Recently, I rewatched Lilo and Stitch since I had not seen it in years. I had forgotten how much that pair of siblings go through in this movie. As the youngest child in my family, I always expected to feel more for Lilo. However, with my latest watching, I could not help but feel more of the pain and love from Nani. Though I cannot relate directly to Nani, with her being the older sibling and guardian of Lilo, the movie develops her character so strongly that she has become my favorite Disney character. Her undeniable support for Lilo, even when she loses her job and job opportunities because of Lilo and Stich, is admirable. I cannot even imagine raising a sibling after losing our parents in a car crash. And then having that sibling under threat of being removed from custody would add even more stress that would have been enough to force anyone to give up. It is unbelievable what Nani had to endure, yet she did all of it while trying to prevent Lilo from feeling any blame for what was at stake. While she does have understandable outbursts, Nani tries to make sure that Lilo is able to be a child and her whole self even when others do not understand or accept who Lilo is. For many, I think this bond Nani has with Lilo was unique to this movie. Even more special, perhaps even still to this day, is just how far she would go for Lilo. I think the movie's more mundane moments---with her trying her best to keep custody of Lilo and find a new job---highlight how strong she is in the face of the extraterrestrial. When Nani interacts with the other aliens, her focus remains on getting Lilo back. Her drive for family transcends everything else, even if that hurts her in other aspects. I feel both astonished at her capabilities and sad over what she has gone through. Nani represents how a selfless and flawed person would react to struggles in the real world, and this believability has easily made her my favorite Disney Character.

While playing the game NieR:Automata, I fell in love with its soundtrack. One track, in particular, earned a special place in my heart: “Peaceful Sleep.” The first time I heard it in-game, I knew I would be listening to it for years to come. As suggested by its name, the song has a certain gentle quality to it, one that no other music has been able to capture for me. “Peaceful Sleep” was written in a futuristic language, its lyrics designed to be incomprehensible. Despite this, it still feels as though the song’s meaning can be interpreted. To me, the song represents a moment of rest during one’s challenging journey. Since I have played NieR, I have leaned on this song to provide me with respite from my struggles. While I do have a playlist of relaxing music, more often than not, I just put this song on repeat. How the song prioritizes peace in an unpeaceful world is extremely impactful and inspiring to me. It often seems like a song of resistance, of purposely choosing yourself amongst a crumbling world. Since life is so chaotic, especially during school, I fully embrace the song’s plea for peace. The fact that the lyrics are indecipherable only adds to that serenity; since I cannot understand the words, I can only let them carry me to finding my own defined peace.

Once I finish studying animation in college, I want to go into a gratifying career in the animation industry, working on TV shows. After that, I want to one day operate my own animation studio to produce unique stories not limited by brands or companies. Along the way to that peak aspiration, I want to have created multiple comics and short films—maybe even a game—just anything to keep me creative and constructing meaningful worlds.

Some of the earliest films I can remember watching were animated; several of these films were made by Studio Ghibli. One of the co-founders of this animation studio, Hayao Miyazaki, has been incredibly influential in helping me understand what I want from my animation and artistic aesthetic. I admire his dedication to 2D animation and fantastical stories that focus on personal growth and take place in beautiful settings. The detail in backgrounds, especially the ones that showcase nature, have shaped the fantasy art I create. I have been creating art since childhood and am now in the BFA animation program at DePaul University. I am also minoring in illustration to hone creating effective and extensive backgrounds. Since my artistic journey began, I have decided to focus on understanding what I like within the media I consume and the nature I see. I enjoy the subtle and personal animation and backgrounds within Studio Ghibli films, and often, I stop mid-walk to see and photograph how the light falls and how the trees wave in the wind. I work to understand and capture specific characteristics that catch my eye; this analysis and later implication allow me to understand what works when creating art and what does not. With this constant examination of media and life, I hope to be able to tell my own lasting stories in the beautiful and detailed settings I love. I do not want to just replicate what I see but to take what is good and put my own spin on it. With all the experience I gain from my degree program, I will combine my illustration knowledge and animation skills to create high-leveled pieces of media. After I graduate, I plan to find a job in television animation, using my knowledge of what works and what does not to support my fantastical stories. Like I was influenced by the works of Studio Ghibli, I want to influence an audience and share my love of the world, to create something that makes you stop and notice the subtleties of animation, of detail. It is undoubtedly easier and time- and money-saving to create something simple, but I do not believe that produces the same experience or appreciation of the art seen. Drawing from the story and background complexities Hayao Miyazaki put into his films, I have been inspired to create my own detailed magical art and animation. I believe it would be deeply fulfilling to make worlds meaningful and reasonable to me and have them seen by others. I want to influence others to stop and appreciate what I have developed for the chance to inspire viewers to create their own worlds.

When dealing with conflict, sometimes I get locked into the present. It is easy for things to overwhelm me and to feel like their consumption of me is inevitable. What breaks me out of this mindset, though, is remembering everything else I have been through in my life. From elementary school to high school to now in college, there has been myriad awful news, developments, and setbacks. But no matter what, I have gotten through it. Anything the world has thrown my family’s way, we continue another day. This persistence has kept me going, almost a mantra: we will get through this, we must. The trouble will pass because it always has. I try to avoid thinking negative or damning thoughts, ones that would even suggest failure could happen. This mindset does not dismiss the badness of the world and our lives in a way toxic positivity would but instead invites me to think of all the possibilities once we get to the other side. Past me could not have imagined here, overcome with worry and stress, yet here I stand, not consumed. Getting through conflict is not easy in the slightest, but thinking about what I have gotten through before gives me the strength to keep moving forward toward better days because there will always be better days.

