- [ ] My name c ould have been Depression Failure Suicide. My best friends and I go way back, in fact they have been my best worst friends for 22 years now. Suicide started with my dad when I was 16, carrying on to my uncle 2 years later his son Alex later on and 2 failed attempts by myself after my last deployment. Followed by what feels like a countless number of my brothers and sisters in arms, just leaving me to be alone. The highest of highs to the deepest lows cycling through medications and addiction and alcohol just to find what makes me feel "lttt alive" What is there is be so damn happy who wants to be alone, sad, tired, depressed, and what I seem to be the master at failing. I'm so good at failing that I l've failed failing two suicide attempts twice. Who does that I mean really and not cries for help finally feeling happy Bonny that I would know what being at peace feels like. Failing my marriage, and even two perfect little boys and losing one who was my everything to one day be and severall loved ones afterwards. Failures everywhere to include my most recent my one true love that failed too choose me. The path and the direction I've chosen to take is my own now bush wacking my way to the top. I also fail to get lost, I fail to quit, and fail to let myself drown in sorrow and misery. Being able to surpass the bad days, the evil temptations, and proving that even if we're broken you can still be the best. Teaching others wellness and the power of a positive mindset and the wonders it's done for my life. I know it's hard sometimes to find the light at the end of our tunnels or trying to force the hands of time but, we all have something we believe in. I believe if you do practice integrity daily without personal gain attached someone with notice and make that a lifestyle of their own. Two favorite motto from the military in Latin "Lo Que Sea, Cuando Sea, Donde Sea" whatever, wherever, whoever never backing down living a life of freedom's through integrity and "De Oppressor Liber " to oppress the liberated releasing others from the bad, the evil, and the darkness that they battle teaching through my actions of perseverance.