I haven't always struggled with loving myself which falls into so many subcategories such as distrust, low self-esteem, and codependency to start. This was not completely the result of my "in the closet" status but it played its part. I know personally, it blossomed from too many negative experiences and observations throughout my childhood. Watching the overt sexualization of lesbian appearances on tv for men's entertainment while airing the brutalization of gay relationships for their uncomfortableness. As I grew I gained knowledge of historical events so that I can see it's progression. Yet, we progressed politically, socially, and internally right before my eyes in high school my sophomore year gay marriage was made legal federally. I felt a sense of pride and safety unbeknownst this was not just for my peers but for myself. I had attractions that I told myself were elongated phases but I know that when gay marriage was legalized I felt safe to have the option to be free. I of course took it on my own accord years down the road to leave the closet to those closest to me. My love started to blossom when I could speak my truth, this butterfly chain of events gave me courage. Which is something I know we all look for in this life regardless of your sex, gender, creed, nationality, sexuality, race, and ethnicity. All the positivity in this world still holds space for devastatingly negative attributes such as hate, rejection, and loneliness. Personal experiences of growing up with abuse emotionally, mentally, and physically exposed me at too young of an age; which is where the distrust, low-self esteem, and co-dependency seed was planted. I know that seed can grow weeds with thick roots that reach across parts of yourself that didn't even make sense to be growing in. I've witnessed those who have had seeds planted in themselves plant them in others. That's how generational trauma begins but where it ends is up to the ones who have been affected at times the worst. Self-love, healing, shadow work, and forgiveness are not just in thought of those who had so much pain that they passed it to others but towards yourself for believing them. It's a path many choose not to take because of how painful it is yet others take it alone that's where I will come. As a future clinical psychologist and a bi-sexual a part of generation z, I can and will help my community in the ways they need and I needed. I want to represent, advocate, and speak towards those beside me, before me, and after me. I have gained that trust within myself through my experience of overcomings. I have grown into my self-esteem through my knowledge of self-love where I learned from social media and will be practicing the same with my master's in psychology. I have overpowered my co-dependency one day at a time; amidst my proficiency I know I will pass it to the beautiful LGBTQIA community.

I find myself proud to be LGBTQ+ by the power of it's representation by any and all who stand with us. That is love, regardless if it's intimate or platonic it's the emotion we are condemned for feeling for one another but it's the emotion that we produce the best side of ourselves. To not fear who I love but feel pride instead in this world is not only bravery but the most innocent kind.

This is my younger brother Rian and me although our story takes place a few years down the road I found this picture to be a great place to start. This was the year Rian was diagnosed with autism. After I graduated high school my mother was attending nursing school and struggled to maintain Rian's very attentive schedule along it. So I took 2 gap years to help, in that time it was a very internal struggle watching my peers excel. I grew with experience from respite care to become a nursing assistant during the pandemic while starting college online.