Close by, in my city’s downtown, there is the Olathe Civic Park, with fountains and flowers and sculptures dispersed around. Some sculptures have been switched out over the years, but my favorite remains: Sprout by Beth Nybeck. With metal crescents resting upon each other as they ascend, it is hard to miss in an area with more compact sculptures. As the crescents all build height off of each other, I have taken the sculpture to represent the fact that to grow, we need to depend on others. While logically, I understand that the whole sculpture must be incredibly heavy, it has such a lightness to it. Sprout raises me up with its ascending crescents. This lightness makes change feel so possible, sprouting up from us as the name suggests. Often when I find myself in the area, I instinctively move toward the sculpture. Sitting on the bench before it, I enjoy seeing how light bounces off the metal. I have spent many quiet sunsets just looking at it, watching it get cast in red as the day ends. In any other place, Sprout would not have the same meaning. But in the Civic Park, surrounded by waving lavender and bustling bees, it has become an essential piece of the environment. When we drive by it, I feel a calmness and appreciation over the work and artistry Beth Nybeck put into creating a metal piece, a medium predisposed to coldness, so warm and inspiring. Given its location, there is no doubt it has become a beacon of hope and prosperity for my community. It is a welcome reminder that together, we can all sprout.

On day one of college, I was anxiously alone. That first week, I ate quickly in the dining hall so I could hurry back to my dorm. There, I could be by myself without a problem. But in front of others, I felt invisible eyes watching my every moment, making me self-conscious of every action. A few months later, the anxiety of eating alone remained, but I did not have to deal with that as I had made a friend I ate and went to events with. One week, though, we had a falling out. I was alone again. There came an event that I wanted to attend, but I was afraid. It was a poetry night, my favorite type of event. I went, alone. By then, I had some practice at being alone now that I had to eat without anyone else. And once at this event, it finally clicked: no one was judging me. Only I was. Everyone else was focused on the poet, focused on their own lives. Out of my sadness and losing a constant companion, I gained the ability and confidence to be myself by myself. From then on, I ate alone without worry, taking as long as I needed to. I went to any event I saw, even when other friends could not attend. I walked around the neighborhood and city without fear, exploring wherever and whenever. I finally enjoyed my own time when, for so long, I had blotted out that seemingly scary experience by being constantly surrounded by others. Now, I am confident in my ability to simply exist by understanding the felt judgment I perceived stemmed only from myself.

Recently, I watched The Cat Returns, a Studio Ghibli film, in theaters as part of Ghibli Fest. A few weeks before that, I saw the Bob’s Burgers movie. These films have in common that they are both 2D animated, unusual for an age where all other studio movies are 3D, especially considering the Bob’s Burgers movie came out this year. Stylewise, there is a unique beauty to Studio Ghibli films that I have been working to develop my own style by improving my background compositions and 2D skills. I have always looked towards this studio when considering an aesthetic for my art. In a world of CG-animated media, I want to keep 2D alive. The Bob’s Burgers movie reminded me of how beautiful 2D can look on the big screen, with brush strokes and a liveliness that could only be created by a person’s hard work over countless hours. While there are certain benefits to 3D animation and the versatility of hybrid animation that combines the best of both 2D and 3D, I want future generations to experience the magicalness that I experienced with Studio Ghibli. Because of this desire, I am studying animation and plan to have my focus area on traditional animation. Knowing that someone worked on every single frame, and having hand-drawn animations myself, provides something so special to animation that must carry on in a 3D world, something I plan to carry on with my studies and hard work.

Two of my classes last quarter were critique-heavy. I know this is to be expected in an arts field, but I was afraid, anxious about what people would not like about what I created. The hours put into my work made me sensitive and vulnerable to anything said in class. However, one professor reminded us that this was not an attack on our art or ourselves, just a way to improve our skills. My other professor said that we did not have to take everything that was said in class: we just had to try and incorporate feedback. He said we did not want to be known as difficult because that would affect our career prospects. If I wanted to grow, I would have to accept my work being perceived and judged. And in some of my classes this quarter, this remains true. I cannot hide away and not learn anything; I have to embrace criticism and grow from it, take what helps me, and get better at creating if I want to make the art and get the jobs I want.

Once I returned to my dorm after spring break, I took a long look around my room. On my desk, there was my teapot, clean and ready for use. To celebrate getting through the last two quarters and get ready for the final one of my first year, I decided to make rose tea. However, when I would get the tea’s jar out, I would see only a few buds left. I did not want to seem like I would be wasting them, so I thought about whether I should just wait to drink it for a more special day. Then I thought, why does it have to be special? Can I not enjoy something by itself? I decided to brew a pot and then looked at the white rose I keep on my desk. Wilted, from Valentine’s day, yet there was still something about it that made me keep it around. Seeing this rose, making rose tea, I thought it would be almost poetic–but mainly funny–to combine them in an art piece. I had not made any art for myself in nearly a month, stuck focusing on finals. This piece became an easy way to get back into making something beyond school. And while I initially thought that day was not special, it would become so in the end. Once I got started, the piece took on a life and meaning of its own. Whereas it was supposed to be lighthearted, I found myself putting thought into each stroke, each highlight, each shadow. I had not had a lot of time to reflect during spring break about freshman year, nor what I would want to do now so close to the end. It felt like I had almost gone on auto-pilot, the quarter system speeding by without a stop, without any rest. But now, the day before spring quarter began, I had no school to consume me, just this painting. I sat there, examining the photos, creating something new from them, and drinking the rose tea. It was as though in went the tea, and out it went, a cycle of consumption and creation, connecting me to it in a way I did not think possible, no assignments to distract me from being in the moment. Many conflicts went into this–the last of the tea on a day deemed not special, school beginning again the next day–and out came clarity and a release of the built-up stress and anxieties from the past quarters. After finishing the piece, I was ready to get through this final stretch, reaffirmed of myself and my abilities.

