I've struggled with mental health most of my life. I'm twenty-two now. But as a child, my father passed away right before my eleventh birthday. I've since been running from certain things and clinging to others. I used to think I grew up too fast, but as of late, part of me feels like I may have become mentally stagnant. But one thing is for sure; I became increasingly focused on avoiding all kinds of negativity for myself and others. Keeping peace and understanding that there are reasons people are the way they are was a goal I immediately developed when I had first experienced trauma in my life. I felt it wasn't right – that no one should have to feel that way. I felt different from others when I was young because of what I've experienced. But I realized I had clear reasons for being the way I was, and I didn't believe I could be any different, considering my circumstances. My mental health made me realize that there are clear reasons people feel the way they do, so I became intent on staying as unbiased and nonjudgmental as possible. I wanted to get along with everyone. Because I always felt that the sadness wasn't right, I also developed a deep empathy for those who experienced it, especially for my family grieving with me. I proceeded to do what I could to make them proud and happy. I felt a profound attachment to what I had left and was clinging to my family for my life. I hadn't realized, though, that I may have been overly dependent on these relations as they were very protective of me. I believe my trauma and this dependency may have stunted my mental and emotional development as a result, and there wasn't much outside of school that I did by myself. Although, presently, I've begun to work on my relationship with myself more while still keeping the same compassionate outlook I already had because I realize just how real feelings can be. This past April, I started taking medications and realizing how much they help, and I now would like to advocate for them and those out there who use them. I used to deny taking medications simply because I felt they would put me out of control, and it wouldn't be "me" fixing myself at all. Although, over time, I realized, with the help of my friends who also work through mental health struggles, that taking medication would be my way to regain control. I was at such a low point mentally that I realized I wasn't controlling anything anyway; I felt I couldn't, so I agreed when my doctor recommended anxiety medications. By taking medications and going to therapy, I began to feel hopeful for things again and am even planning to attend college this fall after a long hiatus from it. I now have new educational goals and passions and feel ready to move on and grow. I am still growing and realizing every day that everything happens at its own pace. So again, being that I have taken so long to get here, I realized that no matter where a person is in their life, there are reasons why they are there. I also realized that things such as goals come in their own time to us as well. Hence, my mental health experiences have all shaped me with compassion, consideration, and presently, new realizations and new relations with hope in myself, the world, and ultimately, in each of us.

Superfoods are like medicines or potions of the Earth. I love them because they, quite literally, are my saving grace. A little over two years ago, in April of 2020, I experienced a major panic attack with side effects that never entirely went away. I experienced chest pain and trouble breathing, laboring, and exercising, and doctors, since then, have not been able to provide a solid answer as to why these symptoms never left. The most they could do was guess I had inflammation and recommend I try to exercise easily, use pain medications, focus on managing my anxiety, and eat better. I did a lot of research on what to eat for different heart and chest conditions, and the answers on different conditions seemed to contradict each other. Some would say I needed to consume one thing, but others would say that the thing could be detrimental to another condition. Because I didn't know what my condition was, I had no choice but to find a balance — something that every type of condition could potentially benefit from, and that, very simply, was superfoods. Dark, leafy greens, berries and different fruits, whole grains, and lean meats were all recommended for a generally healthy diet. My cousin, whom I admire, had also recommended similar foods, so I became very focused on my diet, also trying to limit salts and sugars as best I could. Because of my sugar limitation and my ultimate desire for sweet snacks, I quickly found my favorite superfoods which, oddly enough, were ones I did not originally think myself to be too fond of — berries. I discovered my love for strawberries and raspberries, specifically, having considered them to be like elixirs if such things existed; They were the answer to my problems when I could not think of anything else sweet and safe enough to eat. I’d feel refreshed after eating them, and my symptoms tended to lessen in severity. I shared these results with my family and began suggesting we focus on purchasing them more often. As time went on, I began incorporating berries into my diet by eating them whenever I was feeling physically or mentally low so that I could refresh myself. I'd turn to them whenever I was hungry and did not know what else to eat. My taste had begun to change, and I became more appreciative of fruits, berries, and other superfoods over time as well as more willing to purchase and partake of them to support my health. At restaurants, I also find myself trying to order meals that incorporate the healthiest fruits and vegetables, and I eat salads now more than ever before. Whenever I go out shopping with my family, my eyes always wander towards the fruits, and I've lately been more willing to try new things like avocado, kiwi, starfruit, and pineberries, which I recently discovered to be more of a favorite for me than anything I've had before! I currently consider pineberries, cherries, and purple grapes to be among my favorite fruits, and I always request them at the grocery store. Presently, I also try to cook, when I can, using mostly lean meats like chicken, but all in all, I have a fond appreciation for many different kinds of superfoods; They help me heal. I specifically love those of the small fruit or berry variety! I know that when all else fails, they are the things I can rely on most to keep me going. So whenever I think of food, superfoods are always a top option for me!

