Many of us have heard the saying, “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” The problems that I found most burdensome, were internal struggles related to the complex mental framework of the brain. I faced depression and this hardship has allowed me to develop maturity that is crucial for my future success. This kernel of optimism pushed me to better myself in every way possible and I want to help others through my music. I did not have smooth sailing, but I can say that my battle with depression made me into the person I am today. This is my single forever-alone that I wrote, produced and sang and think people should hear and can relate with my mental journey.

Many of us have heard the saying, “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” Often when we think of problems, we address the external issues prevalent in our lives. However, the problems that I found most burdensome, were internal struggles related to the complex mental framework of the brain. Specifically I faced Major Depressive Disorder, more commonly known as depression. Not the normal “ups and downs” that most people have, rather the self-destructive, disconsolate black hole that threatens any bit of positive feeling. It has brought tears, pain, and blood—to me, my friends, and my family. But all this hardship has allowed me to develop maturity that is crucial for my future success. My relationship with depression dates back to elementary school, long before most children even knew what that word meant, let alone how to spell it. The “resting sad face” I claimed to have was beyond my facial structure or genetics. Behind that sad face was an intense love. Love for everyone and everything besides myself. An important life skill that’s emphasized is to be able to work with a diverse set of people. But what if that one person you could never come to a consensus with was yourself? I lacked motivation, drive and purpose. Most people probably thought I was a goofball, but this was my coping mechanism for the relentlessly painful wound in my cerebrum. The beginning of high school was the most difficult adjustment I went through both mentally and academically. A typical day at school involved slacking off, not completing work, and joking around with other students. High school seemed scary and overwhelming. There were cliques, many of which I didn’t fit into, and longer classes that seemed never-ending. When I got home from school, I went from a nice enough, if lackadaisical kid, to a miserable, hot-headed demon. At school I was nailing my own coffin, while at home I was considering a way to end up in one. By sophomore year in high school, I had another problem that was quite literally weighing me down: I had gained fifty pounds due to medications and comfort eating. Having depression prior to gaining a sizable amount of weight exacerbated my despair. Obtaining my diploma, much less attending a university, seemed unfeasible, until the day of my sister's wedding. I had not seen my sister for over a year, so she was shocked when she laid eyes on me. I confessed that I was in a dark place, which she related to due to her own mental health struggles. We had a long, saddening, yet enlightening conversation, many tears shed. Afterwards, I felt in control of myself, a feeling that persists to this day. This kernel of optimism pushed me to better myself in any way possible, using self-taught methods of quotidian introspection. School was starting to feel enjoyable, every class was engrossing. I attempted running a mile every day after school, to burn fat and break the painful in-school/out-of-school cycle of despair. Running was initially challenging because my preceding exercise regimen solely consisted of shuffling downstairs to get more food. Eventually I settled into this divergent lifestyle, closing out my junior year with straight A’s and being able to run five miles without breaking a sweat. My weight decreased by fifty pounds, I was again unrecognizable. I did not have smooth sailing, but I can say that my battle with depression made me into the person I am today. It did not leave scars, but left calluses that, once repaired, are stronger and encouraged me to help others to fight this battle. I plan to study Psychology and applied research to address mental health issues if I’m afforded the opportunity to do so.

My favorite scientist is Dr. Robert Sapolsky because his research covers many diverse area that are inner connected. He researches and speaks on the human condition and uses interesting and abstract concepts to prove his hypothesis.