I chose to go to DePaul University because it has one of the best animation programs in the nation, along with it being in the vibrant and diverse city of Chicago. I wanted my education to be as accurate and relevant as possible, taught by passionate and critical industry pros. Being in immersive classes allows me to improve my creative skills and make a portfolio that will get the jobs I want in TV Animation. The degree I'm pursuing, a Bachelor's of the Fine Arts with a Concentration in Cinema, will allow me to focus and hone desirable and relevant abilities to better prepare me for entering the animation industry and be industry-ready. With my degree, I plan to work as a full-time animator while also having personal projects on the side, like making a comic. One day, I want to lead my own studio and have large-scale projects. To make my way there, I plan to start in rough animation–like doing in-betweens–and then slowly work my way to the top by becoming a senior animator and then later a director. Throughout all of these positions, I want to continuously develop and hone my animation and storytelling skills to honor the stories I grew up with and adored. I was inspired by animation at a young age, creating fantasy worlds in response to the ones I saw, and I want to pass this love and inspiration along. But an observation I remember making, and continue to make today about the media, is how few characters looked or had stories like me, my family, and my friends. Though Chicago is more diverse, with plenty of cultural murals to see, white stories are still expected in entertainment, lest there be backlash. In my storyboarding class, there's paper across the tables, and near me, a white student is always drawing the same style of girl: skin left white as the paper, slightly wavy hair, and European facial features. Seeing this, I decided to draw as well, buy characters with broad noses, curly hair on one, and brown skin. Lack of representation makes it seem like only one type of character–only one type of person–is desirable. I want to change and disprove this limiting standard by featuring diverse characters and cultures in my art. And through having my own studio, I would be able to share uncensored stories without fear of management and profit looming over my head. I want my art to remain faithful to my vision and have the means to create the art I want and know we need. It would be fulfilling to lift up marginalized creators and stories and support them, providing representation to those who have always been cast to the side.

After hours of sketching, lining, coloring, and rendering, there is nothing more satisfying to me than being able to finally declare a piece done and share it with the world. It is always amazing to me to see how much a piece changes from flat colors to fully lit and shaded, and then being able to show that finished work off is extremely gratifying. What inspired me to go into art was the animation and beauty of How to Train Your Dragon; being able to have positive reactions from others about my own work and maybe cause them to pick up or continue doing art–or simply to appreciate the world which I have built–is my main art goal and motivator. I want to inspire and inflame someone else's love for the art process and the art final. I am always looking to go bigger with my artworks and cause a bigger reaction in those who see my art. The art process can be daunting every time a piece begins, with it initially looking so bare and skeletal. But with enough time and perseverance, the final product always makes up for an unsure beginning. However, a downside to this strive for making the best art possible is that it can take multiple hours over multiple days for me to feel like a piece is ready to be shown to others. As a college student, I have to juggle making my art, doing assignments for my classes, and finding work to pay for my education. Recently, I got a job. Unpaid. The job is an illustrator and animator position for the online magazine 14 East, run by DePaul students. I was intrigued by it, having connected with the magazine at the beginning of school, and immediately applied when I saw the email saying they were looking for illustrators. I have always loved newspapers and how they build and share their community. Now, I get to be a part of this publication, but that leaves even less time for looking for paid work. I want to be able to support myself by choosing the jobs I want to take on, not being forced into them just to make ends meet. This scholarship would help lessen that financial stress as I navigate and find my place within the art world. By having less focus and energy directed toward looking at jobs, I can redirect that freed time toward creating and sharing art.

Since I have gotten to college, doubts over my career path have crept up: Is this major what I want? Will I make money with this art career? Will I be able to survive? But in these doubts, I remember what has gotten me through rough times, connected me to others, and inspired me to create: animation. By taking a deep breath, I remember where it started, with seven-year-old me watching How To Train Your Dragon. To be true to me, I have to let these doubts go and understand they result from a society that simultaneously consumes art while devaluing the creators. It is not always easy, especially when thinking of the state of the entertainment industry, but by focusing on my past and my passion, I can overcome my doubts. No matter what may happen, I will find a way to share my love with the world. And by being able to say this so definitively, I am slowly guarding myself against future doubts.

In high school, I would try to visit different clubs and bands, ready to give anything a shot. Then before college, my sibling recommended that I look up involvement accounts, and I did because I knew I did not just want to go to class and call that my college experience. I love exploring who I am and finding new friends and interests by attending various events. I keep my eyes peeled for anything and everything, from the involvement fairs at the beginning of school where I signed up for way too many newsletters to a surprise ice cream social after spring break. I have even been to events that I thought I never would attend, from a frat celebrating their founder’s week to a country night most recently. If I see something interesting, I will go and be involved with any activities the event has, whether that be stamping leather bracelets or bull riding. Side note, I am not good at bull riding in the slightest, and that is perfectly fine with me. Some things just do not stick. But by being adventurous, I am able to find, through wins and losses, what I like and what I want to continue to do.

In 2021, my friend and I, after being inspired by our junior-year environmental science class, decided we wanted to begin cleaning up parks. So we went out into the biting weather and discovered a wide variety of trash: old metal, broken glass, cigarettes, and plastic bags upon plastic bags. Over a few days, we had filled multiple bags with trash and some with recycling. Now in college, I keep an eye out on campus for litter to pick up. Nature is one of my favorite solitudes, so by cleaning it up, I am able to make sure everyone can enjoy it, from fellow students to the local wildlife. These cleanups may seem small, but my mood has always soured upon seeing trash, especially when disposal bins are nearby. By picking up trash, I feel better about the state of my campus, and I know that other people will no longer have their moods ruined like mine.

This pandemic has proven how precarious our lives are. It has made me realize how dreadful and limiting it would be to get stuck doing the same thing in order to survive. Realize how lives are dangling by a thin, thin thread. I wish for a future where I am able to do everything out of want--and nothing out of need. I want a job because of only that, a want. I want to share my art and impact others with it. I want a garden where I grow my own crops and flowers to enjoy and share with my community. I want to be self-sustaining and have enough to give out freely so others may be as well. I want peace. I want boredom! These turbulent past few years have proved how boring is not a bad thing. I want to be able to languish around a tiny home and not be afraid of anything happening if I need a long break from the outside world. But I also want deadlines, self-imposed ones or by my job, so I stay ready to work and produce art and animation to be shared with those around the world. Simply put, I want the freedom of choice for any and all aspects of my life.

