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Drawing And Illustration
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Josue Toribio M
545
Bold Points1x
Finalist![user profile avatar](https://static.bold.org/profilePictures/img20240218202452708ade9c6b611394054936e756d67de7cc3.webp)
Josue Toribio M
545
Bold Points1x
FinalistBio
I am a first-generation student who aspires to graduate college with a bachelor's degree and a master's. I have been an exceptional student and have always dreamed of having a stable life, especially since I've moved from one relative to another throughout my life. My teachers had the most significant impact on me since they inspired me to work within the field of education and give back to the community, which helped me get to where I am. My IB English teacher motivated me to take more challenging classes, apply to college, and find resources. I want to do the same for others, be there for students, and show them they can achieve their goals or other career paths they never thought about. I will be a peer staff member for the UC Davis Guardian Scholars program, where I will support incoming students like me, guide them toward a successful first year, and be a resource for them. Any awards will be crucial for the financial support I need to focus on my academics without the financial burden. Other than that, I want to help my community and encourage higher education or different paths for first-gen students at risk of homelessness, foster youth, etc... I will get my college degree while networking and doing internships to gain the experience I need to achieve my goals.
Education
University of California-Davis
Bachelor's degree programMajors:
- English Language and Literature, General
Miscellaneous
Desired degree level:
Master's degree program
Graduate schools of interest:
Transfer schools of interest:
Majors of interest:
Career
Dream career field:
Education
Dream career goals:
Help succeed and empower: first-generation students, risk of homelessness or foster youth
Social Practitioner
Clubhouse International - Connections House2023 – Present1 year
RonranGlee Literary Scholarship
Josue Toribio Madrigal
Natalie Robertson
ENL 003 005
01-25-2024
Poetry Close Reading
The Four Periods = Four Stages of Grief
Julian Talamantez Brolaski’s poem “What to Say Upon Being Asked to Be Friends” is rich in sentiment, as the narrator’s voice quivers when read aloud. Thus, as the reader dives into the poem, it questions why the narrator’s voice is distressed and quivering; its emotional response can be interpreted as feeling rejected by someone and diving through the four stages of grief. Brolaski creates a narrator who uses a dramatic range of diction for complex emotion, employing repetition of words and syllables to provide the shape of a modern sonnet, which is a type of poem with fourteen lines and rhymes, including the period placement that represents the four stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. The way figurative language provides power to words and builds vivid imagery intensifying the emotional impact that the poem provides.
Brolaski’s dramatic use of archaic diction is not typically used in contemporary expression; it depicts the complexity of the narrator’s emotions and the denial stage. The line “Not hate, my love, but Love doth bite my tongue” (l.2) displays the narrator’s linguistic richness; the narrator communicates no present hatred toward their beloved, yet they instead depict a profound struggle to express love. The word “doth” is used as the third person singular present for “do or does,” which evokes timeless emotions and the complexity of enduring the nature of love. Meanwhile, the metaphorical idiom “bite my tongue” represents a layer of depth to the portrayal of declaring one’s love, as this narrator vividly conveys the intense frustration and restraint when unable to articulate one’s emotions freely. This idiom reinforces the narrator’s struggle with communication, akin to a bitten tongue and stifled in their attempts to convey feelings openly.
Furthermore, the narrator follows with, “Till I taste stuff that makes my rhyming rough,” in reference to the first line, “Why speak of hate, when I do bleed for love?” (ll.1,3), indicating a comparison between bleeding and love. The phrase “Till I taste stuff” is a poignant metaphor for biting their tongue until it bleeds. It depicts a self-imposed restraint that becomes an emblematic gesture and shows the struggle to articulate their emotions, such as love. Tasting here means the narrator is conscious of the consequences of withholding words as if tasting the outcome of rejection. The term “rhyming” has multiple meanings in this line, apart from its relationship with poetry, such as this poem being a modern Sonnet. The ability to speak and articulate thoughts and feelings can also be in the way the rhymes in this line are rough, showing the narrator’s tone of discomfort. The use of “rough” describes the difficulty in rhyming but also draws a parallel between the wounded heart and the bruised tongue. Where blood symbolically connects the silenced voice with the throat’s inability to talk clearly due to the blood and wound. This intricate use of metaphors and complex words enhances the poem’s depth, depicting the complexity of unspoken sentiments that come upon rejection, feeling vulnerable, and inability to speak, hence embedding denial throughout the first period.
