The loss of my uncle Michael still haunts me till this day, having him here one day and gone the next has shaped my adult life in more ways than one could imagine. The thrill of life and the enjoyment of having family support him with his extended endeavors came crashing down in 2014, I had just graduated high school and I had returned back to California, where my mother reside and my uncle. I planned on showing him my diploma and all of my awards that I had gotten while I was finishing school in Texas. I wanted him to show up, but I didn’t have enough tickets so I had planned to come back to see him and show him face-to-face. I never got the chance to do that because he had passed. I got to speak to him over the phone one time and he told me he would call back later that I know that I would never get that call back until the next call would be that he had passed.  I would’ve never known that that would be the last time that I spoke to him, but I knew I had to continue my education to make him proud. I took off six months to a year and pursue my dreams and becoming a music artist. And I did well for myself. I established the name and made different people. I’ve traveled the world and seeing different things. I guess I just tried to run away from the pain never really focusing back on the education part of my life that I closed in that chapter. I’ve decided that I will go back to school and earn my degree and get my associates in science. I have a deep desire for change and that’s what had me getting into the field of early childhood education. I have learned so much through taking this curriculum and I can’t wait to see what else this has in store for me. A huge part of me change and I’m aware that I am in control of my future and I want to live out division where my uncles and anyone else who isn’t here that is my loved ones so they can see that they can live through me and I’ll can somehow live through them. This scholarship would be an honor to have to help with funds and equipment that I may need while obtaining my degree.

I think that being a single parent is most challenging because you’re doing the job that is natural for two people. So balancing the school life and the Mom life and trying to both merge them into one it’s critical. From planning what you’re gonna wear and what your child’s gonna wear to meeting deadlines with assignments that are do that day on top of grocery shopping and having to feed a toddler, it can be very overwhelming. Daily chores still have to be done and maintained like laundry, cleaning dishes, keeping your stove in microwave, clean, sweeping the floor, wiping down all the mirrors in the house, mopping the floors taking out the trash and cooking dinners. There doesn’t include something breaks, and I either have to fix it myself or scavenger of the money to hire someone to come and fix it for me which I rarely do because I have to find ways to save money so that just in case there’s emergencies, I have the funds available. Tara trying to juggle both without Support from anyone on a paternal and fraternal side that I know things will get better if I just continue to stay in a positive mindset and try to conserve as much energy for myself so that I may pour into myself and heal. I think all single mothers should take a day out for themselves however, many days they may need to restore balance back into their lives and somewhat find themselves. This scholarship will not only help me, but it will help My Baby as well. It helped me set the bar high and show My Baby that if you work hard, you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. I believe that is important. I believe that having a plan and being prepared is important I want to make sure that I’m giving my child the best opportunities possible. And I want to make sure that I lead by example so that these things won’t be difficult when it’s time for My Baby to do these things I believe that time management is the key here along with love. Because I love my child I strive to do the best that I can every day even if I don’t have something or if I just lack something, I’ll try to get the resources and make it stretch or do a creative activity. I do not let my days get me down. I do not let disbelief and misfortune put me into a spiraling effect in my life. I think God that I have the ability to be able to wake up and move without the help order assistance of an anatomy object or a health provider, because God made me able. I know that I can do anything. through him. If I win, I would love to hang this on my wall and a special frame. I don’t have too many things with my name on it, and this will be one achievement that would give me that token of gratification that I’m looking for. Because I love my child I would do whatever it takes to make sure that I am awarded these scholarships in honor of her.

