If everyone could read just one book in the world it would be "If only he had been with me" by Laura Nowlin. This book is utterly heart-breaking but so fulfilling all at the same time. The book teaches you to cherish every moment you have with someone because you don't know when it'll be your last with them. It also teaches you that you have to take risks with people you love specifically in a romantic situation. Autumn always loved Finny and Finny always loved Autumn but neither one of them wanted to make the first move after New Year's when they were in middle school. They both thought they would have forever, but forever was cut short when Finny died in a car accident with what would've been his ex-girlfriend. Growing up next door to Finny, Autumn and him were instantly best friends because their mothers were best friends. Autumn gets a boyfriend and Finny gets a girlfriend but the romantic feelings between each other never died out, but only they got stronger. This book has personally taught me my guy best friend has made a lasting impact on my life and I wouldn't know what to do if he tragically died in a situation like this. "If only he had been with me" really made me stop and think about how I spend time with my friends and more specifically him, as we grew up only a neighborhood away and we as humans never know when it'll be our last time seeing someone. I believe everyone should read this book once and really allow it to sink in and realize how you need to cherish the people you have in your life as we're only here for so long.

Having anxiety at a young age has hindered many choices I could've made. Social anxiety specifically caused me to become homeschooled from 7th grade to 10th grade due to the fact of not being able to function in a regular public school like the rest. This year (11th grade) was the first time I had stepped foot in a school in 3 years, not knowing anyone or having any idea how I'd be able to function. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression shortly after my 6th grade year resulting in me being put on not only anti-anxiety medicine but also anti-depressants and mood stabilizers to try to regulate the anxious spiral. The anxious spiral caused me to start self-harming and a multitude of other issues. I was shortly after referred to a therapist I still have to this day that helps me to realize how my brain functions and how I can switch these thoughts before I start to dissociate and get too anxious. Growing up I knew I was different from the rest of the kids my age. Most kids would do before they would think and would regret their actions later on whereas I thought 3 times about my actions before I'd fulfill them. These issues caused me to miss chances other kids took because I thought so much about them or what they would think about me. Anxiety has not only taken part of my high school experience but also most of my teenage experience as well. Learning with anxiety is a very stressful and distracting experience due to constantly wondering what someone thinks of me or if I did something wrong. It's a constant battle I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Most of the time it's very hard to focus or to grasp a concept I'm learning because the thought of someone judging me is constantly in the back of my head starting a spiral. Many people also don't realize growing up in a "stable" household can also bring along social anxiety. Growing up without my father has made certain situations feel impossible as you see everyone else with both parents typically. When people see you only have one parent they're more likely to look at you differently especially if they've passed away which has also been a very hard and confrontational thing to talk about. No one talks about the mental illnesses only having one parent can form. A father is the one to be protective whereas the mother is nurturing and you need both to be a fully functioning person. Pursuing a college degree is very important to me especially because I never would've imagined I'd be able to go back to school due to the constant anxious state I was in. The idea of fulfilling my dream of going into the medical field specifically anesthesiology would be beneficial to me and the patients around me. Knowing surgery is a very anxiety-inducing process and knowing I grew up with anxiety and now have some tools to help me with it, I can help someone else going through their own anxieties even if it's not the same. I find comfort in helping someone else when they're struggling knowing I've been in that position and possibly being the one person who can help them see there's light at the end of the tunnel.