The COVID-19 pandemic created many challenges, but also led to a number of life altering opportunities for me personally, academically, and athletically. During my first two years of high school, I was dealing with anxiety and depression. This made it difficult for me to focus on school work and my earlier grades reflect this. I worked through my issues and by junior year, I was ready to learn and challenge myself academically. In the fall of 2019 as a junior, I switched high schools to take more challenging courses and to get a fresh start. I also wanted to continue playing lacrosse after sitting out my sophomore year. I started my school year strong academically, with straight A's through March of 2020, while taking an AP course. Because I had A's in all classes, the school year was effectively over for me when Arlington Public Schools locked down in mid-March. I wasn't sure what to do with my extra time. Instead of becoming complacent, I enrolled in two classes at Northern Virginia Community College that were being offered at no cost to juniors and seniors impacted by the pandemic. These classes didn't start until May 2020, so I decided to start training for lacrosse and my first half marathon to fill the void. Before the pandemic, in November 2019, I started visiting colleges that had interest in my lacrosse skills. In December 2019 and January 2020, I played in an indoor league made up of the top public and private high school players in the District of Columbia, Maryland, and Virginia to get ready for the upcoming lacrosse season. My junior year was particularly important to show college coaches that I hadn’t lost my skills by sitting out a year. I started the season in February of 2020 with high expectations and then the pandemic hit. My teammates and I worked ourselves into playing condition and played in only two games before the season was cancelled due to the pandemic. Although I started the season strong by leading the team in scoring and becoming a leader on and off the field, I felt shortchanged. Instead of sitting idly by, I decided to make the best of it. I figured other players were in the same situation. I created a profile and highlight film for college coaches to view my achievements and began a 16-week half marathon training program with my father. I also tried out and played for an up-and-coming travel team in the summer. In late November 2020, my father and I ran the Richmond Half Marathon and I ended up achieving second in the under 20 age group and 89th out of 1,300 runners overall. In addition, I have been offered Division 3 roster spot on the University of Massachusetts Boston lacrosse team. Although the pandemic has not been easy, many challenges can turn into opportunities when you identify your goals and start working toward them.

Many of us have heard the saying, “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” Often when we think of problems, we address the external issues prevalent in our lives. However, the problems that I found most burdensome, were internal struggles related to the complex mental framework of the brain. Specifically, I faced anxiety and depression. But all this hardship has allowed me to develop maturity that is crucial for my future success. During this time, my English teacher took me under his wing. He saw something special in my writing abilities and motivated me to reach my full potential. This kernel of optimism pushed me to better myself in every way possible, enabling me to finish my junior and beginning of senior years with straight A’s, earn English Student of the Year, and December Student of the Month. I did not have smooth sailing, but I can say that my battle with depression made me into the person I am today and my teacher encouraged me in every way possible. As a result, I plan to study Psychology and applied research to address mental health issues.

Music is an outlet that allows me to escape the day-to-day mental grind. During the pandemic, I started looking for alternatives to express myself. I turned to production, writing, and singing music as a way to deal with depression and anxiety. After finishing my daily school workload, I make a beat or two and collaborate and mentor others with the same interests. Over the past year, I have put out an album and two singles. I don’t think I’m the best, but I can say that I’ve helped others with improving their music and it makes me a better person inside. My latest single, “Driving for a Long Time” is what it feels like getting through the isolation we have all experienced during the pandemic.

Many of us have heard the saying, “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” The problems that I found most burdensome, were internal struggles related to the complex mental framework of the brain. I faced depression and this hardship has allowed me to develop maturity that is crucial for my future success. This kernel of optimism pushed me to better myself in every way possible and I want to help others through my music. I did not have smooth sailing, but I can say that my battle with depression made me into the person I am today. This is my single forever-alone that I wrote, produced and sang and think people should hear and can relate with my mental journey.

Miloš Forman’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is my favorite film because of the symbolism used and wide variety of cast and characters. The film is illustrative of the 1960’s with a sizable amount of symbolism regarding the revolutions and movements that were developing during this era. I believe this film is trying to express the fight against social conformity between the Establishment and the Anti-Establishment concurring in this decade. The conflict between R.P. McMurphy and Nurse Ratched demonstrated this war among society. The Nurse being a dominating, orderly, and controlling presence in the ward represents the Establishment and McMurphy being the rebelling, powerful, and subversive role as the Anti-Establishment causes a constant clash between the two forces. This is apparent when Harding explains the situation on the ward to Mcmurphy. “...I’m a rabbit. The doctor is rabbit. Cheswick there is a rabbit…Oh don’t misunderstand me, we’re not in here because we are rabbits—we’d be rabbits where ever we were—were all in here because we can’t adjust to our rabbit hood. We need a good strong wolf like the nurse to teach us our place.” The rabbit is the Anti-Establishment and the wolf is the Establishment in this analogy. I think this theme could still speak to our day and age because there are still a lot of problems in our powerful part of society that people still naturally conform to. There’s a lot of social stigma around certain things that are in ways put in place by the Establishment and there will always be an opposing force to stop that.

