes. This digital collage titled, "Jane’s Mind Within The Yellow Wallpaper" (2024), has been my favorite art piece I have made within my 1st semester of sophomore year of college. My art represents Jane’s relationship with the wallpaper, and what she sees in it both literally and figuratively. "The Yellow Wallpaper" describes Jane experiencing postpartum depression in the 19th century. She gets prescribed by her husband a “rest cure,” a real treatment used to “cure” hysterical women. It often includes abuse of medicine, lack of movement, and removing all other entertaining stimuli like writing from their routines. Even Gilman herself survived the “rest cure,” and she used her novel to warn other women about the dangerous practice. The element that inspired me the most when making the collage was the wallpaper itself. Gilman personifies the wallpaper through dark yet curious imagery, which not only made the story more interesting to read, but made the wallpaper feel alive and that us readers should question its behavior. Instead of focusing on patterns like in the original story, I wanted to focus mainly on the color yellow. I often associate yellow with happier feelings such as joy and youthfulness. It was surprising to see yellow being used for the opposite purpose, to strike terror and uneasiness, and I wanted to capture that disorienting effect. I used multiple different shades of torn yellow paper and layered them in an unorganized fashion as my background, to showcase Jane’s broken reality. I then paired the background with unsettling pen and ink images I made, such as glowing yellow eyes crying a single black tear, to reveal the paranoia Jane felt and how miserable she was in isolation. All of the ink drawings illustrate Jane’s condition of being ignored and being denied her needs. Finally, I created a vignette around the entire piece to symbolize Jane’s vision being fixated on the paper. Jane sees herself and other women locked within the paper, yearning to be let free, just like how the hand is reaching out for help. Reading about Jane’s abuse and the history of the “rest cure” really moved me, and made me reflect on my own experience with mental health. As someone who has depression, I too, had experiences where friends and even doctors failed to listen to my voice and dismissed my symptoms, making me feel dehumanized. I channeled those emotions while making the artwork. Even though the “rest cure” happened centuries ago, the story reminded me of current world issues such as the abortion ban, and how there is still a lack of research regarding medicine and its effects on women’s bodies. I hope my art can create further awareness of women’s mental health, promote feminism, and inspire change within the medical world.

I am passionate about art because it has given me the freedom to create worlds without strict rules or judgment. As a result, it has allowed me to grow and adapt to new situations. Additionally, I admire the storytelling aspect of art and how such stories can inspire people to be their true selves. My love for art started with discovering my interest in drawing poses and facial expressions. I would sketch and doodle for hours, looking to see how many different shapes and figures I could make. I’ve always loved to draw people, and even though I embrace a more cartoonish style, I felt it only encouraged me to experiment with different poses as I try to learn anatomy. Drawing facial expressions helped me learn to read body language better and understand the people around me. Growing up, I struggled with social cues and interacting with other kids. I always knew I was different; some days, I felt more isolated and alone. But once my classmates discovered I was an art kid, everything changed. Despite dealing with complications at home and poor self-esteem, that brief attention was the first time I felt accepted into my classroom. I will always remember that first spark of wanting to draw more, even if it was only to impress others. I’m also passionate about art because it has helped me create lifelong friendships. For example, my best friend of over ten years and I started an original story together during the pandemic, one where our original characters had superpowers and saved the world while attending a not-so-normal high school. The experience of writing the story, designing our original characters, and creating artwork was the best way to cope with such stressful events. It has made me more grateful for our dynamic, she accepts me, and her support in my art has allowed me to keep going. Coming from a single-parent home has its ups and downs. I will be forever thankful that my mom is my number one supporter. I always felt proud when she showed off my work to her friends and how she spent time and money for me to attend art classes. I love how she pushes me to continue working hard and share my ideas. On the other hand, my mom and father often argued and soon separated. I couldn’t bear hearing such aggressive fights, so I turned to art as my only escape. I own it my life; it saved me from a time when I doubted my presence in the world. It filled my life with loving original characters. And it introduced me to new stories and shows from different artists that helped me overcome these dangerous obstacles. I want to create stories. I want to make characters that people love and relate to. I also want to write about deep and emotional experiences. Although they can be dark and scary, they are worth addressing because they can help a person in need and bring healing and community to the situation. I want to write about love, friendship, hardships, and heartache, all core elements of early adulthood and beyond. Wherever my art journey takes me, I will be creative and adventurous, knowing that I want to inspire people with my art and be there for people during challenges in life. I want to show people there is hope during tough times, and if my art can act as a beacon of light and comfort for others, then it will make creating and storytelling worth it.

My love of art stemmed from doing what any kid in the early 2000s was doing: watching the best cartoon show ever, Spongebob Squarepants, in the living room while eating breakfast. It's bright and early. I am sitting inches away from the tv, fixated on the vivid colors and moving pictures. I'm singing along to the intro of Spongebob Squarepants, always amazed at how Spongebob can be so bubbly and ridiculous simultaneously. I then imagine myself working at the Crusty Crab, enjoying the company of Patrick and Squidward while enjoying life in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob Squarepants highlighted my life and my art in many ways. It made me love to draw expressions. How Spongebob can capture so many unique emotions, from blissful to disgust to horror, was mesmerizing. It made me realize that the emotions we feel can be, well, explosive and sometimes even "ugly." But, if you learn to wear those faces with confidence and pride, you can truly feel accepted in your surroundings. Growing up, I always felt ashamed of my big emotions and was told I was disrupting others. As a result, I began to bottle up my feelings. Art was the only place I could feel like myself. I could draw and be at peace without worrying about pleasing adults. There, I learned to recognize my emotional states and truly understand the meaning of self-love, that even during times of stress, you have to put yourself first. It might come across as selfish, but drawing wonderful faces on my homework assignments while stressed out of my mind helped me understand how to read body language better and feel closer to the original characters I created in my head. I also loved Spongebob for the colors the environment brought out. I always identified as a pessimistic person on the outside, wearing black clothing and trying to be as invisible as possible. But on the inside, I believe I still hold that child-like wonder that kept me sane. I picture the jellyfish fields in Spongebob, with the pink and purple coral, the flower-like clouds, and the iconic air bubbles rising to the surface. Such landscapes made me see the real world in the same light, making me want to learn more about color theory. Even though this place is fictional, it always reminds me to look on the bright side of things, no matter how rough the world may seem. My favorite artist is Vincent van Gogh because he gave movement and life to his pieces, but also how he connects with his art emotionally. My favorite painting of his is The Starry Night. I found it interesting that such small details can build a soft yet powerful moving sky. The way the moon glows beautifully yet mysteriously. And like van Gogh, I can be a mess at times, but I admire how persistent van Gogh was in painting, even during the worst period of his life. While I am still learning how mental illness affects my life, this painting reminds me to keep going. I know I am far from perfect in art and early adulthood. But I am excited to continue my artistic journey! And while van Gogh and Spongebob seem drastically different from each other, they bold hold a special place in my heart. Van Gogh displays excellent color choices, choppy brushstrokes, and charming landscapes. Meanwhile, Spongebob captures my love for curiosity, facial expressions, and character development. I hope to develop a story with my original characters that are visually appealing and comforting to people during hardship.