I’ve always loved reading comics and manga for as long as I can remember. I’ve always loved how unique stories and worlds could be presented and how an author’s vision would come to life on the pages. I also loved the sense of equality they provide and the equal opportunity they provide between artists. You don’t need expensive film equipment or expensive animation software to be able to produce a comic. All that is required is some paper, a pencil, and some pens. I want to make a positive impact with my art by creating my comic series and putting out stories that are similar to the ones that inspired me. Some of my biggest inspirations are series like Dorohedoro by Q Hayashida and Blame by Tsutomu Nihei, horror movies, and both punk and metal music. One thing I’ve noticed in terms of the arts is the need for everything to fit into a certain mold. Something safe, and has wide mainstream appeal. That’s something that neither metal music, horror movies, or my art have. After all metal music is often written off as “screamo trash” liked only by lonely outcasts who worship the devil. When it comes to horror movies, they’re greatly underappreciated, to the point where the Oscars hardly ever bother to acknowledge them. Corporations and the people with money, want something clean something that’s simplified and can be easily mass-produced. This results in often having the same stories in your works, the same tropes, the same characters and worlds, and oftentimes the same art style. I don’t want to make something like that. I want my art and whatever comics I make in the future to be truly me. To appeal to the things I like and to be seen by the people who like those things too, regardless of the challenges this career may bring. I know that there's an audience for this sort of art out there. I know with the low pay artists often receive, and the rise in popularity of AI-generated “art”, the future for being an artist often seems bleak. However, at the end of the day, creating art and making my characters and worlds is something I’m truly passionate about and something I’m willing to take a risk to pursue as a career.

My biggest influence thus far would have to be my parents. Through their examples of persevering in the face of massive struggles and never giving up when faced with adversity, I have become the person I am today. They always reminded me repeatedly that I was capable of doing great things and that I would always have their support no matter what. Whenever I found myself at my lowest point feeling as if I was incapable of accomplishing anything worthwhile, they would always be there to swiftly remind me of just how capable I was. Moving to the United States from Mexico and struggling heavily to speak English, my parents know firsthand what it is like to feel like you don't fit in the community around you. They would always tell me stories about how many times they had been rejected from a job or judged for their broken English. However, they refused to give up, instead working even harder than those around them to prove just how capable they are. They taught me to have this same attitude with my art. No matter how many times I feel frustrated when a drawing doesn't turn out how I want it to, and I feel like I want to give up, I continue to push forward and improve my skills. When I graduate, I want to create artwork that serves to entertain and nurture the parts of a person that people are then told to throw away and reject by society and their peers under the guise of growing up and becoming mature. Things like fantasy and sci-fi movies, liking metal music or rap, or watching cartoons and reading comics, are many times regarded as simple phases that a person needs to grow out of if they ever want to succeed in life. This is a struggle that my parents, my mother especially have faced growing up. They often had to work jobs at a young to support themselves and their families to the point where they didn't have time to do the things they loved doing. They didn't have time to play with any toys or watch any of their favorite shows, because the environment they grew up in, constantly told them that they needed to throw all that away to grow up. I am here to confidently say, that this is completely untrue. You never have to throw away what you love most. You never have to leave your "phases" or give up the things you love most in life to grow up. I want my art to embody a philosophy of rejecting society's demands that a person abandons what they enjoy to assimilate into the world and be accepted by the majority. I love horror movies and it is a love and influence I wear on my sleeve. I also love metal music and the aggressive nature it can embody. I love these two things despite how much society may attempt to criticize their existence I always love to include imagery and subject matters that are considered horrific and disturbing to others, while also adding a comedic twist to it. Things like dismemberment are common subject matter in my artwork. There's sometimes this sentiment that art must always be aesthetically clean and pleasing to look at. My art is made as a staunch rejection of this belief. I intentionally make disturbing art. I intentionally make art with a gritty style. I do this not to please the majority of people but in creating stories for people like me and doing things my way.

My dream version of my future self is an artist who is creative in his endeavors, who is always willing to experiment, who is willing to take risks, who creates art, and stories that can bring happiness to people and entertain them when the situation of the world becomes bleak, and who never let the world take his empathy and happiness away from him, no matter what may happen.