As I sit here today at my bus stop, writing this essay on my smartphone, I start playing what-if scenarios in my mind. I contemplate how this little mobile communication device with all its bells and whistles has impacted my life. So I have to ask myself a simple question, where would I be today without it? I immediately start making a mental model of what it would be like to live a day of my life without my smartphone. I start my day by hearing static blaring out of my radio alarm clock. I hit the snooze button on the alarm to get five more minutes of sleep only to find out that I turned it off and missed my first online class. As I wake up in a panic, I find out that I left my laptop cord unplugged and I can’t turn on my computer to log into class. My laptop has a quirk, where it won’t boot up until it has charged for about ten minutes. As I pick up my cordless phone to call my teacher, I find out her number is only listed on the Canvas application, so I have no way of contacting her. I call one of my friends in the class and they put the speaker phone on so that I can listen in on the class, only to find out there is a pop quiz. Once my battery charged enough to run off the plug, I quickly jumped on the class and finished up the quiz with a C. Unfortunately, I was marked down a grade with an unexcused absence. As I finished up the school day, I was looking forward to my friend’s firepit party. He lives across town and with the pandemic, gatherings of any kind were infrequent, so I was really looking forward to it. The only problem was that I wasn’t sure what time the party started and didn’t want to just show up and anger his parents. I called his phone and other friends with my cordless with no success. I also emailed everyone that I knew to no avail. I ended up just heading to his house but unfortunately never made it. My car broke down on the way over to his house. I was stuck on the side of a dark road with no way of reaching a tow truck. After waiting for several hours, a police officer drove by and offered to take me home. I had to leave the car and call a tow truck when I got home. At this point, it was after midnight and I had school in the morning so I settled down for the evening. I brushed my teeth, set my radio alarm clock and went to sleep only to wake up to find out it was all a nightmare. A simple life without smartphones isn’t so simple. Although smartphones have their disadvantages, they undoubtedly make our lives easier. As with anything in life, do things responsibly and in moderation. And remember: don’t drive and text.

Many of us have heard the saying, “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” The problems that I found most burdensome, were internal struggles related to the complex mental framework of the brain. I faced depression and this hardship has allowed me to develop maturity that is crucial for my future success. This kernel of optimism pushed me to better myself in every way possible and I want to help others through my music. I did not have smooth sailing, but I can say that my battle with depression made me into the person I am today. This is my single forever-alone that I wrote, produced and sang and think people should hear and can relate with my mental journey. https://music.apple.com/us/album/forever-alone/1553725865?i=1553725958

Many of us have heard the saying, “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” The problems that I found most burdensome, were internal struggles related to the complex mental framework of the brain. I faced depression and this hardship has allowed me to develop maturity that is crucial for my future success. This kernel of optimism pushed me to better myself in every way possible. I did not have smooth sailing, but I can say that my battle with depression made me into the person I am today. This is my single forever-alone that I wrote, produced and sang. https://music.apple.com/us/album/forever-alone/1553725865?i=1553725958

Many of us have heard the saying, “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” Often when we think of problems, we address the external issues prevalent in our lives. However, the problems that I found most burdensome, were internal struggles related to the complex mental framework of the brain. Specifically, I faced anxiety and depression. But all this hardship has allowed me to develop maturity that is crucial for my future success in STEM. This kernel of optimism pushed me to better myself in every way possible, enabling me to finish my junior and beginning of senior years with straight A’s. I did not have smooth sailing, but I can say that my battle with depression made me into the person I am today and encouraged me to help others to fight this battle. I plan to study Psychology and applied research to address mental health issues.