Harold Bloom once wrote, “The purpose of teaching is to bring the student to his or her sense of his or her own presence.” To me, this means that education is not just about passing on knowledge, but about helping students recognize their value, abilities, and unique place in the world. It is about awakening their self-awareness and confidence that moment when a student realizes, “I matter, I am capable, and I belong.” In special education, this philosophy holds even deeper meaning. Many students with disabilities grow up facing social, emotional, and academic barriers that can make them doubt themselves. My passion for special education stems from wanting to change that to create a classroom where every student feels seen, capable, and proud of who they are. I want my students to know that their differences are not weaknesses but strengths that make them extraordinary. To me, being a special education teacher means being both a guide and a mirror. My role is not to define students by their limitations, but to reflect back to them their potential until they can see it clearly themselves. My mission is to build an inclusive, supportive learning environment that nurtures growth in every way academic, social, and emotional. Helping students find their “sense of presence” means helping them build self-trust. Many special needs students carry fear, frustration, or a history of being misunderstood. Before learning can happen, they need to feel safe, respected, and believed in. I want to create that safety a classroom where mistakes are not failures, but steps toward understanding. By fostering trust and encouragement, I can help students take risks, try again, and realize their abilities. I plan to use creativity and flexibility in my teaching. Every child learns differently, so I will adapt my instruction to their needs using visual aids, hands-on activities, music, or movement. By doing so, I can open multiple doors to learning and ensure every student finds one that fits them. Collaboration with families, therapists, and other teachers is also essential to my mission. Together, we can build a strong support system that helps students carry their progress beyond the classroom. Ultimately, my purpose is to help students discover their light to bring them to the moment where they recognize their own worth and potential. That is what Bloom’s statement means to me: guiding each child toward the realization that their voice, mind, and presence matter. A Short Fairy Tale: “The Teacher of Light” Once upon a time, in a small mountain village, lived a teacher named Lyra. Every day she carried a small lantern to her school at the edge of the forest, where she taught children who had been told they could not learn. Some could not speak; others could not sit still. But Lyra believed that each child carried a tiny flame inside one that could grow with love and patience. Instead of traditional lessons, she taught with songs, games, and laughter. She celebrated every small success and never gave up on a struggling student. Over time, something magical happened: the children began to shine. A child who once sat in silence began to laugh; another who feared words read their first story aloud. Slowly, their classroom filled with light not from Lyra’s lantern, but from the children themselves. One evening, Lyra realized her lantern had gone dark. Yet the room was still bright glowing with the presence of her students’ light. In that moment, she understood her purpose as a teacher: not to shine for them, but to help them see their own brilliance. The school became known as The School of Light, where every child’s flame was cherished and every difference celebrated. Conclusion Like Lyra, I want to be a “teacher of light.” My goal as a special education teacher is to help every student discover and believe in their own abilities. I want to bring them to that sense of presence that quiet strength that comes from knowing they are seen, heard, and valued. Teaching special education is not just my career choice; it is my calling. It is the way I hope to change lives one child at a time by showing them that their light has meaning and power. When my students finally see themselves as capable, intelligent, and full of potential, I will know I have fulfilled my purpose as a teacher.

There comes a moment in life when you pause and look around, realizing that the path you’re walking no longer feels like your own. For years, I lived day to day, doing what I thought I was supposed to do working hard, caring for others, keeping life moving. But deep inside, I felt an emptiness, a quiet voice reminding me that I once had bigger dreams. That voice grew louder with time, and eventually, I could no longer ignore it. It told me it was time to return to school not just to earn a degree, but to rediscover the parts of myself I had put on hold. Returning to school was not an easy decision. It meant juggling responsibilities, confronting self-doubt, and stepping into classrooms filled with younger faces who seemed to move through academics with ease. I had fears: “What if I can’t keep up? What if I’ve been away too long?” But beneath those fears was something stronger hope. Hope that I could rebuild, grow, and create a future that reflected who I truly am. My inspiration didn’t come from one single moment; it came from a combination of experiences, people, and reflections that shaped me over time. One of my biggest inspirations was my family. Growing up, education was always seen as the key to opportunity, but like many people, life had other plans for me. I left school earlier than I intended, choosing work over lectures, bills over books. I told myself I’d go back “someday.” Years passed. That “someday” kept slipping further away. Yet every time I encouraged a younger sibling, child, or friend to chase their dreams, I felt a pang of guilt how could I ask them to reach higher if I wasn’t doing the same for myself? That realization became my turning point. I wanted to lead by example. I wanted my loved ones to see that it’s never too late to start over. Another source of inspiration came from my own personal growth. Life has a way of teaching lessons that no classroom can. Through challenges, heartbreaks, and hard work, I developed strength, patience, and resilience. Those qualities though earned outside of school are what pushed me to go back. I realized that returning to school wasn’t a step backward; it was a step forward, one built on the foundation of everything I had already learned through life. I had more to bring to the classroom now than I ever did before. I had stories, experience, and perspective all things that give depth to education. There were also moments of quiet reflection that inspired me. I would look at old notebooks or graduation photos from years ago and remember how much I used to love learning.It represents growth proof that you are still capable of changing, still capable of becoming more than you were yesterday. A special influence on my decision to return was seeing others like me take the leap. Watching them balance their responsibilities and still chase their goals filled me with admiration. If they could do it, maybe I could too. Their perseverance showed me that success isn’t about perfect timing it’s about refusing to give up on yourself. Still, perhaps the greatest inspiration came from within from that small but persistent belief that I was meant for something more. Life had given me many roles, but deep down, I wanted to reclaim the one that belonged only to me: the student, the dreamer, the believer. I wanted to prove to myself that I could finish what I started, no matter how long it took.