Often, when people want to make themselves feel happier they'll want to see and listen to things with what they view as being positive and cheerful. They want to see things with bright and flashy colors and hear songs with high-pitched vocals and cheery lyrics. People want to see cheerful and optimistic things to make themselves feel that way. While I see the merit and enjoyment in media like this, I think it's also important to acknowledge that there's merit in art that serves the exact opposite purpose. There's genuine enjoyment and serenity to be found in artwork and music that was made to be disturbing and provocative. I utilize horrific and grim imagery in a lot of my artwork and it can be traced back to what I used to cope with my frustrations growing up. Growing up, my family and I always found a new struggle to deal with, whether it was paying our bills, or my parents trying to find a job that paid better. During these times I needed an escape, and the things that provided me the escape were things like heavy metal music and horror movies. I've always loved both of these genres of entertainment due to the energy and adrenaline that they can let out and make one feel. They can be therapeutic in the sense that they can take your fears, anxieties, and anger and express them through their imagery and lyrics. I could never find satisfaction in entertainment that tried to be completely positive and happy all the time. It felt fake artificial and forced. To me, heavy metal bands like Slipknot and Korn, and horror movies like Nightmare on Elm Street make the world more positive by providing an outlet for the fears and frustration held by so many people and finding some sort of beauty in the chaotic mess that life tends to be. That's the kind of impact I want my artwork to have. I want to provide a space for people similar to me, who can find entertainment and enjoyment in dark imagery and subject matters. I want it to be enjoyed by those who feel frustrated with the situations they're in, who face constant fear and anxiety in life, and want to lash out and let them know that they are not alone in having those feelings.

My art can best be described as art that is made for strange people by a strange person. Growing up I've always found myself attracted more towards stories and art that were willing to depict unique and strange settings and characters, and that was willing to challenge the status quo of whatever their respective mediums and genres. I hold a massive amount of respect for artists, who rather than choosing to create what is safe, marketable, and appeals to everyone, will instead write, and draw what it is that they themselves love and value. Some of my favorite comic and manga artists are those who are willing to express surreal and strange concepts in their own unique way such as Q Hayashida, Tsutomu Nihei, and Mike Mignola. It's the same philosophy I take into my art. Be willing to have imperfections in your work and be willing to make art that isn't considered appealing by many. My drawings all have a sort of rough texture and gritty atmosphere to them. Aside from different comic and manga artists. My work is also usually influenced by horror movies and heavy metal music. I've always loved the uneasy feeling of anxiety that horror movies can give you as well as the adrenaline rush that can come from listening to a well-made metal song. I always make it a personal goal of mine to make sure every piece I create invokes those same emotions that these pieces of media have made me feel when experiencing them. My process for creating my art can include many steps. Sometimes I'll think of a particular activity like a doctor's appointment or about the objects I see around me and try to find a way to manipulate them in a way that you wouldn't see before. For example, for one of my art pieces, I took something ordinary like a mannequin and added features you wouldn't see in real life like flesh blood and organs. Sometimes I'll look at some of my favorite characters from different sources of media and want to make art of them in my own style. After I have a general idea of what concept I want to include in my artwork I then start working on concept art and sketches of the piece, which admittedly takes me the longest. I can spend anywhere around 4 to 6 hours working around sketching my art pieces alone. After that I'll then work on inking the drawing itself. Sometimes I like to keep the drawing in black and white, and sometimes I like to add color into the drawing to add more flair to it. I often like to experiment with multiple mediums, including compressed charcoal, watercolor paint, micron pens, and India ink. Attending college has benefitted me in my endeavors as an artist, exposing myself to new techniques and skills that I can use to improve my skills, as well as surrounding me with fellow artists who constantly serve as a constant source of inspiration for me. Winning this scholarship would help me by providing me with the funding necessary to continue my education without the need of taking out massive loans or needing to work hours at a part time job, which would allow me to focus more on the things I like doing. My dream would be to become a comic artist and publish my own stories with my own characters, like all the artists who have inspired me. Through winning this scholarship I could have the time to hone the skills needed to achieve this dream.

I believe that despite the many different career paths and majors that a university has to offer students, and the different motivations each student may have for attending a university, each student has one major goal in common. They each wish to pursue a career that will allow them to impact the world in their own way. However, impacting the world does not just mean creating an invention or creating a machine that can save lives. It can also mean creating a product that can bring enjoyment to people. A source of entertainment that people look forward to enjoying after work or school. The stories we watch on a screen or read in a book form some of the happiest memories in every person’s life. To have these sources of relief and entertainment is essential to living life. That is why majors centered around art and entertainment can be just as important as something such as engineering or law. Society needs these types of people to continue providing the world with entertainment, lest it become nothing but an endless cycle of constant work with no relief or end in sight. I want to attend college as a way for me to add to those stories that can entertain people and provide them with the same form of escape from the troubles of life that I and many others have been provided. Attending a college not only provides a student with a pathway into entering a career but also provides them with the resources necessary for getting the most out of their education in this major that they would not be able to receive outside of a university. That is especially the case for me. I am currently studying art, specifically painting and drawing. I feel that studying this major will help me greatly improve my skills as an artist not only by teaching me different techniques and practices that will improve the quality of my art as well as surrounding myself with other likeminded creative individuals. Inspiration is essential to any creative process and there is no better way to be inspired than to be surrounded by others who share your passion for creativity and who have their own desire to show the world what they have made. In terms of a career, my goal has not changed very much since I was a child. If I can remember I have always wanted to be a comic artist and publish my own stories. Comics have always played a very large role in my life growing up, shaping the kind of media I enjoy and the kind of person I am. From comics published by massive companies like Marvel or DC, to more personal works from the likes of Image to the more stylized manga from Japan, I have always been fascinated by the stories authors and artists can tell with just some pen, ink, and paper. I want to be able to attend college not only to improve the art skills necessary to make my own comics but also provide me with the connections and resources necessary to make it far within the comic industry. It is because of this that I am excited to continue pursuing an education in the arts and see where my artistic abilities go from here.