In elementary school, I remember reading several books a week, consumed by their characters and their magical worlds. In middle school, I sped through series after series. More recently, in 2019, I set myself a reading goal to read 100 books that year. And I did. Reading has always been one of my preferred escapisms. I love being able to feel what another does within the lines of a page. Feel their pain, their happiness, laugh with them, cry with them. But, as of late, when I am free or taking a break from college, I have turned to games instead, and the loss of books has been evident to me. As an animation student, I am already on screens daily for hours at a time. Reading physical books had been a way for me to step away from technologies and distractions, to be immersed fully within a story. This year, I have set a reading goal of 50 books. Without reading, I have felt tired and restless. My breaks felt ineffective because it was just going between screens. I hope this goal will allow me to revive my reading passion and love of stories that inspire me, move me, leave me thinking about them well after putting them down. I want to be a compelling storyteller, and reading other people's stories has undoubtedly helped me in the past. From crafting a realistic world to the perfect plot twist, I forgot how much I could learn from books. Reading improves my own writing while also allowing me to connect personally with something and get away from my own problems. Like what they say, you do not know what you have until you lose it. This lifesaver got me through my childhood, and I am ready to embrace it once more to get through the difficulties and stresses of college.

In the tenth episode of the second book of the webtoon Aerial Magic, I found myself relating heavily to the concerns of Cecily Moon. I realized that I shared the same fear as her, the fear of being controlling, of thinking that you know best. And when she shared this fear, she withdrew, leading to another shared fear: vulnerability. I had thought of these fears before yet never had a way to put them into words. I often worry that I am subtly leading people to do what I believe best instead of letting them choose entirely for themselves. I question myself if I am a manipulative, bad person. But by being able to identify and name these fears, I am able to work on them. Like Cecily throughout the rest of the book, I am now watching my words and being more of an active listener than an advice-giver.

I am an artist in many ways: an animation student, a developing illustrator, a past percussionist, a music connoisseur, and an overall appreciator of all art forms. Being inspired by animated films as a child has led me to study animation at DePaul University. Here, I will be learning and honing a variety of skills so I can become an official multi-hyphenated creative and leave a mark in the animation field. I want to become a successful world builder that inspires the next generation of complex and passionate artists and share my numerous ideas and stories with the whole world.

Ever since I could hold a crayon, I have been an artist. But the art I make today often relates to the many, many assignments I have to do. Recently, I went to an event held by my college's writing center. The activity they had planned? Coloring pages. It was a stressful week, and I used this event to take my mind off of all I still had to do. When filling in my coloring page, I felt myself relax, the repetitive marker motions erasing my worries. Making this physical art, where I spend hours daily on screens, reminded me of how I felt as a kid. That peace, filling in the lines--and maybe going out of them, no judgment there--and only thinking about what color to use next. Art provides us an escape from our anxieties, the movements grounding us and giving immediate marks. There is no prolonged stress of deadlines, just creating. At the event, I was able to share something personal with those around me. Sharing what I have made often makes me anxious, afraid of criticism from surrounding eyes. But the writing center's atmosphere was free of judgment, with everyone showcasing their final pages and talking about the colors they chose and what everything meant to them. Art is an intimate experience, and when removed from learned stress and criticism, it reveals buried human connections: the desire to be seen through what we create. Through sharing various art forms, we are offering ourselves to be perceived. Art allows us to be vulnerable, with ourselves and others, by removing ourselves from a society built to judge and quantify. I have always been an artist. For a long time, however, I think I had lost the vulnerability and earnestness I felt at this event for a long time. Art takes a different meaning when it is going to be graded. When I was filling in the lines of my Valentine's-themed penguin coloring page, there was no criteria, no deadline. Just me in the moment, surrounded by others asking to borrow a marker. And how I felt stuck with me: unburdened. I felt impassioned to create something for myself, full of meaning and not for school. Art motivates and frees its creator, and this event reminded me why I have been following this artist path since I was a child: to share myself. Though sharing has become scary as I have grown, in the past and at this event, no one was worried about subjective quality, focused on creating alone. As I move towards a career in animation, I will remember my coloring page and that ability to remove myself from the eyes of judgment to create freely and with meaning.

What motivates me daily are my friends. I love being able to see all of them progressing along their journeys and making headway towards finding what works for them, towards their dreams, no matter what. Seeing them being unequivocally them, during rough times or not, reminds me to keep working on myself so that we can all succeed together. I want to see each one of us achieve our hopes and dreams, and I know we can do so together as long as we support one another. So what inspires me is my friends, especially my art friends. Seeing them improve their skills makes me want to improve mine as well, and having fellow animation friends allows me to share my ideas and art with them and be critiqued without fear or shame. I strive forward with my art dreams because I know they will do the same; we keep each other in check and motivated. If I am struggling, they are there to lift me up, and I am always ready to return the favor. Their strengths fuel my own, and their weak moments remind me to check myself. My friends are my motivators because seeing them try their hardest helps me to tackle my own challenges.

I have always daydreamed, spent hours exploring a variety of stories and their worlds, whenever and wherever. Whenever I draw, I already have a world ready to enter and illuminate and illustrate. However, I did not realize how important this was to have ideas bursting forth all the time until high school. I found myself at the lead on team projects, ready to provide a blueprint for whatever the project required. For my final animation project in high school, I teamed up with my friend, and within a beat, I had characters and a story ready to hone in on for us. This is not saying that every single idea I have is good or successful--all need to be edited many, many times--but that I can quickly come up with a plan and save time by providing a story to bounce off of and develop into something stronger. This skill was definitely helpful on the previously mentioned final project because we had only a few weeks to complete it. My quick thinking has allowed me to make projects, school or personal, more straightforward and accomplishable by providing ideas to expand on early into working on them.

While researching paintings for a college final, I came across The Magic Apple Tree by Samuel Palmer. Immediately, I was drawn into the vibrancy and brightness and inherent magic of the scene. The painting holds in it a certain softness and peaceful calm that I want within my life and fantastical stories. The texture and composition have high intrinsic value that I knew I had to try and replicate for my final. I made a special effort in my project to improve on my texturing abilities and appreciate the pseudo-impressionist style which I have always loved. The painting, with its warm palette, inspired me to expand my own pieces into warmer and lighter territories because I have often kept to colder and darker palettes. This painting has reminded me to step outside of my comfort zone through its design and palette to better create art that draws my audience in immediately.