Brain development during the first five years, a child's brain develops more rapidly than at any other time. ECE provides stimulating environments that support neural connections crucial for future learning. School readiness, children in ECE programs often start kindergarten with stronger language, math, and social skills, giving them a smoother transition into formal education. Social skills early education teaches children how to interact with peers, share, take turns, and resolve conflicts—key social behaviors that affect lifelong relationships. Language development exposure to rich vocabulary, storytelling, and conversation in early education boosts a child's ability to communicate and comprehend language. Emotional regulation structured ECE environments help children learn how to manage emotions and build resilience in the face of stress or frustration. Better Long-term Academic Outcomes: Research shows that children who attend high-quality ECE programs are more likely to graduate high school and attend college. Reduced Behavioral Problems: Children in early education programs often exhibit fewer behavioral issues later due to better coping and self-regulation skills learned early. Encourages curiosity and learning attitudes. ECE nurtures natural curiosity, helping children develop a love for learning that can last a lifetime. Parental support and involvement quality programs often include resources and training for parents, improving family engagement and parenting practices. Economic and societal benefits, Long-term studies (like the Perry Preschool Project) show that early childhood education reduces crime rates, increases employment, and yields a high return on investment for society. My top 3 books that impacted my life forever (a child called it), (to kill a mockingbird), (where the red fern grows). These books gave me a new insight and a new perspective on my life, and lead me exactly to my calling. I have a deep passion for children and adolescents, I was babysitter of the year with all the children in my family so it kind of molded me and shaped me how each child is different and how to accommodate each individual need. I believe that this meaning is intentional, and personally if you see future as important in this society. We have to take responsibility be the role models that kids need and show them that we have to be relentless when it comes to being an inspired successful adult. We have to leave by example and not just talk to talk walk the walk. This is the guideline for next children to come And that’s what shape the adults that we see to come if we’re noot learning to adapt and update our new teachings and understandings, and we are just stuck in the past and staying content and complacent with what is and what was