Many of us have heard the saying, “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” Often when we think of problems, we address the external issues prevalent in our lives. However, the problems that I found most burdensome, were internal struggles related to the complex mental framework of the brain. Specifically, I faced Major Depressive Disorder. I was a slow starter in high school and continuously battle with depression and anxiety since the age of 13. During this mental journey, I also participated in the sport of lacrosse from 8th grade through my freshman year at the high school varsity and junior varsity levels to take off the edge. I mentally checked out my sophomore year both academically and athletically, due to my anxiety and lack of interest in almost everything in life. I switched schools during the second semester of my sophomore year to try an alternative path. My grade point average plummeted during that time as well. At the end of my sophomore year, my overall grade point average (GPA) was a 2.2. But all this hardship has allowed me to develop maturity that is crucial for my future success in health sciences. This kernel of optimism pushed me to better myself in every way possible, enabling me to finish my junior and beginning of senior years strong. Two weeks into my junior year, I changed schools one more time to get a fresh start. I started to get my depression under control and without medication. During my junior and first semester of my senior years, I raised my cumulative GPA to 3.24 overall. I received straight A's and earned Principal's Honor Role for six straight quarters, while taking three Advanced Placement (AP) and one dual enrollment course. I was English Student of the Year in 2020 and December 2019 Student of the Month. I have also taken two college courses over the summer during the pandemic and achieved a 3.67 GPA. I mention my struggles in life in my essay because I have applied to some high caliber schools and scholarships, and don't expect much attention. Students that have started slow struggle to get recognized in life ,let alone for scholarships and financial assistance. My expected family contribution (EFC) is over $24,761. What the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) doesn't tell you is that my sister is also in college with the same EFC and that my parents have been paying college tuition for the last eight years straight. In addition, it doesn't tell you that my father works for the government and my mother is a part-time preschool teacher with modest salaries. The schools that I have been accepted to offer subsidized and unsubsidized loans and work study totaling $8,500 through FAFSA which is simply not affordable. I did not have smooth sailing, but I can say that my battle with depression made me into the person I am today and encouraged me to help others to fight this battle. I plan to study Psychology and applied research to address mental health issues if I’m afforded the opportunity to do so.

The COVID-19 pandemic created many challenges, but also led to a number of life altering opportunities for me personally, academically, and athletically. During my first two years of high school, I was dealing with anxiety and depression. This made it difficult for me to focus on school work and my earlier grades reflect this. I worked through my issues and by junior year, I was ready to learn and challenge myself academically. In the fall of 2019 as a junior, I switched high schools to take more challenging courses and to get a fresh start. I also wanted to continue playing lacrosse after sitting out my sophomore year. I started my school year strong academically, with straight A's through March of 2020, while taking an AP course. Because I had A's in all classes, the school year was effectively over for me when Arlington Public Schools locked down in mid-March. I wasn't sure what to do with my extra time. Instead of becoming complacent, I enrolled in two classes at Northern Virginia Community College that were being offered at no cost to juniors and seniors impacted by the pandemic. These classes didn't start until May 2020, so I decided to start training for lacrosse and my first half marathon to fill the void. Before the pandemic, in November 2019, I started visiting colleges that had interest in my lacrosse skills. In December 2019 and January 2020, I played in an indoor league made up of the top public and private high school players in the District of Columbia, Maryland, and Virginia to get ready for the upcoming lacrosse season. My junior year was particularly important to show college coaches that I hadn’t lost my skills by sitting out a year. I started the season in February of 2020 with high expectations and then the pandemic hit. My teammates and I worked ourselves into playing condition and played in only two games before the season was cancelled due to the pandemic. Although I started the season strong by leading the team in scoring and becoming a leader on and off the field, I felt shortchanged. Instead of sitting idly by, I decided to make the best of it. I figured other players were in the same situation. I created a profile and highlight film for college coaches to view my achievements and began a 16-week half marathon training program with my father. I also tried out and played for an up-and-coming travel team in the summer. In late November 2020, my father and I ran the Richmond Half Marathon and I ended up achieving second in the under 20 age group and 89th out of 1,300 runners overall. In addition, I have been offered Division 3 roster spot on the University of Massachusetts Boston lacrosse team. Although the pandemic has not been easy, many challenges can turn into opportunities when you identify your goals and start working toward them.