Going into college, I did not fully consider the reality that all new friends and classmates I met would be coming from different lifestyles and varying degrees of acceptance. I had gotten used to what I had known from my friend group, a diverse collection of people who were queer and getting comfortable in their own skin. A group where correct pronouns were known and used freely. The first week of college, I became friends with someone who did not already have this background of acceptance and respect that my friends and I had together. In our immersion class together, this friend gave her pronouns as she/they; in meeting new people outside of class, as she/her. Noticing this, I took her aside and asked which ones they felt more comfortable with, and they responded that they were figuring it out still. Later on, I would use “them” to describe them and was able to see how their eyes light up; each time I used it would elicit the same gleeful reaction. Many conversations around transitioning or being genderqueer often focus on gender dysphoria. With my allyship to the gender-nonconforming and transgender community, however, I am able to bring about gender euphoria to those who may need it the most, to those who may not have experienced what it is like for friends to respect their core identity. I believe an essential component of being an ally is recognizing privilege, even if you are already a part of a marginalized group. I look at life through the lens of multiple marginalized identities, but I will always be cisgender. After meeting so many new queer people, I remembered how important it is to take a step back and think about what you can provide and elevate rather than focusing on centering yourself in discourse. To remember that I do not have to understand every experience, only be there to support others wholeheartedly in the ways they need it. I will never comprehend how it feels to be called by the pronouns which truly fit you after spending your whole life being called anything but, but the joy on their face made it obvious how impactful that action was. This meeting reminded me that many do not have the accepting and diverse friends that I do. In response to this, I can then become one of those friends to any who need it by allowing them to be fully them, even through something as seemingly simple as asking for someone’s pronouns--and using them.

Where patience has paid off for me is when doing paintings. Whether digital or traditional, it is often easy for me to get discouraged by the lack of immediate results. I can get stuck thinking that the final product will not be what I imagined when I had not finished putting the work into it. It is easy for me to get stuck in a loop of comparing my artwork to the finished pieces of my favorite artists or friends, who very well may have been feeling the same uncertainty of their progress as well or took a long time in creating it. Lately, I have been hearing "trust the process" a lot, which I have taken to mean having patience with your work and allowing it to flourish over time rather than trying to rush to the final product and getting upset when it takes time to get there. By trusting the process, I am able to lessen the stress on me; by being patient with myself, I can focus entirely on getting to my destination rather than focusing on the destination and getting frustrated when I am not there already.

To keep a growth mindset in life, I remember where I have come from artistically. Sometimes it feels like my creativity and skills have stagnated, but then I see my old art and notice the difference. It can be easy for me not to recognize progress when in the middle of it, but looking to the past makes me proud of how far I had gone without even realizing it. And looking back makes me excited for where I will go from here. I then apply this logic to other areas where it may not be as easy or possible to look back, and it reminds me that not all progress is noticeable in the moment, but that does not mean it is not happening. If I want to go a step further, sometimes I'll redraw an old piece just to see how far I have come with my artistic abilities. Remembering and examining my old artwork pushes me to keep working so that someday, I will be able to look back at my current pieces with fondness and see the progress made once more.

During the quarantine last year, my older sister let me read some of her assigned college reading. They were all more academic than what I experienced before, but each had such knowledge to be found within each one. One novel, The Mushroom at the End of the World, had a thoughtful quote that has stayed with me until this day: “without progress, what is struggle?” At the time--and continuing to today--the media was filled with bad news: COVID-19, police brutality, climate change, there seemed to be no end. It was easy just to become apathetic, accept the bad for all there was in the world. But this quote almost rephrased the news, emphasizing what struggle could, and would, create. It meant that all of the pain in life did not have to be in vain, that challenges must lead to progress. This quote reminded me to take a step back and realize how much work people had done over the years, opening paths that had seemed like dead-ends. COVID-19 has made us think broader, beyond just ourselves; police are finally starting to be held accountable, with new laws being put in place; and more countries and companies are listening to activists and working to lessen their environmental impacts. So while bad news continues to be highlighted, seemingly overwhelming, I know there is also good news to be found. Amongst all of the despair in the world, I feel hope and hold on to it, believing that life will be made better with our struggle.

If there is one thing I love to draw, it is landscapes. From rolling fields to floating islands to mountain scenery, there is just something about the natural world that I love. But for the first assignment in my digital painting class, we had to create an interior scene based on a cinema palette. I was not expecting this at all and dreaded beginning to work on it because the thought of having to be geometric and confined sounded so restrictive. Having finished the assignment now, though, I am glad for this chance to get out of my comfort zone because that is what school is for: pushing you beyond your limits and challenging yourself. I am excited to see where I can go art-wise this school year with similar assignments that stretch me beyond what I have gotten used to; I plan to learn from every assignment--especially the ones I think I will not enjoy--and remain bold by meeting them head-on.

From a young age, I have always been enchanted by animation and art. After watching How To Train Your Dragon, I suddenly knew what I wanted to do as a career: create animations and fantasy worlds. To propel me to achieve this goal, I applied for a media program in my high school, got in, and followed the animation branch. Here, I got into digital art and experimented with various art programs. And now, I am studying animation at DePaul University in Chicago to continue on my art journey. What has excited me the most about living here is being surrounded by so many new passionate people, all with their unique aspirations and drives, and the city's art. The art here--from green spaces to the statues to murals--has motivated me to keep creating and reassured me that this is the perfect place to be. DePaul itself is unique as it follows the Vincentian mission and question of “what must be done?” At home, I volunteered at our regional food bank, Harvesters, and also worked on cleaning up a nearby park with a friend, so I admire the focus on students and staff doing what they can to lessen the problems in our world. I hope to find a local food bank--or truly anywhere that needs aid--here to continue my volunteering because I have seen just how impactful one person’s actions can be to others. Recently, my immersion class went to Little Village to see Yollocalli’s garden project; staff told us that the garden itself was three years in the making, with work starting only after someone saw an empty parking lot and decided to do something with it. Besides the garden, they also have several creative programs like a radio station led by youths and another to create the neighborhood's next mural. Yollocalli’s focus on improving their community through the arts made me see how connected art and activism and life itself could be. They have shown me how you can have art and service in the same place, and I know I want to focus on both since they give back to those around you, just in different ways. If possible, I would love to join their team, but for now, I will look at volunteering through my university since they have a strong service message. I want to do “what must be done” while balancing my animation and art goals. In college, I hope to pursue what has inspired me, from How To Train Your Dragon in the past to Yollocalli's and DePaul’s mission. And by pursuing these, I hope to find meaning in what I create and what I do. I know surrounding myself with ambitious and caring people will help me to stay on track for this as well. I want to have a life well-lived, one where I remain motivated each day. There is a lot for me to learn, and even more to do, but I am ready and excited to make a mark and change in the world, whether big or small. Being able to inspire others like I have been inspired would be the greatest honor to achieve because then I would know that I was successfully able to give back to the world.