I am committed to supporting early childhood development by becoming an advocate, educator, and nurturer of young minds during their most critical years. My plan is to create environments where children feel safe, valued, and inspired to grow — not just academically, but emotionally and socially. I aim to implement inclusive, play-based learning methods that foster curiosity and confidence, while also collaborating with families to ensure every child’s needs are understood and met. I believe that true development begins with connection, so I will lead with empathy and patience, always recognizing the uniqueness of each child. My decision to pursue this field comes from a place of deep personal experience. Growing up, I saw firsthand the impact a caring, attentive adult can have on a child’s life — someone who listens, encourages, and believes in them even when the world feels uncertain. For me, that adult was a preschool teacher who saw potential in me when I was too shy to speak. Her kindness lit a spark in me, one that has grown into a calling: to be that light for someone else. I want to be the voice that tells a child, “You matter,” and help shape the kind of foundation that can carry them through life with strength and resilience. Early childhood is not just a phase — it is the soil in which all future growth takes root. I want to be part of that root system, planting seeds of confidence, compassion, and curiosity that will grow into the leaders, creators, and dreamers of tomorrow. Growing up in a single-parent, low-income household taught me resilience before I even knew what the word meant. My mother worked multiple jobs to support my siblings and me, often sacrificing her own comfort so we could have a chance at a better future. Watching her persevere through financial and emotional challenges ingrained in me a quiet determination: that circumstances do not define my potential—they ignite it. Days when the fridge was nearly empty and evenings when I did my homework by candlelight during power outages. Still, I kept going. I studied relentlessly, and sought every opportunity I could find to grow. Tutoring, volunteering, and mentoring others who were walking similar paths. I learned to advocate for myself and others, to find strength in vulnerability, and to view education not just as a goal, but as a responsibility. These experiences shaped my vision for the future. I plan to pursue a career in community outreach and advocacy because I want to be the kind of person I needed growing up. I want to create programs that empower underserved youth, especially those from single-parent households like mine, to believe in their worth and discover their power. I’m currently working towards my goals through hands-on involvement. I volunteer at a local youth center where I mentor students from under-resourced schools, helping them with academics and life skills. Through these roles, I’ve realized the power of lived experience it helps me connect with others authentically and serve with empathy. This scholarship would not only ease the financial burden of college, I’m not just pursuing a degree. I’m building a bridge for myself, my family, and for every young person who has ever felt defined by their struggle rather than their strength.

Growing up in a single-parent, low-income household taught me resilience before I even knew what the word meant. My mother worked multiple jobs to support my siblings and me, often sacrificing her own comfort so we could have a chance at a better future. Watching her persevere through financial and emotional challenges ingrained in me a quiet determination: that circumstances do not define my potential—they ignite it. Days when the fridge was nearly empty and evenings when I did my homework by candlelight during power outages. Still, I kept going. I studied relentlessly, and sought every opportunity I could find to grow. Tutoring, volunteering, and mentoring others who were walking similar paths. I learned to advocate for myself and others, to find strength in vulnerability, and to view education not just as a goal, but as a responsibility. These experiences shaped my vision for the future. I plan to pursue a career in community outreach and advocacy because I want to be the kind of person I needed growing up. I want to create programs that empower underserved youth, especially those from single-parent households like mine, to believe in their worth and discover their power. I’m currently working towards my goals through hands-on involvement. I volunteer at a local youth center where I mentor students from under-resourced schools, helping them with academics and life skills. Through these roles, I’ve realized the power of lived experience it helps me connect with others authentically and serve with empathy. This scholarship would not only ease the financial burden of college, I’m not just pursuing a degree. I’m building a bridge for myself, my family, and for every young person who has ever felt defined by their struggle rather than their strength.