I feel that when it comes to art, artists ensure that what they are showing represents who they are and what it is they like. Not what people and critics demand of them or what is considered popular but just what they wish to show. I feel that I have done just that with this submission. The following art piece that I have submitted is a multi-medium drawing depicting a surgical procedure conducted by alien life forms. It was made using micron pens, and India ink and took a total of around 12 hours. It was simultaneously a challenging and invigorating experience that allowed me to create art depicting the subject matter I love seeing in the media I watch. Growing up I felt insecure about my art compared to my peers and professionals in the art industry. My line art was always sloppy and scratchy, my drawings would always end up smudged, and I had this idea that no one would like the type of drawings I was making. Every bit of art I saw, whether they were paintings in a museum, cartoons on TV, or drawings in a comic book I always brushed off any compliments that my art received as more of an attempt to be polite rather than liking what I was showing. It got to the point where I doubted my skills as an artist entirely and was ready to give up on being an artist. Then I came across an artist by the name of Q Hayashida and her manga Dorohedoro as well as the art of Kim Jung Gi and Studio Madhouse’s film Redline. Seeing Hayashida’s art changed my views on art as a whole. Hayashida’s style is very gritty and intentionally unsettling, using a mix of grotesque and chaotic imagery and dark comedy. Her linework and shading in particular help her artwork stand out by being intentionally rough and dirty. Hayashida didn’t feel the need to make her artwork aesthetically pleasing or cute. Her characters are often covered in scars and blood. It is that imagery that draws people toward her art. People love how grimy and dirty her manga panels feel and the rough and chaotic feel that they give. They love her work specifically because of how dirty it is. It helped make me feel that my artwork didn’t need to be clean or aesthetically pleasing and that I could draw attention to it in the way I was drawing. My art didn’t have to be perfect or professional or attractive. It just had to represent me and what I liked. My dream is to publish my comics preferably independently, and tell my own stories in their unique settings. When creating this drawing I had created a rough sketch of the piece while also not concerning myself too much with cleaning up my line work. When going through the process of creating this drawing I had to remember two rules. These are meant to be aliens and it’s important to make sure that not only should they not look like humans, but they should also not look too similar to each other. I wanted each alien shown in this piece to be different and unique from the doctor and his nurse to the aliens watching through the observation window. I hope this piece can express my interests and ideas to others and display a style that challenges people's notions of what art should be like.

I've been wrestling with anxiety issues for several years of my life up to now. I found that often I would have difficulties breathing and that my heart would start beating very fast over the slightest issues. I was constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios for every problem I had. If I don't check the stove again, the house will explode. If I don't do well on this test, I'll fail, drop out and wind up homeless. If I voice my opinion around my peers they'll start to hate me and I'll have no friends. It was to the point where something like packing a suitcase for a trip or learning to drive were massive hurdles for me to overcome because I was always worried about those worst outcomes. It got to the point where my anxiety even began to bleed over into my passions, and made me question if my aspirations were worth chasing. One of my biggest passions has always been drawing and anything related to art in general. Whether it was painting, animation, making a sculpture out of clay, or designing concept art for a character, I have always had a passion for creating my own stories, worlds, and characters with whatever materials I can find around me. However, this passion has functioned as a bit of a double-edged sword. Although art is what I am genuinely passionate about doing, it has also been a source of anxiety for me because of how it may affect my future. I was insecure about whether or not the art I was making was any good, and whether or not I could make good money doing this. It would get to the point where I'd be awake at 3 am in my bed on the verge of a panic attack because I felt that the career I was pursuing and the passion I had was going to lead me nowhere. It had gotten to the point where I was unsure if I even wanted to go to college at all because I felt that pursuing an art career, especially when compared to something like engineering or medicine was a useless endeavor that would get me nowhere in life. I had felt lost and didn't what it was I was doing with my life. It had led to me developing a massive fear of not only being a failure but also letting down my loved ones and everyone who had supported me up to this point. I was anxious about being a disappointment to the family. In recent years, following several therapy sessions, I've found ways to help myself cope with my anxiety. One of the biggest coping skills I utilize is thought-stopping. If I'm worrying about any issue, like say a grade I received on an essay, or finishing a big project, I simply have to think about whether or not I can do anything to resolve the issue. If there's nothing I can do, I'll simply distract myself with something else like a tv show or a video game. If I can do something then I divide the task into smaller activities to make it manageable. In terms of my insecurities towards my art, I just remind myself that making my art is what I am truly passionate about and that it would be wrong to throw away something I love. Even though I'm not sure being an artist will amount to something fruitful, I continue anyways. I don't know what future this career holds, but I want to pursue it anyways regardless of what any naysayers tell me.