Since I was seven years old, I knew animation was the path for me. After watching How To Train Your Dragon, I knew I wanted to create motion and life with my hands. Thus began me drawing, experimenting, and learning from anything I saw, whether it was a professional movie or a YouTuber's animations. In high school, I joined the animation branch of my 21st-century program to grow my 2D and 3D skills in multiple programs. This was also when I began to focus on digital art in general; before, I had been limited to my phone and a stylus, but finally, I had access to Photoshop and a Wacom tablet to create concept art and illustrations. I spent a lot of quarantine just working on creating characters and building their worlds. Now, I will be attending DePaul University to study cinematic animation so that I can bring these characters to life and share them with others. As an artist and woman of color, I want my art to provide the representation I remember wishing for as a child. I so highly valued shows like Static Shock then or like Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts now because I was able to see leads beyond just white men. By pursuing animation, I want to continue the trend of creating more inclusive shows, which in turn will help us build a more inclusive society since media can easily reach across the globe and change lives by showing lives different from our own, yet just like ours. With my art and animations, I want to create magical worlds for people to get lost in, full of diverse and complex characters, that will reassure the viewer that they are not alone, that there are others like them. And maybe, I will be able to inspire the next generation to create life just like I was.

I always knew that I was not straight in some way, but me being me, I just never mentioned it. I did not think it was that big of a deal since straight people did not have to announce that they were straight. This was just another detail about myself that I kept to myself as a generally reserved person. But in my privateness and quietness, people of all kinds made friends with me. After realizing that not everyone was like me, I had come to expect people to say something bigoted, and each time it hurt because I thought I had finally found someone that I could be unconditionally me with. So when I entered high school, it was heartbreaking when the number of small-minded people grew. For three years, I did drumline, and it was painful. There were constant homophobic remarks thrown around by the other students. And I said nothing. I was ashamed not to have done anything at all, but I was more scared of what would happen if I did. These were older boys, and who knew how they would react if I fully called them out. I had no support system to yet deal with the repercussions, so I remained uncomfortable within my own skin. So once my sister invited me to join her at a GSA meeting, I jumped at the chance. And everything that I faced at band lessened; I was able to deal with it because of these people like me, all kinds of not-straight. Just from their presence could I breathe and forget, for however briefly, the discrimination at our school. And this made me realize how important it was to have a safe space for people to retreat to, away from a world that often hates them. Once in college, I plan on joining a similar gender and sexuality group to help those who have not yet been supported against hate. I was lucky to have a great sister and great students and teachers at my high school, so I will be spreading their compassion and acceptance. I want to give everyone a quiet and mutual acceptance I have always wanted. And now, with years of dealing with hate and being supported throughout all of it, I am no longer afraid of calling people out. LGBTQ+ students should not have to suffer in silence, in fear. I want to let my fellow classmates know that no matter how quiet or loud they are about their identities, there are people who understand them, people who will let them be unconditionally them.

This fall, I will be joining two of my siblings in college. And soon enough, my oldest sister will be going back to college as a graduate student. So in total, four of us will be attending school simultaneously; when I imagined my college experience, there were only two of us in school at the same time. Because of this, the financial burden on my parents has been increased; with this scholarship, I would offset some of that burden. And along with that, I would have less stress about finding a job in a new city. This scholarship would give me leeway to not immediately find employment so that I could instead find a place I would enjoy working at. Overall, the funds provided by this scholarship would give me mental solace as I navigate new situations and this transitional phase into adulthood and secondary education.

The first movie I can remember watching was How To Train Your Dragon when I was around seven years old. There was something about that animated world, full of wonder and fantasy, that young me could not get enough of, even as the years passed. I remember designing my own dragon species and putting myself in their world, riding along with all of the characters. Though I did not know it, I had already found my everything: imagination. This did become apparent to me, however, when I realized that anything I could draw on, I would. From assignments to tests to even my very last high school finals, nothing was safe from my pencil. The monotony and stress of school lessened when I could daydream and draw what was on my mind, and was my mind ever full. My creativity has been fueled all these years by my imagination and what I can make from it. I have created hundreds of storylines within my head, and I am now going to college to study animation to help me sort and get them out. All of my goals and aspirations in life revolve around these imagined stories and what inspired them. Without my imagination, I could not picture where I would be today. Whenever I can daydream, I do; getting lost within fantasy and exploring other worlds is an essential part of me as a being. Without my imagination, would I still do art, which often borders between reality and magic? Would I have been able to get through all those long lectures or Zoom meetings without anything to fall back on? I want to help others understand the importance of trusting their imagination and allowing art to blossom from it. Imagination has allowed my mind to flourish, so now I plan to make worlds that will inspire and enthrall the next generations, even for years after entering them.

From a Zoom meeting I have long since forgotten came one quote I plan to keep with me forever: "Passion is rare; curiosity is every day." For the longest time, I had tried to remain ambitious and passionate no matter what life threw at me, but the pandemic took a toll on me and my ability to create. I realized that it is not reasonable always to expect myself to be passionate because upholding that energy is exhausting and not guaranteed. I have bad days, days where I do nothing and push things off, and wanting always to be impassioned deepened the negativity I felt from being motionless. After hearing that quote, I immediately wrote it down and put it at the top of my notes app so I could see it daily. From these seven words did I find acceptance in slowing down and only expecting from myself one thing: being curious. This allowed me to take a step back and see how I was learning and what I did with what I learned. Before, I learned the information, the equations, and the dates because that was what got me good grades. But what about after all those tests, after high school? I realized I should be learning for the sake of the beauty of it. Though I do not remember who said the quote, I remember how relieved I felt hearing it from a trained professional. Even they did not expect themselves to be fiery and driven daily, so why had I been expecting it from myself? I was running a race with no end in sight when I could walk, stop and observe my surroundings. Now, I feel like I am more open to feedback, learning new information and thoughts daily. I have stopped being confined or limited by my feelings of productivity and have seen just how being hard on myself actually slowed down my personal and artistic growth. Now, instead of forcing strict deadlines on myself or constantly comparing myself to others, I work and create because I want to, not because I feel as though I must, and compare myself today to me yesterday. I experiment no matter the results because any progress is good progress. I find so-called useless facts and tell them to my friends because they are interesting and nothing more. I do not need to be passionate because that is not sustainable to expect so much from myself; instead, all I need to do is be eager to learn and experience whatever comes my way.