It was a Tuesday afternoon — the kind where the sun filters through the classroom blinds just enough to make everything feel a little softer. I was volunteering at an after-school program at a local elementary school, assigned to help with reading practice for a group of second graders. Most of the children were eager to read out loud, but one little boy named Malik always sat silently at the edge of the group, eyes lowered, his book unopened. Malik was quiet, withdrawn, and often labeled by others as "difficult" or "uninterested." But I saw something else: not a lack of ability, but a lack of trust. When I first approached him, he barely acknowledged me. When I asked him to read, he shook his head. The staff told me not to push him, that he rarely participated. But I couldn’t give up on him — something in his silence felt like a challenge and a plea all at once. So, I changed my approach. I stopped asking him to read and instead, I started reading to him. Each day, I’d sit beside him, no pressure, just sharing stories. I’d let my voice change for different characters, pause for his reactions, and sometimes ask him what he thought would happen next. At first, he didn’t respond. Then, slowly, over the course of a few days, I caught glimpses — a smile, a small chuckle, a quiet “I like that part.” One day, after I read a story about a lion who found his roar, Malik quietly whispered, “Can I try reading the next page?” I handed him the book, pretending it was no big deal, but my heart was thundering. He stumbled over the words, paused often, but kept going. When he finished the page, he looked up at me with cautious pride. “You did it,” I said, smiling. “You found your roar, just like the lion.” From that moment on, Malik began to bloom. He would come to our sessions excited, book in hand, asking if we could read together. He started volunteering in group activities, answering questions in class, and even making friends. His teacher told me he’d never seen such a turnaround in a student before. But the truth is, Malik wasn’t the only one who changed. That experience transformed me, too. I realized that being present for a child — truly present — can change the trajectory of their life. I learned that patience, empathy, and consistency can reach children in ways that tests and grades never could. I began to see education not just as a transfer of knowledge, but as an act of love. Helping Malik unlock his confidence helped me discover my own purpose. I knew, from that moment, that I wanted to dedicate my life to early childhood education — not just to teach, but to see children for who they are, to believe in them when they don’t yet believe in themselves. What some saw as a shy, disinterested child, I saw as a story waiting to be told. And the chance to help write even a small part of that story was more powerful than anything I’d ever experienced. If given the opportunity through this scholarship, I will carry that moment with Malik — and all the children like him — into every classroom I enter. I will continue to meet children where they are, to see potential where others see problems, and to remember that even the smallest gesture — a story shared, a quiet word of encouragement — can spark a transformation. Because sometimes, all it takes is one person to believe in a child before they start believing in themselves. And I want to be that person — not just once, but again and again, for every child I meet.

It was a Tuesday afternoon, the kind where the sun filters through the classroom blinds just enough to make everything feel a little softer. I was volunteering at an after-school program at a local elementary school, assigned to help with reading practice for a group of second graders. Most of the children were eager to read out loud, but one little boy named Malik always sat silently at the edge of the group, eyes lowered, his book unopened. Malik was quiet, withdrawn, and often labeled by others as "difficult" or "uninterested." But I saw something else: not a lack of ability, but a lack of trust. When I first approached him, he barely acknowledged me. When I asked him to read, he shook his head. The staff told me not to push him, that he rarely participated. But I couldn’t give up on him, something in his silence felt like a challenge and a plea all at once. So, I changed my approach. I stopped asking him to read and instead, I started reading to him. Each day, I’d sit beside him, no pressure, just sharing stories. I’d let my voice change for different characters, pause for his reactions, and sometimes ask him what he thought would happen next. At first, he didn’t respond. Then, slowly, over the course of a few days, I caught glimpses — a smile, a small chuckle, a quiet “I like that part.” One day, after I read a story about a lion who found his roar, Malik quietly whispered, “Can I try reading the next page?” I handed him the book, pretending it was no big deal, but my heart was thundering. He stumbled over the words, paused often, but kept going. When he finished the page, he looked up at me with cautious pride. “You did it,” I said, smiling. “You found your roar, just like the lion.” From that moment on, Malik began to bloom. He would come to our sessions excited, book in hand, asking if we could read together. He started volunteering in group activities, answering questions in class, and even making friends. His teacher told me he’d never seen such a turnaround in a student before. But the truth is, Malik wasn’t the only one who changed. That experience transformed me, too. I realized that being present for a child — truly present — can change the trajectory of their life. I learned that patience, empathy, and consistency can reach children in ways that tests and grades never could. I began to see education not just as a transfer of knowledge, but as an act of love. Helping Malik unlock his confidence helped me discover my own purpose. I knew, from that moment, that I wanted to dedicate my life to early childhood education — not just to teach, but to see children for who they are, to believe in them when they don’t yet believe in themselves. What some saw as a shy, disinterested child, I saw as a story waiting to be told. And the chance to help write even a small part of that story was more powerful than anything I’d ever experienced. If given the opportunity through this scholarship, I will carry that moment with Malik and all the children like him into every classroom I enter. I will continue to meet children where they are, to see potential where others see problems, and to remember that even the smallest gesture a story shared, a quiet word of encouragement can spark a transformation. Because sometimes, all it takes is one person to believe in a child before they start believing in themselves. And I want to be that person not just once, but again and again, for every child I meet.

