I'm a "young" Widow about to turn 42 who just completed her 1st semester of grad school at Arizona State University for my Masters in Social Work. I have a Bachelor's Degree that I obtained in my 30s. I grew up in a rural area of upstate New York and was an only child who watched her parents always helping other children with less in life and I truly knew I wanted to do same. I never wanted children as I didn't imagine I could provide the childhood my parents gave me. I met my husband when I was 18, he came from a troubled background and the opposite of me. We both obtained our GEDs together when we turned 20 and continued to grow & learn as active volunteers at the Ronald McDonald House of CNY. Meeting families there over the years made me realize I needed to work in the field. I left my decent paying job in the private aviation field after ten years and started working a local group home as a direct support professional for folks with IDD. We struggled financially even more, but I was so happy! I began my college endeavor then as well. I worked full-time and attended college full-time so I could get it done as quick as possible. During this time we decided to sell our little home and move south for easier winters and more opportunities for my career. It wasn't until 6/2018 we finally left rural upstate NY and moved outside of Charlotte, NC. Sadly, what should of been growth led to Mt husband becoming an alcoholic and letting some last troubles he didn't heal from wit his childhood lead to mental illness. This was ruining what was a dream marriage for many years. I was working for hospice here in North Carolina and began experiencing depression myself. I ended up commiting myself into a local hospital for help with my own mental wellbeing. I didn't know her to live without a supportive partner and be 13 hours from any loved one while supporting my husband the best I could. We purchased a home in 2019 and then September of 2020 he died. He was my life and now I was lost with no idea what to do. I didn't want to move home with everyone, but I had no one still here in North Carolina either. Thanks to the support of my friends I have pushed through his loss and even though some days my grief knocks me down a bit, I know I live in for him. I turned 40 June 2022 and had my 1st child/daughter a week later. I realized I needed to get my degree done there was no more time to waste in my grief and letting life pass more. I was accepted into the current program I am working on, but I am struggling with financial aid. Having my daughter and working full-time while attending college full-time can be a challenge but if I stick to it and maintain these grades (I just finished the Spring semester with a 3.8 GPA) I will show her the best possible life and a mom that endured extreme pain and loss but carried on.

I lost my husband and partner of 20 years in 2020. We had a hard but amazing relationship and so much growth. He came from the projects in his hometown in upstate NY as a criminal and high school drop out. He built himself into a competitive Store Manager with Napa Auto. We completed in a local biggest loser program in NY and lost over 300lbs together. I wanted to leave NY because I work in social services and found more chance for growth and helping communities if we left and moved south. Plus easier winters. Sadly much of my husbands past haunted him when we moved to NC in 2018 and he became an alcoholic. I tried to help him, some of his friends did as they seen him turn into a severely depressed angry human who worked and just drank liquor. On the evening of September 6, 2020 we got into an argument(not uncommon sadly now) and he looked me in the eyes said he was going to do what it took to let me be happy again in life like I deserved. I assumed he was just going for a typical night ride on his four wheeler and would be home. I woke the next morning to him not inside & our garage still open. After several hours of our local law enforcement searching the county for him, they discovered his body. He had hit a culvert in 6th gear on his race quad and died in impact at the scene. I think because I honestly became the 5th widow that year in our circle of friends, I watched my mother endure being a Widow (my father died 10 years prior) and I spent 3 years working for hospice when we moved here to North Carolina it helped me..I still have hard days. I now have a 2 year old, I never imagined being a mom either, but I have realized for her I need to finish my degree and I am now attending Arizona State University full time for their Masters in Social Work. I just completed Spring 2024 with a 3.8 GPA. I begin my internship next week and. I remind myself I am doing this for my daughter and to make my Kate husband proud still as well. He knew I wanted to get my Masters, but when we moved it his addiction also effected me..I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety because I was not able to handle my marriage failing and being 13 hours from all our loved ones back home. I have found empowering others is vital for my healing too. Roy (my late husband) and I were active volunteers back home for many years with the Ronald McDonald House of CNY and a local church that provided services for the homeless. I obtained my Bachelors degree in my 30s and I was scared of more debt so I never went on for my Masters until now. I am about to turn 42 in June and I am having a hard time paying for my summer classes I need to continue and graduate as planned sadly. I'm not able to get financial aid for the summer and have started searching for scholarships to help. My husband was an amazing man and built himself from a troubled criminal to a leader in a nationwide business. Having lost him has taught me so much and I live on his memory even if I have a child and a "new unplanned" life already in just 4 years since we lost him. I share my grief with others who suffer close loss and remind those who fight addiction how it can and will effect their mental health in ways they may never imagined. Live every day to the fullest and no matter what you plan, if life tries or does change it, keep going forward and count even your tiny blessings daily.