As a child, I remember going outside constantly, enjoying the fresh air, catching bugs, and playing at a nearby park with my siblings and friends. However, as I grew up, I went out less and less until 2019, when my friend got me into a game that had us going outside and playing weekly, if not daily. This substantially improved how I felt, and despite the bug bites and hot days, I did not want to go back. I discovered new places and a favorite statue that I would not have had I stayed inside. While this pandemic has certainly affected my ability to keep playing as my friend has long since gone to college, I have put a desk in front of my window to always enjoy nature, from bouncing birds to scavenging squirrels. What has hurt my enjoyment, though, is the amount of pollution outside. Walking around in my neighborhood reveals piles of garbage in some areas and loose trash everywhere. My family initially just tried to keep our lawn and backyard clean to little avail. It seemed that every time we picked up, the next day it was all back. And this was accepted by most of our neighbors as a part of everyday life. I have watched stray cats and squirrels eat this trash, mistaking it as food. Knowing that this can cause death as the animal thinks it is full, I was terrified. And even more terrified when looking at the state of local waterways. I could not remain inactive; I had to do something, anything. So, with the help of a friend, we decided to begin cleaning up local parks. At these parks, the trash was especially high. I thought it would be simple, a few pieces here and there to bag up, but then one bag turned into two into five. We divided collecting the pieces into trash and recyclable, and what we found was astonishing: rusted metal, broken glass bottles, and plastic bags upon plastic bags. It took several days to make good progress, and we are still working on it. But it is fully worth it because I want the outdoors to be clean again for people to enjoy it, clean for animals to live in it, and clean to prevent pollution from filling up the creeks in it. This has become more than a two-person job, so we will be inviting others to help or clean close to their homes. The amount we have picked up so far really makes it obvious how every person in the community is needed to make a difference. I want it to be so that people can look outside, be outside, and feel at ease, not disgusted or saddened by the state of it. Especially in a time that has confined us inside to remain safe, we need to all be able to take a moment to be in the sun and not worry about stepping on metal, seeing animals hurt by plastic or waterways filled with it. Picking up trash in my community has improved not only the environment and quality of it, but also my health and outlook on life by engaging me with nature and highlighting my impact on it.

I remember first watching How To Train Your Dragon as a child and realizing what I wanted to do: create a fantasy world to encapture and inspire viewers. I particularly loved the idea of the younger generation being the ones to challenge preconditioned norms in their society--and succeed. Right now, I am developing a comic idea that will one day hopefully be animated, and I will be studying animation and storyboarding in college to make this a reality. My comic will be heavily diverse, with various cultures that all are needed to overcome and dismantle the world’s oppressive political system. I think this idea of being able to successfully overpower overwhelming oppressors is critically needed, especially right now where it seems like marginalized people keep fighting to no avail, no change. I want to be able to keep hope alive, that we will make it through to live better lives. And along with that, I plan to have the series depict the stories and cultures of these underrepresented people--there will be a dark-skinned Black lead, a hijabi, and several disabled characters--to show that they can, and will be, shown on screen. I want to do anything possible to motivate people to keep going wherever they are in life, to say that they are not alone even in their roughest moments. To motivate them to create their own stories like I myself was motivated.

During the quarantine, I found that there was a lot of time to reflect on myself that I had previously been neglecting due to a busy school year and tight deadlines. Once the schools were shut down, the absence of daily homework left me uneasy and wanting to do something, anything, so I turned heavily to music. I began listening to my Discover Weekly on Spotify and found new music to fill the void that quarantine had created. One such I discovered was “Circling” by Eyas. It would end up being my most-listened-to song for 2020, but I am not shocked at that in the slightest. I had begun listening to it whenever I needed to calm down, to take a breath before my worries and anxieties (both of which 2020 provided a great deal) consumed me. The lyrics themselves are plenty mournful, lamenting a past relationship with painful similes, but how Eyas sings them transports me away from my stresses. The song allowed me to get through studying for my Advanced Placement tests and continues to allow me to unwind after long days or simply between breaks in my work. Its calming effect is almost immediate on me, and I know that I can count on it anytime, any day, to help me when life or assignments becomes too much. And with this peaceful mind, I was finally able to be introspective. I learned a lot about myself by reflecting on how assignments affected me and how I needed to keep a better schedule so that they did not continue building up and up. WIthout “Circling,” I know that my progress with improving myself and my work ethic would have come slower and definitely would not have happened during the quarantine. It is truly a unique song with a great impact that I could not have expected beforehand, and I will be forever grateful that Spotify's music algorithm is what led me to something that so drastically changed my life and kept me present during an uncertain time.

I have always been interested in shows and movies since I was young. The first movie I remember watching, How To Train Your Dragon, captivated me with its expansive fantasy world and underdog story. Watching it made me realize how much I loved art, particularly animated art. At DePaul University, I plan to study animation, getting my Bachelor of Fine Arts in it and most likely minoring in storyboarding. Having been inspired by animated media, I want to learn how to make my own in order to inspire other people, thus continuing this cycle of seeing art and having viewers then want to make their own. Especially when it comes to the aforementioned fantasy worlds, which have always intrigued me, with their magic and creatures, leading me to build my own enchanting worlds to one day share. Since I have started creating digital art, my skills have exploded and shown me what is possible with my story ideas. A minor in storyboarding here would help me to understand the beats of said ideas to better illustrate my ideas. And it would also improve my future animations by having me plan out stories to have the most impact possible on an audience. All of this is necessary so that I am able to make the best animations I can to inspire and motivate others to share their stories and art as well. And most importantly, my studies would allow me to provide viewers solace in a world that is filled with stress and uncertainty. Animation can do more than captivating someone by providing necessary relief from everyday worries through its magic, and I want to be the wielder of such magic.