I am committed to supporting early childhood development by becoming an advocate, educator, and nurturer of young minds during their most critical years. My plan is to create environments where children feel safe, valued, and inspired to grow — not just academically, but emotionally and socially. I aim to implement inclusive, play-based learning methods that foster curiosity and confidence, while also collaborating with families to ensure every child’s needs are understood and met. I believe that true development begins with connection, so I will lead with empathy and patience, always recognizing the uniqueness of each child. My decision to pursue this field comes from a place of deep personal experience. Growing up, I saw firsthand the impact a caring, attentive adult can have on a child’s life — someone who listens, encourages, and believes in them even when the world feels uncertain. For me, that adult was a preschool teacher who saw potential in me when I was too shy to speak. Her kindness lit a spark in me, one that has grown into a calling: to be that light for someone else. I want to be the voice that tells a child, “You matter,” and help shape the kind of foundation that can carry them through life with strength and resilience. Early childhood is not just a phase, it is the soil in which all future growth takes root. I want to be part of that root system, planting seeds of confidence, compassion, and curiosity that will grow into the leaders, creators, and dreamers of tomorrow. For a better tomorrow, we must plan today. We must prepare for the future. We hold the power to change anything at any time I will install this into the next generation. I will make sure that they know they have the key. I will let them know that the destination is success. From now on, I will only leave by example. This way, true values can be instilled in the things that I have talked are shown through hands-on experience and not just word-of-mouth, but actually doing footwork in the community and being a active member of the community. Being something like a big sister, someone who you can always depend on and come to if you have a problem, a listening ear and shoulder to cry on or just to speak on your endeavors. I am fully invested. I am fully prepared. I put god first, I pray and then I go and get what I prayed for.

People will have their own perspective and perception of what special needs is, what capabilities they have, and what they may like from the narrow, typical person. Neurodivergent is all, but unwilling it is ready. It is competent, it can learn, It can understand, it can be painful, But within all of these trying factors, we are still in motion. We are still willing readily, able To have dreams to accomplish goals to meet adulthood and to provide for ourselves. Special education means a lot to me because there’s not enough research on the topic or the people that it affects. We have all had at least one special-needs person in our classroom setting, and the attention that they get separates down from other students. I think that’s why it gets a bad dilemma because it separates you from the majority and it kind of cast is you out as a delinquent. I don’t think it’s fair, I think there needs to be more studies on these things, I think kids need to be nicer, but in order to be nicer they need better understandings in their households. We need outlets to express ourselves when we don’t understand something, and we shouldn’t be punished for asking Questions and trying to have a better understanding of life and it’s many aspects. I believe special-needs teachers deserve a higher pay, but I believe all teachers deserve a payment that can sustain their lifestyle comfortably. I believe that special needs teachers are heroes that don’t get too much acknowledgment for their hard work and dedication that they do every day with the mentally challenged And disabled people tend to brush off or push it to the back of their mind because they believe if you can’t see it, then it doesn’t exist, but the problem is is that it does exist and that there’s not enough teachers, there’s not enough lessons being applied at home. There’s not a lot of people who care, or think that this is important for the future generations. Education is one of the biggest learning aspects in life yet nobody goes back to update the outdated information. I feel that a lot of the teachings was for a certain time. But now that times have changed. They are still trying to use certain curriculums and treated as if it’s the same times and it’s not. We need better sources. Our future depends on it.