After the first period of the poem, the narrator explores intricate emotions using complex vocabulary to convey anger, which comes after the numbness of rejection, separating the denial using the first period. Within lines six to nine, the narrator explores anger, using the phrase “a rose is arrows is eros,” where the rose can be associated with its beauty and love, turning into arrows that embody the painful pierce of rejection. The inclusion of “eros’’ is depicted to express the word love without using love and refers to the Greek god of love. This word is so uncommon that it would be hard to know what it means nowadays, so it is meant to hide this feeling of love. Then, the subsequent lines, “So what / If I confuse the shade that I’ve become / with the winedark substance in a lovers cup?” (ll.6-8) The narrator depicts confusion as the shadow can be perceived as intoxicating or even negative emotions upon rejection. While the “wine dark substance” implies intoxication as a reference to alcoholism or substance abuse because of the rejection, the narrator has found themselves within this dark state of complex emotions. Finishing this state with the plea, “but stop my tonguely wound, I’ve bled enough,” encapsulating the narrator’s emotional state of feeling conflicted as there is this inner battle for love but also fear of rejection and loss of friendship, reaching the grieving process after anger.
We can tell that the narrator has now transitioned from the stages of denial and anger into depression, one step closer to acceptance. In the lines, the narrator uses the given conditional statements: “If I be fair, or false, or freaked with fear.” (l.10). These suggest a fluctuating state of mind, where the narrator’s emotional states are fairness, falsehood, and fear; introducing uncertainty and internal conflict. Meanwhile, immuring the “tongue in a locked box” (l.11) metaphorically conveys the restraint and isolation of the narrator’s voice and emotions. The repetition of the conditional “If” (ll.10-11) creates a rhythmic pattern, which under codes how the narrator’s thoughts and feelings of self-doubt. This repetition of archaic language, like “immure” at the end of line twelve, creates timeless and enduring suffering, giving it a dramatic tone; the word means to hold back emotions.
Furthermore, the concluding line, “Blame not me, for I am sick with love,” (l.12) encapsulates the emotional state that aligns with depression. This declaration of being “sick with love” implies that love has become a source of affliction rather than comfort, and the plea for understanding “blame not me” depicts how the narrator has tried not to destroy the friendship built while building a love that burdens the narrator. This last line also depicts the narrator’s change to accepting that nothing is wrong with them; the use of transitional “if” was the path and “I am sick with love” depicts finally admitting these strong feelings.
In the poem's concluding lines, the narrator finally grapples with the complex emotions surrounding the desire for love, showcasing a form that resonates with the final stage of grief: acceptance. The narrator uses “Yet” at the beginning of the first line to signify a transition, with a sense of reconciliation with the past conflicting emotions. The conditional statement “Yet would I be your friend most willingly” (l.13) expresses a genuine willingness to continue the friendship. “Willingly” depicts the openness and acceptance of this connection despite the past, suggesting the departure from earlier stages of grief that were marked by denial, anger, and depression. Furthermore, the final line states, “Since friendship would infect me killingly.” (l.14), where the words “infect” and “killingly” indicate contagion and recall pain, which implies an acknowledgment of the potentially harmful impact of preserving friendship. The narrator ends the poem with a reference to mortality and takes this experience as one of many that can be an inevitable part of the human experience.
Brolaski’s poem uses archaic language and punctuation to deliver emotion that guides the reader through the four stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, and acceptance, to capture the complexities of love and rejection. The rhythmic repetition within the poem captures the narrator's emotional journey to acceptance. Brolaski reveals that no matter how we suppress our feelings for someone, they will always present themselves in the most complex way. This is okay, as this all forms part of the human experience, serving as a treatment for the resilience of the human spirit, which captures the essence of emotional growth and acceptance of the inevitable life challenges.
Work Cited
Poetry Foundation. “What to Say Upon Being Asked to Be Friends by… | Poetry Foundation.” Poetry Foundation, 2012, www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/55570/what-to-say-upon-being-asked-to-be-friends.