Since a young age, I have been enthralled by the world of cinema and television shows. From my all-time favorite studios like Studio Ghibli to my more-recent favorite shows like Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, I grew to love animation and the emotion it contains and shares with viewers. This in turn has made me desire to create my own animation studio one day, to create magic like what inspired me in hopes that my viewers are then inspired. I will have to graduate high school and get through college first, getting my Bachelor of Fine Arts in animation at DePaul University, but I am confident that I will be able to create something for myself. I do not want only to get my foot in the door at an existing company; I want to create something new and expansive with like-minded, passionate peers. And with my own company, I would be able to showcase my own truths within shows and other media forms. The entertainment market including marginalized characters and stories has been severely lacking. Working under a network means that the stories we have to tell can then be severely limited through funds. But I do not want my voices, my future company’s voices, to be controlled. This lack of shows and of the so many “firsts” that are being made currently throughout companies--like Disney's first LGBTQ character or leads--are disappointing because they should have happened years, decades ago. Everyone deserves to see people like themselves and their friends and family within the media, no matter if it is "marketable" or not. Every industry is lacking in its leadership by women of color, continuing the severe limitations of voices and experiences. I want to create a business that allows people who have been purposely underrepresented to flourish and create the animations, shows, and movies they wished they were able to see as children and teens and adults. With my leadership, I would be able to hire similarly marginalized people and grow the percentages of women of color within animation. And given DePaul's location in Chicago, I do not doubt that I will meet many talented artists of color to join me on my mission. With my studio, I hope to create shows that will showcase other cultures and traditions than what is typically seen in today's entertainment industry, to especially broadcast a variety of voices and perspectives to normalize the differences which make us all unique. I know the excitement that can come with seeing oneself represented on screen, have seen how others react to seeing themselves represented, and the importance of this, that indescrible feeling of been acknowledged by the world, is too powerful to ignore. There are many details to work out with funding, location, and direction, but a studio like this is all too vital, especially in today’s uncertain and fearful climate. And hopefully, my future studio would allow more women of color to strive to have their place within the arts to create works that relate to ourselves and our communties rather than being sidelined.

I am currently working on a short animated film for my animation class. To continue creating it, I am using a Wacom tablet and pen, a laptop, and Photoshop, all provided to me by my school. Before I had access to these technologies and Adobe programs, my creative growth had stagnated. I could only do traditional art or digital art limited to my phone. But with these, my art skyrocketed in quality and production, and I became greatly motivated to create more, learn more, and spread my art. I have been able to illustrate like I have wanted to since I was a child, following the instructions of professionals in order to develop my skills and establish a style. With this grant, I would be able to get my own drawing tablet and art programs and would then, in turn, have to learn them. This would allow me to keep creating even once I graduate, preventing my growth from stagnating. And, then I would be free to begin my work on the comic and animation ideas I have had for years now, rather than waiting until college to use their equipment; with this grant, I would learn more digital programs to work on independent projects and improve my portfolio for job opportunities.

During the quarantine, I had a lot of time to look inwards and reflect on who I was as a person. Leading up to the months of imposed introspection, I had forced a harsh workload on myself in order to make deadlines, and in the end, I lost sight of who I was and what I was striving towards. These songs and their moving lyrics, especially the repetition of “I’m Alive,” have grounded me, made me look back to how I wanted to be when I was younger and work on being like that now and in the future.

I was the only one of my siblings to go to preschool. The story goes that upon hearing how school went for my older siblings, young me decided that I also wanted to go to school. So, rather than being in daycare, I got a headstart on my education. And this mindset I had, of wanting to experience learning to the fullest no matter the level, continues today. What has helped me to enjoy education is that facts have always enchanted me, from anything animal-related to crystals and rocks, been enchanted by how vast the world was, how much and little we knew. Being engaged in school has allowed me not only to learn facts, but to apply them as well. I have always taken higher-level classes and now have several Advanced Placement high school classes under my belt, which have truly changed how I think and work. One of my favorite classes, AP Environmental Sciences, greatly influenced how I live by showing me the impacts humans have had on our planet and showing me what we can do to fix our errors. It really helped me to be more conscious of my everyday actions and pushed me to follow and learn more science-related global news. And from my more difficult classes, like previously AP Calculus AB and currently AP Statistics, I learned to be sedulous in everything I do, even if it does not interest me like my favorite classes. They taught me the value of going back on what you missed so that you may grow from it. With my early desire for education and its continuation into the present, I have expanded my view on the world. I have developed a love for reading beyond books, a love for knowledge beyond just homework, a love for simply going beyond. And especially in a time of growing polarization, education has reminded me just how beneficial it is to think and act for oneself. Now, I am going to be entering an Honors program at my college, have been rewarded the highest academic scholarship for my work in high school, and I plan to keep loving learning and knowledge itself for the simple beauty of it.

Since I was a child, I have always loved animated media, wanting to replicate the sense of placement and peace they can give, especially with fantasy worlds. With being inspired by a wide variety of art--from Studio Ghibli films to thatgamecompany’s games to my own peers’ works--I try to draw upon the wonders and aesthetics that come with blending reality and magic. And as stresses and anxieties continuously fill our everyday world, I am even more dedicated to creating magical pieces to take away from those worries. I want my art to transport my viewers elsewhere: a fantastical quality that is just out of reach yet so close, forcing viewers to fill in the gaps themselves and find their place within my world, to go beyond sight into emotion. With this scholarship, I would be able to have the funds to buy a tablet for myself so that I can continue creating art and animations into adulthood. I was only able to grow exponentially with my art and technical skills when I was able to borrow a Wacom tablet from school. Using this tablet, I learned how to compose illustrations, animate in multiple programs, and, most importantly, work through difficulties and always remain curious. Given the money to afford my own tablet, I will be able to pursue my many dreams in the art world, from making concept art to comics to animations, after graduation.