I made a vow after I lost my father when I was almost 11 years old. I vowed to make him proud and to make sure the rest of my family would feel the same. Over the next couple of years, I ended up losing my grandfather, my aunt, and my cousin as well. I've been feeling more and more lonely over the years, but the lonesomeness has kept that vow deep-set in me, giving me the will to carry my family's name with me and make sure it'd be known to the world. That will and my family's pride is what I fight for. I am now 22 years old, but I graduated high school in 2018, fifth in my class, following this will. I went straight to community college after high school to pursue an associates degree in business because my family could not afford a university for both me and my older brother who, by that time, just began to attend Robert Morris University. I had to do what I could to keep being strong, although, after my first year, we hit some financial troubles, and my mental health began to decline rather rapidly again. As a result, I put a hold on my education, and took a break to better myself outside of school and help out my family some more. I felt it was what my father had wanted for me. I wanted to make everyone proud and be there for them as well as for myself. I also felt, at that time, that I couldn't help others if I couldn't help myself. I spent some time trying to improve my overall health and eventually got a job to support us which I held till January of 2022 when the covid virus was becoming bad in my area. I've been away from the world for a couple of months, but to fulfill my vow, I've continued trying to improve myself and find pride through my art to fulfill my vow. I spent a lot of time finding new artistic inspirations for myself as I worked on my mental health some more and began taking medications to get a better hold of my life which was feeling out of my control for quite a while. Over time, I was able to feel passionate about things again! I was singing, exercising, and drawing again! I even practiced some acting, and now I'm planning on pursuing all of these things professionally through a theater arts degree at Seton Hill University in the Fall of 2022! I believe this path is the next step in finding myself and is the way to make my father and my family proud. I want to grow and prove that I'm able to handle myself out in the world and make a difference, so I've been actively trying my best to find ways to make my education more affordable. My immediate family is currently very concerned and worried about my choice to attend a university, but I'm intent on finding fulfillment and promised, again, that I'd do whatever it takes to make things work. I've always got my father and the rest of my family at the back of my mind, and I am still intent on making them proud, regardless of the financial doubts and fears I have surrounding me. I'm intent on facing these fears, growing, and becoming stronger. I am looking to dream again, and dreams feel like good things compared to what I have known in the past. I also know that what's good is what my dad would want for me, hence I'm intent on following this light through to the end to make him proud.

My main, impacting goal is pursuing theater arts to inspire hope in others by finding inspiration and overcoming adversities in my own life. My dream and my plan are for me and for others with similar struggles to be able to dream again. I want to connect with people who can help me find new goals, new purposes, and new reasons in life to live and explore. I also plan to share what I learn and connect with others who seek to do the same. The arts, in all forms, are a way of achieving these connections and sharing life's gifts with others. Many people like myself grow up believing that everyone has a purpose, but some feel it becomes lost to time; Negative feelings like these are some things I'd like to be able to heal in us all through my pursuits. I've spent years in a depression and have taken many years to begin rediscovering my passions and creative aspirations. Some of the things which inspired my passions as of late were series, shows, voice actors, games, art, and other masterful works people have created. I have wanted to inspire others similarly. My plan to pursue a theater arts degree will teach me more about these things, and it will help me connect to the outside world. Then, I will be able to inspire others to find themselves once I build myself up and make connections in my own life. I will be able to find new dreams, feel new things, and share this journey and experience with others I meet along the way. I believe artistic aspirations, in their own right, are impactful by themselves. Theater arts degrees revolve around so many art forms that I love; Each art form is expressive, and expressions can help others, such as myself, feel less alone. Feelings shared through the arts can be encouraging, comforting, entertaining, or simply relatable, and they help people realize that others think similarly to them. They help people feel like they're journeying together with someone else by their side. I plan to enter this industry to be everyone's journeyman or companion. I plan to learn, practice, graduate, find employment, and experience these feelings all the while so that I can impact others to feel less alone and grow with them on their journeys together.