Grief Monologue I lost my mom recently and when you go through something like that people start to tell you what they know about grief… Well, what they feel like they know anyway. The real lesson comes when you find yourself in the middle of it. Then you learn that no one truly knows how to resolve deep, eat at your soul, skip showers for days, never able to clean your room or get out of bed, grief. No one really understands it. They’ll say things like: “It gets better, she’s always around you so you never have to miss her.” “I’m here for you.” “She’s watching you.” None of that matters to me. None of their pity or “love” concerns me because all I ask, every day and for the rest of my life, is that she comes back. My comfort has been imprisoned in the shackles of death, inevitable but permanent. Never to be released until the same happens to me, not saying that I want it to. But the frog in my throat grows larger, trying to find an escape through the cries I feel welling up in my chest;(pause) the cries from the night she left. Parents are supposed to die before their child but not like this, not this early. My heart is forever at a distance, moving around me but never physically tangible to me because that’s what she was to me. But, you know, you start to feel better (pause) eventually. You realize that all the condolences and voices are right. Life gets better. You relearn how to get out of bed, how to wash and feed yourself. Your soul rehabilitates itself but never fully. It’s missing a piece and she’s the missing piece. You learn to live with your heart at a distance, and you learn to live with your comfort shackled in the basement of the Grim Reaper. Through that, though… you realize how strong you are to endure a cycle that never ends but just gets lighter and lighter as life goes on. Lighter in load, lighter in emotional burden. You don’t feel like crying every time you hear her name. You don’t feel like hiding and locking yourself away. You don’t feel terrible for living your life without her. And then one day…you discover a new comfort… a gift from Death himself that one day reunification is inevitable and permanent.

I am very stubborn. I often have a vision and I stick to it as long as my brain will allow me to. Some call it determination, I call it willpower but, my dad calls it stubbornness. Just like my mom. I have never had a problem figuring out what I wanted to do later in life. I have always wanted to be a director since the moment I watched Princess and the Frog. My mom was in awe of the fact that Black girls had the chance to feel magical like everyone else. When she passed, I relinquished control of the suffocated magic burrowing in my core. Magic drives passion and creativity. The pixie dust that drove my mother above and beyond the limits that could've stifled her as a Black woman survives through me. I would love to major in Film and TV and become a director. Directing allows me to fully allow my soul to shine through and tell other narratives of Black girls with magic. Passion isn't even the word to describe the hunger I have for wanting to make this world more accepting of Black girls with untraditional stories that require attention; stories that should be allowed to feel like magic. Directors like Jordan Peele tell the stories of blackness in a way that haunts viewers with an underlying eerie sense of mystery, restraint, and pain. Peele translates the Black experience to the screen in a way that I aspire to do. Donald Glover is also an amazing writer, director, and producer for the show Atlanta. Glover makes it look effortless when it comes to the afro surrealistic nature of his art through all mediums. My inspiration lies heavily with those men who have found valuable and original ways of telling the story of what it means to be Black in environments that are built to extinguish the very light set in every radiant soul. My stubbornness comes from persistence. Challenges are made to be conquered and passion drives a creative soul to overcome. I am passionate about what I do and what I want to study because it saved my life, created my soul, and nurtured my spirit. Without directing, I don't know who I would be. I am forever grateful to my camera that allows me to be, my dad who instills the work ethic in me, and my mom for her stubbornness.

Technology is moving faster than young people on bikes these days, and there's not much the general population can do but sit back and enjoy or sit back in despair. One newer piece of technology that fascinates and excites the possibility of a greener future is Electric Vehicles. Electric Vehicles, or EVs, first appeared in the United States around 1997 in response to the 1973 Oil Crisis and the slew of laws passed to protect the environment. Many variations of eco-friendly cars have come before it, but the Electric is the one that stayed. Companies like Toyota, General Motors, and Nissan all started with their versions of an EV in the 2010s. However, Tesla is the only fully electric car company that has revolutionized how we drive and transport goods. Tesla's technological background makes their cars what many, including the Washington Post, dubbed the 'iPhone on Wheels.' Innovation in the transportation industry shows promise. As consumers, one doesn't think much about the products one consumes. Many of us have our minds occupied by work, school, family, and social issues, and researching the most minute parts of our day takes away from the small amount of free time we have. EVs are game changers because they allow you to go through your daily life without pumping pounds of harmful chemicals into the air and polluting the Earth we all have to share. As technology gets more efficient, it must also come to a point where it's safe and guilt-free for all users. Though EVs are not fully there themselves, they are a big step in making the world cleaner.

I am very stubborn. I often have a vision and I stick to it as long as my brain will allow me to. Some call it determination, I call it willpower but, my dad calls it stubbornness. Just like my mom. I have never had a problem figuring out what I wanted to do later in life. I have always wanted to be a director since the moment I watched Princess and the Frog. My mom was in awe of the fact that Black girls had the chance to feel magical like everyone else. When she passed, I relinquished control of the suffocated magic burrowing in my core. Magic drives passion and creativity. The pixie dust that drove my mother above and beyond the limits that could've stifled her as a Black woman survives through me. I would love to major in Film and TV and become a director. Directing allows me to fully allow my soul to shine through and tell other narratives of Black girls with magic. Passion isn't even the word to describe the hunger I have for wanting to make this world more accepting of Black girls with untraditional stories that require attention; stories that should be allowed to feel like magic. Directors like Jordan Peele tell the stories of blackness in a way that haunts viewers with an underlying eerie sense of mystery, restraint, and pain. Peele translates the Black experience to the screen in a way that I aspire to do. Donald Glover is also an amazing writer, director, and producer for the show Atlanta. Glover makes it look effortless when it comes to the afro surrealistic nature of his art through all mediums. My inspiration lies heavily with those men who have found valuable and original ways of telling the story of what it means to be Black in environments that are built to extinguish the very light set in every radiant soul. My stubbornness comes from persistence. Challenges are made to be conquered and passion drives a creative soul to overcome. I am passionate about what I do and what I want to study because it saved my life, created my soul, and nurtured my spirit. Without directing, I don't know who I would be. I am forever grateful to my camera that allows me to be, my dad who instills the work ethic in me, and my mom for her stubbornness.