My journey with self-love and acceptance has been a treacherous path. As a child and young teen, I never felt like I belonged or fit in anywhere. My real father left at a very young age, my older brother was addicted to drugs, and my Mom worked 3 jobs to keep food on the table and with that, she wasn't around much. I was typically by myself always and had to find ways to entertain myself. I constantly was picked on throughout schooling. Between being bullied in school and being alone most of the time, I began to think it was my fault and that I couldn't be loved and that there was something wrong with me. By the time I entered high school, I had begun to fiddle with drugs, I experimented with self-harm and even had attempted suicide multiple times. Shortly after graduating high school, I fell into a crowd that suffered from the same ideas and believes of themselves that I did. I began to use drugs heavily to numb myself to the constant thought of how terrible I was as a person. I held crappy relationships with terrible men who abused me, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I continued to let it happen because I truly believed that was what I deserved. Today I have just over 2 years clean for all mind and mood-altering substances. I found my way to a 12-step program that helped me get to where I am today. Through working the steps and actually applying them to my life, not just for drugs, but for everything, I have started to love myself. I never thought that would be a possibility with how strong my self-hate was in the past. I can't say I one- hundred percent love myself but I can say I finally do have self-love for once in life and I continue to work on it every single day. I only surround myself with people who have the right intentions in mind, towards me, and towards themselves. And well, I believe with the gaining of self-love I have begun to accept myself for what I have done, who I am, and where I want to go in life. Three years ago, if you told me that I would of completed probation early, moved to another state, got clean and stayed clean from drugs, I would have never believed you. Also, if you told me that one day I would go back to college and be successful, I would have laughed at you and told you that you were crazy. But here I am doing the dang thing!

My journey with self-love and acceptance has been a treacherous path. As a child and young teen, I never felt like I belonged or fit in anywhere. My real father left at a very young age, my older brother was addicted to drugs, and my Mom worked 3 jobs to keep food on the table and with that, she wasn't around much. I was typically by myself always and had to find ways to entertain myself. I constantly was picked on throughout schooling. Between being bullied in school and being alone most of the time, I began to think it was my fault and that I couldn't be loved and that there was something wrong with me. By the time I entered high school, I had begun to fiddle with drugs, I experimented with self-harm and even had attempted suicide multiple times. Shortly after graduating high school, I fell into a crowd that suffered from the same ideas and believes of themselves that I did. I began to use drugs heavily to numb myself to the constant thought of how terrible I was as a person. I held crappy relationships with terrible men who abused me, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I continued to let it happen because I truly believed that was what I deserved. Today I have just over 2 years clean for all mind and mood-altering substances. I found my way to a 12-step program that helped me get to where I am today. Through working the steps and actually applying them to my life, not just for drugs, but for everything, I have started to love myself. I never thought that would be a possibility with how strong my self-hate was in the past. I can't say I one- hundred percent love myself but I can say I finally do have self-love for once in life and I continue to work on it every single day. I only surround myself with people who have the right intentions in mind, towards me, and towards themselves. And well, I believe with the gaining of self-love I have begun to accept myself for what I have done, who I am, and where I want to go in life. Three years ago, if you told me that I would of completed probation early, moved to another state, got clean and stayed clean from drugs, I would have never believed you. Also, if you told me that one day I would go back to college and be successful, I would have laughed at you and told you that you were crazy. But here I am doing the dang thing!

My greatest inspiration in life would be my Dad. He has gone through so much and has never let anything bring him down or stop him from obtaining his goals. My Dad, well he is my step-dad, has incurable cancer that he was diagnosed with when he was in his 20s. Even though they gave him a death sentence of not living past 2004, he is still alive and healthy to the best of his ability. He continues to push through this cancer and made the most he can of his life. My Dad continues to work out every day for at least 2 hours even though his body is falling him. He continues to push on with his life. My Dad's drive and willingness have been my main motivator in life. If he can push out and live past his death sentence then no matter what I go through, I can and I will get through. A few years ago I fell into a bad lifestyle and thought that my life was worth ending. I truly believed I had no purpose on this Earth and that everyone would be better off without me. Then my Dad wrote me this poem not knowing that this is how I felt at the current time. The poem was about how I was always daddy's little girl no matter what I do in life. That poem shook me out of the way I was living. I have over 2 years clean from all drugs and mind/mood-altering substances. If it wasn't for my Dad's constant will to push through life I don't know where I would be. His story has truly been what drives me to strive for everything I want in my life and to believe in myself.