I love to put footwork into my community, a lot of the times that looks like feet to pavement because there aren’t programs or resources that are readily available for the people who need them. So I set aside personal time to go out and do community work, or any type of work to where my services can be used. I helped the elderly manage with the new updates of technology, I help single mothers and fathers adapt to parenthood and form a village, so the child may have a numerous amount of support systems. I donate to the Goodwill as many times as I can throughout the month I do charity work, which involves me going to door-to-door or being called to someone’s residence to pick up donations and those donations go to nonprofits and people who are in need of these items. This year I plan on saving funds to contribute to feeding the homeless and providing them with clothes, shoes, and other resources that can be helpful in that manner at that time. With this money, I will be able to support new ideas purchase new resources, and help struggling families Across the world. I love people. I am a humanitarian and I know that all it takes is just one person to be involved and took care to be readily active for change this community outreach work that I’ve been doing for years has showed me that I have a important role in this world. Sometimes I’m the only person people talk to, and that speaks volumes to me. Sometimes I’m the only person who notices them and it breaks my heart, but it also heals me to know that I am there to help. A lot of communities like trust and hope and I would like to be a new foundation, a new start in a new perception on what being a good person is. I don’t judge. I just want to help. I refuse to act blind I refuse to walk past people like I don’t see them. I refuse not to take responsibility. I refuse hate and negativity. I pray for everyone no matter race size, Creed, disability, gender or sexual orientation with me you get love and understanding. With me, you get to have a safe place to speak and to be heard a safe place where you can be listened to without being judged. I love my people!

20 years serving your country, 20 years dedicated to the duties of this great nation, 20 years of bravery. My dad suffers from PTSD and seeing this first hand because we live with him still causes nightmares where i wake up in cold sweats. My siblings and i had to scrub the baseboards of our 4 bedroom house, cook 2 family meals a day, while maintaining daily chores and school. It was hard just trying to maintain a whole household plus my brothers and sisters and go to school. I learned that I can handle whatever someone puts on my plate, I do not hate my father, and I do not hate my life. I just want to spread awareness for anyone else who may be battling with this. Create exposure and a safe environment for people to learn about these daily struggles and how to cope with the daily life of disabilities in children or adults. What that may look like, sound like, feel like, taste like, and even dream like. I've had night tares to where I can't sleep at night because of the beatings I would receive for numerous things it seemed like. I had no way of expressing how emotionally depressed and deprived I was. How can you express something like that to someone who is mentally incapable. It was hard, I ran away a few times which cause problems for me because I was a minor living in rough living environments for my mental. Being a adult now and noticing all the trauma I went through as a child shows me that I need to have more compassion and happiness for myself. I did not kill myself, I did not take the easy way out when in so many ways I wanted to and I could've. Finding that safe place and peace is so important to me as an adult so that way when I have children I can tell them about my experiences and lead by those examples. I just pray that I am a better parent with more tools to use then physical or mental but healthy coping skills and strategies to keep track of milestones and progress within my own children's lives. Life is all about reasoning and understanding the more we take accountability the better we can do for ourselves. Preparing for a future no body knows is scary but all I can do is have faith in myself.

I first learned about my mothers mental illness when I over heard her talking to my brother who had been deceased for almost 8 years now. It was hard to comprehend and understand what was happening but i soon learned that my mother was suffering from mental illnesses beyond her control. I'd get off of work just to come home to my mother who needed my help because she's disabled as well. Exhausted from everyday task of the work life, my personal life, school life, and my mothers well being shaped my new reality. I watched her go from being this bright beautiful person with so much life ahead of her turn into this dependent unhinged and chaotic spirited being. It was hard to see my mother change so drastically like that, i am the 6th out of 7 and i am the only one who is active in her life and willing to sacrifice. I never knew that this would be the future for my mother and that all her dreams would soon fall short. Never being able to accomplish her goals or check off things off her bucket list. Continuing to remove all negativity and non supportive people out of our life because i understand that any second could be mine or her last. A true mommas girl, a true surviver, a true healer. I pray for us, and anyone else who may be going through this short coming in their life. We as a people have to come together to spread more awareness so that there can be a new foundation for the mentally challenged/ mentally impaired. Rather then counting them out we could make things suitable for all who live in and with these conditions. I was ordering my mothers groceries, and a man named luis was shopping and delivering the order, I just kept telling him how grateful I was for his kindness and great service. Not only did he bring all the groceries up to the third floor but he was adamant to have no substitutions because my mother is also elder. I tipped him and he left us with a smile I will never forget. It's truly the small things that matter most, and every moment matters. I thank my mother for giving me life the moral concepts of what a good person looks and sounds like. I pray one day my siblings see it too.