In High School, I was hospitalized due to my anxiety, depression and my self harming actions and thoughts. I had been in an abusive relationship and it had killed all my self love. I had created a new persona to please this person and in doing so, lost my true identity. I believed I deserved the pain for some short comings and that the punishment was earned. I was not worthy of love from my family and my friends were my friends out of pity. I couldn't face the days and retreated to my room and escaping my life. I was cutting and planning other ways to unalive myself. I believed that I was useless and a burden to all that knew me. In a desperate moment, I asked my mother for help. We found help in the form of therapy. I wasn't getting better. I said what I thought were the right things to say, I didn't want to disappoint the therapist or my family. Specializing in teens and her many years of training, my therapist saw right though my ruse. She suggested a hospital program that she believed would benefit me and help me. I took that step and many others to learn tools and coping mechanisms to help myself find that inner strength and self love. I learned that my clinical depression is also a chemical imbalance in my brain and it is something I will always have to contend with. I will always need to use my tool box of skills that I have learned over the years to help myself and keep my brain healthy. In the many years of therapy and testing, I have also been diagnosed along with the depression, with anxiety, OCD and ADD. I am having future testing to detect if I am on the Autism Spectrum. I have come to believe in myself again. I have gone on to realize that my friends love me for me, and that the actions of one person do not shape or define me. It has been a long road back to myself, and I have been supported by a loving and understanding family. I am loved and accepted for myself. My friends have been there by my side thought out all of this journey. There are times when I still have those thoughts that leak back in saying that I am not worthy of their love, but I am now able to work on those dark ideas and find myself back to knowing I am worthy. I am finishing my first year of college, living in Boston and being on my own for the first time. I have learned how to advocate for myself and to do things that are out of my comfort zone. I look forward to a wonderful future as a college professor. I also want to bring more awareness to mental health in High Schools and College Campuses. Going though many difficulties with my own high school, I believe that teachers today need to be more informed and educated on mental health and signs to help more students. I do not believe that there is enough understanding and not nearly enough compassion. They are crying out for help and it is being ignored out of ignorance on the devastation that mental health issues can have on people.